Aaron & Jackson: 1912
by Dayne Dinning
Summary: Now after seeking revenge for what was done to Jackson; how will Aaron cope with what he's done? And will it tear them apart if it ever comes out?
1. New Lives

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"New Lives"

* * *

The port was huge; it had to be to accommodate thousands of people, vehicles and cargo. But looking at the colossal ship in the bay, it was small in comparison.

Aaron Livesy held his third class ticket tightly in his hand, everything he owned hung over his shoulder in a brown sack. He watched as people hurried around him, he was in no rush he had been through the inspection queue, something he didn't like actually and he made them aware of it too, just because he wasn't well off didn't mean he was riddled with fleas. He rolled his eyes remembering the heated conversation, as he stood watching people they looked down on him, he scowled looking disgustedly back at them, he hated people like that. He groaned. _And I'm getting on a ship full of them, good one Aaron, could just go back to Emmerdale? _He thought to himself but the step forward was his answer. He couldn't do that, he wanted a new life and America was the only place he could do that and getting there on the largest ocean liner to date the R.M.S. Titanic, well that was just the start.

The door to the Renault limousine was held open for her, especially for a woman of such celebrity, Hazel Rhodes' art had become popular in the UK very quickly and now she was making her way to America to let the same popularity ensue. However that wasn't the only reason she was going there. Hazel's son Jackson Walsh and his fiancée Samantha Whittaker were going back to her home country for their wedding, a wedding Hazel was much looking forward too, though she didn't sense the same happiness from her son.

Hazel stood beside Samantha and smiled a smile that hid a big worry as she watched her son co-ordinate with their steward on transferring their belongings to the ship. He walked towards them a few seconds later. "We're all ready, our state room has a private promenade deck" he told them.

Hazel turned to Samantha who smiled happily and Hazel gave a wink. "Well if we're rich then why not?" she stated.

"Mum!" Jackson frowned. "A lot of people here aren't, you're being a bit rude"

"I'm not concerned if they can or cannot hear what I'm saying Jackson, what is up with you? You've acted strangely for weeks" she told him.

Jackson sighed. "I-I've just never travelled on board a ship I've helped build"

"Oh it will be fine darling, shall we?" Samantha asked, her American accent very clear to anyone who could hear.

Hazel nodded and began walking ahead. Samantha walked toward Jackson and slid her arm around his. "Don't worry Jackson, the ship is grand" she smiled up at him. "And anyway, gives you an excuse to wear things like this" she tugged at his suit with a smirk. "Instead of that dirty building gear"

Jackson smirked. "The rest will do me good I suppose, I'm sorry for being snappy lately"

"Its fine" she told him as they walked to the gangway that led them to the entrance to their part of the ship.

Jackson looked up at the ship as he walked up the sloping ramp. He sighed. He didn't want this.

Yards away Aaron looked up at the ship, he checked the watch on his wrist and he frowned instantly. He tapped it profusely, and then sighed; it had stopped. He looked around scanning the buildings beyond the sea of people, Titanic left at twelve pm, he didn't dare go and check the time instead he began walking to one of many gangways and walked up, these were less busy, definitely a sign he was third class and possibly that it was almost time to leave. He stopped at the top and was greeted by an officer in a black uniform with a white shirt beneath the black jacket and he wore a hat. "Ticket?"

Aaron quickly handed it over.

The officer examined it quickly. "Inspection queue?"

Aaron sighed. "Yes" he told him with bite. "Don't get me started on that!"

"Alright, well then, welcome to Titanic" the officer said proudly with a smile on his face.

Aaron proceeded to walk past him with a frown on his face then he gave him a look as if to say it's nothing special. Maybe it was but to him it was just a ship, a means of travel that he so desperately needed to take.

Once inside the corridors were laced with white wood that spanned the entire length of the corridors. The corridors themselves were ram packed with passengers trying to find their way to their rooms, Aaron glanced down at his ticket as he walked through the crowds and occasionally bumping into a few, he murmured to himself his room number until he found the door. He let out a sigh of relief when he opened the door, thankful to be escaping the chaos. He turned to face into the room after closing it to be greeted by a young man, possibly the same age as him. "Hi, I'm Aaron"

"Adam" he introduced himself and held out his hand which Aaron took and they shook hands.

"Just us then?" Aaron wondered as he lowered his bag to the floor.

Adam nodded. "Looks like, just one bunk-bed"

Aaron looked around the room, the bunk bed was against one wall, the sink was against the wall in the centre beside the beds and there were two chairs aligning the opposite wall, and a small wardrobe for belongings. Aaron checked his ticket again. "Ahh yeah, single cabin..."

"I've got top bunk by the way" Adam smiled.

Aaron nodded. He wasn't overly fussed. "It's okay, anyway, I see a sink, but where's the loo, the bath?"

"They're all in the public areas, there's only two baths, one for men, one for the women"

"Ugh"

Adam chuckled. "I'm sure they're cleaned after use, wouldn't worry about it"

"I'll try not too" he mused as he rolled his eyes as he looked around the room again.

"You heard what they're calling this ship?"

"Titanic" he answered blankly, as if he'd just been asked a stupid question.

"No" Adam chuckled. "Word of mouth sort of...the ship of dreams"

Aaron frowned. "Catchy" he replied sarcastically.

"You're not too bothered are ya?" Adam asked with a smile.

"Nope, it's just a passenger ship, but yeah, alright I can see why people call it that, a lot of people are leaving for America in hopes of a new life"

"Are you?"

"...Yeah" he nodded. "There has to be more opportunity over there"

"I hope so, that's why I'm going" Adam grinned.

"Cool" Aaron said with a nod. "Anyway, I'll be back in a bit, gunna go up on deck, get some air. Touch my stuff, not that there's much but touch it and I might just have to hurt ya" he smiled at him.

Adam laughed. "I won't you can trust me"

"I don't even know ya"

"I'm just a trustworthy guy and if you play your cards right I might just be your friend"

"Who says I need any?"

"Well we're both travelling alone, why not?"

"Hmmm" he sounded as a smirk crept across his lips. "I'll think about it" and with that he opened the door and headed back out into the corridor which was now a lot less chaotic.

/

With their belongings more or less unpacked Hazel walked out into their private promenade and watched her son leaning against one of the windows, his arms rested over the edge, he'd opened it for air. She couldn't approach slowly her shoes gave her away on the wooden floor.

Jackson turned to face her. "Everything sorted?"

Hazel nodded. "Just about"

"Good"

"Listen Jackson, I know something's wrong and I have a good idea what it's all about and I'm telling you it's wrong, it's really wrong, you're marrying Samantha and you're going to love her"

Jackson sighed. "I do love her but it doesn't mean she is what I want"

"Well what you want you cannot have, I won't allow it Jackson!" Hazel tried to be quiet in her frustrations.

Jackson shook his head as he looked to the floor. "You're making me do something I don't want"

Hazel grabbed her son by the jaw sharply and lifted his head. "You have no choice, you're marrying her Jackson, that idea you've got in your head is the workings of the devil, it is wrong, men!" she scoffed. "The most ridiculous and disgusting thing I've heard in my life, and I've only ever heard it from you Jackson, it isn't normal, not in my eyes and certainly not in the eyes of society. Fix it" she hissed sharply then turned away and walked away into the lounge area of their suite.

* * *

TBC...

I know this is a different approach but I loved the idea, I've always been fascinated by the Titanic aswell so that was a bonus for me. I hope you lot like this idea too! I understand Hazel is written differently but I had to fit her into the era the story is set, in a way which would be realistic, well I hope. I never lived those days (obviously lol!) no amounts of research can tell me how people reacted to gay people back then. Please read and review as always, it's much appreciated guys x


	2. The Smile

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"The Smile"

* * *

The fresh sea air filled his lungs as Aaron now walked along the quieter boat deck, after waving off family and friends, the families and couples retreated back to unpack their belongings. Aaron wasn't bothered he didn't have a lot anyway, he much preferred to be up on deck for the air, his room was airy but very cramped, and he'd only be in there to sleep if he could help it.

He thought back to his home, a tiny village in the world, he'd miss it and the people, his mum but he was getting nowhere there. Doing errands for his uncle that almost got him arrested on several occasions however paid for his ticket on Titanic but he didn't mind, not now that he was on board and on his way, all 2,224 passengers and crew were on their way.

He ran his hand along the cold white railings as he walked along the deck, he reached a set of steps and he walked up them, revealing the bow of the ship, and from the look of it not really a place for passengers but as he looked around there were no warnings, he carried on but he was being careful, he looked around fascinated, two large chains both parallel to each other attached to the anchor which he couldn't see but he wasn't stupid, he knew what it was for. Aaron stopped on a metal grill at the very front of the bow. He looked down into where the chains continued into, he couldn't really see anything. He turned his attention directly ahead. "Wow" he breathed as he took in the sight, yes he'd seen it already but not from this point of view, the great expanse of the ocean, he was mesmerized. He held onto the railing and looked over; watching as the ship charged its way along, parting the water in the process, causing it to lap up harshly against the ship. Aaron smiled to himself and stood properly again and remained there for quite some time, thinking up plans in his head, big plans for his life. Then his thoughts crossed to his sexuality, if he and Adam became friends which certainly looked like was on the cards, should he in fact tell him? He wasn't so sure, maybe not yet he decided.

Jackson sat on the sofa in his state room with his mum and fiancé and listened to the endless chatter about art, he himself couldn't care less, yes he was a builder and helped build the ship he was now sat in and it could be seen as an art also but he had heard enough, their frank boring tones bore into his skull and he needed to get out. He stood up quite abruptly. "Where are you going love?" Hazel asked, acting as though no heated exchanged had occurred between her and Jackson. Keeping up appearances of course.

"I'm not a child mum" he told her bluntly, he sighed, realising his error, he didn't want an argument "I'm going for some air"

"Oh" Samantha smiled. "Well then I'll join you"

"You-" Jackson frowned, he didn't want her company "You don't have too"

"I'm not having my husband to be to wander this ship alone, and anyway I want to see it properly for myself too" she explained as she got to her feet and followed him.

Jackson rolled his eyes as he turned to open the door for her, she walked through first and he followed, she linked her arm through his as they walked, both nodding respectively to other first class passengers that were walking by them in the wide carpeted corridor, something that had been drilled into his brain to do. _It's called being polite _he recalled his mother's words in his mind.

"You were quite rude Jackson" Samantha stated as she gave him a disapproving look.

"I can't do anything right can I?" he asked harshly.

Samantha sighed, she had a feeling this would happen. "I will not argue with you out here?"

"Why? Putting on an act are we?" he frowned as he asked quietly.

"No, I don't know what you mean Jackson"

"This life" he spat. "It's wrong"

"And what can I ask is wrong about it?"

"First class" he mocked. "Everyone should be equal"

"Well if you want my opinion the class system is just we can't mingle with the likes of the people we saw coming on board" she told him.

Jackson clenched his jaw in frustration and remained silent until they were up on deck.

/

Aaron walked back the way he came but headed on up to the boat deck, he walked past doorways marked for first class only, he chuckled to himself and shook his head. He was glad of it actually, he'd only get looked down on, but on deck he was victim to it unfortunately, older men in their suits with their women at their arm wearing expensive dresses and big hats looked at him like he was a thug. He used to be when working for his uncle but they didn't know that, in fact Aaron could be nice when he wanted to be, _no need to judge _he thought to himself as he stared back at them with an equally as disgusted expression as he passed them.

"Ah there you are!" Adam called.

Aaron frowned as he quickly looked around but then saw him walking towards him. "So had enough air yet?" Adam smirked.

"Uh nah, quite like it up here actually"

Adam nodded. "Yeah it's not bad is it? Huge though"

Aaron laughed. "I don't think huge covers it"

"I know, I mean look at the size of them" Adam stated as he looked up to one of the funnels, Aaron followed his eye line, he wasn't that bothered.

Adam frowned. "You're a weird one"

"Why?" Aaron asked with a smirk as they continued walking.

"You don't say much"

"And you say too much" he shot back, with a smile on his face.

Adam nudged his shoulder and they laughed. A while later they had walked the length of one side of the ship and were walking up the other side but stopped halfway to take a breather, it was an open area, with benches a young boy was playing with a spinning top on the wooden deck, Aaron watched smiling.

Jackson and Samantha stopped on their walk, Jackson leaned against them looking down at the same open area where Aaron and Adam were sat, along with several others. Samantha stood beside him. He looked at her, wondering whether to ask the question, but he did. "Am I good enough?"

"Excuse me? Of course you are Jackson, I-I just have an iss-" she was cut off by Jackson sighing and shaking his head.

"Building?" he questioned.

"Well, yes, why do the work of the little people?"

"I may be rich Samantha but I'm the same as the people in steerage, I want to work, I want to physically feel like I've done a day's work when I get home, and do you know what when I' am working - building with the others, the 'little people' as you so arrogantly put it they respect that maybe you should take a leaf out of their book, I'm not a rich snob in their eyes, I'm not anyway but they don't see me as one, they don't judge by stereotype" he gave her a look, and she knew what he was getting at. That was aimed at her and his mum, for being a typical rich snob as Jackson so indirectly put it.

Adam sat looking around and laid his eyes on the woman standing on a higher level of deck, with another man but that didn't bother him. "Wow, she's a goddess"

Aaron frowned. "You're pushing above your weight" not particularly looking at who he was, but still watching the boy playing.

"You're not even looking!"

"I don't need to you're a perv mate"

Adam's eyebrows raised in surprise, then a grin curled his lips. "And you just called me mate"

Aaron frowned and shrugged. "yeah well..."

"yeah well what?" Adam smirked, waiting to hear it.

"Yeah well I suppose you are" Aaron looked at him and smiled.

"Told ya we would be!" he said happily and slapped his hand down on Aaron's shoulder then continued to watch the woman, who was still thankfully there. "Ahh Aaron seriously mate, I so would you have to have a look"

Aaron smirked at him then turned to look up. His mouth fell open slightly and he stared. He swallowed hard, still transfixed.

"Like I said, I would"

"Yeah...me too"

/

"You are not one of them Jackson" Samantha told him.

Jackson frowned, maybe he was being stupid, taking it a bit too far now but he didn't agree with it, his fiancé was a snob to put it bluntly or was he just trying to find reason to leave her, or for her to leave him so that he could live his life without having to air his secret. However though if it was to be aired, he had no qualms about that; only his mother did, it would ruin her precious reputation, but this was his life not hers.

"I mean look at those two" she continued unknowingly referring to Adam and Aaron.

Jackson just frowned and turned to look, and he ended up looking at one in particular, he was looking up too, their eyes met. Jackson's heart began to quicken and he was distracted for a second or two "What about them?" he asked, hesitant to break his gaze with the young handsome man but he did.

"Torn and dirty shabby clothes, they don't even look like they have bathed for weeks" she sniggered.

"Of course they have!" he defended.

"I'm tired of this now Jackson, you spend too much time with them, it does things to your mind, and I'd rather it stopped"

"And my job is with those kinds of people as you knew when we met, and I'm not stopping doing what I love"

"And I wonder what my father will say to that" she said with a raised eyebrow watching for any fault in Jackson's body language. There was none.

"Like I care what your father thinks"

Samantha huffed loudly and turned on her heel and left without him.

_Finally! _He thought, welcoming the peace. He leaned against the railing again and looked down but the man wasn't looking, he seemed to be in deep conversation with whom he could only guess to be his friend. Jackson began to stare and let his mind wander. He did love Samantha but not in a romantic way, at first it was when he was pushed into it by his mother, his mind gradually began to make him think he loved her when all along he didn't. The hold of love was quickly loosening its grip on him, it was more of a friends love if he thought about it, and he still ashamedly had sex with her, keeping up his pretence. He wasn't proud of it either but it had to be done. One day though he would be with whom _he_ wanted to be with and fall in love with them willingly and for that person to love him back, not for his money, or his background, the family name, no for him, Jackson Walsh and everything that made him who he was. He longed for that day. He didn't know that it may just come a little sooner than he thought.

Aaron turned again surprised to see he was still there. He caught his gaze and smiled at him. Jackson smiled back.

* * *

TBC...


	3. The Mirror

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"The Mirror"

* * *

Just had a thought for a song to cover the story overall, never thought of one before so here's what I think could fit this story if you're interested :) watch?v=dSLOR2cRouU

* * *

Aaron turned again surprised to see he was still there. He caught his gaze and smiled at him. Jackson smiled back.

...

"Right then _mate _I'm gunna shoot off somewhere, you coming?" Adam told him with a smile.

Aaron hesitantly looked away from the handsome first class passenger back at his new friend. "Erm nah you're alright gunna stay here a while"

"You sure?" Adam asked.

"Yeah" Aaron smiled. "I'll find ya later"

"Ok, see ya" Adam said as he got up and walked away.

Aaron looked thoughtful as he took in a deep breath then turned back to look at the man, he was no longer there. Aaron sighed and got up, maybe he'd see him again, as he wandered slowly to the stern of the ship he realised that Adam was quite attractive actually, he hadn't really paid attention until they were sat talking, but he was definitely nice to look at. He ignored people as he walked the deck and just looked out at the ocean; it was a bright sunny day with wisps of clouds scattered in the sky. He was content, relaxed, it was an unusual feeling. At home he was the complete opposite, moody and violent at times, he was also quite but that was the only trait that stayed with him there on the ship, it was just the way he was. After walking for a little while he walked up a set of steps once again and walked onto the stern of the ship, there were a few benches around but beyond those a wide open area in a semi circle shape, with railings as a safety measure obviously. He continued walking to the rails and looked down at the water below. He frowned, he was never fascinated by anything at home, but now he was fascinated by the ocean and the ship, he couldn't fathom how something so large and obviously heavy was staying afloat, he wasn't a very well educated lad, school was never an importance. But now at eighteen he wished he'd gone more but family matters were important to him back then he wanted to help when and where he could, even if it was for Cain.

"Beautiful view isn't it?" asked Jackson as he stood beside the young man who had caught his eye, literally.

Aaron turned to face him _Oh wow...his voice is even better than I imagined _he thought to himself. "Yeah, it's amazing" he replied, he was reserved he had been since coming onboard, he had to be really. He looked at him curiously. "No offence or anything mate but why are you even talking to me?"

Jackson smirked. "I had a feeling you'd say that"

"Well it's true you lot don't talk to us, we don't talk to you"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah I know" he said in a sigh. "But I'm not like them"

"Obviously" Aaron said as he turned to look out at the view once again with a slight smile on his face. "I'm Aaron by the way, Aaron Livesy" he said as he glanced slightly in his direction, then finally met his eyes once again. Beautiful big pools of brown, he was lost in them, he quickly looked away and tried to act normal, whatever normal was when he'd been stuck by love at first sight, something he had never believed but if this was how it was meant to feel, this was definitely it.

Jackson grinned and nodded with a slight pout, he liked it. "I'm Jackson Walsh" he said as he held out his hand with a charming smile.

Aaron chuckled, thrown by Jackson's offer of a handshake but he accepted and took his hand and shook it firmly. "Nice to meet you Jackson" he told him softly but then frowned. "Okay, what did I do? Because people aren't nice to me"

Jackson laughed; his expressions were actually adorable especially when he scrunched his face in confusion which wrinkled his nose. "You haven't done anything except catch my eye, you seem friendly and it looks like you're travelling alone or has your friend just gone off elsewhere?"

Aaron did hear his words, and was overanalysing them, _haven't done anything except catch my eye _he played it back in his mind and the only thing he could think was, is he gay? Surely not, he was with a woman, the same woman Adam was gawping at earlier when they both first saw their respective crushes. "Oh I'm travelling alone" he nodded. "He's been my friend for all of a few hours" he told him. "We're in the same room, he's a nice lad, might aswell make friends otherwise this trip would be a very lonely one"

Jackson smiled, it was interesting; Aaron was in fact alone but seemed happy, he was with another two people on this journey but yet he was the one feeling alone, feeling that the journey would definitely be. But now his entire outlook on things changed, something told him Aaron was gay, well he was staring right at him and had smiled back, and it wasn't just a smile either it was a meaningful smile, a deep smile if that could make any sense, signs could be misread at times and with the time in which they lived people who were gay like he was didn't air it publically, did nothing of the sort to make others aware of their secret, but he needed to find out. "If you're happy you're never alone" he told him.

Aaron slowly began to nod. "Yeah, suppose I' am"

"Good for you" Jackson leaned against the railings and while he was looking out at the long, wide white trail the ship was leaving in its wake Aaron couldn't help but look at his backside. He smirked; he approved then did the same as Jackson and rested forward against the rails.

"Tell me something about you then" Jackson suggested.

"Erm" He scrunched his face. "I don't think you'd be interested" he scoffed.

Jackson instantly turned to him. "Try me"

"I live, or lived in a small village in Yorkshire, I used to help my uncle out from time to time, wasn't really a job, more like errands that he couldn't do himself"

Jackson's eyebrows rose when he realised what Aaron was meaning. "Oh right, how'd that work then?"

"Ah you know get involved with the wrong people, i got into a few scrapes, narrowly avoided being arrested on several occasions but my family name circulates frequently within the police" he chuckled. "We fight, scrape and scrimp for everything we have and enjoy every day, it was never easy though"

"I can imagine"

Aaron frowned at him. "With all due respect, can you really?"

Jackson sighed and shook his head. "No, I guess not" he replied thoughtfully. "Sorry I didn't mean to seem condescending"

"You didn't" he shook his head quickly. "It's just your world is completely different, you lot haven't got a clue, but" Aaron sighed, weighing everything up. "The fact that you're talking to me says a lot and I'm enjoying your company"

"So am I" Jackson smiled. "Oh err" he rolled his eyes and Aaron chuckled. "I-I-I mean I'm enjoying yours"

"Good to know" Aaron told him then blew out a deep breath. "On another note, I love this ship"

Jackson beamed and grinned. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah, first time I've ever seen one and if it's the last I'll see that's fine" he smiled.

Jackson had an idea; he frowned as he thought it over. "I-I could take you on a tour if you like?"

"A tour?"

"Yeah why not?" he countered.

"Alright then" Aaron agreed happily and they both wandered off.

"Although don't take offense but you won't get into first class wearing what you are"

Aaron pretended to look shocked. "But these slightly boring and dull clothes are the high fashion I'll have you know" Aaron wore a white loose shirt but it defined his upper chest, on the lower half he wore beige corduroy trousers and a work type boot on his feet, they were very worn.

Jackson turned back to face him as they walked. "Yeah" he chuckled. "Not in this fake world you're about to enter it's not"

"Fake?"

"Oh come on you don't think?"

"Well, I dunno Jackson people are just born into a family with money and the cycle just continues, I wasn't that's all, I'm not jealous of them I just think the way some of them go on is disgusting, it's like I'm a piece of shit they just stepped in"

"Couldn't be more right, but just trust me when I say..."

"You're not like them" Aaron continued for him. "I know, I can tell" he smiled and followed him to a door on deck labelled 'aft first class stairway'. "Where are we going?" he said in an urgent hushed voice. "I shouldn't be in here"

"So you're with me" Jackson said as they walked down the stairs to the decks, he hadn't walked to his room from the aft of the ship before but he was sure he'd find his way, and once they got there they would be alone, his mum and Samantha would be having afternoon tea in the lounge – thankfully.

/

Jackson opened the door to his suite and entered finding it was in fact empty, he was grateful for that. Aaron followed behind and looked around, clearly impressed, dark oak wood panelling covered the walls of the large interconnecting rooms, he could see doors leading off into other rooms, he wasn't sure how many. Paintings also hung on the walls; art never interested him so he didn't pay much attention. "Nah, my rooms much better" he laughed, as did Jackson, then a thought occurred to him. Why had he followed a complete stranger to his room? Would he really, just for the sake of a tour?

Jackson wandered off and returned seconds later with a suit hanging on a hanger. "It should fit you"

"It better had or this tours cancelled" he told him as he took it and walked into the room Jackson had just walked out from, he didn't close the door behind him.

Jackson knew he shouldn't but he did, he walked so he could see and what he did see aroused him to a point he had to move away.

Aaron now stood pulling on the black pristine trousers, they did fit he didn't need a belt. "Impressive" he called out.

Jackson didn't quite hear him so he moved back into the doorway. Aaron saw him in the mirror. "Oh I said impressive, they do fit" he explained again as they seemed to lock their eyes onto each other through the mirror.

Jackson swallowed hard. "Uh yeah, y-you need to try the shirt and jacket next though"

Aaron jumped embarrassed, forgetting he was topless. "Sorry" he apologised as he scrambled for the shirt.

Jackson smiled slightly. "Don't apologise"

Aaron stopped with the shirt in hand and looked back in the mirror, their eyes instantly staring into the others again. Aaron could certainly feel a connection, he knew what it was on his part, but on Jackson's he wasn't so sure.

"I erm" Jackson coughed to clear his throat and he pointed away from the doorway. "I'll let you finish"

Aaron nodded. "Sure" he replied softly and watched him disappear in the reflection of the mirror.

* * *

TBC...


	4. If Things Are Meant To Be

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"If Things Are Meant To Be..."

* * *

As the evening set in and slowly began to end their first day aboard Aaron was sat with Adam in the third class general room, it was filled with smoke, smelled of ale and loud music filled the air, families, couples and people travelling alone all conversed together and had fun. Aaron took out a cigarette and lit it then quickly blew out the first draw from it. He looked at Adam and frowned at him.

"What? You've been looking at me funny since I got here!" Aaron accused as he picked up his pint glass and took a swig, looking at people dancing to the music.

"That's because you were gone ages!" he shouted over the music. "And you have a permanent grin on that face of yours"

Aaron shrugged. "So"

"So? What do you mean so? Get your leg over did ya?"

Aaron scoffed. "No!" he called back raised the cigarette to his mouth again and took a drag. "Anyway I don't have to tell you where I' am you know, you hardly know me"

"Yeah I know" he could tell Aaron's words weren't meant maliciously. "Sorry"

"Nah, don't be" he replied with a smile. He realised his sexuality was now becoming an issue; Adam had assumed he'd met a girl and had sex, and Aaron wasn't going to play along. In fact he had enjoyed an amazing afternoon with the sexiest most handsome man alive, he'd given Aaron a tour of the ship, then later found out Jackson helped build it, he was impressed, and found that he was fascinated by the man. He really, really was. But he didn't want to have to keep sidestepping the issue if Adam asked stuff or assumed, like he had just had, he started to consider telling him, if his judgements of Adam were correct, he'd be okay with it. He seemed laid back, have a laugh kind of lad, and nothing fazed him. Aaron hoped he was right.

Hours passed and two very drunken young lads sat at a table, their elbows drenched in the dark liquid as their drunken arm wrestles knocked over a glass or two. They didn't care. "Yes!" Aaron yelled happily. "I won again!"

Adam frowned. "You're a cheat"

"Oh no, don't be a sore loser, you still won one..."

"Oh wow, yeah out of five" They both laughed, and Adam looked over the clouded room caused by the cigarette smoke and looked at the large clock on the far wall. It was almost midnight. "Right" Adam declared as he unsteadily got to his feet, Aaron was almost halfway up ready to catch him but Adam regained control. "I'm going to bed, I'm done"

"So am I but I'm still here" he grinned, his vision masked slightly by the alcohol.

"Yeah well you're obviously made of more tolerable stuff than me, night mate" Adam slurred as he wandered away, and not in a straight line.

Aaron watched with a smile and laughed when he fell into a group of young women. Aaron closed his eyes, the room was spinning, he couldn't remember the last time he'd drank so much. He opened them again and carefully stood up, swayed then started walking away, he needed some air and the smoke was stinging his eyes and causing them to water. His drunken state made him feel like he was walking so fast that he wouldn't stop if he tried. He left through the door and walked along the corridor, unknowingly walking toward the wall then hitting it gently which alerted him and he straightened out but once he was he relaxed once again and started walking to the opposite side. His arm scraped along the wall alerting him again he stopped walking and sighed. _Concentrate _

Rooms, countless corridors and however many decks away Jackson stood in his and Samantha's bedroom, she had long been asleep. Jackson however couldn't, all he could think about was Aaron and a need to find him again was so great that he was now dressing once again ready to leave his fiancé to sleep alone. He quietly walked across the room and opened the door as carefully as he could then hurriedly left. He let out a sigh of relief but turned to see his mum sitting in the lounge.

"And where are you going?" she asked.

"Bloody hell mum! Trying to give me a heart attack?" he sighed. "I'm going for a walk, I can't sleep and lying there is doing nothing for me"

"How about a soothing drink?" she asked, she was very suspicious of him. "It's working for me"

"Yeah, well" he frowned as he walked over to the main door of their suite. "I'm not you mum, night" he told her and left the room quickly.

Hazel looked down into her hot drink, and let out a heavy sigh, something was going on, there had to be.

/

Aaron was climbing the aft third class stairway to the boat deck and his hand eye co-ordination was not functioning, in fact nothing was, his legs weren't conforming to what he wanted them to do, well maybe an exaggeration they were but he kept missing a step and falling up the stairs. Minutes later he walked out into the freezing cold night, the stars, millions of stars filled the sky, and with no major lights to mask them, he could see every one of them. "Wow" he breathed. He looked around there was nobody around, in his view anyway. Aaron walked aft and smiled as he approached, the place he'd met Jackson, he'd never forget that, even if nothing occurred between them but he really wanted it too. He could hear the sound of the water, the wake the ship left in fact causing it. He rested against the railings and looked out, the sky was black but there was definitely a difference in the water, it was more of a dark navy blue than black and it marked out the horizon perfectly if anyone paid attention. He took out a cigarette and lit it quickly and blew the smoke out, it lingered for a few seconds before dissipating.

Jackson smirked as he watched him from behind. "Bad habit that you know?"

Aaron jumped and quickly turned around. "Jesus!" he laughed.

Jackson held up his hands. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"

"It's alright, why are you up anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep, you?" he asked as he walked closer to him.

"I haven't tried going to sleep but I can bet as soon I get in bed I'll be gone"

Jackson chuckled.

"I'm drunk" he stated, his noise crinkling as he said it. "Completely and utterly drunk and you know what, I don't care"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "It's allowed"

Aaron's focus got better the more Jackson approached him and he took his breath away. He nodded, swallowing hard as he did. "Course it is, ugh the ship is spinning" he leaned over and pushed his palm into his forehead.

"You alright?" a concerned tone escaped Jackson.

"Yeah, yeah just give me a sec"

"Course, just hold onto that railing yeah?" he chuckled. "Falling overboard isn't an option"

"And being sick in front of you is? Ugh" he groaned.

Jackson shrugged. "I wouldn't care" he watched him, examining every part of him. "B-But if you do feel sick, that can go overboard, but you can't"

Aaron chuckled and stood straight slowly. "No, no I think I'll be alright...tell you something though" he began as he walked past Jackson to one of the benches. "Third class parties are definitely something"

Jackson smiled. "I bet"

"Yeah you uh, you should come down sometime"

Jackson joined him. "I will do, I'll make sure of it"

Silence fell upon them and Aaron sat looking down at the wooden deck. He shivered slightly in the cold, he could feel Jackson's eyes on him, he didn't mind he wanted his eyes on him, but more so his hands, hell his entire body on his. He closed his eyes as he said the words. "I'm attracted to you Jackson" he said softly, however keeping his eyes down.

Jackson bit his lip and looked out into the darkness, he nodded to himself accepting the words, relief at the words and that Aaron felt the same. It was an amazing feeling, but why had it happened? Why had it taken until Jackson left the UK on a passenger liner to meet a stranger, a perfect, possibly lovable stranger for this to happen, and not at home? Fate? He did always say if things are meant to be they'll happen, and it certainly looked like it was.

"I-I-I didn't tell you because you know what people are like with gays, homosexuality it doesn't matter what class you're in the majority of reactions are always similarly negative"

"An...And that's why I haven't told you either, I'm attracted to you Aaron" Jackson began "And when I first saw you today, I was struck, completely in awe I guess"

Aaron was now looking at him with a smile on his face. "I don't know what you see in me" he replied thoughtfully.

"I see everything Aaron"

Aarons smile widened and he nodded, then it faded as quickly as it came "But what about your fiancée?"

Jackson knew this would come at some point. He shrugged. "Something I have had to do Aaron, going over to America to marry her, to live there and to start a new life" he scoffed.

"But you're not happy Jackson, it's clear to see"

"Yeah I know...my mum knows and she doesn't like it at all, told me to fix it as if it's a problem, it's not I don't like what she's forcing me into for the sake of the family and her career, my mum she's a bit of a celebrity she's an artist"

"Ahh I see and those paintings in your room?"

Jackson smirked. "No but if she had her way she'd take them down and put hers up, god forbid I do anything to ruin her reputation"

"But it's your life Jackson; it's as simple as that"

"I know...my life significantly brightened when I first saw you, I know it sounds silly"

"It doesn't I just don't understand, you weren't to know we'd talk"

"I did, because I made sure I'd find you" Jackson told him honestly.

Aaron sighed, the difficulty of the situation now apparent. "I may be many things but I'm not one for breaking up a family" he screwed up his face. "What the hell am I talking about we just met today. Sorry" he apologised. "Getting way ahead of myself there"

"No, it's fine" he smiled. "We're just two men who have found an attraction and the situation is awkward anyway"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, but while we're on this ship together we can be friends? No harm in that"

"Yeah" Jackson grinned. "Course we can" he swallowed hard, he'd basically told him nothing was going to happen in not so many words and he didn't mean it, he really didn't. What did he do now?

"Good" Aaron smiled as he stood up, more steadily now, the fresh air had helped a bit. "I better get going though"

"Yeah sure" Jackson smiled. "Want me to walk you back?"

"No, no I'll be fine" Aaron reassured him and started to walk away

"Okay good night"

Aaron turned back as he walked and smiled at him one last time before walking out of view.

Jackson sighed and got to his feet and walked away only to see his mother emerging from behind a large pillar. He stopped dead in his tracks.

Hazel looked at him disgusted. "What the hell was that about?"

"You shouldn't be listening, hell! You shouldn't even be following me"

"Well I found it a bit unusual that you couldn't sleep, you can always sleep Jackson"

He sighed and looked away.

"But now I know why – that boy, well...if you can call him that"

"He's a man"

"Pfft okay so I take it he's encouraging this so called homosexuality is he? And what about him? Does he think it's normal? Are his friends proud or disgusted?"

"How can you even say these things?" Jackson spat angrily. "He does think its normal as a matter of fact, it's a part of who he is, just like it is with me! And as for your last question..." he walked closer to her. "If a person is gay then it shouldn't matter to their loved ones, friends, whoever they choose to tell and do you know why? Because they love that person"

"I do love you!"

Jackson was pleased the message had been heard and received.

"This is why I'm doing what I am, you haven't been right for a while, it didn't take me long to figure it out Jackson but it's wrong in the eyes of society"

"Oh there's that word again"

"But it's true!"

"Yes!" Jackson raised his voice back at her. "It might well be true, I'm aware of it, so is he! But I don't give a damn if it's wrong I'd rather be happy and loved-" he was cut off.

"Samantha does love you"

Jackson just looked at her, a blank expression on his face. "...And to love someone back" he snapped, then attempted to walk past her but she grabbed his arm tightly to stop him.

"You can't do this Jackson, it's just a phase and it'll go in time, Samantha is a wonderful girl and you know it, you love her, you obviously told her you did otherwise you wouldn't be getting married"

"Well" his eyes bore into her. "What can I say _mother _it's not all it cracked up to be. I'm gay mum, the sooner you get it into your head the better. I'm not marrying Samantha, and you cannot make me"

"Just watch me" she said angrily.

Jackson pulled his arm from her grasp harshly and walked away quickly. He breathed heavily on the way back to his room, seething from the encounter with his mum. Where had his bravery come from he wondered, he wouldn't have done that before. It didn't take him long until he had his answer – Aaron. Aaron was the reason why. Now, Jackson just had to loosen himself from the tangled web he was in and carry out his words, and not marrying Samantha. He felt bad, they'd known each other a long time, once upon a time he thought it was love but he soon realized he preferred the same sex but by then it was too late, the pretence started and now, a few years later he was beginning to get tired of it, and his reaction toward his mother only just proved that and reiterated to himself how much he wanted out of it all. And he would get out; he'd take what was to come from the two women though. Why couldn't she just accept her son was gay?

* * *

TBC...


	5. Then They'll Be

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"...Then They'll be"

* * *

Jackson stirred and his eyes opened slowly; he felt Samantha's arm over his naked upper half she was still asleep. Jackson rubbed his eyes and just lay looking up at the ceiling and remembered vividly, the night before as Samantha began to wake.

"Morning" she smiled and lifted up onto her elbow and kissed his lips softly.

Jackson smiled, putting it on obviously. That was the last thing he wanted, he wished those lips were Aaron's. "Morning"

"What are your plans for today?" she asked.

Jackson shrugged and let out a sigh. "Dunno, you?"

"I think I'm going with your mother to the parisien cafe for breakfast, come if you'd like?" she asked with a smile.

"Uh, no" Jackson frowned. "I'd rather not"

Samantha sighed, slight put back by her fiancés attitude. "Well what else are you going to do?"

"It doesn't really matter does it?"

"Well, yes it does, I'm interested in what my husband to be might get up to today"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "I might go for a swim"

"Oh that's funny" she said sarcastically.

"No, there's a pool onboard"

"Oh, I didn't know that"

"Well you do now" Jackson told her as he sat up and got out of bed putting his dressing gown around him.

"I forgot to tell you yesterday when we were at lunch there was this adorable little girl and it got me thinking...we should start a family, I'd love a daughter or son with your eyes"

"No" he basically ended the conversation with his sharp reply.

"What?" she frowned as she sat up in bed.

"I don't want too, well...not yet, anyway"

"Oh well your tune has changed Jackson" she told him as she got out of bed herself. "We used to talk about this"

"Yes we did but right now I don't want them"

Samantha raised her eyebrows at him and walked towards him and passed him to the bedroom door, obviously put out by his change of heart. "Have a good day" she told him and closed the door behind him.

Jackson shook his head as he bit his lip, this was getting ridiculous.

Below decks Aaron sat on the edge of his bed, his head hunched down so he didn't hit it off the metal railing above him. His head pounded and he felt rough and sick to the stomach. Momentarily the bed moved as Adam woke, seconds later he jumped down and stood looking at Aaron cradling his head in his hands. He chuckled. "Well I'm fine this morning" he grinned.

Aaron looked up shaking his head. "Oh don't" he groaned as Aaron pulled on his clothes.

"So" he said as he sat beside him. "What'd you get up to after I left?"

It was now or never and Aaron felt it. "I erm...I..." he sighed.

"Spit it out mate" Adam encouraged with a chuckle.

"I was with another man" Aaron declared quietly.

Adam frowned; there was something in Aaron's eyes as he said that, either he was over thinking or... "Ohh" his eyes widened. "Y-You mean?"

Aaron just nodded. "I'm gay"

"Okay" Adam nodded. "Well I don't mind..." Aaron just smiled. "Oh my god you devil!" Adam laughed. "Yesterday when I told you to look at that woman and you did..."

"Only" Aaron smirked. "I wasn't looking at her"

"Hmm, well he was a good looking man I suppose, not that I'm...ya know"

Aaron knew that. "I was with him last night, w-we haven't done anything but I've come from being someone who doesn't believe in love, that it can even exist for me anyway to actually feeling so strongly about this person that it could be love, it's strange"

"But the woman Aaron?" he asked, concern filled his tone as the difficulties of Aaron's situation began to be realised.

"Yeah, I know don't remind me" he sighed. "He isn't happy, he is gay too but those first class snobs you know what they're like, status, celebrity, Jackson, that's his name...if he does anything, it can ruin his family, their reputation and I-I dunno if I could be responsible for that"

"Listen mate you wouldn't be responsible for it, if Jackson likes you as much as he says he does then he'll do something about it"

Aaron scoffed. "I don't think so, last night he kinda put a dampener on things, said it was awkward, so I asked about being friends and he agreed, don't know why I was being stupid, this journey won't last too long anyway, just getting swooped up in his attractiveness, this can't happen"

Adam just smiled. "What do you want to happen?"

"Life is never that simple and you know it"

Adam nodded; he had to agree with that. "But there are times when it can be. Mate listen, if you want Jackson then bloody get him, what choice he makes is up to him and the consequences are down to him not you"

Aaron got up. "I'll think about it. I'm going to our oh so posh smoking room, hair of the dog and all that, bit of a smoke"

Adam nodded and watched Aaron open the door to their cabin. "Oh mate..." Aaron looked back at him. "I appreciate you telling me, I understand how hard it is, especially the way the world is at the minute, I'm pleased you felt you could trust me and you can"

Aaron nodded and grinned back at him before leaving.

/

Jackson was dressed and walked out into the lounge then out into their private promenade, the windows were open allowing the fresh air inside, it was a bright day, cold though. His mum was sat at a table drinking tea served to her by their steward.

Hazel just looked at him and lowered her tea cup down onto the saucer; it clinked as they made contact. She sighed. "Sit down Jackson"

Jackson shook his head and started to turn away.

"Please" she urged him.

Jackson rolled his eyes and walked to the table and sat opposite her, eyeing her warily as he lifted the tea pot up and filled an empty cup. His mum was the head of the family, his father had left them many years ago and she was a force to be reckoned with and he had never tried not to until last night. This was an unusual experience.

"Last night, I-I want to apologise"

"Oh mum save it, I know what you're going to say, you know what I'm going to say, it's all going to go round in a circle I' am who I' am mum and I couldn't give a stuff about society or reputation, I'd rather be happy and you know why I'm not" he was angry and he spoke through gritted teeth as he leaned over the table slightly towards her. "I'm not marrying her, I feel bad course I do but this, this is not happening anymore"

"And what?" she chuckled. "You're going to go off with him?" she asked, disgusted.

"Why the hell not? I really like him"

"Well you've just dug your own grave" she told him.

Jackson nodded. "Maybe so... and I'll lie in it...with him" he flashed a smile and took a sip of his tea.

Hazel sighed and nodded. "Alright, if that's the way you want it..."

"Yeah, I do...like I said last night you should love me no matter what...but I know that won't happen you're too concerned about your status"

"I do love you Jackson"

"Well which is it then?"

"You are making me choose?" she asked sharply.

"No it was a simple question but the fact you jumped down my throat straight away gives me your answer" he began to stand.

"It isn't like that!" she raised her voice.

"But it is!" he yelled. "I don't care how people think of it, it's not disgusting not to me...its love, love has been around since the beginning of everything and you want to deny me that?"

"With a man yes"

Jackson sighed. "So small minded its unreal" he told her then stormed out, slamming every door on his way out to the corridor. He rested against the wall outside their room, clearly disturbed by their talk.

"Good morning Jackson" a fellow passenger greeted him.

Jackson looked up and smiled at him. "Good morning Mr Astor"

"Is everything alright? You seem unsettled"

"Oh erm" he smiled again. "Yes just not feeling too good today"

"Rest up son" he told him with a grin and carried on walking. Jackson watched as the richest man on board left.

Hours later Aaron was still in the third class smoking room, several people were still there, a few had come and gone in the time he'd been there. He was sat with a few empty pint glasses, there had been more empties but he'd cleared them away. He took a drag of his cigarette and picked up his glass, he was feeling quite drunk but not as bad as the previous night, not yet anyway. He caught sight of a woman entering, her clothes immediately telling him she didn't belong there, she belonged up in first and she clearly didn't like the 'inn' smell that came with the room as she was pulling her nose up at it in disgust. He scrunched his face and returned his attentions elsewhere.

"I believe me and you need to have words" she stepped as she stood opposite the relaxed, seemingly drunken boy.

Aaron didn't look up. "I don't know who you are, but I don't know me, you've got the wrong person we don't need to have words"

Hazel smirked. "Oh believe me, we do" she pulled out the chair and sat down causing Aaron to look at her.

Why was the posh woman talking to him? He scowled. "And why's that?" he asked curiously as he placed the cigarette in his mouth and took another drag and blew it out, instantly realising she didn't like it and started waving her hand to disperse the smoke.

"Because" she sighed. "I believe you and my son..."

"Oh Jackson" Aaron smiled.

"If I were you, I'd wipe that smile off my face"

Aaron chuckled. "Come to warn me off then?"

"Indeed I have, how much will it take? How much will it take for a sewer rat such as yourself to leave him alone"

Aaron looked around the room. "If I were you I'd be careful what you're saying...in my part of the ship" he grinned.

"How much will it take?"

Aaron laughed. "You know you must really hate your son"

"I beg your pardon!" she exclaimed.

"He isn't happy and he's being forced into marriage with a woman, it must be awful for him"

Hazel sighed; she wasn't getting into this with him. "How much?"

"Nothing will make me leave him alone, I like your son and he deserves to be liked and much more"

"He is"

"No" Aaron shook his head. "Not on that level, not with a woman, a man and this may sound stupid but I think already I'm in love with your son, what do they say? Oh yeah, love at first sight"

"That is ridiculous"

Aaron shrugged. "Maybe, but I won't leave him alone, hell I'm not even doing anything, if he wants me, he'll do something about it, and let me tell you when he does, I'm not letting him go"

Hazel scoffed. "He's done this before you know" it was a lie.

"What do you mean?"

"Led men on, pretends he likes them..." she shrugged. "How he gets his kicks I suppose, then at the last minute he drops them, I'm afraid you're just another in a small line of men...this is just a phase he's going through" she was very convincing but she was disturbed at the lengths she would go to, to keep her family together.

Aaron frowned, affected by what she had just told him and tried his best not to show it.

Hazel smiled; she noticed his confidence and body language falter slightly. "If I were you, I'd leave him alone, don't get involved"

"A-And like _I _said" he took a drag on his cigarette "When he comes...I'm not letting go" he blew the smoke in her face.

She coughed and looked away."We'll see" she told him and got to her feet and quickly left. She left Aaron reeling from their encounter, now he was in two minds about the man he loved, yeah he loved him, and everything just got a whole lot more complicated.

Jackson was wandering the ship in hope of finding Aaron but it was huge, it was like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Instead of searching the boat deck Jackson went back inside and made his way quickly to third class. He walked quickly down a stairway and the lower he ventured down, the contrast between all classes was highlighted, it wasn't fair. He was now in third class and he felt out of his depth, he stuck out like a sore thumb but he had to put that passed him and find Aaron. Someone walked towards him who looked familiar; the young man was about to walk by him but Jackson stopped him. "Err excuse me? A-are you that lad who was with Aaron yesterday"

"OH it's you!" Adam grinned.

Jackson leaned in. "You know?" he whispered.

"Oh yeah, don't worry you can trust me" he smiled. "I'm Adam by the way"

"Jackson" he replied smiling. "Do you know where I can find him?"

"He said he was going to the smoking room, I haven't known him long but the impression I get is he's brooding...he's really into you mate, he's a good lad"

"Yeah" Jackson smiled. "I know...and when you say brooding...what's wrong?"

Adam sighed. "I think you better talk to him yourself"

"Point me in the direction?" he asked.

"Oh erm, along this corridor, left, up the stairway along the corridor and you'll come to large wooden doors on your right" he smiled. "Good luck"

Jackson nodded. "Cheers" he thanked him as he headed off in the directions he'd given.

Adam was impressed, his first experience with someone of such stature as him was a pleasant one, and then he remembered his own mum's words. _Never judge a book by its cover. _

Arriving at the smoking room minutes later Jackson looked around and saw him instantly, he looked drunk but still ever so sexy. He smiled and walked over to him, concerned however as to what was wrong. He sat down without invitation and they both caught each other's eyes.

Aaron froze, then frowned and started to get up.

Now Jackson was worried. "What's wrong?" he asked but Aaron started walking away. He got up and followed, soon ending up back out in the corridor; Aaron wasn't letting up though he wasn't saying a word and charged through the corridors, down the stairs Jackson walked up.

"What did I do?" Jackson called after him as he kept up closely behind him.

"Sending your mother here, nice!" he congratulated him. "I must say...she's a bitch!"

"Yeah I know" Jackson frowned. "But I didn't send her!"

Aaron didn't stop and both of them carried on along more corridors and more stairs. "Yeah okay! Stringing me along aswell Jackson, nice one...I get it!" he didn't care who heard him. "Bit of fresh young meat" he scoffed. "Well you're not getting it!"

Jackson could tell he was working himself up more and more with each word. "A-Aaron where the hell are you going? Please just calm down!"

"You can't tell me what to do; I'm not being a pawn in your little game!"

"What! There is no game, I don't string anyone along"

"Well according to your mum!"

"Stuff what she says!" Jackson yelled. They were walking lower into the ship. "Aaron where the hell are you going?"

"I don't know!" he yelled as he saw a door up ahead in the empty corridor and as he got to it he opened it and slammed it shut and locked it, it was just a utility cupboard.

Jackson sighed and rested his head against the door. "Aaron, please...she's trying to scare you away"

"Well it's working!" he growled in reply.

"Just open the door and we can talk, please" he spoke softly hoping he would. Seconds later he heard him undoing the lock and he stepped back away from the door and it began to open.

"Talk then" he sulked, he'd calmed down now, it didn't take him long but he knew why, he loved him.

"Alright, look listen to me...whatever my mum did was not because I told her too, and whatever she said isn't true, I've been honest with you Aaron..."

"Yeah..." he cleared his throat. "Alright"

"Now...be honest with me" Jackson told him.

Aaron sighed. "Last night when you agreed to being friends...my heart sank..." he shrugged. "I don't want to be your friend, the question just came out...I want to be more than your friend, I don't care about the consequences I really don't..." Aaron finally looked at him. "This is going to sound stupid but you have to know... call me crazy, a fool...whatever I don't care" he reached out and grabbed his suit jacket in his hands and looked at it then back up into his eyes. "I'm crazy about you...I-I love you Jackson"

Jackson felt the sting of tears in his eyes and he quickly grabbed him and pushed him up against the wall and gently at first kissed him, the passion, fire and intensity grew with each brush of the lips. Aaron kissed back with equal force and passion and wrapped his arms around his neck, feeling him close; the hardness of his toned body could be felt even through his suit. When the kiss ended they rested their heads against one another's. "I'm going to tell her, S-Samantha, I'm not marrying her...you make me feel alive Aaron"

Aaron nodded. "And I'll be by your side"

"Do you know what you're getting into?"

Aaron shook his head. "No all I know is I want you, but don't do this unless you're sure"

"I'm sure" Jackson replied and pulled away, smiling at Aaron. "I love you too" he laughed, the enormity of those words hit him, he was free.

"Wow..." Aaron breathed. "Okay...we can get through this"

Jackson nodded, scared about the reactions but confident he and Aaron would be happy together.

* * *

TBC...


	6. Fear

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"Fear"

* * *

Twenty four hours had not passed since his first kiss with Jackson but a new day had dawned. Aaron walked along the deck, it was a cloudy day and all he could think about was that kiss, that very special kiss with the man he found himself loving; he would never forget that moment, never.

However as he let out a heavy sigh as he looked out at the ocean Aaron was still very aware of the difficulties surrounding a possible relationship with Jackson. His mother for one was a major problem and of course Samantha, the woman Jackson was close to marrying, even despite his promise to leave her she was still under the impression they were going to live their lives together and Aaron couldn't help but feel bad, despite it being Jackson's choice.

Moments later Aaron's attentions were diverted elsewhere to what seemed to be a heated discussion on one of the upper decks; a man seemed to harassing a first class passenger. Aaron frowned and quickly made his way up. Once there he immediately recognised the woman – Samantha. He didn't know what to do, but he was there he couldn't not help her. "Excuse me? Is he bothering you?"Aaron asked as he looked between both of them.

Samantha looked Aaron up and down and she seemed disgusted at the sight. Aaron ignored her. "Yes he is" she replied apprehensively.

Aaron nodded then looked at the man, who was a third class passenger such as himself but he was more unkempt. "Move it now" he warned him.

The man looked at Aaron once again he sighed and shook his head as he walked away clearly angry by the young man's intrusion. "And don't come back" he added, calling after the man.

Samantha stood still confused by the events that had passed. "Never in a million years would I have thought someone- I-I mean a third class passenger would help me"

"Well we're not all bad" as he said that, he swallowed hard realising the contradiction because when he and Jackson are out in the open he will be seen as a bad one.

"Hmm" she raised an eyebrow. "Maybe not, but I'm afraid one man can't change my opinion"

Aaron nodded. "I understand...Well then I better get going" he said before turning to walk away. "You're welcome by the way" he told her.

Samantha watched as the young man walked off. "Oh- wait!" Aaron stopped and faced her again. "Yes, of course thank you – please this must not get back to my fiancé if you ever come across him, highly unlikely but still" she nodded and Aaron frowned, he already knew him well enough, and she had no idea, the bad feeling he had was slowly getting worse. "U-Unless...to thank you" she sighed, fighting her thoughts, her strong opinions on class. "You could join us for lunch at midday, I'm sure my fiancé would be happy to know you rescued me from the unwanted hands of that man"

_Oh god _he thought, he wanted the deck to open up and swallow him. What could he do? It wasn't like he'd be doing anything anyway and he'd get to see Jackson. He wasn't thinking about anything else but seeing him and he smiled and nodded. "If you're sure?"

"Yes" she nodded but her expressions defied her words, she seemed nervous probably worried what people may think.

"Okay, where do I need to be?" he asked.

"First Class lounge twelve p.m. sharp" she told him. "And if you have any better clothing..." she inferred.

"I'll see what I can find" he smiled. "See you later" he said with a smile and walked off. Of course he had something to better to wear, the suit Jackson gave him to wear on the tour of the ship was still in his possession; he'd wear that.

/

"You kissed him?" Adam asked in complete shock.

Aaron stood almost naked in their cabin, his underwear the only covering on his body. He rolled his eyes as he took the suit off from the hangar. "Yes"

"Alright, listen I'm happy for you I' am but this is gunna end badly"

Aaron shot a look at him quickly. "It won't"

"But you are aware of the problems you two have before you can even start being together properly?"

"Yes" Aaron hissed. "His mum and fiancé, I know, we both do"

"Then explain to me why the hell you're going for lunch with them all?" Adam was aggressive toward him but he cared, and believed he was making things harder for him and Jackson by going to lunch.

Aaron sighed as he pulled on the black trousers, trousers that Jackson's legs could slip into just as easily, he shuddered slightly at the thought it was an instant turn on. "I want to see him, is that such a bad thing?" he asked.

"No, but after what you said about his mum Aaron..." Adam stopped and bit his tongue, thinking about what he was going to say. "She seems to me to be a woman who has the means to do anything she has to, to keep her family together and i-i-" he stuttered, hating the words that were about to come out of his mouth. "...If that means hurting you then...then I wouldn't put it past her"

Aaron scoffed.

"Don't do that" Adam told him with a frown.

Aaron chuckled. "What? Listen I know you're concerned and that you care but I'll be alright" he smiled at his friend.

"Really?" Adam asked in a softer tone.

"Yes, I promise" he smiled at him.

Adam nodded. "Alright, get dressed then" he told him and sat down in the chair up by the wall.

Aaron finished getting dressed into the suit and looked himself over in the small mirror before leaving the room and heading up to first class.

/

Aaron approached the dining saloon, he remembered passing it on the tour. He took a breath as he approached the doors, he held out his hand to push it open but the doors opened for him by stewards standing on the other side. He smiled at them and nodded his head, something he'd noticed a lot of people doing. He looked at the clock on the wall it was just past twelve. He looked around the room and soon found the group and headed over, he could hear Hazel talking, something about the married life and how she hoped it would be better for them than it was for her. He caught Samantha's eye and she looked surprised, shocked even probably by his sudden change in appearance. Strange he thought how clothing and how it was worn could possibly alter a person's opinion, Aaron couldn't be sure but he guessed she was quite intrigued by the look of him, something he did not expect, nor wanted of course.

"Oh!" she called out and chuckled as she began to stand. "I almost forgot we have a guest for lunch this afternoon" she held out her arm and Jackson and Hazel both looked in the direction and saw him.

Hazel eyed him hatefully.

Jackson's jaw dropped, utterly stunned by this surprising revelation.

"Hi" Aaron said with a smile then his smile faded when he looked at Hazel. "I'm Aaron" he introduced himself, going along with the fact that neither of them knew who each other was.

"Nice to meet you" Jackson said with a smirk, it was a good job Samantha couldn't see. But Hazel had and if looks could kill, both men would be dead.

Aaron nodded. "You too" he then stepped toward Hazel but passed her and took his seat at the round table.

"Yes, Aaron was of some assistance to me today, I thought to thank him I'd invite him to dinner and..." she smiled at Aaron. "The wardrobe is definitely an improvement, looks like a suit Jackson has"

Hazel almost choked on her drink.

"Well then we must have good taste" Aaron was enjoying this more than he should be but he couldn't help it. He looked across at Jackson; those eyes, those damn eyes, heavenly.

Jackson smiled. "Well more the merrier"

"It isn't stolen in case you-"

"Oh no of course" Hazel put on a smile. "Why would we think that?"

"Well I don't exactly look like a first class passenger now do I?" he asked, still playing along.

Hazel cleared her throat. "No. I don't suppose you do, but you're welcome here, might I ask how you aided Samantha?"

"Oh erm, a man was harassing her; I heard a heated discussion she seemed to be distressed, I made him leave"

"You didn't say anything" Jackson told her.

"I know darling but it was dealt with, nothing to worry about now"

Jackson nodded. "Well, shall we all eat?" he asked.

A while later after a rather filling lunch they all still remained at the table chatting much to Hazel's distaste. But she had had enough. "If you'll all excuse me I'm going to retire to our room" she said as she stood, Jackson stood as Hazel left the table.

"Would you like me to walk you?" he asked.

"No of course not don't be silly" she replied, gave a look to Aaron; one that sent shivers down his spine.

Jackson nodded and sat back down.

"So Aaron where did you grow up?" Hazel heard Samantha asked as she walked away. Words could not describe how livid she was, how dare he?

As more time went on the conversation continued. "Of course we will have children but he sprung a surprise on me the other day and said he wasn't ready" Samantha was chatting as if she and Aaron were the best of friends and he now started to feel quite uncomfortable and angered by the discussions that were taking place.

"I'm sure he'll be ready one day" Aaron forced a smile.

"I hope so, I mean who wouldn't have a child with him" she turned to Jackson with a loving smile. "He's beautiful"

Aaron coughed. "I-I don't think you should be saying these things to me"

"Why not?" she asked in shock. "Were all friends here" she stated.

Aaron's smile began to fade but he nodded in response. He was angry, it was starting – pure jealousy that's what it was and he couldn't stop it, he'd made a mistake – Adam was right.

"And we'll have a big house and spend the rest of our lives together" she carried on with a smile.

"It will be amazing I'm sure" Aaron told her and then looked at Jackson.

Jackson frowned; he'd seen that look the day before when Aaron stormed out of the third class smoking room when he'd arrived to speak to him. Only this time he knew what was wrong.

"A-Are you with anyone?" Samantha asked.

"Erm" he took a deep breath and shook his head as he looked down at his hands as he fiddled with the edge of the table cloth. "No" he answered as he looked up. "Doubt I'll ever be" he answered honestly, well to him that was the way he felt in that moment.

"No you will be, a handsome man like you" she smiled.

Jackson rolled his eyes, her tune had suddenly changed.

"Nah" Aaron replied again. "No point, just full of disappointment and second guessing" he looked at Jackson as he spoke.

"Now with that attitude you will get nowhere" she chuckled.

"Maybe" Aaron replied quietly. "I better be getting back" he told them.

Jackson watched him, disheartened by his words he knew they were aimed at him and their situation. Aaron looked so sad and it was killing him.

"Thankyou for lunch and inviting me in the first place"

Samantha nodded. "You could stay, i-if I offended you I didn't mean to really"

"No, you didn't" he reassured. "I just realised I had to be somewhere"

"Well enjoy the rest of your day and I hope our paths cross again"

Aaron smiled and nodded, and gave another look at Jackson. Aaron seemed frozen on the spot for a second, he was contemplating everything. He wanted Jackson so much but Hazel's apparent hatred towards them and the issue of Samantha and then all the talk of babies and a house to live happily in. He wanted that a home for him and Jackson to be happy together in, it was quickly becoming apparent to him that it wasn't going to happen. He didn't know it yet but he was scared, the fear causing his feelings to reject Jackson and use anything that was said to clarify the reasons behind the rejection. He was stood still, staring for a split second before walking away.

Samantha watched him go with a smile. "Such a lovely man, I really shouldn't judge a book by its cover" she mused.

"Yeah...he is" Jackson was watching too. He sighed and turned back to her. "And you really shouldn't"

Samantha nodded, she knew she shouldn't and would try and change that aspect of herself, more so for Jackson, she knew he disliked people degrading others because of who they were or how much money they had and from that conversation and the time spent with a man from the lower class it showed her that everyone was the same.

/

Hours passed and night had fallen. Aaron was sat on the floor at the very front of the bow, his arms were wrapped around the railing and his legs dangled over the edge. He felt low and he let out a heavy sigh as he rested his chin on his arms and his forehead rested against the higher railing.

"Wondered where you were" Adam's voice filled the air and Aaron jumped slightly.

"I think you were right" he said miserably.

Adam quickly sat down beside him. "What happened?"

"His fiancé was taking about babies and a big house and I just" he sighed. "I dunno I think it just hit home what we were actually doing"

"Were?" Adam asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, I'm not doing it anymore, he said he would tell her and he hasn't it was amusing at first winding up his mum but I just think I'm done" he answered with a shrug.

"Oh mate I'm sorry"

"Nah" Aaron replied as tears ran down his face, thankful that the darkness was too much for Adam to see them. "Don't be" he told him.

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, just leave it now...the kiss...the moment was the best I've experienced in my entire life and I'll take that with me"

"Okay mate" Adam replied softly. "You love him don't you?"

Aaron let out a sniffle, the first indication to Adam as to how upset he actually was.

Adam placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed. No words were needed. He had his answer. "I'll leave you for a bit alright but just come back to the cabin when you're ready"

Aaron nodded. "I will" he said as he wiped his eyes and nose.

Adam got up and left him too it. It was another twenty minutes before Aaron decided to move. He was so cold; a hint of iciness filled the air. He rubbed his hands together as he walked back to the entrance to inside. Stairways, he was fed up of them now, he smirked at his thought and definitely now much warmer than he was outside. Aaron reached the stairway that would take him down to the corridor where his cabin was situated. When he reached the bottom he turned and walked along, he moved aside to allow a man passed him but he was took by surprise when the man pushed him into the wall and landed a punch on his face, Aaron grunted and struggled. "W-What the hell Aargh!" he yelled, but more punches came and impacted his face, he could taste blood.

"I've been waiting for you" the attacker told him as he slammed his fist into him again.

Aaron's brow was lined with sweat and his face was red and bloodied, his nose ran like a river and he was disorientated. He looked up at the man, confusion set among his face. The attacker chuckled. "It's amazing the things people – I will do for money"

Aaron was sat down against the wall of the corridor, of course no one had heard his cries, and everyone seemed to keep themselves to themselves, typical. "Money?" Aaron questioned.

The attacker ignored him and ran off.

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes for a split second before pulling himself up. His face was stinging badly and he couldn't comprehend the man's words, not yet anyway.

Aaron pushed open the door to his cabin when he got to it and walked in. Adam immediately jumped up when he saw the state of him. "Oh god what the hell Aaron?"

"I-I dunno I just walked down here and he was walking the other way but he pushed me against the wall and beat me...you not hear me?"

"No" Adam frowned. "If I'd heard something I'd have been straight out there..."

"J-Just help me cleanup"

"Yeah c-course" he helped Aaron along to the sink then pulled the chair up behind him and sat him down. Adam knew what had happened here, just as he had feared but he wasn't sure if Aaron had made the connection. He'd wait till morning then bring it up.

"Thanks" Aaron said.

"Anytime mate, now let's get this face sorted..." he looked at him, obviously worried for him. This wasn't fair.

* * *

TBC...


	7. The Sting

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"The Sting"

* * *

Aaron woke the next morning to an overwhelming sick feeling and he got out of bed quickly and leaned over the sink that was close to the beds and vomited badly. Adam was woken by Aaron and he leaned up quickly and saw what was happening and as quickly as he could he got down from the top bunk and was behind him rubbing his back, he let out a deep sigh, Aaron didn't deserve this.

Jackson was sat around the breakfast table in the dining saloon with his mum and Samantha. His mood however was not a happy one. The women were looking over the menu; Jackson was not interested in the slightest. He let out a sigh. "What's the date?" he asked.

Hazel frowned and looked across at him. "April fourteenth why?" she asked.

Jackson shrugged. "Just wondering, not long till we get to New York now"

"No it shouldn't be, I overheard Captain Smith talking to Mr. Ismay"

Jackson's eyebrows propped up, now interested. Ismay was the managing director of the ship building company he worked for.

"The captain has apparently ordered the last boilers to be lit"

Confusion stuck him. "Is he serious?" Jackson asked.

"Why?" Hazel replied.

"I overheard something about ice warnings that's all" he responded.

"Are you sure it came from a reputable source? For all you know son it could be rumour, and anyway this ship is unsinkable"

"Hmm..." Jackson sounded. "It's only steel mother"

Samantha rolled her eyes at her fiancés technical reply one that only a ship builder would say. "Excuse me" She told them as she got up and left the table leaving Hazel and Jackson alone.

The atmosphere now changed and it could be cut with a knife. "So..." Hazel began.

Jackson just looked at her as if she was something he had stepped in. "What now?"

"Let's talk about Aaron"

Jackson sighed. "I don't think I want to discuss him with you, I love him and even you can't ruin that"

Hazel just smirked and backed off.

"I'm not marrying Samantha mum, and I won't be joining you in New York either"

"Excuse me?" she asked sharply.

"Oh come on you knew that already, obviously I will be in New York, but not with you two, and don't worry mother" he smiled. "Your reputation will be intact; no one will have to know that your only child is gay"

Hazel sat still, her expression unwavering. "No they won't but if you do this, you'll be dead to me"

Jackson scoffed. "And to me, you already are. You are not what a mother should be and I feel sorry for you I really do, now" he pushed his chair back harshly and stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I have better things to be doing with my day than spending it with people I'd rather not be around"

"Jackson, if you..."

"Yeah, I know if I do this you just said...I'll see you later"

/

"Aaron mate..." Adam sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "You have to report this"

Aaron began to chuckle as he lowered himself down into the chair. "And they'll find him will they? I doubt it Adam...there are thousands on board this ship"

Adam sighed. "I-I'm just trying to help mate"

"Yeah I know you are"

"Have you made the connection yet?"

Aaron frowned. "Connection?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah last night you said the guy said something about money...come on even I know who is behind this, you love the son of a first class bitch who is marrying a woman, she doesn't like that, hates the idea..."

Aaron sighed. "I tried not to think about it but it had to be Hazel I mean...she has a motive to do it and right now I don't blame her"

"Are you serious?" Adam asked with a raised voice.

"J-Just listen...I don't blame her because I'm ruining her family, he's her only child Adam, and I'd be making it impossible for them to be around each other, like you said she hates the thought of two men...and I don't blame her cause I deserved it, marching up to lunch what the hell was I trying to do? It just made me feel worse but she got what she wanted because I'm not going there, and he hasn't told Samantha yet, I don't think he would have either"

"I' am sorry Aaron" absolute sympathy poured from Adam.

Aaron shrugged. "Don't be" he smiled.

"How are you feeling?"

"A bit sore, it's not as bad as it looks"

Adam chuckled. "You're not a very good liar are ya?"

Aaron smirked and shook his head. "It hurts like hell actually" he replied now giving an honest answer.

"It will for a while" Adam told him as they were interrupted by the cabin door being knocked.

"Who'll that be?" Aaron asked quietly. "No one ever knocks on here"

Adam was equally as confused as Aaron was. He shrugged and went to answer it. As he pulled the door open Aaron turned away and rested his swollen eyes for a minute or two, well that was the plan until he heard that voice but he didn't turn around.

"Is he in there?" Jackson asked.

"What do you care?" Adam spat angrily.

Jackson frowned. "What do you mean? Of course I care"

"Obviously" he sighed.

"Look, I need to see him...he might have given up but I haven't"

Adam scoffed; he didn't believe a word he said. "When I first saw you, I told you he was a good lad and he really, really is...its very rare these days if you ask me and your lot try and ruin him!"

Jackson's frown deepened in complete confusion. "He's more than good, let me in I need to see him" he told him as he tried pushing his way in.

"Adam!" Aaron called out. "Let him in"

"You sure?"

"Yes, go and make yourself scarce"

"Alright" Adam backed down and grabbed his jacket and opened the door wider and walked out, allowing Jackson entry.

Jackson was greeted by Aaron's back toward him. He stood still and waited to see if he'd turn, but it wasn't happening. He cleared his throat. "Yesterday at lunch, I-I know what it did to you Aaron and you have to know that I don't intend on living the life Samantha has planned"

"It doesn't matter Jackson"

"Yes it does because whether you like it right now or not, regardless of this fucked up situation I love you" he spoke quickly the words believable as they left his mouth.

Aaron listened and was taken aback by his choice of language. "I-I never heard you swear before"

"I'm quickly losing my grip here Aaron and this is going to blow up right in our faces...us, me and you god I want it I really do"

"Well tell your mother that again because she doesn't seem to be coping with it very well..."

"W-what?"

Aaron slowly turned revealing his facial injuries to Jackson. He stepped back in shock, swallowing hard as he hit the wall. "My god, m-my mother may be many thin-"

Aaron scowled and stood quickly. "What!" he demanded. "You don't think she's capable of this? Well Jackson she is! She didn't personally do this but I know for a fact the person who did this was given money"

Jackson sighed. "I-I can't believe this"

"Well I don't have any reason to lie, I don't have any enemies on this ship except her, she did this I know it"

"She wouldn't"

Aaron grabbed Jackson by the shoulders. "Look at my face Jackson" he urged through gritted teeth. "We aren't doing this anymore, I know now that you don't have the balls to tell Samantha, or you would have done it ages ago"

"No Aaron please"

"No, I didn't get involved with you to get these cuts and bruises from someone who was paid to do it by a woman who can't comprehend one of the simplest things, love. Whether it is man and a woman, two women or two men, like us...they're killing you Jackson, slowly very, very slowly and you will never be free unless you take the leap" he sighed.

"Aaron I-I love you...I..." he said as he reached to touch his face but stopped an inch or two away from the bruising. "I-I never meant for this to happen...I believe you I just never thought"

"She'd stoop so low?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah"

"It's done now and you can leave"

"What? No...Aa-"

"Just go Jackson...this hurts as it is..."

"I don't want you to be hurting, I want you with me"

"You have a funny way of showing it!" Aaron barked.

"Okay..." Jackson's eyes widened, for the first time realising how close but yet so far away his dreams were. He had to do something. "I-I'll tell her" he quickly told him as he turned to the door. "I can't lose you; I'm telling her...you said we'd face it together..."

"And I meant it too" Aaron reiterated as he stood with folded arms just watching Jackson go off, he had no hopes of Jackson returning and he lowered himself down onto his bed and lay down.

A while later Jackson walked back into his cabin. He was alone and he walked over to the promenade area and stood looking out at the ocean. It was a bright sunny day, he hadn't been out on deck yet, so many things preoccupied him. He turned and reached for a bottle of champagne that was stood in the ice box, there was always one on hand, their steward made sure of it. He pulled out the cork and took a swig from the bottle. He let out a hefty sigh as the cold fizzy liquid was swallowed, he wiped his mouth and walked back into the lounge and sat on the sofa, now he just had to wait for Samantha to return. He was doing this, no matter how scared he was, his love for Aaron had to outweigh the fear and the prize at the end of it was something more precious, a man who had his love and the love was returned.

It felt like an eternity before Samantha returned. Jackson sat up on the edge of the sofa and watched her close the door behind her. "Hi" she smiled.

"Hi" Jackson replied bluntly.

"Those Turkish baths are amazing you have to try them" she complimented.

Jackson smiled. "Maybe, I err..."

"What is it Jackson?" she asked.

Jackson frowned; this was harder than he thought. "We need to...uhh..." He sighed.

"You're worrying me now" Samantha chuckled as she walked over and sat beside him.

Jackson turned and faced her. "We need to talk..."

"Okay, well out with it before your mother barges in" she smiled at him.

"I c-c...I can't marry you Samantha"

"Excuse me?" she laughed. "Is this some sort of a joke?"

Jackson shook his head. "Far from a joke actually..." he clasped his hands together, seemingly struggling with this. "I'm in love with someone else"

"No, this has to be a joke" she frowned as it began to sink in how serious Jackson was being.

"It's not" he shook his head. "I only met this person three days ago on this ship..."

"Who is it?"

"That doesn't matter"

Unknown to them Hazel had entered their cabin from another entrance and had heard them talking and she stopped in the adjacent room and listened.

"Oh I think it does" Samantha replied, her emotions began to show as tears filled her eyes.

"I'm really sorry"

"No! This can't be happening Jackson, we love each other"

"Yeah" Jackson nodded to her. "I do love you but not enough, and not in a special way either"

"What?" she spat. "In a friend's way"

"Yes"

"Well what we do in the bedroom Jackson..."

"Did..." he reminded.

"Oh yes of course how I could forget the sudden lack of attention..."

"I'm living a lie Sam..." he shrugged. "It's for the best..."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Who is it Jackson? Do I know her?" she wondered.

Jackson sighed as his mother walked into the room. "The question darling you should be asking is do you know _him_?"

Samantha's eyes darted between the both of them in sudden shock; she felt sick and he expressions contorted to one of disgust. "A MAN?" she raised her voice and Jackson sat nodding his head.

* * *

TBC...


	8. Walk Away

AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"Walk Away"

* * *

Jackson sighed as his mother walked into the room. "The question darling you should be asking is do you know _him_?"

Samantha's eyes darted between the both of them in sudden shock; she felt sick and he expressions contorted to one of disgust. "A MAN?" she raised her voice and Jackson sat nodding his head.

...

"I want to hear you say it!" Samantha snapped nastily.

"Why?" he asked. "It's the truth"

"Say _it_"

Jackson sighed and glanced over to his mother. "I want you to leave"

Hazel raised her eyebrows and scoffed. "I don't think so"

"Go now!" Jackson shouted. "We have to talk about this without you hanging over me, I can speak for myself thankyou very much, took my time but I can" he told her angrily through gritted teeth.

Hazel turned quickly and left the way she came.

As they both heard the door close from a few rooms away Samantha let out a deep breath and stood up and looked down at Jackson.

"Yes a man, I'm in love with a man"

"And when were you going to tell me you were?" she asked as tears ran down her face.

Jackson shrugged. "I always have been gay Sam, this engagement was forced, my mum she-"

"Don't blame your mum"

"I'm not. I'm trying to explain and she's a big part of it"

"Go on" she told him as she quickly wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"My mum's always known there was something different about me she didn't know what exactly until a couple of days ago but when I said it was forced it was because she thinks we match and to be honest we don't and we can't match"

"What opposed to two men?"

"That's just the way it is, I'm not going to apologise for it, but what I' am sorry for is keeping this from you and for not saying something sooner"

Samantha scoffed and shook her head as she began to pace the floor, she wasn't taking this well. Nobody would. "It's a disease" she told him bitterly.

Jackson's eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me Jackson"

"If you're on about love then yeah I guess it could be"

"No, you know exactly what I meant, tell me...how are you planning to live the rest of your life with a man when it is illegal, especially where we're heading"

Jackson shook his head slightly. "I'll find a way"

"Oh really?" she looked at him.

"Yes" Jackson stood and walked over to her but she backed away. "This has nothing to do with you, you are a beautiful woman and lovable" he smiled slightly. "But I'm not capable of love for a woman, I'm sorry"

Instantly Samantha flung her hand towards Jackson's face and a loud slapping noise filled the room seconds later. "How dare you" she growled.

Jackson rubbed his cheek which was quickly showing the hand imprint, it stung like hell. "I'm not getting off this ship with you" he said quietly whilst staring down at the carpet.

Sobs escaped from Samantha and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Why did you do this to me?" she cried.

"I-I...I never meant too, I cared for you I didn't want to hurt you but this lie Sam you have to understand, I like men..." his eyes filled with tears as he spoke. "It's not a disease, to me it's normal, and it's just love" his lips quivered as he explained. "It's love and-"

"Who is it?" she asked.

"You don't need to know that" Jackson replied.

"Well then you're mother shall tell me"

Jackson sighed. "What good is it going to do?"

"It won't! But at least I'll know who has stolen the heart of the man I love so much, cherish so much" her words were shot out as the emotion became too much and more tears fell.

"It-" he stopped and closed his eyes, he didn't want to tell her but she did have a point.

"Tell me Jackson!"

Jackson swallowed hard and looked into her eyes. "A-Aaron" he said with a nod.

Samantha's eyes widened and she stepped back. "Him?"

Jackson nodded.

"All this time?"

He nodded once again. "It just happened" he began to cry.

"What? Love at first sight was it?" she began to laugh.

"Actually yeah..." he sniffed. "And you were right next to me when it happened...it hit me just like that, I'm going to be with him, all I can say is I'm sorry and I never meant to hurt you" he told her then stepped back, and turned toward the door.

At the fear of realising she may never see him again she spoke. "N-No Jackson wait!" he stopped and turned around.

"I never meant to hurt you" he sobbed. "You have to believe me"

Samantha nodded. "W-Where are you going?" she cried.

Jackson shrugged. "To Aaron"

Samantha ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him tightly, crying as she did. "I can't do this" she sobbed.

Jackson pulled back and held her hands, his eyes and cheeks soaked with tears just like hers. "You have too"

"I-I know I'm angry but you can't blame me" she told him and Jackson shook his head in agreement. "I-I love you so much"

"I know" Jackson smiled and his teary eyes sparkled in the light. "But I can't love you...but I need you to know that this isn't to do with you, even being gay I still appreciate the beauty of a woman and you" he smiled. "Truly are beautiful and you deserve someone who can love you"

Samantha sobbed again and nodded. She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. "Walk away and live your life Jackson" she whispered and pulled back and quickly turned away so she didn't have to watch him leave.

Jackson wiped his eyes and turned slowly and walked through to the other room to remove some personal possessions and left, he didn't turn back.

He wandered the ship for hours, sat and ate a meal alone and as dusk approached he headed to Aaron and Adam's cabin but got no answer. He left once again in search of him.

Aaron was stood leaning against the railings at the point of the bow, a thoughtful look in his eyes and expressions, his cut and bruised face evident in the light of the sunset.

"He said I'd find you here" Jackson spoke softly as he stood several metres away from him.

Aaron quickly turned. "What you doing here?"

"I-I came to find you" he said as he stepped forward.

"Why?" Aaron scoffed.

"Because I needed to tell you something"

"Oh really?" Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jackson nodded with a smirk on his face.

"I don't find this in the slightest bit amusing Jackson, go back to your fiancé" he spoke with a disgusted look on his face and began to turn away.

"I'm free Aaron" Jackson spoke softly but Aaron remained still facing away from him.

Aaron frowned, replaying those words in his mind. He turned back to him in shock. "Free? As in..." Jackson nodded. "B-But...I don't understand...why I never expected..."

"I did it because I love you and I want you Aaron, when this ship docks I'm getting off with you" Jackson told him.

"W-with me?" Aaron asked, his heart began pounding in his chest. Was this really happening?

"Yes" Jackson grinned. "If you want me?"

"Want you? I've wanted you from the moment I first saw you!" Aaron began to smile.

Jackson stepped forward.

"How did she take it?" he wondered.

"Not good" Jackson shook his head. "But it's done and I'm with you"

Aaron nodded, he felt bad for her.

Jackson watched him carefully, examining him with a smile. "Did you hear me?"

"Uh, what?"

Jackson chuckled. "I'm with you"

"I-if this is a joke Jackson I swear I-" he groaned as Jackson's lips brushed against his and he kissed back with equal passion. He opened his mouth and flicked his tongue against Jackson's, both men consumed in passion but ultimately love as they wrapped their arms around each other, holding each other close for the first time as a couple.

* * *

TBC...


	9. Moments In Life

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Moments In Life"**

* * *

_***Sexual Content Towards End Of Chapter!**_

* * *

The sky was getting darker with each minute that passed and it was beginning to reveal the wonder of the stars that shone prominently every night. Aaron and Jackson were in love, they stood together at the bow of the Titanic, their foreheads resting against one another's. Jackson opened his eyes and smiled. "I want to stay in this moment forever"

"Me too" came a husky reply from Aaron.

"But I can't" Jackson continued. "I have something to do but I will find you later"

Aaron smirked. "You better had"

Jackson's smile widened. "I promise"

Aaron nodded and painfully pulled away from Jackson, he couldn't bear to be without him now. "You go" he smiled. "I'll see you later"

Jackson nodded and stepped away and eventually their joined hands separated, both arms fell to their sides as their eyes remained on one another's for as long as possible. When Jackson was no longer in sight Aaron let out a deep breath and looked out towards the dark ocean, and then looked up at the stars. He noticed two very close together, he smiled.

...

Jackson was fully aware of what he was about to do. He felt no fear, harboured no worry for any consequences that may come. He didn't care anymore. This world he lived in was filled with judgements, discrimination and preconceptions of the people around them. It was disgusting and he wanted nothing to do with it but first he had one last thing to see too. Jackson approached the first class dining lounge. It was early evening and the room was filled, each table was occupied. Jackson stopped and looked around, seconds later he spotted his mother and made his way over. Upon arriving at the table Jackson saw she was sat with people of high esteem, many of which Jackson knew himself. He took a deep breath as he stood behind his seated mother, he clenched his jaw as he exhaled. "I need a word" he told her to which she immediately turned round to look at him.

"You and I have said all we needed too Jackson, now if you don't mind I'm in the middle of dinner and a social gathering"

"Tough. Actually I do mind"

"Jackson there is no need to speak to your mother in that manner"

Jackson scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what kind of a person she was. So until you know _Mr. Ismay_ I suggest you keep your opinion to yourself" That certainly shut the man up and quelled anyone elses chance of having their say. Jackson turned his focus back to his mother. "You know why I'm here"

Hazel slightly nodded.

"Why?" was all he asked.

"His sort deserve it" she said in a hushed voice.

Jackson shook his head in disbelief. He was surprised at how shocked he still was at his mother's attitude towards homosexuality. But not just that oh no, anything she didn't like or just simply couldn't understand it was wrong in her eyes. But what was worse and the cause of his blood boiling was the thought of his own mother organising for another persons suffering, that person being the man he loved. Jackson held onto the back of her chair and leaned down to her level. "So I deserve that then aswell?" he asked with bite, looking into her eyes as he finished speaking. As he stopped chatter spread around the table, it didn't take a genius to discover the source of their hushed words. "I've always been aware of your power within the community, I also know our net worth, combined of course...we could be very powerful family indeed" Jackson's voice was still hushed.

Hazel nodded but yet unsure of where this was going.

"I've always been aware of how strong a person you are, I've always known how caring you can be but when you set someone on Aaron you took it too far. That I wasn't aware of"

Hazel sighed. "I did it for you. You are not ga-" she glanced around the table as she was unable to say the word.

Jackson cocked his head and frowned. "What's that mother? Not gay? I' am" he now spoke normally so that everyone could hear him. Gasps and looks from around the table and other tables around were focussed on Jackson. Their shocked faces were as expected.

"Jackson!" Hazel warned nervously as she found herself in the centre of it all.

"Oh what? You like being the centre of attention mother or am I wrong?" he asked but no answer came. "You know the best thing is, it's set me free of you and this voyage to the states has found me a man that I want to be with forever and I will be, damn right i will, he has opened my eyes to how amazing and beautiful life can be – with the right people and nobody will interfere with that not even you. You've tried it once you won't get another chance!"

Silence fell upon the table and Jackson looked around at the individuals seated. "And if anyone has a problem with my preferences then keep it to yourself, i don't want to know. I don't need approval" he scoffed and looked at his mother then back around the table. "As some of you might have heard she organised an attack on a man I met onboard this ship and in such a short time subsequently fell in love with, disgraceful behaviour if you ask me. Enjoy the rest of your evening. I know I will" he flashed a smile and walked away leaving an ashamed Hazel sat with her head bowed avoiding the eyes of those around.

/

Riled up and infuriated Jackson gripped onto the cold hard metallic railing and took in a deep breath. The fresh sea air refreshing. Passengers milled around nearby or were on an evening walk after their meals old and young couples walking arm in arm. Hazel stood several metres away from Jackson just stood watching him with tears running down her face. "I-I remember when you were just a boy"

Jackson turned to face her upon hearing her voice.

"It was after your father had left us and I took you to the park, I watched you playing with the other boys and girls, you didn't know them, they didn't know you but you all just played anyway. When you were done you came over and sat next to me, you looked at me with your adoring smile and said mummy that girl was staring at me" Hazel smiled at the memory. "The girl was a little older than you, and you were too young to know about things and I asked if you had any idea why..."

Jackson sighed and looked down at the wooden deck he vaguely remembered.

"...You shrugged your shoulders and said you didn't like girls...e-every little boy doesn't like girls" she smiled as tears ran down her face, Jackson looked up at her and nodded. "I never once thought it would become real, n-not for you anyway. All through your life you've never lacked the attention of girls and I don't blame them, you are a handsome boy" she nodded and smiled with pride as her teary eyes shone in the lights. "And you are growing into a fine man too, not just that though you are growing up and I somehow...have to accept that"

"No mum what you have to accept is that I'm gay and who I like is my business, what I do is my business. Not yours"

Hazel nodded. "I know" her face scrunched as the emotions began to overwhelm her. She stepped closer to her son.

"I can get over the fact you despise what I' am thats fine but what I can't get over or forgive is what you've done to Aaron, he's a mess mum! And I'd go as far as saying it was the last nail in the coffin because there is no going back after that, what you did to him has ruined us now. You've never once hurt me, yeah you're bossy, strung up and quite frankly the bitch of all bitches at times but you're my mum and you've never hurt me..."

"Till now" she continued.

Jackson nodded in agreement. "Yeah, till now" he confirmed sadly. "What I did in there wasn't necessary but it had to be said, hurting Aaron hurt me and you needed to know...I hadn't had chance too until tonight, were you so stupid to think Aaron wouldn't tell me what happened and who he knew who did it..."

"I knew he would. I felt like I was losing you, I had to send him a message, one he'd understand. At the time you were still with Sam and it was wrong, it still is but my opinion doesn't matter because whatever I say right here won't matter because you'll still end up going back to him tonight"

Jackson nodded.

"You are all I have got...Jackson...you have to understand that"

"I do. Dad left us, your parents are dead, you've left friends back in England...we were on our way to a new life – together..."

"But now all that's changed" she told him as she cried.

"I have Aaron now. I'm an adult mum...I-I know you're on your own but I can't stick around forever, I wouldn't have been anyway, if Aaron hadn't have came along I'd have probably still married Sam, despite my feelings...and I'd have lived with her..."

"But I'd have been able to see you then, this way..." she stopped, sighed and shook her head.

"This way, I'm with Aaron, probably going to be hundreds of miles away from you, it's a big country..."

"Regardless of the distance..." Hazel swallowed. "I-I can't see you once this ship docks, not if you're going to be with him...I' am so sorry"

Jackson stood staring, then he smiled slightly as sad as he was. "A leopard can't change it's spots can it?" He sniffled and looked out into the darkness of the ocean. "I understand"

"I'm too old now to alter my beliefs and opinions...I can see how happy he makes you but in my eyes it's wrong and I can't see you with him. Despite all this I need you to know how much I love you...you're my boy and I want you to be happy"

Tears ran down Jackson's face and he nodded. "I' am"

"Good" Hazel smiled as the tears still fell. She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek and turned his face to look at her. "You be careful"

Jackson nodded. "You'll be okay mum..."

Hazel nodded with a content sigh. "I'll have to be, going to take some time to get used to being alone...afterall I'm used to you being at my side from the day you were born. But I'm glad you're going to be happy you deserve it son. I'm so proud of you, not apologising for who you are. Don't ever start either"

"I won't" he smiled.

Hazel looked at him deeply and seconds later removed her hand from his face and she began to step back.

"..M-Mum...I-I hope one day we do see each other again"

"...One day" Hazel spoke as she still stepped back, she smiled slightly and turned around now walking away from her son, back into her life. A weight had been lifted that she had never expected, a lift that had occured from finding common ground, a peace with her son that she thought was impossible days ago.

Jackson watched her go, he'd miss her but he understood her reasons now, not that they made her actions the right things to have done but never the less he understood and he walked away also, upset at that being the last time he'd probably see her but things had to be sacrificed for happiness it was just a shame a leopard couldn't change it's spots, if they could or more so Hazel then no one would have to separate from each others lives. While walking along and down through the decks he seeked comfort in knowing he was going back to a very special man, a gorgeous blue eyed young man who had his heart, and he had his.

He arrived at Aaron's cabin a while later and walked inside, he soon realised Aaron was asleep and he melted at how cute he looked when he slept. He quietly closed the door behind him and turned the lock. Jackson removed his shoes and trousers, then removed his jacket and shirt. He walked over to the bunk bed and removed his underwear before crouching down to climb in beside Aaron.

The touch of Aaron's skin was smooth and warm, comforting to say the least. Jackson smiled, as his arm skimmed over his lower body, not a surprise in the least to find Aaron was also naked, it was nice two bodies pressed against each others as they lay together to sleep. Jackson was resting up on his elbow and the heel of his palm rested against his temple as he gazed down at his boyfriend. Moments later Jackson gently leaned over him and planted a kiss on his lips and when Aaron kissed back it came as a very pleasant surprise, Aaron's soft groans of pleasure as they kissed hightened his senses and he felt a tightness in his groin, a tightness that quickly caused his penis to enlarge as their tongues melded together. Aaron lifted his arm around Jackson's head and pulled him in closer. Aaron stopped kissing him and opened his eyes, and placed his hand on Jackson's face. "Where were you?"

"I was dealing with my mother" he explained and saw the beginnings of a horrified look begin to form on Aaron's face. "But it's done and there's nothing to worry about anymore, we talked...that's it"

"You sure?"

"I' am...we've come to an understanding"

Aaron nodded.

"Now kiss me, nobody said you could stop" Jackson told him with a cheeky smirk.

Aaron chuckled and pulled him closer again. Minutes of kissing ended once again, the heat and passion was evident but the love was ever so much more evident and Aaron simply nodded and Jackson moved positioning himself on top of Aaron but in between his legs. This was new to both of them but it was happening, they wanted it. Aaron's gaze never left Jackson's and vice versa as he positioned himself correctly and pushed himself inside gently. Aaron hissed with pain but pleasure came also, he gripped the bed sheet as they became one and he arched his back as the pleasure consumed him. Jackson moved his arms beneath Aaron and held him up slighly as Aaron's legs wrapped around his waist. Jackson leaned down over him as he thrust his cock inside, each thrust increasing in speed and depth. He kissed, nibbled and bit at Aaron's taut stomach, moans and groans of pleasure filled the small cabin as they made love, a first for both of them and a first neither would ever forget.

/

The aftermath of their lovemaking consisted of falling asleep in each others arms but they woke several hours later and just smiled at each other. Jackson leaned up and reached over Aaron and picked his watch up from the floor. "What time is it?" asked Aaron groggily.

"Eleven thirty five" Jackson answered as he placed his watch back down on the floor and settled back into Aaron's comforting arms.

Both lay silently for a minute or so before Aaron spoke. "This was amazing, I-I never expected it to be...to be like that...people who say this is wrong, need to try that" he smirked. "The feeling i-it's just-..." he struggled finding the word and Jackson grinned."...Out of this world?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded with a grin. "Yeah"

"I know what you mean, that was something else and do you know what it was?"

"The love we have for one another" Aaron told him as he placed his hand on jackson's smooth chest. Jackson smiled and kissed him.

However moments later their passionate kiss was brought to a sudden abrupt stop when it felt like the ship was going to fall apart, furniture and item vibrated along their surfaces in a very fast manner. The initial loud crash and then the deafening screeching sound was enough to alert anyone that something terrible had just happened. What it was however was a mystery for now.

Aaron and Jackson looked at each other in shock then quickly as the ship still shuddered got out of bed and put on their clothes quickly. "What the hell was that?" Aaron asked as he hurriedly dressed.

"No idea but it sounded bad whatever it was"

Aaron nodded, they both agreed.

Jackson reached down and picked up his watch and placed it on his wrist and noted the time. Eleven forty pm. He had no idea that specific time was currently being noted in the ships log as the time Titanic struck an iceberg, and no one as of yet knew what was to come.

That would quickly change.

* * *

**TBC...**


	10. Open The Gate

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Open The Gate"**

* * *

The cabin door burst open and Aaron and Jackson turned quickly to see Adam in a clear panic, they looked at him curiously. "Guys!" Adam began, his breathing harsh he'd obviously been running. "Y-You won't believe this"

Aaron closed the gap between them and placed his hands on Adam's shoulders. "Hang on a sec mate get your breath back" he told him and Adam nodded and sat on the edge of the bottom bunk. Aaron and Jackson couldn't help but smirk at each other.

Adam's breathing calmed significantly after a minute and he continued. "I was up on deck and the ship started to shudder then all of a sudden this massive iceberg passed us, I barely missed falling chunks of ice, never been so scared in my life – I jumped to miss the falling pieces and I lay there just staring up at it as it passed, it was amazing but terrifying at the same time"

"So do we know what happened then?" Jackson asked.

Adam shrugged as he looked up at them both. "I heard some of the crew talking about flooding below; I-it didn't sound good"

"It didn't feel good either, there was a loud crashing sound and everything was shaking" Jackson told him.

Adam nodded as he ran his finger along his jaw line. "Probably felt it more down here"

Aaron frowned; he was barely taking much of this in as it was. "Right, hang on what are we saying then? The ship hit an iceberg, ok, they can sort this can't they?" he asked as he looked between the two of them. "Jackson" he spoke louder to get an answer, if anyone would have a better idea out of the three of them he would, he helped build it and probably knew the statistics and probabilities in an accident such as the one that had obviously occurred moments previously.

Jackson's mind was in overload, he was trying to comprehend, to think but it was all a jumble. "I-I..." he sighed. "Give me a sec"

Aaron nodded and looked back at Adam. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine just scary you know"

Aaron smiled sympathetically and nodded as Jackson spoke. "A-Alright listen, if there's already flooding below then there's a possibility they can stop it, but again it depends on the extent of the damage"

"And what if the damage is really bad?" Aaron asked. "The ship can't sink I mean, false advertising then innit?"

Adam smirked at Aaron's messing around but Jackson's seriousness never wavered. "If it's bad this ship will sink, it's just steel"

Both Aaron and Adam grumbled as Adam stood and reached on top of the wardrobe and pulled down two lifebelts and quickly pushed them into Aaron and Jackson's chests. Jackson frowned. "No. No I'm not taking it"

"Jackson" Aaron scowled.

"It's yours mate...take it"

Jackson adamantly shook his head. "I can't" he said as Adam then forced it into Jackson's chest some more. Jackson sighed and gave in and began to put it over his head, just as Aaron was.

"There's no time to argue anyway, I'll find another" Adam reassured them with a smile. But his smile faded when he saw the horrified look on Aaron's face, he turned quickly to see what Aaron was looking at, not only could he now see it he could hear the quiet trickling of the ice cold north Atlantic water seeping in beneath their door. "Like I said" Adam swallowed hard, fear now building within. "There's no time"

"We have to get out of here now" Jackson told them as he pushed in front, the coldness of the water seeped through his shoes immediately. He let out a slow deep breath; he'd adjust to it eventually. As soon as he opened the door, chaos was unleashed upon them, countless passengers were running past them in their pyjamas, wearing only slippers, fear driving them to the upper levels, the water was running along the corridor quickly.

As they walked the corridor led by Jackson, Adam and Aaron followed a few steps behind. "So...mate" Adam began. "Was that what I think it might have been?"

Aaron smiled shyly. "Uh yeah, yeah it was"

Adam smiled. He was so pleased for him, for them both. "And you're okay?"

Aaron nodded and his smile widened. "I' am"

"Good" Adam said as he patted him on the back. "Come on let's catch up, it's getting crazy down here we can't afford to lose each other" he told him and both lads began to push past and through the other third class passengers.

As they walked Aaron noticed a few foreign passengers looking at one of the signs that directed people to other places, one of the men was holding a book, Aaron frowned he guessed the man was trying to read English, his tone was panicked that didn't go a miss and the sudden realisation of what was happening, impacted Aaron hard. He was scared, and he felt sorry for the foreigners who couldn't find the information they needed quick enough. Anyone could help them but no one was because in a situation like that there was no time to think, to do anything, trapped in a deck below sea level and with water coming in a surge of panic hit everyone and like now they were all frightened and rushed to get out, to rise up to the open air. Aaron felt the panic around him and in one swift movement he reached out and grabbed Jackson's hand and squeezed tight. Jackson turned and gave him a reassuring smile and pulled him in close as he wrapped his arm around his waist. Aaron turned to Adam. "Keep up or else"

"Don't worry about me mate, just keep going" Adam advised, there was now a few people between him and the new couple. Adam looked at Aaron intensely, a message that Aaron received and gave a nod too. Aaron turned back to focus on where they were going.

Moments later, Aaron and Jackson saw a stairway ahead but both grumbled and looked at each other a sea of people covered the stairs and were stopped by a closed iron gate at the top, people behind them now stopped and they could feel their bodies being pushed up against the persons in front of them. Aaron certainly didn't like it, he wasn't claustrophobic but in a situation like that, anyone would be. "J-Jackson why are the gates closed?"

"Erm, t-they have to give the people up top time to get to the lifeboats"

"What?! No, wait that doesn't surprise me at all, the rich and powerful people go first..."

Jackson sighed and lowered his head. "Women and children only, actually"

Aaron's eyes narrowed. "Ya what? There are kids down here!" he shouted angrily, but his anger wasn't at Jackson it was for the stupid rules that were in place.

"I know, I know"

"Well then they have to open the gate!"

"I-If they do that they're risking..."

"Risking what Jackson? People are scared for god sake!"

"I know, Aaron listen to me you need to calm down" he raised his hand with difficulty but managed and caressed Aaron's cheek.

"Calm down!" Aaron exclaimed. "How can I calm down? I'm scared Jackson, I'm squashed up against people, I can barely move! And the thought of being locked down here to fucking drown isn't very appealing, they should at least give us a chance!" his tone was angry and panicked and it was clear to see.

"Listen to me" Jackson urged. "We aren't going to drown...we-..." he thought. "You need to force your way through alright, there's another staircase on the other side, push your way through and don't let go of my hand!"

Aaron's breathing was sharp, his eyes focussed on Jackson the entire time he was speaking, he understood the instructions.

"Go, go now" Jackson told him then planted a soft kiss on his forehead before Aaron lunged forward and pushed through the crowd of people accumulating at the staircase and beyond, those that had approached from the opposite direction. They had definitely lost Adam now, but they would see him again.

A while later they reached the staircase Jackson had mentioned on the other side of the deck, this one and the corridor was sparse, only several stood on the steps up to yet another locked iron gate. Aaron sighed and looked at Jackson. "Ask them to open the gate" Jackson told him.

"Oh yeah" Aaron rolled his eyes. "As if they're going to do that because _I _asked"

"You never know, you can be very persuasive" he smirked.

Aaron hit him in the chest gently. "Yeah but the bedroom's an entirely different situation" he told him and Jackson just began to laugh and he stood watching Aaron walk up the steps.

"You're wasting your time lad, they aren't gunna open it"

Aaron turned and looked at the large well built man who spoke to him. "Who says _they_ are?"

The passenger frowned and just watched as Aaron set off on a run and with full force flung himself into the gate. The gate itself did move but it didn't budge. He sighed and looked down the steps. "Move out of the way" he told a woman who was stood on the steps. She nodded and walked back down them.

"What are you doing!" demanded a man on the other side of the gate.

"Getting out of here" Aaron explained as he turned to face the small man on the other side. "Why? What are you doing? Standing there looking important? You aren't god; you can't leave us locked up down here"

"I have my orders"

"Stuff the fucking orders! Just let us out, no one will know, there's only seven of us here, just open the gate!"

"I-I can't" the man explained, but even in his tone they could all hear that he was beginning to question his orders.

"Fine, we'll open the gate then – Jackson!" he called down to him and turned back to the man on the step.

"You don't need to ask lad, let's open this gate"

Aaron grinned and nodded at him in appreciation.

"No wait! I-I'll let you through..." the small man interjected before any damage could be done. Aaron eyed him suspiciously. "And you'll leave it open" it wasn't much of a question, it was a demand – or else.

The man nodded after a second or two. "Y-yes of course" he replied as he fumbled with the set of keys in his hand.

"Good" Aaron told him. The man stepped forward, placed the correct key in the lock and turned it, the lock clicked and he forced the gate apart, pushing each side back into the recess of the walls allowing the passengers out.

"Well played" Jackson spoke into Aaron's ear. "Thought you'd have kicked off more than that"

Aaron smirked as they walked free. "I would have given the chance, but he saw sense"

Jackson nodded. "He did the right thing"

"But..." Aaron sighed heavily. "What do we do now?" Both men simply looked at each other, trying to find an answer, either way they couldn't get a lifeboat. Jackson pulled Aaron to the side of the corridor and they stood close, facing each other. "W-We have to stay on board as long as we can" he explained and kissed his forehead softly.

"Bu-" Aaron's voice was shaky.

"Shh...I know you're scared Aaron, so am I...but we have each other and after everything I'm not going to let this ruin what we have are you listening?" Jackson shook him slightly.

Aaron nodded. "Y-yeah...I' am, I hear ya..."

"Good" Jackson smiled wide as he stared into Aaron's fascinating blue eyes. "I love you Aaron"

"I love you too Jackson" he spoke quietly as fear filled his thoughts. Jackson knew it was as he watched him; he was scared too, all he could do was stay with him and make sure they survived, despite everything being against that possibility, for the moment anyway.

They continued to rise up through the decks but they soon came to another crowd filled corridor and a locked gate, but something was different, they both noticed the people at the top doing exactly what Aaron had done, but words obviously did not have the desired effect on the guards on the other side of the gate. These men were repeatedly running into it forcing the gate back further with each force of their combined bodies impacting the iron gate. Aaron looked around at all the people as he hoped they would get the gate open. He frowned when something caught his eye, he let go of Jackson's hand and walked towards what he had seen.

"Aaron! What are you doing?!" Jackson called to him.

Someone was lying on the floor, Aaron could barely see the person now as he approached; a lot of people were in the way and were trampling on the poor person. Anger rose within Aaron and he forced his way through and pushed them away. "What the hell are you doing?!" he shouted in complete rage as he angrily pushed people away who were trampling on the person, when he looked down he froze, blood was flowing from Adam's nose and he was unconscious. "Make room!" Jackson instructed and the people around stepped away realising there mistake.

Aaron fell to his knees and leaned over him and listened for any signs of breathing. There was thankfully and he looked up at Jackson as tears began to fill his eyes. "He, he's ok I think...how stupid..." his breathing hitched as the emotion overwhelmed him. "People" he closed his eyes tight and shook his head as tears ran from his eyes. Jackson looked up and saw that they had succeeded in smashing down the gate and people were fleeing and with each second that passed the corridor was becoming less crowded. Jackson knelt down beside Aaron. "Aaron, we have to go"

Aaron opened his eyes and sighed heavily as he looked at Jackson and he began to shake his head. "I'm not going"

"What?" Jackson frowned. "We don't have time Aaron!"

"He's my mate Jackson! I'm not leaving him here...he didn't deserve this...I know, I know this situation is bad, but crushing people in a blind panic..." he was disgusted but a part of him couldn't help but understand the circumstances and why this did happen.

"Aaron we have to go, this will flood sooner rather than later"

"Let it flood!" Aaron responded angrily. "You go...I'm staying with him"

Jackson couldn't believe this was happening. He knew the two of them were friends and he understood Aaron's loyalty but now really wasn't the time. Jackson sighed – what to do?

* * *

**TBC...**


	11. Unsinkable?

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Unsinkable?"**

* * *

_-Monday 15__th__ April 12.05am-_

With the lights low they partially lit up the room and the dark oak wood paneling that covered the walls giving the first class suite a very cosy feel; but with the paintings on the walls it cast a mysterious feel to the atmosphere also. Hazel sat at her dresser, dressed in a long night gown. In her hand was a photo album it was opened up and she stared down at it – tears dropped down onto the photo of Jackson. She sighed quietly and wiped her cheeks quickly. Hazel got to her feet and placed the album down onto her dressing table and walked towards the door of her bedroom and walked out into the more central area of their suite, a large lounge essentially and she was surprised to see Samantha still awake and sitting on the sofa.

Samantha took in a breath and realized it slowly as she stared down at her clasped hands. She knew Hazel was there and ever since the revelation of Jackson's sexuality had come out, their relationship had become frosty to say the least. She cleared her throat and a frown washed over her face as she thought. "I...I guess I should come out and say this because to be quite frank I haven't had a chance what with dealing with losing the man I love..."

Samantha's tone was grave and Hazel knew what was coming, she looked up at the ceiling as if asking for strength from a higher power, she didn't believe in anything like that but still, she did it. "I know what you're going to say"

"Oh?" Samantha turned her head slightly to Hazel's direction.

Hazel nodded and stepped forward in front of the sofa where the younger woman was sat. "How angry you are that I knew all along..."

Samantha scoffed and nodded her head. "You could put it like that yeah, how could you?"

Hazel closed her eyes for a second and bit her lip. She opened her eyes and looked at Sam. "He...He's my son Samantha, I-I thought it was a phase, that it wasn't real...I thought I could make sure he wouldn't turn out...gay" she grimaced, she hated saying the word.

"But he is, and you could have told me sooner"

"And you would hurt less would you not?"

Samantha bowed her head again. "Of course I wouldn't" she answered with a sigh. "Funny thing is" she looked up with a smile. "I don't hate him" she began to laugh. "I hate you. Jackson can't help who he's attracted to, and I admire him, it makes me love him just that little more...the courage it would have taken, can you begin to comprehend how scared he must have been just at the thought of telling me?" Hazel bowed her head sheepishly; she knew she had done wrong. Sam, however did not care she carried on. "And you! I bet you loved pressuring him, making him think he was something he was not, and then there's Aaron, what you had plann-"

"I KNOW! I know alright, I'm well aware of the mistakes I've made" Hazel argued back.

Sam frowned, disgusted by her. She stood up. "Mistakes? More than that wouldn't you say? And don't say you did it for me either because that isn't possible, you did it all for you, yourself...you Hazel are selfish"

With that Hazel reached out and slapped her but quickly realised the error and placed her hand over her mouth. "I-I'm so sorry" she mumbled.

"Tell that to Jackson and Aaron!" Sam bit back with a raised voice as she nursed the stinging flesh on her cheek. "They need the apology"

"I already spoke to Jackson" Hazel told her sadly and judging by Sam's shocked reaction she certainly wasn't expecting that revelation. "And?" she asked sharply.

"And it ended up with us both reaching common ground" she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "He's gone to him, I can't see him with a man...he said he understood"

That disgusted Sam and she began to pace the floor. "So, you risk not seeing him EVER again because you are too set in your ways?"

"Says you who has very strong opinions on every person that passes by you..."

Sam sighed and shook her head.

"You know it's true, you are just as bad as me"

"Recent events have forced me to see things differently...why can't you?"

Hazel was dead set on replying but she was interrupted by a loud knock on the door and then it opened, one of the stewards stood in the doorway. "I'm sorry to bother you both but you need to put on your lifebelts and come up to the boat deck, captain's orders"

Samantha sighed and turned away from them both.

"Whatever for?" Hazel asked.

The steward blinked a few times, a nervous twitch he'd had for years. He knew the truth but was told not to alert passengers, they didn't want a panic. Scenes on the upper decks differed dramatically to those down below.

...

Screaming, shouting, bodies fleeing by in a blind panic, that's all Aaron could see and hear as he sat knelt down on his knees holding Adam up against him.

"AARON!" Jackson shouted. "We have to go!"

"I already told you Jackson, I'm not going _anywhere!_" he replied angrily through gritted teeth.

Jackson sighed, they were on E Deck, they were in a corridor that ran the length of the deck, the passageway had been nicknamed Scotland road by many of the crew and it was labelled as that by signs up ahead. Jackson's heart began to beat fast; he swore he could see water further down the corridor, as far as he could see anyway. "AARON!"

Aaron just sat shaking his head and then suddenly he began to shake Adam. "Wake up! Come on, don't you dare do this to me!" he raged but Jackson could see how strong their bond as friends had become in such a short space of time just by Aaron's determined tone.

Jackson looked around again, the corridor was quieter now and it was water; it was inevitable. He sighed and closed his eyes tight, it had to be a nightmare things like this didn't happen, not on a maiden voyage, it couldn't... He let out a deep breath, he was frustrated and he quickly knelt down to Aaron's eye level and shook him. "Do you have any idea what is happening here!" Jackson yelled, but not out of malice, it was out of love. "This ship is filling with water Aaron and we can't stay on this deck any longer, if we do we'll die, there's no two ways about it, that's the brutal truth. Now get the hell up!"

Aaron suddenly began to get upset and Jackson felt terrible. "I-I didn't-"

"But what about him?" Aaron sobbed.

Jackson bit his lip, the prospect of lugging Adam on his back to safety wasn't something he wanted to do, or believed he could see through. He let out a sigh and stood up, reached down and lifted Adam off of Aaron and flung him over his shoulder.

Aaron frowned, pleased but that came as a surprise, he rose to his feet as he watched Jackson readjust Adam carefully over his shoulder. "D-Do you have any idea how far we have to go?" he asked as he wiped his eyes.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah, course I do and no offence but you need more muscles before I'd even let you carry him" he joked but his expressions softened and he reached out to Aaron's hand and squeezed it.

"That's why I hadn't already done it..." he said as he lowered his head.

"Hey..." he soothed as he rubbed the back of Aaron's hand with his thumb.

"No...No...I-I'd have had to have left him here, alone" Aaron broke down and dropped his head in his hands.

"It's a good job I'm here then...but you have to know, if he doesn't come around soon or if the worst comes to worse I _will _have to leave him, I know that sounds horrible but..." Jackson shrugged slightly and looked away.

"No...no I-I-I know..." Aaron's sadness overwhelmed him and he looked at Jackson with teary eyes. "I'm such a saddo" he grumbled.

"You're reacting normally actually" Jackson smiled and then turned and they began to walk.

"But you, you're..." Aaron asked, confusion filling his tone.

Jackson chuckled. "I'm sure I'll have my moments"

...

After walking for several minutes along the corridor they finally came to a stairwell, Jackson had an idea and began to move Adam from his shoulders. "Listen...there's some rooms down here I can look in for a lifebelt, he's gunna need one" Jackson was now holding Adam in his arms. "You have to do this Aaron, just take him up to the next level, he'll be safe there, and I'll only be a few minutes"

"I'm not leaving you"

"You won't be, come back if you want" Jackson said with a smile and then extended his arms, and Adam for Aaron to take. "He's not that heavy, remember you can do it"

Aaron nervously nodded and took hold of Adam then looked back up at Jackson and gave a soft smile before turning away and walking up the steps slowly, it was difficult carrying another body but as long as he was still breathing he'd stay with him.

Once Aaron had left Jackson turned and walked a few metres down the corridor to the first room he came too, he took hold of the handle and flung the door open harshly, he walked in and the door bounced off a wooden unit and slammed shut. Jackson quickly searched the room, pulled everything apart, looked behind furniture, there was nothing. He stopped still and looked around; a shudder went through him when he saw water slowly creeping in from underneath the door. He walked to the wardrobe standing in a corner and reached on top, still nothing, his eyes darted around and he saw a drawer on the bottom of the wardrobe, he leaned down and opened it. His smile was wide as he pulled out the lifebelt. Not bothering to close the drawer he stood straight and walked back to the door, he turned the handle and pulled. He frowned instantly, his heart began to pound in his chest and a wave of heat rushed over him, panic. The door wasn't budging, he quickly fiddled with the lock but nothing was working. He stared in horror at the door and stepped back, still staring at it until he broke his gaze and looked down at the water circling his ankles. "Oh shit..."

* * *

**TBC...**


	12. Breaking Through

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Breaking Through"**

* * *

Silence that's all there was as he stood with his hands gripped onto the door handle; the water was now knee high and it was freezing, probably nought degrees, maybe even over. Jackson was beginning to panic and he yanked the door handle some more but it wasn't budging and time certainly was not on his side, the water would rise quickly and when that happened...well he tried not thinking about that.

...

Aaron successfully made it to safety and lowered Adam gently down onto the deck. Aaron's eyes widened in shock when he saw him starting to come around. "Adam! Jesus mate!" he exclaimed and let out a sigh of relief.

Adam's head was banging, he'd never felt so groggy in his life. His eyes were narrowed, the lights was too bright. "What happened?"

"You're alright mate just sit still for a sec...We found you unconscious, we think you were trampled on, probably banged your head. You've been out for a little while but you're awake so I'm guessing you're going to be okay..."

"And you, you carried me...?" he asked as he looked around, he immediately knew he was somewhere else.

"Jackson did, I carried you up here while he went to find you a lifebelt..."

"What? He's wasting time mate, I'm a good swimmer I'll be fine"

Aaron sighed and closed his eyes for a split second. "Not really the point is it?" he asked. "Listen just stay put I'm going to find him"

Adam nodded and watched Aaron go.

When Aaron reached the top of the stairwell he began walking down it quickly, rounded a corner then another before he stopped dead in his tracks. Water had now risen above the first five steps from the bottom. "Jackson what you doing we've gotta go!" he yelled. He heard a muffled reply but he couldn't make out what was being said. _Looks like I'm going in then _he thought, he grimaced and pulled a face as he stepped down into the water, as if that was going to help ease the transition into the freezing water. It didn't and he felt the air in his lungs being scooped up and thrown aside, he let out audible shuddering noises as he lowered his body further into the water with each step he took. The water only reached his waist when he stepped onto the deck but even that was enough, he didn't like it one bit. "JACKSON!" he shouted again and Jackson's reply sounded closer. Aaron then quickly began to plough through the water using his arms as leverage to push himself onward, he placed his ear against a door. "Jackson where are you?"

"In here!" he replied but the sound wasn't coming from the door Aaron was standing at, but he was close. He pushed himself further along the water filled corridor some more before he came to another door. "Jackson"

"You're getting closer!" Jackson yelled and slammed his fist on the door.

Aaron quickly looked ahead when he heard the banging, it was the next room and he continued walking through the water which wasn't an easy task. Seconds later he stopped at the door and grabbed hold of the handle and pushed, but like Jackson's reaction, he frowned, then he pushed harder. "It-It's not opening!"

Jackson closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the door, he let out a breath. "It won't open" he told him quietly.

Aaron began to panic and he started to kick the door but the force of the water fought against his strikes, essentially softening each blow to the door he made.

"You have to go!"

"NO!" Aaron yelled back in reply as he tried barging into the door with his shoulder, putting all of his strength into it, as he hit it Aaron saw a gap between the door and the frame but it was only millimetres.

"Aaron listen to me, I'm done for..."

"No!" Aaron shouted angrily, he hated what Jackson had just said and he knew that what he might have continued to say would have broken his heart. "Just shut up! You're not done for cause somehow..." he said as he looked around the corridor. "Somehow I'm going to get you out of there!" he called to him.

"We haven't got any time!"

"Yes we have Jackson just please stop, after everything, after everything we've been through already to get to this point there is no way I'm giving up and neither are you, are you listening?" he demanded.

Jackson closed his eyes and nodded against the door, he cleared his throat. "Yes, yes I hear you..."

"Right, I've got to look for something to pry this door open, I'll be back" Aaron told him then stepped away from the door and started to wade through the water once more.

"Aaron!"

Aaron stopped and turned to face the door.

"I love you" Jackson told him.

Aaron smiled but it quickly faded, the realisation that there was an evident possibility that he might not be able to help Jackson hurt him, but those words of love gave him the strength to overcome that damned door and to free his boyfriend. "I-I love you too" Aaron called back as tears ran down his face. He wiped them away quickly and continued on as fast as he possibly could...

_A life together, a life full of love, that life shared with difficult times but was casted upon with humour – Jackson's humour, the man that could light up a room when he walked in it, a man who saw the best in people but who like Aaron struggled on together as an unseen couple, they lived together, in a flat in the city of New York, the official documents list them as flat mates, if people had any idea that they even shared a bedroom never mind what they actually did in the bed the locals would probably try and lynch them. Despite their daily struggles their love remained strong, ups and downs came but love was always present. A long full life together, in secrecy yes but it was best that way. _

A possible version of their life flashed before Aaron's eyes as he forced himself through the icy water to a point on the wall which housed an axe. He'd never handled one before but what he was using it for didn't entail striking a specific area he was just going to use it as a wedge in the door and then hoped the door would just bust, he smashed the glass case with a fist, causing himself to bleed but he was too cold to feel it, he grabbed the axe and headed back to Jackson. The water was up to his neck now and walking became a major struggle he had to swim but he soon found out that wasn't as easy as he thought, the cold water inhibited the use of his arms and legs, they'd been submerged long enough to begin feeling numb and stiff, he still swam but it took more energy out of him than walking through it. His jaw jittered as he swam forward back to the locked door that desperately needed opening, he'd never been so cold in his life it was painful.

...

With an air of annoyance Hazel strode onto the boat deck with Samantha, neither of them had spoken since being interrupted by the steward. They dressed and under instruction put on their lifebelts and left their suite. All they could see were ship personnel preparing lifeboats. "This is ridiculous, they call us out of our cabins in the middle of the night and there's only a few others around...the rest of the passengers have the right idea" Hazel ranted and began to turn back. "I'm going back"

Samantha shook her head and rolled her eyes. "HAZEL! For once can you please just listen to what people tell you? They are preparing the lifeboats; something has obviously happened that has forced them to take such an action"

Hazel sighed and turned back to face Samantha "I'm going to find the captain!"

"Oh yes of course, is there anybody on this ship you don't know?" she eyed her with annoyance as Hazel walked away, who was obviously refusing to bite back.

Moments later Hazel found Captain Smith and without her nice introductions as usual she grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him around. "Edward what is going on? This is ridiculous"

The captain sighed, a saddened expression on his face. "We're preparing the lifeboats for immediate evacuation of all women and children; first of course, they are priority"

Hazel frowned. "May I ask why?"

Edward then frowned himself. "You didn't feel it?"

Hazel shook her head, now rightfully confused. Edward then stepped out of her view to the side, and outstretched his arm. Hazel took the invitation and walked forward when she reached the end of the deck she could now fully see the bow of the ship almost submerged. Her eyes widened, the first person she thought of was Jackson; Aaron's third class cabin was situated down below in the bow section, tears immediately ran from her eyes.

"Now you see Miss Rhodes why my orders are important and not ridiculous"

Hazel nodded slightly, still staring out in disbelief. "Y-yes of course" she replied and wiped her eyes and turned to face him. "Now I see I understand, but many people are indoors, your officers have a job on their hands to get as many people as they can out here and in those boats"

"I've given the order to gather them all - again"

Hazel nodded; she saw in his eyes the guilt he felt, a long successful career shattered by a reckless decision to speed up despite ice warnings, ice warnings that Hazel had heard about. She looked at him in sympathy, what would become of him if he survived? She dreaded to think.

...

Aaron was under the water in front of the door, before going under he told Jackson to pull on the door as hard as he could, once under he could see he was doing just that by the tiny gap in the doorframe, he had to be as quick as he could they both couldn't hold their breaths for too long. Under the water he wedged the blade of the axe in the gap trying to pry away the latch from its hole in the door frame. After seconds of working away the latch strips of wood flaked away and floated by, giving Aaron the boost to keep going he struggled through, holding himself in place by a mere grasp of the doorframe with his fingertips as his body naturally wanted to float.

He couldn't hold his breath any longer and with one last push of the axe he left it lodged in the door. Air escaped his lungs as he rose to the top; he just hoped there was still a top. "Jackson!" he shouted breathlessly once he reached the air.

"I-I'm here-" Jackson spluttered then coughed as he wiped the salty water from his eyes. "I'm scared Aaron, it's not gunna work I'm going to die here"

"No! You're not! We can't argue about this, we have to keep going and this time I don't intend on leaving this corridor unless you're with me, got it?"

Jackson smiled at his words, Aaron was so committed, so driven by love, that love which gave him a confidence, strength to see this through. He owed him that himself by getting back under and pulling that door open.

With both sets of lungs rejuvenated with air, both boys swam back under, Jackson immediately started pulling the handle aggressively, yanking hard at it while Aaron pushed the blade of the axe. It seemed like nothing was going to work until Aaron fell to the side when the wooden handle of the axe snapped, the next thing he saw was Jackson swimming out of the room. His eyes widened he couldn't believe what he was seeing, it worked! He'd celebrate later, he smiled at Jackson and waved his arm for him to follow then Aaron started to swim toward the stairwell. When they reached it the first set of steps were underwater, safety was finally within their sights but Aaron began to panic when he felt like he couldn't breathe any longer, he blew out some air and increased his pace, his feet touched the steps and he quickly began to crawl up into the air.

Once out of the water, Aaron fell onto his backside and sat at the top with his hand reaching into the water for Jackson to take, he felt his boyfriend's strong hands on his almost instantly and he pulled him up. Jackson fell onto Aaron, causing him to fall back. Jackson lay across his chest as he inhaled desperately; Aaron could feel his chest rising up and down against his own, he wrapped his arms around him quickly, needing to feel him.

Jackson looked up at Aaron who was lying with his eyes closed also recovering from the ordeal. "Thank you...thank you" he gasped as he moved off him and to his side. Aaron sat up and placed his hand around Jackson's neck and pulled him close, he could feel the water had reached the level they were sat on as he kissed his lips passionately. "Anytime" he whispered, their foreheads rested against one another's, both of them were shaking from the cold. "Come on we can't stay here" he added then got to his feet, pulling Jackson to his and they both turned and ran up the rest of the stairwell.

As they ran Aaron stopped, worry washing over his face. "Wh-Where Is he?"

"Adam?" Jackson asked.

He nodded quickly. "I left him here...he was coming around when I left him"

"He's probably gone to a safer area..." Jackson tried to reason, it was plausible.

"Yeah but this place isn't safe" Aaron sighed and rubbed his forehead. Jackson could see and feel the worry oozing from his boyfriend and placed a comforting hand on Aaron's shoulder.

"Listen to me, I know he's your mate, he's a good lad, clued up...he had to do whatever he needed too in this situation, he couldn't sit there forever...and now we, Aaron need to do what we have too, I'm sure he'll be fine"

Jackson's words hit a chord with Aaron and he agreed, it made sense, he nodded and they started walking up the last flight, stars were visible. "Yeah you're right, sorry"

"No need to- oh my.." Jackson stopped in his tracks as they reached the top. He was the first to see the devastation. Behind them both was the bow of the ship, well...the last five or so metres, the rest was gone, completely underwater. Aaron swallowed hard and he turned around to look at the rest of the ship, from where they were they could see a slight rise, nothing that would affect anything yet, but it would the ship was being slowly pulled under from the bow.

"Oh Jesus Jackson, what the hell..."

"Don't think about it, come on let's go..." Jackson advised and they walked away quickly. Although the boys had no idea of the relaxed atmosphere on the upper decks earlier it seemed passengers had gotten the message and as many as possible were now filling the boat deck, waiting for the lifeboats to be launched; crowded it certainly was, so many people it was frightening.

"Right listen Jackson..." Aaron's tone was urgent as they marched on quickly, through the crowds. "Whatever happens, and I mean whatever" Jackson nodded. "Don't let go of my hand, if I lost you...I...I..." Aaron stopped and sighed, Jackson tightened the grip on his hand.

"I won't, and we're going to be fine..." he smiled but doubt however crept into his mind, worry that they would not be okay, fear even but he tried his best to hide it. "Me and you, we need to experience that life together remember? Just me and you" his smile remained and he winked at Aaron.

Aaron smirked as they continued walking along the boat deck in search of a boat that was possibly letting men on. The odds of that happening were low however, but they could try. Fears weren't going to stop Jackson from trying to keep himself and Aaron alive, not a chance.

* * *

**TBC...**


	13. We Can But Try

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"We Can But Try"**

Hey Mcllst123, nice to hear from you again and thank you :) to answer your question I just write them as I go, I hope the story and pacing continues to please.

And thank you to my regular reviewers for your continued support and for the time you take to write your reviews. And to everyone else out there who reads my stories and chapters, thank you also; I really, really appreciate it! X

* * *

**_-Monday 15__th__ April 12.45am-_**

Chaos

It was all around, passengers filled the boat deck in a panic, the first lifeboat was about to be launched. Officers stood and helped the women and children into the lifeboat. Upsetting and heartbreaking goodbyes between wives and husbands, fathers and their children took place. Some women had to be man handled into the boat by the crew, young women couldn't bare being without their partner but time was running out, it had to be done. After settling the women into the boat, the officer ordered for it to be lowered.

Aaron and Jackson were inside the ship now in first class; Aaron was following a step or two behind Jackson. As they passed through the smoking room which was busy with gentlemen chatting, drinking and enjoying a cigar he noticed a bottle, he grinned and taking advantage of the situation he grabbed the whiskey and followed Jackson out into an open area, the grand staircase to be precise, he'd seen it on the tour Jackson had gave him days ago but they never really hung around, this time he would. "J-Jackson slo- slow down, I'm cold, wet and I need a rest..."he told him as he sat himself down on one of the steps of the luxurious staircase.

Jackson nodded. "Alright, alright not too long though" he told him then frowned when he started unscrewing the cap of the whiskey bottle. "Where did you get that?"

"Swiped it from in there, taking advantage of the situation, medicinal see...I'm freezing, and all I can taste is salt..." he shrugged sarcastically. "So...yeah that's about it..." he took a swig and swallowed the liquid which warmed his throat nicely. "They owe us after this anyway, they are responsible for this, so the least they'll let me do is sit here and drink they're fine whiskey and sit on this staircase for a little while...class doesn't count now, not in my book anyway"

Jackson smirked as he listened and sat down beside him, he looked around at the many people milling around. "You have a lot to say for yourself don't ya?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh yes" Aaron grinned as he passed the bottle to Jackson.

Jackson took it gratefully and took a swig. He looked down into the bottle then looked back up at Aaron. Aaron frowned. "What?"

Jackson shrugged lightly. "You...How can you be so flippant and calm? I mean that's great and I can be as flippant and calm too but not now...this Aaron, this is bad"

Aaron sighed he knew where Jackson was coming from. "I know, just a mechanism I suppose, don't think I don't know how bad this is because I do...but like I said, I need a minute, we both do..." he told him calmly and stopped, took a breath and started to speak again, softly now "Y-you could of died back there Jackson"

"You too" Jackson added equally as quiet.

"I know but I'd have rather helped you, e-" he stopped, sighed and closed his eyes he found it hard to find his words. "...even if it meant something happened to me, as long as you got out of there"

"I will always be grateful to you for what you did down there, however" he smirked. "I wouldn't have forgiven myself if something had happened to you"

"I wouldn't have if it did you...but we're here so" he smiled.

"And there he goes again, flippant as ever" Jackson smiled lovingly at him.

"Have to be...for the minute, all we have is now Jackson...and just in case-"

"Oh no...No, don't you dare"

Aaron sighed. "Jackson please"

"No, I don't want to hear it"

Aaron gave up and looked down at the floor and nodded. Seconds later he felt Jackson's hand squeeze his shoulder, he felt emotional, the tears wanted to fall but he stopped them, he lifted his arm and placed his hand over Jackson's and squeezed it.

Moments later Aaron frowned, he felt like he was slightly being pulled forward. "Jackson do you feel that?"

"Uh yeah I do..." Jackson replied as he looked up at the bright white dome above them.

"What do we do?"

"Nothing we can do...are you ready to carry on?"

"Yeah I suppose..." he turned and saw him looking up. "Looks good..."

"Looks like the white light, the doorway..." he looked at it thoughtfully, his eyes narrowed as they scanned it.

"Yeah well..." Aaron stood. "It's not ours. Come on..."

Jackson nodded and quickly got up and followed Aaron and moments later they were back out in the cold night air.

"_Why are these lifeboats only being filled half full?!" _Aaron and Jackson heard the thick Irish accent as soon as they walked out.

"Who's that?" Aaron inquired as he looked over at the man as his conversation continued.

"_...They have been tested with the weight of over seventy men, damn you man, fill the boats!" _

Jackson took in a deep breath; he was disgusted at what he had overheard. "That's Thomas Andrews, my boss good friend too; mother is well acquainted as you probably guessed..."

Aaron smirked. "I bet, she is the definition of celebrity, don't be forgetting that"

Jackson chuckled. "I don't think I ever will" he told him then a saddened look came over him.

...

Samantha was already seated in a lifeboat and was looking at Hazel impatiently who was still stood on the deck firm, unwilling to get in. "Hazel, get in this boat now, or so help me god!"

"Miss we do not have time for this, I've already refused passengers to go back and collect their belongings, I've pulled women from their men, if I have too, I will drag you in that boat, now come...move along..."

Hazel let out a laugh. "Have you seen the size of me darling? I doubt you'd manage"

"With all due respect, I'm sure I could...please..." the officer held out his arm, motioning for her to get in the lifeboat

"No...No I need to know if my son is okay"

Sam sighed. "Get in the damned boat! People are waiting!"

Hazel frowned. "Why do you even care?"

"Why do I care?" Sam frowned in shock at Hazel's words. "Why am I still here with you?"

Hazel nodded.

"You may have done some bad things Hazel but you are a lovely woman deep down and that is the Hazel I know, that's why. I know this voyage has been tough on both of us, and it's just got a whole lot worse...b-but...also you are Jackson's mum, I love him...I always will and he'd want me to look after you..."

"You talk like he's dead" she spat, scared at the thought.

"We may never know...Hazel...please?" Sam was now pleading. "Get in the boat..."

Hazel let out a sob and took hold of her dress, slightly lifting it up with one hand while the other was taken by the officer for assistance.

Jackson stopped in his tracks as he caught sight of her. Aaron frowned. "What's wrong?"

"My mum...over there..." he replied while staring at her.

Hazel turned around once in the boat and as she did she locked eyes on Jackson. Jackson swallowed hard when he saw that she'd seen him.

"Jackson, I'm not telling you what to do but maybe you should-"

Jackson shook his head at him.

"Why not?"

"Because of what she did to you"

Aaron sighed. "That really doesn't matter anymore Jackson...you have a chance right now to see her, say goodbye...do it...if I could see my mum right now I'd jump at the chance cause to tell the truth...I never thought I'd say this but I could do with talking to her" he smiled sadly. "Jackson go..."

Jackson smiled at him and nodded before quickly walking over. Jackson stood out of the way while other passengers got onto the boat and Hazel too had moved so they could see each other properly without bodies passing in between them. Hazel was crying. "I thought you were dead"

He smiled as he shook his head lightly. "I almost was..." he turned to Jackson. "He saved me mum"

Hazel turned and looked at Aaron but no eye contact was made. Despite who Aaron was to her, she had never being so grateful to anyone in her life. She turned back to Jackson. "Y-you need to get out of this Jackson"

Jackson lowered his head as his own tears surfaced. "I'm going to try...b-but I don't think I will, I'm scared mum"

Samantha sat behind Hazel wasn't looking at them, but she could hear their conversation and her eyes filled quickly with tears.

Jackson sobbed and the emotions caught his breath, he tried to calm down. Hazel reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. "You will, you're strong Jackson you always have been...I-I love you so much"

Jackson nodded as he cried. "I love you too"

Samantha wiped her tears away as she listened.

"I want you to know something" Hazel told him as she took his hands in hers. "I'm so proud of you" she smiled as the emotions were overwhelming, Jackson nodded. "And I want you to know that I' am so sorry for everything that I have done lately"

"Mum we've already-"

"Shh I know we have but I needed you to know again...c-c-could you tell your boy-...erm Aaron that I'm sorry, I can never make up for what I've done but I understand it all now...just tell him I'm sorry"

"_Lower away!" called out the officer. _

Jackson nodded and began to panic when the signal was called out and the boat began to slowly lower.

"Look after yourself son, I love you"

Their hands gently parted as the distance apart increased. "You too" he smiled and looked at her with teary eyes. He looked at the boat and his eyes locked onto Samantha's "I'm sorry" he mouthed.

Samantha smiled back as she nodded at him, a silent message that she was okay, that it was okay.

Jackson smiled he got the message, he got to his feet and wiped his eyes, he stood at the edge looking down until the boat was too far down. He turned and unexpectedly saw Aaron standing a metre or so behind. Aaron smiled at him.

"She wanted me to tell you that she knows she can never make up for what she'd done but she wants you to know she's sorry"

It felt like he'd been thumped in the chest. _Wow _he thought and unexpected tears rose to the surface, they completely caught him off guard, should he get emotional over that? He placed a hand on his hip and looked down at the deck, his free hand wiping away the tears. "I'm sorry I just...to me that was a sort of acceptance...and I never for one minute thought I needed it, never _felt_ like I needed it...but now..."

"You do?" Jackson asked.

"I guess" Aaron replied as he looked back up at him. "Yeah" he sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "So now what?"

Jackson shrugged then turned to the officer. "Excuse me? Is there any letting men on?"

"Not this side sir, starboard aft might be letting men on...can't promise anything though"

Jackson nodded and the boys quickly hurried along the boat deck, bumping into people, weaving through people then stopping to look up in awe as another distress rocket was launched, a loud bang then a bright white light lit up the ship and people, it held for a few seconds. Aaron stood staring at the sparks as they fell to the water.

* * *

**TBC...**

Feels like I've been doing this chapter all day! Yet it doesn't look like much lol...hope you liked it anyway


	14. Through All The Noise You Found Me

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Through All The Noise You Found Me"**

* * *

Titanic was sinking and now a definite noticeable slant could be felt as the water pulled the ship down. Crowds of women, children and men stood on the deck where each lifeboat was to be lowered, panic begin to infect everyone, officers had to push people back to give room for the passengers getting on the small boats. Some officers shot their guns in warning, and it worked, for a time at least.

Aaron and Jackson had been unsuccessful in finding a boat that would let men on. They hadn't lost hope though. They were sat on some steps leading to a higher area which was for maintenance. Rockets were being fired in random intervals, passengers, frightened for their lives clung onto deck chairs, anything that would float and then flung them overboard, then themselves over afterward. Other passengers were also climbing overboard and using the abandoned ropes used to lower the lifeboats to get down into the water.

Aaron watched tears ran down his face. What he was seeing, the enormity and devastation of the situation unfolding before his eyes rattled him to the core. He looked over and the band that would normally be playing in the first class areas were now on deck playing, he watched them…how could they simply carry on? They were brave, and he respected them. Then another thought crept into his mind, he and Jackson were brave too, among the chaos they were motionless, sat waiting for what was to come.

"The boat is sinking Jackson and we're just sat here on a step, there has to be something we can do"

"Really? Does it look like it? We've already checked the boats; they are not taking men on, what the hell do you suggest we do!? We have to stay on as long as possible" Jackson spoke, his words not meant in anger at Aaron.

Aaron knew that and he nodded, and then frowned. "But we're just sat talking"

"Yeah well we're weird like that"

Aaron sighed and nodded, under normal circumstances he'd probably have laughed but not tonight. He looked down at his hands they were red with cold, he held them together and placed them to his mouth and blew, his hot breath warming them, he revelled in the sensation, for a seconds or two, it wouldn't last long.

Jackson noticed how cold Aaron was, he turned and sat facing him and grabbed his hands and held them tightly in his own. A small smile spread across his lips when they locked eyes on each other. Aaron smiled back, grateful for Jackson. His eyes narrowed and he looked down at their hands locked together. "You know I never thought this would be how it would all end" Aaron spoke, his voice cracking as he realised the seriousness of his words.

"Hey…" Jackson began. "Don't think like that"

Aaron closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "I'm numb now Jackson…I-I can't…" he swallowed hard. "That water it-…"

"Listen, I know Aaron I do…but whatever happens I will be right with you"

Aaron nodded and looked back up at Jackson. "I'm not normally like this you know"

"Well what are you usually like?" Jackson smirked.

"A hard man" Aaron said as he began to laugh.

Jackson pouted then nodded. "Yep…yep I can see that actually"

"I'm erm…moody, don't talk to anyone really, good with my fists…I keep everything in…what's strange is since coming on this ship, it's all changed, I've changed"

"I suppose leaving your home would do that"

"Yeah but I never expected being beaten up, falling in love and having to put up with my boyfriend's mother" Aaron smiled.

Jackson watched him with complete adoration and love. "I'm so glad I met you"

"Me too" Aaron replied with a smile.

The boys were silent for a few minutes until Aaron spoke again. "How did you know you were gay?" he asked in a quiet voice.

Jackson pouted as he mulled over his boyfriends question. He let out a deep breath and he could see through the coldness of the air. "I wasn't really bothered about girls' attention; obviously I've been with them but I found myself looking elsewhere to the men around town, lads my age" Jackson shrugged. "And I liked what I saw, I didn't think it was wrong, yeah I was startled by it because you grow up thinking that it's a man and a woman but I didn't necessarily think too much about it" he explained. "Then of course there's my mother"

Aaron rolled his eyes with a smirk and nodded.

"When I was younger she caught me with a friend, we were kissing and she kicked off, threatened to tell my dad unless I saw a psychiatrist" Jackson then rolled his eyes and Aaron's eyes widened in shock he hadn't expected that, not initially anyway but when he thought about it what else could he really expect from the older bolshie woman.

Jackson sat staring, dragging the past up was something that didn't come easy but he wanted to share everything with Aaron, so he would continue.

"It's okay" Aaron reassured him. He didn't want him talking about it if he didn't want too; he was just interested in him, in his life before Titanic.

Jackson smiled reassuring him. "I did see a psychiatrist cause I didn't want my dad finding out...but then it didn't really matter because that same week he left…" Jackson swallowed hard and frowned at his thoughts. "Sometimes I wonder if he left because he did know and he couldn't deal with it, it's not the right thing...imagine the 'disgrace' for him"

"Aww Jackson I'm sure that's not true" Aaron told him as he tightened his grip on his hands.

Jackson scoffed 'I'll never know...this is all kinda new to me...the secret it was all putting a strain on me"

Aaron nodded as he listened intently.

"Some people found out and threatened to tell my mum, this was a few years later but I actually almost told her myself but sadly I just decided it was easier to be with a woman, but I think from that day when she found me with that lad she was always on guard and she knew. But then four days ago I met you and you changed everything, your outlook to life is so simple and I don't mean that in a patronising way I just mean you just look at things and it's like fuck it...you don't care and I admire you so much for that, for a lot of things." Jackson wiped tears quickly from his eyes and smiled at Aaron who was teary too, well he was trying to hide it but Jackson could tell. "You've taught me a lot in such a short space of time and for that and for all of you I love you so much Aaron"

Aaron smiled warmly as he stared into Jackson's big dark eyes and he couldn't sit still any longer he moved forward and hugged him tightly. "I love you too" he whispered and gave him a quick soft peck on his neck as he pulled back.

Seconds later Aaron was unexpectedly dragged to his feet and slammed into a wall by a very angry looking older male passenger. Aaron frowned and tried to fight back to get loose from the man's grip. Jackson was stood right next to the man. "What the hell are you doing!" Jackson yelled.

The older man turned to him. "What he just did, what you were both doing is wrong! I don't condone it whatsoever but you're in the presence of other people!" the man argued.

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed before fighting back and pushing the older man away while he was distracted replying to Jackson's words.

Jackson watched on and swallowed hard. Aaron was angry. He could tell.

The veins in his neck were bulging and a surge of adrenaline coursed through his veins. "Do you NOT think there are bigger problems right now than picking on two men who happen to be in love?" Aaron screamed as he pointed angrily at the man, other people were now watching on but he didn't care.

"It's not right"

"Do I look like I give a damn? It's right to me, just like it's 'right' for you to kiss your wife goodbye before she got on that boat, I just watched you like I've watched many people tonight! But hang on…what if I don't want to see it? Oh yeah that doesn't matter because a man and a woman comes under the category of normal doesn't it?" Aaron spoke with bite and a raw anger. "This is normal to me, to him and I will do what I like when and where I want, he will too because we are NOT ashamed!" Aaron warned as he looked around at his audience. "It's nobody's business and you _mate _picked a fight with the wrong person so I suggest you fucking jog on otherwise I will tear you to shreds, I love this man and there's nothing you will do to stop me showing that, who do you think you are to judge someone you have no idea about? You don't know me, know anything about my life…" he frowned angrily and shook his head. "Now I'm going now, if anyone else dares to disapprove, you'll regret it" Aaron warned them and turned. "Jackson!" he called to him and started walking up the ship, walking was slowly becoming a strain as the ship was slowing rising to a vertical point.

Jackson followed him quickly not before glancing over at the man before he left the area. Aaron was seething, his breathing was heavy and he really wanted to punch something.

"Wow" Jackson said with a smile as he caught up with his fired up boyfriend. "I think you need to relax"

"Relax!" Aaron stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Jackson, who had also stopped. "Are you being serious?" he sighed and apologised when he realised his error.

"It's alright, don't apologise to me, it's fine…come on let's get up there and we'll find a spot and we won't move till we're in that water"

"Oh the things we've got to look forward too" he smirked.

Jackson chuckled. "We have got a lot to look forward too" he told him then started walking again. "Only thing keeping me going to be honest" he added as Aaron started to follow him. They walked through the crowds and against an ever rising ship they attempted to make it to the stern.

* * *

**TBC….**


	15. Death Of Titanic

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Death Of Titanic"**

* * *

People were now running up the steep boat deck, clinging onto the railings, equipment anything that would help them. Officers had given orders to uncover the collapsible lifeboats from a higher deck, they were lowered by planks of wood resting up against the wall of the small building, seamen were above aiding with the lowering of the boats but water was rushing toward them quickly and they had to hurry, attempts to lower the collapsible safely failed the boat fell to the deck causing the crowd of panic stricken passengers and the officers to step back out of its way. The officers held the passengers back until the boat could be uncovered. Water was now over their ankles and was raising quickly, everyone worked as fast as they could and eventually the passengers made a quick move for the empty lifeboat; every man for himself.

The ship was quickly reaching its vertical limit, passengers far off in the lifeboats watched as the stern of the Titanic rose out of the water revealing the three propellers, two twenty three foot long and the slightly smaller central propeller. Water quickly ran from them and from the underside of the ship and like thousands of showers the water fell down back into the ocean and onto the people fighting for their lives.

Aaron and Jackson finally reached the stern after forcing their way through the crowds that were almost at a standstill and enduring a nearby priest holding onto something for dear life while 'followers' stood before him listening to his prayer. Aaron had sighed and rolled his eyes. "What a load of bullshit" he exclaimed much to Jackson's surprise. The boys clung to each other as the ship continued to rise, all around them people held onto railings, other people; it was a horrible sight to see, a sight that should not even be happening. Aaron knew one thing, he'd always remember.

Jackson reached out and placed his hand on Aaron's face, he could see the fear in his eyes. "Hey…" he smiled. "This is where we first met"

Aaron looked around and began to smile, he remembered – Jackson approached him late one night and they got talking and it all went on from there, he never regretted it. Tears filled Aaron's eyes and he moved to kiss him but as he re-positioned himself his foot slipped.

"AARON!" Jackson screamed as he reached out but it was too late, Aaron quickly slid down the ship at an alarming speed.

Aaron stopped when he crashed down into the freezing Atlantic Ocean, his breath was immediately taken from him as the shock to his system was too much, a lot of people were around as he scrambled to his feet, he watched as other passengers were fighting over a lifeboat refusing anyone else entry for fear of being swamped. He looked up at the rising ship and tears ran down his face, an overwhelming cry left him, he struggled and being separated from the man he loved made things worse. Jackson was right at the top, he was at the water level, still probably hundreds of metres away. Aaron jumped at the sound of a very loud whipping noise and the splash of the water in a straight line inches away from him, he looked around. _What the hell was that? _He thought to himself as the same thing happened again but nowhere near him, then again several metres away, he looked up and his eyes widened in horror at the sight he was witnessing. One of the funnels has broken off and was slowly falling to the water, creaking and grinding metallic sounds filled the area. "Oh shit!" he shouted in a panic, he was directly in its path, her dived out of its way quickly but what came next was somewhat of a rollercoaster. The impact had caused an enormous wave of water and had pushed Aaron into a large metallic piece of equipment used for lowering the boats, the first thing he felt was the stinging, he'd hit his head, just above his eye. He jumped up out of the water gasping for air as he turned to see the large separated funnel sinking underneath the water, Aaron's injuries could have been worse, much worse. The thought of being squashed to death wasn't really compelling. "Okay, okay…got to move" he told himself and he forced himself to move and to walk out of the water, back onto the deck and to climb his way back to the top, whatever was necessary.

Jackson wanted to cry, he'd kept his eye on him for as long as he could but Aaron got lost in the crowds of people. He knew what he was about to do would lose him, both of them there place of safety but he had to make a move, he had to, he loved Aaron with all of his heart, and he would do anything to get to him. So as he let out a deep breath he climbed over the crowd of people around him, holding onto the railing as he made his way to the side railings of the ship to use essentially as a ladder system, sliding down may have been faster but posed more risks.

All he could hear were screams, loud splashes of the water from people jumping off the ship as he climbed up again. Aaron swallowed hard, could falling from such a height kill? He didn't intend to find out. But then again it was probably quicker than freezing to death, he preferred that when he thought about it... _why not get it over with now? Get high enough and jump…hit the propeller on the way down…_he thought and closed his eyes. _Don't be stupid Aaron, Jackson's up there…you love him…he loves you, it'll be fine…_his thoughts continued for a few seconds but stopped when he saw Jackson on the other side of the railings. His eyes widened in shock, Jackson was breathless he could see that, but then again so was he. "I-I've never moved so fast…" Jackson told him with a chuckle as he held out his hand for Aaron to take.

Aaron grinned and moved forward and reached out his own. "God I love you, I thought that was it, that I'd-" he stopped mid-sentence as the entire ship fell into darkness. "J-Jackson…what's going on?" he asked in a panic.

"The power's gone Aaron...it lasted longer than expected…come on, grab my-" Jackson too stopped mid-sentence as a deafening crack could be heard and the source of that was between Aaron's legs.

Aaron froze and he looked down at the split deck beneath his feet, spikes of wood pointed outward and both lads and people around them had no idea what to do. Jackson forced himself to do something. All Aaron could think was now he really was done for. "AARON, GRAB MY HAND NOW!" he shouted as he slowly began to climb as the ship began to separate. Aaron jumped onto one side and just looked at Jackson then ran to him, the railing anything just for something to hold onto but he couldn't, an explosion ripped through the separation in the deck and Aaron jumped to avoid it but only just. Jackson watched in horror at Aaron jumping out of the way and down into the water.

He blinked away his tears then an overwhelming sick feeling came over him as the raised stern fell back into the water, his body was jolted and he lost his footing on the railings as the ship impacted but he managed to find his feet and place them firmly onto the railings and climb, he was distraught as he looked down at the many bodies in the water, some motionless and some swimming away.

Aaron swam away from the ship as fast as he could but the cold began to inhibit his movements. He turned to look at the once great ship that was now in its last moments and it began to rise again, only much quicker this time. Within a few seconds the stern of Titanic was standing vertical in the water, bobbing like a cork. He couldn't believe his eyes, the screams but yet the also eerie silence that seemed to drown out those screams was now etched into his memory, along with many things from this fateful night. He swallowed hard, all he could think about was Jackson, he needed to be okay, if he lost him now he didn't see any point in living.

Jackson pressed his forehead against the cold railing. He held tight onto them and listened to the loud creaks as the ship began its final journey. Erupting bursts of air imploded outward from the base of the separated stern as it filled with water as it began to descend into the Atlantic. Jackson opened his eyes, he couldn't stay on board any longer, the suction would pull him down with the ship, he had to get away. He looked all around him at the people clinging on for dear life, he wouldn't be one of them. He blew out a deep breath and propelled himself from the side of the ship, seconds later the coldness of the water covered him but he came up almost instantly and he turned to look at the ship. He hadn't jumped far enough away but at least he had a head start, he turned away and swam as fast as possible.

Aaron had no idea where Jackson was and he bowed his head after he watched the ship sink beneath the water. He closed his eyes tight and his shoulders jerked as the emotion took hold of him and he let it all out. Screams of thousands of people quickly filled the dark expanse of the sinking site, he remained quiet and looked up at the bright stars that filled the night sky, there were millions of them but two stars in particular - the two that were very close together that he had found a few nights ago and used to signify himself and Jackson, he cried silently as he stared up at them; if those were the last things he saw, then he guessed he'd be okay with that.

* * *

**TBC…**


	16. Safe In My Heart

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Safe In My Heart"**

Hi guys thanks for your continued support from reading and reviewing or both it means a lot. Just to let you know there is a similarity in this chapter to that of the movie.

* * *

Jackson could feel a lot of air bubbles around him as the suction from the Titanic threatened to pull him under, but with his slight head start he wasn't pulled deep enough for there to be any danger. He kicked for the surface but what seemed like forever was only a few seconds and Jackson reappeared above the water gasping for air and flapped around in the freezing water in a panic as he got his bearings. He was one of fifteen hundred people in the sea, one life just as important as the person near him, sadly however many people around him were already dead or were fading quickly and there was nothing he could do. Screams and helpless cries filled the area and he heard the words "Return the boats!" being yelled from quite a distance. Jackson had no lifebelt on him but he was able to keep himself afloat, he spun in a circle looking for anyone that could be Aaron. He let out a heavy sigh and yelled for him. "AARON!" he dropped his head in frustration as he realised the chances of finding him among all of these people.

Aaron frowned, he'd heard his name being called and despite feeling weak he began to swim in the direction of the voice and he was aware that he may not be the only Aaron in the water but he had high hopes it was Jackson. He hoped to god it was.

Jackson shuddered in the water, he knew this was going to be the outcome but to prepare himself for it, he realised he couldn't possibly have. His jaw slowly began to ache from his chattering teeth, he looked around in the darkness and several metres away he saw something floating on the water, he frowned and lunged himself forward and began to swim.

Aaron fell forward in the water, his weakened state worsened by the minute but the ice water on his face forced him back to reality, he was alert again for however long it would last and he picked up the pace as best he could. "JACKSON!" he screamed out until his throat hurt. "JACKSON!" he yelled again after catching a breath.

Jackson turned quickly as he grabbed hold of the large chunk of debris; he was frowning as he searched for the familiar voice, the voice of the man he loved. His eyes widened as he saw splashes of water up ahead, his heart began to race and the only reason it did was because the area he was in was sadly much quieter than the rest of the site of survivors. "Aaron" Jackson spoke with a raised voice.

"Oh god, oh god…i-it's me…" Aaron told him as he began to cry as he swam toward him.

Jackson couldn't move, he was too stunned too, but when he felt Aaron's body up against his and his arms wrapped around his neck he wrapped his free arm around him tightly.

"I-I thought you were…"

Jackson shook his head as Aaron pulled away and looked him right in the eyes and Jackson burst into tears and kissed him with such passion there was no doubt of his love for Aaron. "Are you okay?"

"I'm tired Jackson, everything aches"

Jackson nodded quickly. "Right, come on get on this…I'll help you"

Aaron placed his hands on the large piece of wooden debris and began to pull himself up. Jackson pushed himself under the water and grabbed Aaron's legs and lifted him up giving him a boost. Aaron was out of the water and rolled on his stomach to see where Jackson was. He waited with baited breath. "You better get back up here or I swe-" he stopped as soon as Jackson reappeared, both boys let out a deep breath, Jackson's for air and Aaron's for relief. "Don't do that again" Aaron warned.

Jackson shook his head. "I don't plan to…immense brain freeze" he explained as he shut his eyes tight and rubbed his temples with his free hand, his other clinging onto the debris. He opened his eyes again and smiled at Aaron, he was safe…well it was better than being in the water at least. "Yo-you just stay there, you'll be alright…"

"You're getting on this too…" Aaron said and Jackson shook his head. "Err why?" he demanded.

"Because you'll end up right back in the water"

"You haven't even tried!"

"A-Aaron, listen you've been in the water longer than I have…"

"So"

"Will you be quiet?" Jackson said with a chuckle.

"Oh yeah because this is very amusing!" he sighed and rolled his eyes and Jackson just looked at him which made him be quiet.

"Don't worry about me, the boats will be coming for us"

"I'm not disputing that the boats will come back alright but I do worry, I have worried about you since this entire mess began, the time it takes to sort those boats and for some to come back is _too_ long now get on this chunk of wood now!" he warned harshly.

"I just told y-"

"I don't care what you just told me, you haven't even tried!"

"Not yet, just relax babe…please…" Jackson spoke gently. "Enjoy it because when we get out of this you'll be sharing a bed so you won't have much room then"

Aaron appreciated what Jackson was trying to do, thinking positive and it made him smile, sharing a bed with Jackson was something he couldn't wait to do again, but he was sad, a distraught mess. "I won't be if your dead though will I?"

"Don't underestimate me just yet"

Aaron shook his head as he lay flat on his stomach and rested his chin on his folded arms. "I never have" he told him softly. A few moments of silence passed between them before Aaron spoke again. "Something tells me the company you work for are in some major trouble"

Jackson smirked. "Oh, they're done for…"

Aaron didn't need reply, he knew why, losing a liner on its maiden voyage would instigate a major investigation, and the loss of lives. How do they explain that exactly?

"We're going to get out of this Aaron"

Aaron pouted slightly and an eyebrow arched. "Somehow I doubt that"

"We made it this far"

"To the end"

"No…No Aaron don't think that"

"It's hard not too Jackson…y-you know when I fell…" Jackson nodded. "I started to climb again but then this wire whipped into the water right next to me, I look up and its one of the funnels…it snapped and came crashing down…I jumped obviously, hurt myself for it but then I thought about ending it…climbing so far for me then to just jump…hit…hit something, anything on the way down, anything had to be better than this, and this is exactly how I imagined it to be, aching, shivering so much you don't even realise you're doing it, and the tiredness, the lack of energy…" tears ran down his face as he explained. "I did think about ending it but the thought of finding you again pushed all those thoughts aside…and I did" he smiled at him warmly.

Jackson nodded, crying himself too. "I understand everything you're saying and this is the worst bit of it all probably but you have to trust me, we will make it, we found each other again – _twice! _That has to count for something" Aaron nodded. "I love you Aaron and me and you…we'll get out of this…"

Aaron let his eyes close gently as he sighed, his breath clear to see in the cold of the air. He nodded in reply. "I know" he said as he tightened the grip on Jackson's hand. "I know…I-I'm just so tired"

Jackson watched him closely, he wasn't bothered about himself he was just completely worried about his boyfriend. Those boats had to come and quickly.

* * *

**TBC…**


	17. Hurt Lovers

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912-**

**"Hurt Lovers"**

* * *

Jackson floated in the water in front of Aaron who was lying facing him on the large chunk of debris. Jackson's eyes were opening and closing, he was feeling weak – he knew now how Aaron had felt earlier when they'd reunited in the water. He let out a deep breath and opened his eyes slowly and focussed on his boyfriend. A small smile spread across his lips; somehow the sight of him warmed him and the numbness he felt vanished – if only; it was only his imagination, but the sight of Aaron Livesy still gave him butterflies, he always would. "It's getting quiet" Jackson stuttered then began to cough.

Aaron nodded and for the first time noticed the ice on Jackson's hair, eyebrows and along his beard, he knew he was probably suffering the ice the same. "Jackson, please get on here" his tone was desperate and frightened.

Jackson breathed in deeply as his body continuously shuddered, he shook his head. "Y-Y-you have to be safe Aaron"

Aaron pulled himself toward Jackson a little more and rested his forehead against Jackson's. "Listen, I appreciate the selfless act I do but when it comes down to me being without you I don't even want to imagine my life so please I' am begging you Jackson, get your arse on this chunk of wood now or I'm getting back in the water"

Jackson pulled back and looked him in the eyes, his forehead wrinkled as he frowned defining the ice layer on his skin in the process. "You wouldn't"

"It's your choice" Aaron told him and clenched his jaw; he was ready to carry out his threat. "We've come too far to lose each other already, four days Jackson, _**four days**_…" he sighed. "Why just four days when we can…" his voice cracked at the emotion as the lump in his throat could be felt. "…W-When we can have the rest of our lives?" he cried.

Jackson began to cry too. "I'm scared Aaron…I-I had to try and save you, I love you so, so much"

Aaron wiped his tears away and nodded. "I love you too Jackson" he told him then he sat up precariously on his knees causing the debris to wobble slightly then he moved his hand to let go of Jackson's but it wouldn't. "Fair enough" he muttered. "Jackson, I'm going to pull, you have to help yourself too"

Jackson really had no idea what was going on he was so confused and so weak but he nodded anyway then immediately felt a pull on his body. Aaron moved back along the debris so Jackson's body could get onto it. With his free hand Jackson placed it on the debris and pushed himself along then found himself flat on his face, his legs however still in the water.

Aaron nodded; it was all good so far. He breathed heavily and then held onto Jackson's wrist and attempted to pull his hand off Jackson's, it was a struggle but seconds later both hands were realised from the ice seal; which freed Aaron to moved carefully around Jackson and pull his legs out of the water. Then out of sheer exhaustion he lay on his back beside Jackson, his eyes closing slowly then reopening again. "There…" he panted his chest rose up and down quickly. "Y-You'll be okay…I promise"

"I'm so cold" Jackson shakily replied.

Aaron turned to look at Jackson. "I'll get us out of this Jackson, trust me"

"I trust you" he told him with a nod then propped himself up onto his elbows and looked around, all he could see were the other passengers in the darkness. He could see a light in the distance, he sighed if it was a lifeboat coming back it was too far away. He lay down again on his back and looked at Jackson who seemed to be coming around a bit more, Aaron smiled at him then Jackson shuffled closer and placed his arm over him and they both silently looked up at the bright filled night sky. "I can't believe what's happened" Aaron spoke but his voice was rapidly becoming raspy from the cold and it was a strain.

"Me either"

"Why? How?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"We know why but we won't know the details until there's an investigation, you shouldn't be worrying about this right now Aaron"

Aaron nodded and closed his eyes as Jackson leaned up over him, he frowned in concern. "How's your head?" he asked softly as he looked over the deep gash above his eye.

Aaron opened his eyes and smirked. "That's the least of my worries Jackson" he replied as he reached upward and cupped his boyfriend's cheek.

"Well it's really a worry for me right now" Jackson sat up as carefully as he could. "Can you move?"

Aaron nodded and lifted himself up by his arms but they gave way, his entire body was becoming tensed. "Woah, it's alright babe…" Jackson said as he assisted him and pulled Aaron into him. Aaron's back was resting against Jackson's chest with Jackson's arms tightly around him and he lowered his head so it was cupped in the crook of Aaron's neck and the worsened situation quickly dawned on him once more as Aaron deteriorated again, a mix of the freezing temperature and the bang to the head, he was scared. He inhaled and Aaron's smell filled his senses, it brought tears of happiness but mostly in that moment tears of sadness.

"Jackson" Aaron began weakly as his body shuddered. "I-I'm glad we've had this last bit of time"

Jackson bit his lip and closed his eyes. "This isn't the las-"

"Shh…"he told him then began to cough and Jackson rubbed his chest to try and soothe him. "L-Let me get this out…"

Jackson nodded. "Okay"

"You are perfect, you really are" Aaron began again and turned his head upward to look into Jackson's teary eyes. "From the moment I saw you I knew…obviously I didn't know about you but for me, I just knew…and I' am so happy you came along that night and talked to me" Aaron said then smiled weakly. "Because everything changed, I did and that's down to you…b-before I was on Titanic I wasn't a nice person" Aaron swallowed hard and winced at the strain from it. "And never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd meet someone as special as you. I love you Jackson and if this is the last moments then I want you to know that, I want you to know how grateful I' am to you for everything" Aaron's smile grew. "For looking back at me when we first saw each other…f-for making love to me in my cabin and being so thoughtful and gentle, you are a beautiful person and don't ever let anyone tell you any different…you'll always have these memories"

"A-A-" Jackson was inconsolable from Aaron's words, his breathing hitched as he sobbed. "Aaron, you're not going to die"

"But I don't feel so good Jackson"

"I know babe, I know…me either but we've got to fight" granted Jackson didn't have any head trauma but he needed to find a way for Aaron to at least try.

"I can't" he told him with a sigh. "I've got no energy" his eyes closed. "I-I just want to go home"

"By tomorrow afternoon we'll have our own place" Jackson smiled down at him as his tears still fell and Aaron opened his eyes again and smiled widely.

"I'd like that"

"Me too" Jackson replied with a nod. "We could get a dog"

Aaron chuckled. "I had a dog once"

"Yeah?" Jackson beamed happily; keeping him talking was what he needed to do.

Aaron smiled. "Yeah, a German shepherd, I called him Clyde" he told him as he remembered. "Had him for a good few years but he died…"

"Oh I'm sorry Aaron…I-I…"

"It's alright, we had that animal, human bond…it was the best thing ever until lately…I was devastated"

"I bet…my mum never let us have any pets…" Jackson scoffed. "Too much to consider apparently, might have messed up the pristine house, she never once considered I'd help with it, nah she just said it wasn't a good idea…I was proper excited as well, but you don't always get what you want and well it is my mother after all" Jackson explained with a smirk.

"Yeah, your mother might have been nice toward me when she got in that lifeboat but I'm sorry she's still a bitch"

Both boys then fell into a fit of laughter, the only sound around them and it faded seconds later. Aaron let out a deep breath. "Me and Adam had a good laugh…I might not have had the courage to face up to my feelings towards you without him, he was a one off and the only mate I've ever had"

Jackson nodded as he looked at Aaron thoughtfully. "Mmm…well I owe him everything, one day I'll shake his hand"

Aaron shook his head sadly.

"Aaron he might be okay"

"We don't know that"

"He could have found a boat or something…and if he has they're going to the same place we are and anyway he needs to be alive cause he's going to be your best man"

Aaron scrunched his face. "What?" he asked breathlessly and not from the cold but from the impact of Jackson's words.

"I-I know it sounds-"

"We-We can't Jackson"

"No I know that but you know, me and you…could be our secret, could declare it between ourselves and there you go" Jackson grinned happily.

"A-Are you asking me to-?"

Jackson cut him off as he nodded intently. "Yes Aaron I'm asking you, will you be my husband?"

Aaron's eyes lit up and he lifted himself up as best he could and kissed Jackson passionately on the lips. "In my head I already was" he whispered.

Jackson nodded as their foreheads rested against one another's. Moments later both of them separated quickly and looked around they'd heard something. Jackson rested on his knees and looked around and saw a light in the distance. "A-Aaron, there's a boat!" Jackson said in upmost relief as he began to wave his arms. "There's a boat!" When no reply came Jackson turned and Aaron was lying with his eyes closed. Jackson panicked and turned to face the far off boat. "Help us! Help us!" he screamed.

…..

_Help Us! _Jackson shot up into a sitting position in the chair, he rubbed his eyes quickly and felt the material of a blanket fall down off his shoulders; he looked around the room and his exhausted eyes caught sight of Aaron asleep in a hospital bed, and the portholes lining the walls reminded him of where they were, the RMS Carpathia. After Jackson had screamed desperately for help, the officer and seamen on the lifeboat had heard his call and several minutes later arrived at their position and Jackson helped them get his unconscious Aaron into the boat and wrapped up warm with blankets, there were another four survivors in the boat.

"_I-Is there anymore?" Jackson asked shakily as a blanket was wrapped around him. The officer shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid not sir" _

_Jackson sighed and lowered his head. Six out of well over a thousand people; He just wanted to cry, cry for Aaron, himself and all of those people but one thing was certain his feelings were certainly shared by the people in the boat with them. _

Jackson stood up slowly from the chair; his entire body was stiff and aching. He reached the bed and placed a hand on the safety bar and another on Aaron's cheek, his face had almost regained its colour but a shade of paleness remained. Jackson frowned as he began to remember the encounter with the nurse after Aaron had being seen too. _"We're warming him up and we've sealed the cut on his head, without the blood it doesn't look too bad" she smiled and Jackson nodded. "I-Is he family?"_

_Jackson had nodded and smiled. "Yeah"_

"_Ahh I thought so, brothers are you?" she had asked as she busied herself as she checked over Aaron. _

_That question absolutely stumped Jackson…yes family in the sense of the question he'd asked Aaron hours earlier….he had forgot, forgot for a second that he was back in that world. He exhaled and nodded, although annoyed he knew it wasn't the nurse's fault. "Erm, yeah…brothers" he replied with a smile. _

"Brother's?" Jackson snorted as he came out of his thoughts and watched over his boyfriend. "Seriously? Well it's best they think that way I suppose…" he told him as he reached for Aaron's hand and held it. "I told you you'd be fine, so now you can wake up and kiss me…you've been asleep long enough"

"Says you…you can snore for England mate" Aaron replied groggily, keeping his eyes closed on purpose to surprise him, then he opened his eyes to see the happiness on his boyfriends face and then his tears. Aaron nodded in sympathy. "I know, I know" he soothed him as he held out his arms for Jackson to take.

Jackson sobbed in Aaron's arms.

"I won't scare you like that again"

"It's alright, you didn't do it on purpose" Jackson told him and Aaron shook his head as Jackson let go of Aaron and pulled himself up. "I love you Aaron"

Aaron smiled and went to reply when there was a knock on the door and the nurse entered. "I'm sorry to disturb you but you have a visitor…and they were very surprised to hear of your survival" she informed them with a smile.

Aaron frowned, as did Jackson. _Who is it? _They both thought. "Can't get rid of us that easily" Aaron said with a smirk. "Show the mystery visitor in then"

The nurse nodded. "Of course, we'll be arriving in New York in a few hours, once we get there you will be transferred to a hospital so they can check you over more thoroughly and unfortunately statements will need to be taken"

Aaron sighed and nodded, as did Jackson the prospect of reliving their nightmare wasn't something they wished to do.

The nurse nodded and left the room. "You may enter" they both heard her say and they waited, intrigued…

* * *

**TBC….**


	18. New Lives Part II

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"New Lives Part II"**

* * *

With teary eyes Hazel walked into the room, her hands were clasped together in front of her and they held her handbag firmly. Both boys' eyes widened, completely stunned to see her there, it was something they had never expected to happen.

Jackson looked intensely at her as he began to cry silently. "Mum?" he asked shakily as if not believing what he was seeing as he stepped over to her.

Hazel wiped her eyes and smiled at her son and Aaron. "Thank god you're both alright" she told them and Jackson wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Aaron frowned immediately as he watched on, she was pleased he was alright? He never thought he'd hear that one. He watched as Hazel and Jackson separated. "You…too Hazel" he told her then cleared his throat. "I-Is Samantha alright?"

Hazel looked toward Aaron and nodded. "She's fine, just warming up still…we all are"

Aaron looked down at the bed sheet over him as images flashed into the forefront of his mind; he shut his eyes tightly in an attempt to ban the images he'd rather forget. He shook his head and opened his eyes again wide.

"As soon as I saw the survivor list from the water and your name on it Jackson…w-well both you know" she smiled nervously. "Aaron…I-I had to see if it was right, I had to see for myself and here you are" she placed her hands over her mouth as she battled with her emotions. Jackson placed his hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright mum, we're fine"

Hazel nodded and composed herself then quickly apologised.

"I'm so glad you're okay" Jackson told her and she nodded and smiled in reply then pulled him into a hug again.

Aaron watched for a few seconds but looked away again and let out a sigh, a disheartened feeling fell over him, he felt bad for coming between them, despite the cracks that were already forcing them apart. But still she was his mother and he was her son. Aaron however loved the bones of Jackson and couldn't ever let him go. Selfish? Aaron pouted. Maybe, but it was his happiness at stake.

Jackson's words grabbed Aaron's attention and he looked over to them again. "…ever want to lose you mum, I know you don't approve of who I' am but I love you so much. I need you in my life mum, please?" he pleaded as tears ran down his face.

Hazel was emotional too and she searched her sons eyes then glanced over toward Aaron who had pure love in his eyes for her son Hazel smiled at Jackson. "One day at a time eh? Soft lad" she smirked as she stroked his cheek.

Jackson smiled at his mum, then wiped his eyes and let out a breath to calm down. "I erm, I wanna go and check on Samantha if that's ok?" he asked in general but looked at Aaron who simply smiled and nodded. "Mum, can you stay with Aaron? I don't want him to be on his own" Silence passed between them for a few seconds before Hazel began to speak.

"If that's alright with Aaron?" she asked.

"Oh y-yeah, course it is" Aaron told her.

"Alright then" Hazel smiled and began to walk over to the chair by the bed. "She's just on the deck; the sun is shining its quite warm"

Jackson gave a nod before he left the room as Hazel sat down in the chair. Aaron lay looking up at the ceiling and Hazel sat looking towards the door of the room. Hazel swallowed hard; this was not about her anymore. "How are you feeling Aaron?" she asked in a kind, genuine tone that even Aaron couldn't miss.

He frowned, he'd have at least expected some warnings, threats even once Jackson was out of ear shot but what he did get was a hint of the gentle woman she could be. "I'm alright thanks Mrs. Rhodes, thanks to Jackson, he saved me, more than once" he smiled.

"Hazel, call me Hazel. You really love my Jackson don't you?" her eyes assessing Aaron's.

"Yeah, with all my heart" he replied with an affirmative nod.

"Well then" she said as she got to her feet and walked over to a cabinet where a jug of water was sitting on top. "I'm happy" she concluded.

Aaron smiled as he fiddled with the bed sheet and hadn't seen it yet and he certainly wasn't expecting himself to react in such a way but when he looked up, a clear plastic cup with water in was within a few centimetres of his hands and he was horrified, he began to panic and sweat. Aaron was frightened and he swiped the cup from Hazel's hand, drenching himself in the process. "Oh god!" he shrieked painfully as he covered his face with his wet hands and dropped his head back into the pillow. "I-I'm so sorry…I dunno what-" he swallowed hard and wiped his hands down his face.

"Hey" she soothed him as she stroked his hair. "Don't you worry about that, it's just water"

"Th-That's the problem" he panted, his chest raised and fell quickly, his panic clearly evident.

Hazel opened her mouth to speak but didn't eventually as she began to try and comprehend the enormity of Aaron's experiences that previous night. "Do you want me to get Jackson?"

"Oh, no" he shook his head. "Please, he doesn't need to know alright…I'll be fine" he nodded to her and smiled.

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Yes just please don't tell him, he's recovering too he doesn't need this as well"

Hazel objected to that but she would do as he wished.

….

The deck was cramped with Titanic survivors but Jackson and Samantha were walking around everyone as they spoke. "I never thought I'd see you again" Samantha told him.

Jackson nodded and squinted as he turned to look at her, the sun was right in his eye line. "There were times when I thought I'd never see daylight again"

Samantha nodded, she understood. "I was in that lifeboat and I watched it all…still the actual experience of it must be somewhat different"

Jackson nodded as he reflected on the night's events. "It was like a nightmare coming to life…"

"D-Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him as they could now walk side by side.

Jackson blew out a deep breath. "There's not much to say really…it was the ultimate fight for survival, every man for himself"

"Except-"

"it wasn't…I had to help Aaron survive…h-he's younger, he was frightened, not to say I wasn't because I was, I really was…at one point I got locked in a room in the lower decks and it was filling with water, I nearly drowned, I couldn't do anything but Aaron…" Jackson said with a smile. "Aaron saved me, he never left me, he got the door open and we were together again, I will always be grateful to him for saving my life"

Tears ran down Samantha's cheeks as she was listening to Jackson's story.

"But he saved me long before then" he explained as he looked out at the water. "We made it to the back of the ship but Aaron lost his footing and slid to the bottom again, I was terrified, I couldn't lose him, the screams the panic it was all there, the chaos but I had to move and I did" Jackson continued and turned to face her, his own tears now evident to see. "I found him again briefly, when the ship split he was right in the middle of it, and he jumped into the water, I never saw him again until a while after she'd gone down"

"H-how is he now?"

"Oh he's fine I think, he took a bang to the head and he was cold, all of us were, but we're ok now…we can start our lives"

Samantha wiped her tears away and smiled. "I wish you all the luck in the world Jackson, I really do"

"Thank you, Samantha. What are you going to do now?"

"Well, apparently my parents have been notified of the sinking, they're making their way to New York, they should be there for this ship to arrive"

Jackson nodded and bit his lip. "I'm sorry Samantha, truly I' am"

"We've been through this Jackson"

"I know, but I need you to know again, I never meant to hurt you"

Samantha smiled. "I know, you're a gentle, kind man…you wouldn't hurt anyone intentionally"

Jackson shook his head in agreement. "I better get back to him" he explained as they both stopped walking and faced each other properly.

"Here we are again" she said sadly.

Jackson simply stepped forward and hugged her tightly. "I don't know if we'll ever see each other again but just know I'll never forget you, despite everything you've been a huge part of my life and I can never forget that Sam"

Sam pulled away from the hug and held onto his hands tightly whilst she smiled at him. "Have an amazing life Jackson, look after yourself and Aaron…I've seen how much he loves you"

Jackson smiled slightly and nodded. "I will"

"Goodbye Jackson" she said quietly as she pulled her hands away and walked off.

"Bye" Jackson replied. In a split second an emptiness filled him, the end of an era, that's what it felt like, but he'd never forget just like he'd told her. Now he had to get back to the new era, the new life he'd craved for, for so long.

….

Jackson walked back into Aaron's small room and was greeted with the sound of conversation. "Well, this is new" he grinned.

Aaron turned to look at him. "Just giving her the highlighted version of my life"

"Probably a good idea, some things might shock you mother"

"Well I beg to differ" Hazel told him.

"Maybe another time" Aaron told her quietly. "If you both don't mind actually, I'm tired…might sleep before we reach land again"

"Oh…okay, sure" Jackson replied with a hint of concern for him, not at his words but in the way he sounded. "Come on then mother, we'll be outside if you need us"

"Yeah sure"

Jackson was definitely concerned, Aaron didn't seem himself, and obviously he wasn't expecting him to be full of life but maybe just a little. As Jackson closed the door and stood in the corridor, his mother held his arm. "Concerned?"

"Yea- mayb…" he sighed. "I dunno" he told her as he sat down in a chair.

"Well…you should be…that's all I'm saying" Hazel said as she sat beside him.

* * *

**TBC…**


	19. If I Could

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"If I Could..."**

* * *

_Lucky_, that's what the doctors and nurses had said Aaron and Jackson were. They were among the lucky few to have been pulled from the water, realistically they should be dead and for Aaron it was close, however he wasn't feeling very lucky. Vivid flashes of the horrific events flashed through his mind periodically leaving him on edge, he felt like he was going crazy and over the few days since being rescued and recovering as much as he could on the Carpathia, he then had to endure recalling his experiences for the powers that were conducting an investigation. It drained him, it upset him. He even broke down in front of strangers as he told his story, something which Jackson still didn't know.

It had been a few days since the boys had set foot in New York; and while it was a beautiful, magnificent city, worlds away from anything Aaron knew he simply wasn't seeing it.

Jackson knew something was wrong, the strange behaviour and then the warning from his mum. He decided he'd let Aaron speak when he was ready. Since arriving in America, Jackson had been running around organising a few things, especially gaining access to his money, he'd transferred it all to an American bank before the voyage. Now that account was empty and the money was in his pocket.

Aaron stayed with Hazel who had kindly offered to keep him company while Jackson dealt with things. One sunny afternoon they found themselves walking, billboards and children with signs advertising the specific newspapers had headlines of the disaster. Aaron sighed. "I hope to god no one finds out we're survivors"

Hazel frowned. "Why do you say that?"

"Because of all the attention it would bring, I agree the world needs to know of what happened but they do not need to know our individual stories"

"You may be right Aaron but in time they will know who the survivors are, they would only be interested because people will care, they will want to know people's accounts that's all"

"So, money doesn't come into it then?"

"Well…" Hazel sighed.

"Exactly"

Hazel watched him carefully as they walked along the street. "We've been here a few days, you aren't sleeping are you?"

Aaron sighed quietly and raised his eyebrow and glanced at her. "No, no, not really; well not at all to be honest"

"Does Jackson know?"

"No, he's sleeping fine…which makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with me, I feel like I've gone mad"

"Oh don't be silly" she smiled. "You haven't gone mad Aaron, I think that Jackson has and is dealing with this better simply because he's older"

Aaron responded with a deep frown.

"A- and I mean that as no insult to you" Hazel countered.

"Oh, right…" Aaron replied quickly and relaxed.

"It will just take time Aaron, you've seen and lived an experience that you never had before, and you probably never even imagined it would happen just like the rest of us. You were hurt badly, but I can see…" she said as she leaned forward as they walked and looked at the large cut on his head. "…that you're healing"

"But that isn't what's wrong with me Hazel, it's inside my head, I'm so scared even now" he explained as he shrugged his shoulders, helpless, a lost young lad unable to stop what was wrong.

Hazel knew that. "But you know why it's happening"

Aaron nodded.

"It may pass, give it time…but trust me when I say you're in good hands" she told him as they sat down on a bench. "A word of advice, maybe you should think about telling Jackson, he's really worried about you"

Aaron bit his lip and nodded at her words. "That's why you're here babysitting me" he scoffed then chuckled before shaking his head lightly.

"To be honest yes; Jackson asked me too but I wanted too, all this Aaron, everything that's happened, it changed me"

"It changed us all" Aaron responded quietly.

"It made me think about things differently, several days ago I couldn't even look at you" and now she smiled fondly at him and Aaron smiled back.

"And I hated you if I'm honest, I really did but you're not so bad really"

Hazel smirked. "Why thank you young man" both then began to laugh.

"Where did Jackson say he was going again?" Aaron asked.

"He went to organise some temporary accommodation for you both until everything settles then you can both find something more permanent"

Aaron nodded he remembered Jackson telling him now. He rolled his eyes. _I need to sort myself out _he thought to himself. "What will you do now?"

"Begin what I came here to do, create art" she smiled. "Scout around the art museums, sell my work once I have some, but I have contacts already of course who can help, my home is just out of the city, a quiet area just what I need to work"

"Good" Aaron told her kindly. "I don't want to put your life on hold Hazel, yeah Jackson wants you in his life, s-so do I" he couldn't believe he was admitting it. "But sticking around to look after me isn't fair on you"

"It's the least I can do, once you're in your temporary place I'll be on my way, but worry not you'll still see me" she grinned. "Ah yes now it brings me to something…do you have any of your things?"

Aaron pouted as he shook his head. "Nothing; I didn't have much money either, it was in my cabin when I left it, everything happened to fast I didn't even think to grab it"

"Well" she said as she opened her bag and rummaged around but seconds later pulled out a small manila envelope and handed it to him. "Thinking as much, this is for you"

Aaron looked down at the envelope with a deep frown. "I-I can't Hazel, I couldn't possibly"

"Yes" Hazel nodded. "Yes you can Aaron. Jackson has one too and he has money; so see it's not pity"

"It wouldn't feel right"

"It feels right to me, please take it Aaron, you need it"

Aaron hesitantly reached out then eventually took the envelope from her, and instantly felt how thick it was. "T-Thankyou, I'll pay you back once I have a job"

"You're welcome and no you won't I don't want it back"

"But Hazel"

"No but's Aaron, it's yours"

"I don't know what to say" he was shocked.

"You already said it" Hazel told him with a smile before she got to her feet. "Put that in your pocket, we'll go get some food and then it should be time to meet Jackson"

Aaron smiled widely as he got to his feet. "I-I've missed him, we've rarely been apart since we met"

Hazel chuckled. "You're cute"

Aaron scowled. "No I'm not"

"Ah yes, male pride"

Aaron's scowl lessened and he couldn't help but smile.

…

Jackson was stood on the steps instructing some delivery men on where he wanted things; he'd got a lot done in a day, organised accommodation, furniture, everything they needed. It was meant to be temporary but the house was nice, if Aaron liked it and he hoped he would then they would stay. He turned and looked out onto the street and saw his mum and Aaron walking toward him, he grinned. "You made it then"

"Yes" Hazel smiled. "This is very nice Jackson, isn't it Aaron?"

Aaron nodded and smiled in response.

"It has everything we need; it even has electricity, running water and a flush toilet"

"But don't other homes not even have that" Aaron told him.

"Yes you're right but I can't start feeling bad because I have money"

"No, no I guess not" Aaron replied with a small smile.

The delivery men left the house and Jackson quickly signed some documents to say they had delivered the items and then they left. "Come on then" he grinned and began walking in the house.

Aaron followed and was taken aback by the luxury once again, working light fittings, a wooden floor in the passageway, a carpeted staircase, luxurious sofas; he'd never lived this luxury before. They all entered the kitchen and Aaron frowned, many appliances were there that he had never seen before. "What's that?"

"A dishwasher, hand powered though and plates etc need to be dried"

Aaron nodded. "Impressive, maybe one day they'll make one that does it automatically and even dries them for us"

Hazel chuckled. "I have no doubt in that, right then boys I'll leave you too it"

Aaron turned to her and smiled. "We'll see you soon?"

"Of course" she said as she placed her hand on his cheek.

"I'll show you out mother" with that Hazel and Jackson left Aaron in the kitchen.

Facing each other in the doorway they smiled at each other. "Thank you for being with him"

"My pleasure" Hazel told him with a smile and reached into her handbag for Jackson's envelope. "This is for you" she told him as she handed it to him. "Aaron's got the same too; he has nothing the poor kid"

"But I don't have nothing mum, I-I don't-"

"Just take it. Please…Jackson" she told him.

Jackson nodded. "Thank you"

"You're welcome, look after him you need to have a talk I think" she wisely told him.

"You know things I don't, don't you?"

Hazel nodded. "I'll see you soon love"

Jackson smiled as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his mum. "I love you mum, thank you so much"

"My pleasure and I love you too, keep in touch"

They parted from their hug and Hazel began to walk down the steps to the street. "Try and stop me" she told him lovingly before walking away. Jackson watched her and frowned, he scoffed. _How weird… _he thought then stepped back into the house and closed the door. He turned back and walked along the wooden hall back to the kitchen where Aaron was and as he approached he dangled the keys to their house in front of him with a huge grin on his face; however his grin faded quickly when Aaron wasn't paying any attention and was just staring out of the window. Jackson sighed. "Aaron…" he spoke loudly and it brought him out of his stare.

Aaron frowned at him. "Sorry what?"

"The keys" he dangled them again with a smile.

Aaron just nodded seemingly not excited like Jackson was. Jackson rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped slightly before he put the keys down onto the bench. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" Aaron smiled but Jackson wasn't stupid he could see through it.

"Okay" Jackson replied with a smile. "Anyway I think a cuppa is in order" he told him and walked over to the stove top steel kettle and grabbed it then turned the tap on and filled it with water.

The sound of the rushing water caused Aaron to jump and the instant panic whisked his breath away and his eyes widened, he quickly realised the source of it, initially he thought he was imagining it but it really was just the tap. He shook his head lightly. Jackson glanced slightly from the corner of his eye; which was the first indication that he certainly was not alright but Jackson didn't want to push him; he'd talk when he was ready.

Jackson too was recovering on a mental level but he wasn't jumping at sounds of water, he stared as he thought about it all, since reaching New York he's kept himself busy because he needed to sort accommodation and other things for himself and Aaron but even if those weren't necessary he'd have kept busy regardless. As he stood thinking he didn't notice the water rushing over the kettle.

Aaron frowned and stepped forward, placing his hand on his shoulder as he did so and he leaned round to face him a bit. "Jackson?"

Jackson blinked and looked around; he sighed and rolled his eyes then reached for the tap and turned it off. "Useless or what?" he asked with a chuckle and walked to the stove and placed the kettle down and lit it.

"You useless? Nah, you're far from that" Aaron told him then began to turn to walk out. "I'll just be in there"

Jackson nodded but didn't reply as he fiddled with the appliance, when he knew Aaron was out of sight he rested against the bench and felt an enormous amount of sadness rise in the form of tears and they left him and Jackson stood sobbing with his head down.

….

Later that night Jackson lay in bed, a small lamp gave the room a comfortable feel and he watched as Aaron walked into the room with a towel around his waist. He smiled at the sight, _so damn sexy!_ He thought to himself as Aaron sat on the edge of the bed and began to dry himself.

The bath was an uneventful experience, he firmly told himself it was fine and he then stepped cautiously into the bathtub, then slowly again lowered his body in the water and washed himself quickly but thoroughly he didn't want to be in it too long, flashes of the frothy salty water covering his entire body came to his mind as he washed himself but he clamped his eyes shut tightly for a second then carried on.

Moments later Aaron lay down next to Jackson and felt his boyfriends strong arms wrap around him, it brought a smile and he turned his head to face him and dark brown ones met deep blue ones.

Jackson just stared at him. "Listen...all I know is that you're not okay…" he told him as he ran his fingers up and down Aaron's smooth defined torso. "…but I won't push you, y-you just talk to me when you're ready alright"

Aaron nodded whilst still staring into those eyes. "I-I just feel like I shouldn't even be here"

Jackson frowned slightly as his words shocked him. "What do you mean?"

"Here – alive" Aaron admitted. "Why did all those people die Jackson? We survived" Aaron asked with a sigh as he nestled up against Jackson and rested his forehead against his.

"I know…It doesn't seem fair but what we have to do is live our lives the best we can"

"None of them deserved death" Aaron told him coldly, with a bite to his tone.

"You're right" Jackson said as he hugged him tightly.

"If I could swap with someone who had a meaning to their life then I'd do it in a second"

Jackson moved back a little and looked at him with a frown, but he saw the sadness in Aaron's eyes.

Aaron didn't answer but knew Jackson didn't like what he had said; he saw the questions in his eyes. Aaron shrugged lightly and rolled over and closed his eyes and let the tears silently fall.

Jackson was stunned at how little Aaron thought of himself, his life was just as important as one of the rich people who died in the sinking, just because Aaron didn't have money, a job, nice things didn't mean he deserved to belittle himself like that; it worried Jackson and now he knew what his mum meant, it was going to be a tough recovery but he wasn't going anywhere, and he was fully aware that he had just in those moments simply scratched the surface but he'd help Aaron through it no matter what it took.

* * *

**TBC…**


	20. Where We Are

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Where We Are"**

* * *

Aaron stared at himself in the mirror on the wall in the bathroom he examined himself and his cut on his head still looked bad. He rolled his eyes as he stepped away; it was time to face the music or endure the awkward silence between himself and Jackson, he was very much aware of what he had said in bed the night before and he didn't regret it, nor had he forgotten the look on Jackson's face; he couldn't help that, it was the way he felt.

Aaron walked into the living room and caught Jackson's eyes instantly but he awkwardly looked away and lowered himself onto the sofa as Jackson placed down a mug of tea on the coffee table. Aaron sighed and rubbed his eyes.

Jackson stood watching him he was really, really worried. He stepped back and sat across from him on the single chair. Jackson stared down into his own tea then looked back across at his boyfriend. "You know what you said last night, it really worries me"

Aaron shrugged. "It's how I feel" he said miserably, he was really down.

"I understand how you might feel like that but it isn't the way to think Aaron…your life is just as important as anybody's"

"Is that so?"

"Yes" Jackson hissed. "Of course it is, all life is important, those people who died that night died because all odds were against them, the time they were in the water, the freezing temperatures and how long it took for the lifeboat to return"

"But why did we survive? And don't say it was luck because it wasn't!"

"Fate" Jackson told him. "That's got nothing to do with luck and you know we were in short supply of it, the only luck we had was that floating chunk of debris that saved us, yes it was close I know that but we're here Aaron. I feel it too, survivor's guilt, whatever you wanna call it but we have to move on now, we survived they didn't that's not our fault"

"Harsh"

"Well…" Jackson blew out a deep breath. "Someone has to be…I don't like it either but that's the simple truth and while it will be difficult at times we have to move on" Jackson then got up and walked over to Aaron and knelt down in front of him and held both of his hands tightly. "You are so important to me, your life, just….you is why I love you, I do Aaron I love you and it hurt hearing you talk about yourself like that but we're here…" he then removed one hand from Aaron's and placed it onto his cheek and caressed it. "Me and you, that's all that's important right?"

Aaron nodded and looked into Jackson's eyes. "Yeah, it is and I didn't mean to hurt you it's just sometimes I feel like I'm not worth it"

"Oh but you are" Jackson smiled. "You're worth it to me, this morning when I woke up and you were beside me it was like a dream come true, I don't care what you have or don't have as long as you're with me and healthy then that's all that matters" he smiled softly at him, the sight of Aaron's blue eyes caused his stomach to flip. "Everyone is important to someone and I'm your somebody" he smirked and Aaron chuckled. "Hell, even my mum spent the last few days with you without me there, now hey…surely that's got to say something"

"Or…she just felt guilty?" Aaron piped up, joking this time.

Jackson began to laugh. "In all honesty I don't think she'd do that"

"Nah, you're right"

"So, does my handsome boyfriend feel better now? I know I do I don't think I could have carried on with the silence"

Aaron smiled slightly and nodded. "I-I've never been so good at talking about feelings and stuff"

"I know" Jackson nodded lightly. "It just takes time" he smiled. "How's the head?"

"Oh err, yeah fine stinging a bit but there's nothing I can do about that" Aaron replied with a smile.

Jackson got to his feet. "It'll heal soon…" he then began to walk away but suddenly stopped and turned back. "Y-you know Aaron…we'll always have Titanic but it's what we choose to remember that will shape the couple we're becoming" his words were wise and he could see it in Aaron's eyes the impact they had made.

Aaron smiled and fell into a daze as he remembered and unknowingly seconds later he began to cry silently. "I-I'll…" he began with a smile. "I'll remember that day when I first saw you, the tour you gave me…and when I was changing into a suit…" he began to chuckle. "I saw you watching me in the reflection of the mirror…I've never been so aroused in my life!" Jackson laughed too and listened as Aaron carried on. "And our first time…it was something that can't be taken away from me, I'll never forget it Jackson…and I'll never forget beginning to fall in love with you, it's still on-going, each day it gets stronger and it's thanks to that ship because otherwise we wouldn't be where we are now and I love you with all of my heart Jackson" Aaron declared as he wiped his tears away. "I really do"

"I love you too" Jackson said softly as they stared at one another.

"So…along with many others of our moments together, that's how I choose to remember my time on that ship and I'm sorry for being such a pain in the arse"

Jackson walked to him quickly and leaned down and kissed him softly on his lips, tasting him, feeling the softness, he got lost in those lips every single time. "You're my pain in the arse, I wouldn't have you any other way" he mumbled to him before kissing him again with more force and passion.

* * *

**TBC…..**


	21. Explode, Detonation!

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Explode, Detonation!"**

* * *

The rest of the day was going by quite nicely; both boys were spending it together in the city shopping after Jackson, earlier that morning after their talk decided Aaron needed more clothes. As they walked through the city passing the designer stores Aaron wasn't particularly bothered but at least he had something more appealing to look at in Jackson. He hadn't failed to notice the expensive clothes Jackson was picking from the shelves. Aaron frowned at him and Jackson just chuckled. "Hey if you want to buy clothes like you have on that's fine…" Jackson told him then his voice quietened. "Not that there's anything wrong with them…I did fall for you in them" he said with a smirk and then a wink. "Really resisting the urge to rip them off you right now actually" he spoke in an even quieter tone, his smirk still on his lips.

Aaron chuckled. "Jackson" he hushed. "Behave!" he told him quietly as he laughed again. "The clothes are fine, keep moving then I hate shopping…well…I've never really shopped before but yeah this isn't tickling my fancy" he coughed. "But you are"

"Now who needs to behave?" Jackson told him as they walked through the store. Aaron followed him with a smile on his face.

As they wandered slowly around the store Aaron looked around and saw a man staring at them, he frowned and turned away and tried to zone in on whatever Jackson was talking about, he couldn't. "Sorry, I wasn't listening"

"I said do you like this?" Jackson asked as he held up a crisp white shirt.

"For me?" Aaron scrunched his face.

"No, me you idiot" Jackson replied.

"Oh, oh yeah, yeah…" Aaron replied absently as he turned and looked over at the man again who was still looking over at them. He frowned, let out a deep sigh and left Jackson's side and headed over to the man. He ran his hand over his mouth as he stopped. "Is there a problem? Only you're staring at us"

The man smiled and it unnerved Aaron. "I'm a reporter for the New York times…"

Aaron rolled his eyes and stepped away.

"N-No please just hang on a second"

"No" Aaron replied sharply as he headed back to Jackson.

"Is something wrong?" Jackson called over.

"No" Aaron told him as he returned to his side. "He's a reporter"

"Ahh" Jackson sounded and gave a disapproving look to the man.

"W-wait p-please just give me a minute…w-what you went thr-" the reporter didn't have a chance to finish his sentence because Aaron jumped down his throat.

"What we went through is absolutely nothing to do with you! You wouldn't even be able to comprehend it; now me and my brother are shopping, buying more clothes because we lost them in the sinking so if you don't mind leave us alone before I make you!"

The reporter was lost for words, the stuttering gave it away. "I-I I didn't" he stopped with a sigh and bowed his head slightly before backing off.

"Good one gorgeous" Jackson told Aaron quietly and as he turned to look at him he saw the state he was in. "You're shaking…" he placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just relax it's alright"

"No it's not alright, he has our names Jackson he thinks he can get a story out of us for money well I'm telling ya if I see him again I won't be responsible for my actions"

Jackson nodded. "Alright, alright hopefully you won't see him, come on lets go get a late lunch, I've dragged you around enough shops" his cheeky smile won Aaron over as it seemed to relax him and he smiled back and nodded his approval. They headed to the checkout, paid for their items and left.

Aaron and Jackson had been home a few hours and spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling together on the couch talking but that ceased as Jackson got up to make some food, Aaron offered to help but Jackson had told him he didn't need help and for Aaron to simply relax.

"No, at least let me do something"

Jackson rolled his eyes; he wasn't going to relax until he could do something. "Alright, alright you can take the rubbish out or the garbage as these Americans call it"

Aaron smirked. "Fair enough" he grabbed the bin bag and headed along the long corridor and opened the front door and walked down the steps to the small garden and turned instantly where the bin was, he lifted the lid and placed the bag inside. As he did so he heard a rustling and he placed the lid back down quickly and turned around. "Who's there?" when no response came he turned and started walking back up the set of steps to the house. "You're getting jumpy Livesy" he mumbled to himself.

"Brothers you say?" the voice was familiar and Aaron sighed and turned around to face the reporter.

"Excuse me?"

The reporter grinned and walked further up the footpath and Aaron could see him better now, the night was quickly setting in "I'm very good at tracking people down"

"Good for you" Aaron responded.

"And for tracing people's steps…"

"What do you want a medal?" Aaron asked sharply with a frown on his face.

"Seems some information I have on you two differ slightly"

"Oh and how is that?"

"Well…" the reporter took in a breath and bit his lip before speaking again then squared his shoulders and looked up at Aaron properly once again. "Neither of your parents match" he smiled again which unnerved Aaron just like it had earlier in the store. "Which begs the question, brothers?"

"I don't know what you've got in your head but it's a load of bullshit"

"Really? Nice comfy house you've got here…especially surprising when you're poor and were a third class passenger on the Titanic…you're not brothers at all, in fact I think your both lovers…" he said disgustedly at which point Aaron stormed down the steps and stopped inches away from the reporter.

"Yeah? Where's the proof?"

"There isn't any, but I do remember what I overheard in the store earlier…something about ripping each other's clothes off?" he blew out a breath. "Not exactly the words brothers exchange is it?"

Aaron shook his head, his jaw was clenched and he could feel his anger building. "Do you not think we've been through enough?"

"Oh" the man frowned. "I don't know…I couldn't possibly comprehend what you went through remember"

Aaron lowered his head and shook it.

"I would however if you told me your story"

Aaron quickly looked up at the man with narrowed eyes. "All of this for our version of events?"

"Yes, the press are having a field day over this disaster…and while it is saddening it's a money maker and unlike you and your lover in your big house some of us have to earn our money and I'll do what I have too"

Immediately Aaron grabbed the reporter by his collar and tightened his grip. "If you've got any sense at all, once I let you go you will leave and never come near us again because I'm telling you I can be quite volatile when I want to be" he jolted him backward sharply before pulling him closer again. "I could cause some serious damage to that pretty face of yours" Aaron smiled but his anger still showed. "I'm very, very dangerous when pushed and I don't take kindly to threats!" he yelled then shook him again. "You got that?" he yelled again as he pushed him back releasing his grip at the same time.

The reporter stumbled back but regained his balance and he didn't move which angered Aaron even more and he walked toward him quickly. "I said go! I don't want to talk about what happened" As Aaron's rampage began Jackson stopped at the doorway and when he realised what was happening he quickly ran to him but it was too late. "… It's completely broken me and for you to come here threatening us so you can get our story is disgusting!" Aaron's voice rose higher and higher with each word. "You make me sick!" he screamed before punching him in the face.

The man's nose was surely broken and the blood was pouring fast. Aaron stopped and stared at the damage he'd done, he was shaking, and he'd lost control – not the first time in his life however but still unnerving each time.

"Jesus!" Jackson stared and swallowed hard. "What have you done?"

"Take that as a warning, next time I'll do worse" Aaron told the reporter who quickly scarpered. Jackson frowned and grabbed Aaron by the shoulder and dragged him inside.

With the slam of the door the argument well and truly began. Jackson stormed along the corridor into the kitchen with Aaron following. "What did you expect me to do?" Aaron demanded.

"Not that!" Jackson shouted back as he stopped and leaned against the sink.

"Well I'm sorry to break it to you Jackson but what you saw back there! That's the real me, when I get angry I lash out"

"And stuff the consequences aswell by the looks of it!" Jackson was fuming with Aaron, his chest rose up and down quickly with each breath he took.

Aaron tutted as he frowned. "That little weasel isn't gunna do anything!"

"And how do you know that exactly!" Jackson turned quickly and shouted in his face. "What he was doing was wrong I know that but hitting him?"

"He somehow overheard us in the store earlier, he knows were not brothers! He was using that to get our story"

Jackson looked up at the ceiling and closed his eyes for a second. "This is ridiculous! You do know what could happen if he calls the police?"

Aaron shrugged which fuelled Jackson's anger further. "PRISON Aaron! Or they send you back to the UK; I don't know how it works…"

"I couldn't give stuff, I'm not going to stand by and let someone use our sexuality for a bargaining chip, who gives them the right! It wouldn't happen to a straight couple would it? Oh no because that's alright!"

"I know that but if he had his way and sold the story…" Jackson sighed and spoke calmer. "It's just best if people think we're brothers…"

"You think we should don't ya?" Aaron asked.

Jackson sighed and averted his eyes from Aaron's uncomfortably. Aaron eyed him slowly and he frowned in response to Jackson's words. "So you'll live your life behind that fucking door then?" Aaron screamed and point behind him along the corridor to the door. "I'm not ashamed Jackson, I used to be but not now, I couldn't give a damn what people think, who decides what's right and wrong? The bible?" Aaron scoffed. "Give me a break; it's a load of crap…"

"No Aaron!" Jackson yelled. "It's just the way it's got to be! We don't fit into society!"

"You sound like your mother! And worse you sound like you're not bothered that we have to hide"

"Well I'm not" Jackson told him with a shrug.

"Well I thought you were a better man than this! This isn't the life I imagined for me and you Jackson…" Aaron slowly stepped closer to him and looked him in the eye. "If this is love, then I don't want it" he told him and quickly turned and stormed to the front door.

Jackson quickly walked after him and caught up to him as he was about to leave the house, grabbing his arm before he could get away. "You need to calm down Aaron"

Aaron flung his arm away from Jackson releasing his grip. "Get off me"

"No!" he tried to grab him again but Aaron fought hard not to let him. "I can't let you go out there alone"

"Well maybe it's for the best, don't want to cause you any more shame now do I?"

"WHAT?" Jackson hissed and grabbed him again. "That's stupid and you know it"

Aaron shrugged and made a move to step down onto the first step but in his anger and erratic state he missed his footing, Jackson scrambled to get him but it was too late and Aaron fell, he missed four steps and crashed onto his back and hit his head as he hit the pavement below.

"Oh god!" he breathed quickly and ran down the steps. Meanwhile someone stopped at their gate double checking over a sheet of paper then looked up. He frowned. "J-Jackson, is that you?"

Jackson looked toward the voice and his eyes widened. "Adam?"

"Y-yeah" Adam replied with a smile as he pushed open the gate and walked to him. He then saw the body lying on the footpath and he swallowed hard. "W-What the hell happened?" he asked as he knelt down at Aaron's side as Aaron began to groan.

"W-We were arguing…"

"Yeah I heard something from down the street"

Jackson nodded quickly and continued. "He was storming out and I tried to stop him, it all happened so fast, I wasn't touching him I swear to god…he missed his footing I think…"

"Alright, don't move him, go and call an ambulance"

"I don't want a bloody ambulance" Aaron grumbled in his groggy state and then his eyes began to open slowly and close again.

"His heads not bleeding…maybe that's a good sign…" Jackson said.

"Yeah, maybe…" Adam replied. "Call the doctor then? Surely they do house calls?"

Jackson nodded and scrambled to his feet and ran back in the house, leaving Aaron in Adam's care.

Adam smiled as he looked at him in his dazed state. "I never thought I'd see you again" he told him as he took his hand and squeezed it tightly. Aaron simply groaned in response, unaware of who the voice belonged too.

* * *

**TBC…**


	22. Decision Made

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Decision Made"**

* * *

The doctor had just left and Aaron was sleeping on the sofa, he was given some medication and from the doctor's tests he could do there was no sign of a head injury, he did however have a broken ankle, he placed a support bandage around it for now but he was in no danger. Before he left the doctor gave strict instructions for him to go to the hospital to be checked over fully in any case. Jackson walked into the kitchen after seeing the doctor out and began to cry. Adam left Aaron alone in the living room when he heard Jackson's cries and he stopped in the kitchen doorway. "It's not your fault Jackson" Adam told him softly and Jackson wiped his eyes quickly and turned to look at him.

"Really? All I've ever tried to do is keep him safe, I failed on that damned ship, he almost died in the water and now I'm pushing him to complete anger to the point he doesn't know what the hell he's doing and falls down those steps!" he breathed harshly and shook his head, angry at himself.

"Don't be daft"

"It's true!" Jackson cried again.

Adam stepped closer. "No Jackson it's not, I know he can get pretty riled up sometimes that's what did this, not you"

Jackson scoffed and shook his head, not believing him.

"What was the argument about?"

"A reporter…he uh, he has a list of survivors, found us in the city and wanted a story, Aaron told him to go but earlier he found where we live and he apparently realised we're not brothers…" Jackson rolled his eyes. "Cover story"

"Ahh" Adam replied with a nod.

"He used that to threaten Aaron for a story, he went mad and punched him, I didn't get to him in time to stop him, anyway the reporter left, I dragged him back inside…long story short, Aaron thinks it's wrong that we have to hide who we are, I don't mind…and although I agree with him, hiding well…it's easier"

Adam nodded. "H-How have things been since the sinking?"

Jackson looked at him and shook his head lightly.

"Right…and who's been here for you?" Adam wondered.

Jackson shrugged his shoulders, no one had been really, he kept it locked inside he had to be strong for Aaron. Adam sighed and stepped forward and took Jackson in his arms and hugged him. "Well I'm back now and if you want me to be here I will and I'll talk to him when he wakes up, and you can talk to me alright?"

Jackson nodded as he hugged Adam back. "W-what happened to you?"

"Oh erm…" they pulled away and Adam looked at Jackson "After Aaron helped me to safety I could see the water rising…I had to get out…I couldn't stay there…I felt guilty" he frowned. "I couldn't face that water; I was a coward when I could have been down there finding you both"

"Oh Adam…"

"No...Jackson, I should have and for just making a run for it I' am so, so sorry"

"You don't have to be mate you were badly hurt and we got out…he saved me" Jackson smiled a little.

Adam smiled too in reaction. "You have no idea what I was like when I saw your names on that list"

"I can imagine" Jackson said with a nod.

"Anyway after that, I struggled like everybody, but I managed to get onto one of the collapsible lifeboats…people were arguing, trying to swamp us but with help we stopped them and after that we were away from the ship, I was just quiet…I-I couldn't even look back…it was horrible…"

"It really was" Jackson nodded; he knew all too well how horrible it was.

"But anyway" Adam attempted to lighten the mood. "Were alive and I found you both again" he smiled. Jackson smiled and offered to make them all a drink and some food, hopefully Aaron would wake up soon. Adam left Jackson too it and walked back into the living room to watch over Aaron who was now stirring. Adam quickly sat by him with a permanent smile on his face. "Hey mate…I-it's me"

Aaron groaned and his eyes began to open, when they did he just frowned at Adam. "Adam?" he asked weakly.

Adam nodded. "That's right…" he told him and instantly Aaron tried to sit up, but Adam placed his hand on Aaron's chest to stop him. "Careful mate you've got a broken ankle"

"Ugh…" he grunted and rubbed his eyes then looked at Adam again and began to smile wide. "It's really you"

Adam grinned and let out a laugh. "Yeah"

"Oh my god" Aaron was relieved and he leaned up as far as he could and hugged him tightly. "I-I thought you wer-"

"No, no" Adam cut him off. "I'm fine"

Aaron nodded and let go and lay back down. "W-Where's Jackson?" he asked sheepishly.

"He's in the kitchen making some food…last lot looked ruined by the looks of it…"

"Oh…" Aaron trailed off and looked away. "Has he told you about the argument?"

Adam nodded. "But I want your story"

"I said he was ashamed of me" Aaron spoke quietly as he became teary. "I went crazy Adam I-I don't even know why really…"

Adam nodded and let out a heavy sigh "All the stuff you went through to be with him and then this…"

"I know please don't…"Aaron felt guilty and he really didn't want to be told off.

"Well someone has too, Jackson just shook his head when I asked but it's not been a good time since the sinking and now you've punched a reporter? Are you serious?"

Aaron sighed. "I lost my temper…I hit him…it's what I do"

"No matter what the cost?"

"It won't come to that"

"Oh and why's that?"

"B-because I'm not staying here…I-I just hope Jackson comes with me"

"What? Go where?"

"Home" Aaron told him.

"Come on mate this is stupid"

"At least there people know who I' am"

"What?" Adam was surprised. "They do?"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "It's a small village Adam, nothing stays secret for long"

"And what if Jackson doesn't want to go with you?"

"Then I'll understand his decision but I'm not staying here"

Adam sighed and increasingly became angry with him. "You love him and you've been through too much to let him go now, pull yourself together for god sake!"

"I'm going home Adam with or without him! I need to see my mum…I miss her and I miss the village…this life isn't for me…"

"What about Jackson?"

"Of course I want him but if he doesn't want to leave then" he shrugged "There's nothing I can do about it"

Adam sighed and got up. "I'll go and get the meds the doctor left"

Aaron nodded and lay silently as Adam left him.

Adam walked into the kitchen and closed the door, which confused Jackson. "We've got a big problem."

* * *

**TBC…..**


	23. I'll Keep You Floating

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"I'll Keep You Floating"**

* * *

"A problem? How?" Jackson asked his confusion still evident.

Adam sighed. "H-He…"

"Spit it out"

"Aaron he-he erm…he said he's going home, with or without you" Adam told him with a sigh, he wasn't happy going straight to Jackson but he had to tell him.

Jackson scowled and stormed past Adam and through to the living room. "Aaron!" he yelled as he made his way along the passage then burst into the living room.

Aaron sat up with the roll of his eyes. "He's told you then"

"Damn right he has!" he shouted in response. "Or was it a secret!"

"Why are you shouting? Stop shouting" Aaron told him with a stern look on his face.

"STOP SHO-" Jackson took a breath in an attempt to calm himself.

Aaron sighed. "Judging from your reaction you're not coming then?"

"More like you're not going"

Aaron scoffed. "I'm not a prisoner here"

"Didn't say you were"

Adam entered to try and calm the situation. "Guys please just calm down and talk about this…"

"A-Adam can you leave us for a few minutes?" Jackson told him as he kept his eyes on Aaron. Seconds later Adam had left the room and Jackson closed the door behind him.

"How stupid of me to think you'd come with me" Aaron spat bitterly.

"Well hang on a minute I've just been told you're leaving at least let this all sink in but let me make this crystal clear, you aren't going anywhere until it has"

Aaron just frowned at him.

Jackson sat on the arm of the couch and looked down at Aaron who was sat on the opposite end. "I-I don't get you…you got a ticket for Titanic to come here for a reason, a better life…why go back there?"

"Things have changed Jackson, and experiencing this life just makes me want my old life back even more, I'm going home"

"You're not thinking straight"

"Trust me I' am"

"You're still struggling, suffering from the sinking I get it I do…that's all this is" Jackson told him and all the while Aaron shook his head slowly. "Yes it is! I-I came here for the same reasons Aaron you can make this work, you'll get better mentally and emotionally I promise"

Aaron scoffed while still shaking his head, doubting that fact. He was scarred for life. "Do you know what? If our roles were reversed I wouldn't hesitate, I'd be right with you agreeing in a split second to go with you, but no y-you you! You sit there telling me it'll be alright well it never will be Jackson! But I'll be a lot better if I'm home!"

Jackson sighed and allowed his eyes to close, showering him in calmness, for those moments at least. "You're young Aaron…I remember when I was your age I didn't have the patience to give anything a chance I gave up on a lot of things, who I really was for a start, but not just that other things and from experience in time those things get better, I found you for example"

"Well I bet that's one massive regret now"

"What?"

"You should have just stayed with her, you'd have got the life you wanted, an easy one…because I don't know if you noticed but I'm not easy!"

"Oh you're being ridiculous"

"Oh am I?"

"Yeah you're having a fucking breakdown!" Jackson yelled the frustration and concern for Aaron evident in his voice.

Aaron laughed for a second. "Of course I' am, how convenient to bring something like that into it" A few minutes of silence passed between them and the atmosphere was charged with tension. "You wouldn't need to think about it Jackson, and I'm not going to make you chose either I'm just telling you now that I'm going back home, I love you so much that the thought of leaving is killing me but I have to go, and whether you believe that I love you or not is up to you" he told him quietly.

Jackson sat in silence but soon his sobs could be heard. Aaron watched him and his own tears fell, he hated what he was doing to him but the need to get home was great. Aaron wiped his tears away and slowly got up onto his feet, only applying the slightest pressure on the leg with the broken ankle and he limped across the living room, passed Jackson and placed his hand onto the door handle. Jackson's sobs ceased when he realised what Aaron was doing and he got up and placed his hands on his shoulders and pulled him back slightly to which Aaron responded by turning awkwardly on his feet and with full force pushed Jackson away. "Don't!" he warned harshly then turned and opened the door and hobbled along the corridor to the stairs and he precariously made his way up, once at the top he entered their bedroom, the first door on the right at the top of the staircase; once the door was closed Aaron slid down it in tears.

Jackson appeared in the hallway and looked over at Adam who was stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "He's lost it" Jackson said quietly as he wiped his eyes. "Completely lost it"

"What you mean a breakdown?"

"I-I don't know I've never seen anyone break down before but I assume it happens differently in other people…" as he spoke Aaron's cries could be heard and Jackson's voice cracked with emotion as he spoke again. "A-and he's up there by himself in bits…" Jackson sobbed "And I have no idea how to help him" his cries became louder and he dropped his head in his hands and his shoulders jerked up and down.

"Jackson you _can _help him, you can…trust me, you're here that's half of it…now what you need to do is go up there and talk to him"

Jackson nodded as he sniffled as he calmed himself then he walked to the stairs and walked up slowly.

Reaching the top Jackson sat on the landing with his feet on the top stair with his head resting against the door frame. "Aaron…can I come in?" he asked while still hearing muffled cries through the door.

"No" Aaron sobbed.

"Why not?" Jackson asked softly.

"Because you hate me"

"What? No, no babe I don't y-you're not well that's all and I'm meant to look after you"

"I don't want looking after"

"You do Aaron…everything's a mess right now, I know it is but just let me come in and we'll talk and we won't argue I promise"

Adam listened from the ground floor and couldn't help but smile, he knew Jackson loved Aaron but it was reaffirmed once more.

"Why would you want to be anywhere near me after what I've said to you tonight, before and after my fall?"

Jackson smiled. "Because you're my man Aaron and I love you, I love you more than anything in this world and deep down I know you know that and you know I'm not ashamed of you either…"

Aaron frowned, sighed and moved slightly away from the door and he reached for the handle and opened it. Jackson quickly got up and peeked through and saw the state Aaron was in, his eyes were red, bloodshot and his cheeks were wet with tears and he was sat with his leg out flat in front of him, he was tired and beaten.

"Aww babe…" Jackson's concern was evident as he walked in and closed the door behind him. "Come on, I'll help you up" he leaned down and with Aaron's help he managed to lift him and sit him on the edge of their bed, then Jackson knelt on the floor in front of him.

"I-I never meant what I've said to you tonight except the love part that's always the truth"

Jackson nodded and chose to simply listen to Aaron.

"I'm sorry, I went off the rails a bit there…" he explained as his teary eyes stared into Jackson's. "I don't have the right to expect you to go with me; it's your life too…"

"You have every right to expect that; I love you…w-why wouldn't I?"

"So you will?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"Let me say something first before I answer that" Aaron nodded. "You came here for a new life, new opportunities…what did you have in mind?"

"Any job that didn't involve being a criminal" he smirked as did Jackson.

"And you can do that here, and in England too but I'm asking you, as your boyfriend that you at least give it a try" Aaron sighed. "J-Just for a year, or, or six months even…get a job into a routine, maybe make friends and if you still don't like it here I'm promising you right now that yes, we will go back, you and me and I mean that, I-I just didn't want you to miss this opportunity without trying first"

Aaron just watched him as he spoke.

"And as for missing your mum, you could write letters, I'm sure she'll have heard about the sinking by now she'll be worried I expect, so yeah" Jackson smiled slightly. "Write letters keep at them if you fancy…"

Aaron nodded slowly, thinking it all through. "But what about the reporter? T-the police…I...I don't wanna go to jail…"

"Hey…" Jackson reached for both of his hands and held them. "I'll deal with him; you don't need to worry ok?"

"Deal with him how?"

"You don't have to worry about him anymore" Jackson smiled. "Forget him, ok?"

Aaron nodded and blew out a breath. "I feel so stupid"

"Don't" Jackson smiled as he got up and sat next to him on the bed and pulled him into him so that his head was resting in the crook of his neck. Both boys felt the immediate comfort from each other, it was soothing. Aaron reached up and played with the undone button at the top of Jackson's shirt.

"You know…sooner or later this was going to happen" Jackson told him.

"I certainly didn't see it coming"

"No I know but I did…I just wasn't sure when and it was a shock…I-I didn't know how to help you…I don't know if I'm helping right now but all I know is, is that I love you and yeah they're just words sometimes but when I tell you every single time that I do, the words hit me so hard that I could cry because I can't believe my luck"

"I feel it too"

Jackson smiled. "We survived that sinking because of the strength we both have Aaron, if we can survive that we can survive anything, you need to try and think positively about it that's all, like I said last night, it'll never go away but you can make it better"

"I'll try"

"Good" Jackson replied as he kissed the top of his head.

"Six months, and in that time I promise I'll do my best"

"Oh god Aaron, thank you" Jackson replied, he was completely relieved.

"Can you forgive me?"

Jackson chuckled. "Forgive you for what?"

Aaron sat up and looked into his eyes. "Tonight, you saw my dark side Jackson and it can get worse than that" he shook his head, he hated that side of him, the side that reacted violently if pushed or if he was riled up, he hated it.

"I love all of you Aaron, dark side or not, it's you…I'll never give up on you"

"You say that now"

"Yeah I'm saying that now and I'll say it again in twenty, forty…hell in sixty years if we're still around" Jackson smiled.

In that instant Aaron leaned forward quickly and kissed Jackson with such passion it overwhelmed them both but they drowned in their kiss as tongues embraced one another. When they parted for air they looked into each other's eyes. "Before you said you didn't know if you were helping me…well you have been, and you certainly have tonight, I guess you always will…I-I just hope I can be the man you want me to be"

Jackson smiled. "Looking down on that deck and I saw you, that was all I needed. I don't need any more confirmation of what kind of man you are, you are loving, caring, brave, tough, considerate, god damn sexy…in a bit of a mess at the minute but that's okay you've got me and I've got you and you'll be alright"

Aaron grinned at him. "I will won't I?"

"Too right you will" Jackson chuckled and pulled him in close again. Moments later Jackson got up. "I nearly forgot about him" he chuckled and pulled a wary face as he walked out onto the landing. "Adam!"

"Yeah?"

"Do you have anywhere to go?" Jackson called from the upstairs.

"Erm…no, not really…but it's no problem, I'll find somewhere…"

"You already have" Jackson smiled down at him. "There are two spare rooms, take your pick…me and the boyfriend are going to bed so make sure you lock up yeah?"

"A-are you being serious?" Adam asked in complete shock, he hadn't expected that offer.

"Deadly serious mate, you can stay here as long as you want"

"Wow, Jackson…thank you…"

"You're welcome" Jackson replied. "Oh..." he said and walked halfway down. "Listen I-I know this is awkward but you might hear stuff you know…"

Adam chuckled. "Hey this is your house mate you two go ahead and make love, have sex whatever you call it when you like, I doubt it'll bother me" Adam quickly frowned. "N-Not that I..I'm…"

Jackson burst into laughter. "I know what you meant, night mate…"

"Yeah, night" Adam watched him go then walked to the front door and locked it.

Back in the bedroom Jackson instantly saw Aaron was undressed and in bed. "You managed alright then?"

Aaron nodded as he perched himself up onto his elbow. "Hurts a bit but I'll go to the hospital tomorrow"

"No…we'll go" Jackson corrected him with a smile then quickly removed his clothes until he was down to his underwear then he turned the lamp on by the bed and turned the main light off and climbed into bed next to his boyfriend.

Aaron just lay staring down at him. "I want you to know just how sorry I' am" his husky voice spoke volumes but Jackson didn't seem to catch on.

"N-No…it's alright we sort-…" he sighed and closed his eyes in pleasure as he felt Aaron's hand slide inside his underwear, stroking and groping him. "Oh…a-alright then…" he groaned as he opened his eyes and watched Aaron disappear under the duvet then he felt his boxers sliding down his legs until he was completely naked. Seconds later, a deep groan escaped him as he felt Aaron's hot mouth envelope his enlarging manhood. This was what they most definitely needed. A very passionate, lust filled night indeed but one born out of the sheer love they had for one another and the special connection they shared.

* * *

**TBC…**


	24. The Deal

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"The Deal"**

* * *

Aaron and Jackson lay awake in bed the following morning after their night of love making. They only had managed a couple of hours sleep. Both boys looked at each other with a smile and a happiness that even broke through their desperately tired eyes. "Last night was amazing Aaron I-I..."

"You want it again?" Aaron asked with a smirk.

Jackson chuckled and leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. "I do yeah but what I was going to say was that I wasn't expecting you to be ready yet that's all…and my god you certainly know what you're doing, it was passionate, exhilarating, and more importantly, meaningful"

Aaron looked thoughtful as he listened to Jackson's words. "You do mean so much to me Jackson I wanted it to be meaningful, y-yesterday I pushed you so much, I know sex can't make up for things but you mean everything to me and I wanted to show you in that intimate way and I will in everyday things too"

"I know you will babe" Jackson whispered against Aaron's lips as he stared into his eyes then finally as he finished speaking their lips clashed once again. As they kissed Aaron began to move on top of Jackson but Jackson groaned and shook his head. "No you don't" he ordered, his voice was raspy and lust filled. He then pushed Aaron back down. "You've done enough…" he said before kissing Aaron's neck in a heated passion they were both sharing once again. Aaron's moans only added to Jackson's arousal. "Time to rest that foot…it's my turn now" he whispered breathlessly once again in between kissing his lovers neck, then slowly he lowered himself down, kissing, gently biting his boyfriends taut skin until he reached his desired location. A deep groan left Aaron as his head pressed back into the pillow and his eyes closed in complete pleasure.

…..

A few hours later Aaron and Jackson surfaced and walked into the kitchen to see Adam sitting having a late breakfast. Adam instantly grinned at them. "So good night and morning then?"

Aaron looked at Jackson and smirked, then looked back at Adam. "You could say that yeah"

Adam was smiling "Don't know why I asked really I mean the headboard banging off the wall and the slight squeaking of the bed and everything else gave me that answer when I got up. You two look knackered"

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah well it was worth it"

"Certainly was" Aaron's smirked seemed permanent; he coughed and tried to look serious as he began to hobble to the other end of the kitchen. "So breakfast then?"

"No you sit down Aaron, I'll do it"

Aaron rolled his eyes as he hobbled back to the table; he smiled at Jackson who was holding out the chair for him to take. "I have to rest my leg" he told Adam as he lowered himself into the chair.

"Well yeah you kinda do Aaron…"

"I'm surprised it's not worse" Jackson added as he raided the cupboards.

Aaron simply could not hide his cheeky smile. "I was careful"

Adam laughed and shook his head. "So…you know, who's the…?"

Aaron frowned and knew what Adam was asking. "Who's the man and who's the woman?"

"Uh yeah, something like that" Adam replied and Jackson laughed.

Aaron had missed his mate a lot and he didn't mind the question, and neither did Jackson obviously. Aaron took it as him being interested in them, and in their life it meant a lot.

"It's all man in that bedroom matey" Jackson replied seriously with a massive grin.

Adam smirked and gave an approving nod. "Good to know"

After breakfast Adam and Aaron were left alone together as Jackson went to take a shower. Adam rested his arms on the table and leaned in and looked at Aaron. "So…how are you feeling?"

Aaron nodded. "I'm alright" he said with a smile. "Just slightly embarrassed that you saw me in that state"

Adam shrugged. "Doesn't change anything, you're still my mate"

Aaron nodded and smiled softly. "Cheers"

"I know you guys are okay now but what's the plan?"

"Um, we talked and we compromised…I give it six months and try my hardest and if not then we go back together, and I will try my hardest Adam, I love him he deserves that much, well…a hell of a lot actually"

Adam smiled. "You're a good man Aaron"

"I try to be" he replied a little more quietly.

Adam sensed the lack of credit he was giving himself. "I'm telling you mate you are, and yeah you had a bit of a slip, so what?"

"B-But why haven't you two?"

Adam lowered his head and sighed then looked back up at him "Trust me mate I've had my fair share of guilt, sadness, just sitting alone sometimes and I'd cry to the point I'm in agony, the nightmares are slowly going. And I can't speak for Jackson but everyone reacts differently"

Aaron nodded. "I'll talk to him tonight" he smiled. "He needs looking after too"

Adam smiled. "So, Jackson said you're off to the hospital today?"

"Yeah, gunna get this bad boy sorted, cast and crutches probably"

"Mind if I come with ya?"

"No course not, more the merrier eh?" Aaron said with a smile.

….

A few hours later the three of them were sat in a corridor of the local hospital, they were told the most they'd be waiting would be ten minutes or so, they'd been there for five already. "I hope they give me some more of those pills while they're on aswell, bloody amazing them" Aaron commented as he sat in between Adam and Jackson. Jackson turned and smirked at him. "What?"

Jackson chuckled. "Nothing"

"Oh" Aaron said quietly. "Well hopefully I won't be complaining at you every minute once this is done"

"Hmm true, but I don't mind really, you know that don't ya?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded with a smile. As Jackson looked around he noticed someone familiar further down the corridor looking their way. He frowned, then as he realised who it was he sighed quietly and shook his head. The reporter was watching their every move it seemed.

"So what you doing today after this mate?" Aaron asked.

"Oh erm, think I'll go and look for a job, there's got to be plenty of opportunities around here, bloody better be it's what I came for" Adam replied with a chuckle.

"Ah you'll find something, have a look for me while you're on too?" he asked him

"Yeah course I will"

"Cheers mate, I'll have a look in the paper too when I get back and in the morning, hopefully there'll be something"

Adam nodded. "What you wanting to do?"

Aaron shrugged. "Never really thought about it"

"Well what you good at?" Jackson chirped in.

Aaron pouted then it turned into a cheeky smile. "Stealing" he said jokingly as if he was proud of it, it made the boys laugh and himself.

"You're mad you" Adam told him.

"That's me…Maybe something with cars, I know the basics, if not that I'll take anything"

"Sounds good" Jackson replied with a smile.

"Mr. Livesy" a female nurse called as she stepped out of a room a few doors up. Aaron turned and nodded and got up carefully.

"You want me to come in?" Jackson asked.

Aaron turned as he began to walk. "Nah you're alright, keep him company, I shouldn't be too long"

Jackson smiled. "Alright" with that Aaron disappeared off into the room and Jackson then quickly looked down the corridor and the reporter was still there. "Will you be alright for a sec? I just want to see if there's a shop around…I'm parched"

"Oh yeah, yeah no worries"

"Won't be long" Jackson told him as he got up and walked down the corridor.

Stopping in front of the reporter several seconds later the smirk on his face was enough for Jackson to want to punch him. "You're following us"

The reporter shrugged. "Free country last time I checked"

"I think when you start following people it crosses a line"

"Yeah well…you know what I want"

Jackson sighed and looked around the corner to see Adam sat waiting alone.

"And after this" the reporter pointed to his bruised nose and split lip. "I think it's only fair I get what I want"

"If I do this…you won't go to the police about Aaron…" Jackson told him, and by doing so he knew he himself was crossing a line over Aaron's wishes.

"But I want Aaron's side"

"It's this or nothing…and Aaron was with me the entire time anyway you'll have both sides"

The reporter watched Jackson carefully as he decided on his decision. "Your story…and no charges on Aaron?" he asked.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah" he replied as he swallowed hard.

"Alright, you've got a deal…there's a café around the corner, meet me there once you've seen to him"

Jackson nodded. "Alright"

The reporter turned and walked away, leaving Jackson regretting what he had decided to do instantly. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. Some things just had to be done. He turned and walked back to Adam.

"Didn't find anything then?" Adam asked.

"Nah and I didn't wanna go too far either" he told him as he sat back down.

"Probably the best bet"

"Listen mate once he's out of there do you mind going back home with him? I know you had plans but I need to go and get some things for the house, and I don't really wanna make him traipse around after me, not when he's just got the crutches"

"Yeah, yeah sure I'll go out tomorrow"

"Cheers mate, I'll get us some lager in aswell" he grinned. "Can't go without that"

"I appreciate it Jackson and once I get myself a job I'll chip in more you know, just at the minute I don't have much-"

"Hey, don't worry about it" he smiled. "I know you will contribute when you can"

Adam nodded with a smile.

A few minutes later Aaron came out of the room on his crutches and his foot was in a cast and he was biting down on a bag which contained his pills. Jackson quickly got up and took them from his mouth.

"Cheers" Aaron told him.

"No worries, all set then?"

"Yep, let's go" Aaron smiled.

They made their way back the way they came and Jackson explained the 'shopping' situation and Adam told him he'd go back with him just to keep an eye. "Ah ok bring back some flying saucers then, if they do them here that is"

"No worries, I'll have a look" Jackson replied with a smile as they left the hospital. "See you in a bit then"

"Yeah see ya" Aaron replied as he watched his boyfriend walk off down the street and found himself staring with a smirk on his face. He was quickly brought back to reality when Adam slapped him hard on the arm and laughed.

"Oi!"

"That hurt!" Aaron complained.

"So, stop perving you perv"

"Ah but see that's where you're wrong, he's mine so technically…"

Adam rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah…"

Before they began to walk back themselves Aaron took one last look and felt a shiver go through him. It certainly was love.

…

Jackson found the café easily and he walked in and saw the reporter sat at a table by the window; he approached with a stoic look on his face and he pulled the seat back and sat down.

"Glad you could make it"

"Well we have a deal, I'll stick to my part of it but will you?" Jackson asked seriously.

"What do you take me for?" he chuckled.

"I take you for a man who likes to stalk innocent people who have been through a traumatic time, but of course money is all that concerns you"

"It has too I have deadlines and a family to support" he explained with a sigh. "Would you like a coffee or a tea, you English drink a lot of that…"

"No…" Jackson replied with an arched brow. "I don't want anything, let's just get this done"

The reporter nodded and pulled out his notepad. "Fair enough, let's begin"

Jackson nodded and looked out of the window, he had no reason to be because he knew Aaron was going home but in those moments he felt extremely paranoid.

….

Aaron and Adam were sat in the living room eating a sandwich while chatting and having a laugh. Adam had already defaced the cast; he'd drawn a huge smiley face and a simple message in case Aaron got depressed over his lack of mobility _love ya mate! _he hoped when he saw it in his dark mood it would help. A little while later the closing of the door and the rustling of bags told them that Jackson had returned. "Help me up"

Adam got up and grabbed Aaron's hand and helped him to his feet, then quickly hadn't the crutches to him before he lost his balance which he could see happening if he left him standing unaided long enough, it was a funny thought. Aaron headed into the kitchen as Jackson was unpacking the shopping; Jackson turned to him and smiled. "How you doing?"

"Yeah good, be better if you kissed me though"

"Mmm" Jackson sounded with a smile as he walked to him and wrapped his arms around him then kissed him passionately on his lips.

"So, what you get?"

"Some food, lager, and your precious flying saucers" he said with a grimace.

"Don't knock them till you've tried them you"

"Thing is I have…mingin!" Jackson told him as he laughed.

"No taste" Aaron said with a shake of the head.

"Get out of it you!" Jackson told him as he flung the t-towel at him.

"Alright, don't be long Walsh"

"I'll do this then I'll be in" he told Aaron with a smile.

Aaron smiled as he turned and left him alone.

Jackson watched him go then rested back against the bench and let out an uneasy breath, he was shaky and he pulled out a small bottle of vodka from the bag and opened it and took a long swig, he let out a painful sigh as the liquid burnt his throat.

_Oh god what the hell have I done! I'm so angry at myself, I just went against every reason Aaron gave for not giving our story and I've gone and done just that, given our story because it is ours, we shared that experience together, I've betrayed him…god what am I going to do? He's going to hate me if he finds out, he is an- and he'll leave…I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack or something…j-just breathe h-he'll understand, he has too! It was either that or him being arrested; I did it for him, for us…for our life together. I feel terrible but it had to be done, the guy wasn't going to let up otherwise…I know Aaron will be furious at first but yeah…I nod…he should understand eventually, I reach for the bottle again and take another long swig – God it burns! Ahh…suppose I better get in there and act normal, but thing is…I'm not so good at pretending, just like I couldn't pretend that I wasn't attracted to him when I was with Sam…he'll either find out tonight…o-or well hopefully he won't, that'd be good but then again, I can't keep this from him forever…_

With the wireless playing quietly in the background the three of them sat with some snacks and alcohol. Aaron was drinking, his reason for doing so was because he'd start his medication tomorrow, and he made them both laugh. The night was going well; their home was comfortable, cosy and warm. They talked, laughed and joked together until the topic of the reporter came up, Jackson dreaded this.

"Jackson!" Aaron said as he nudged him.

"Sorry, what?"

"You're in a world of your own; I said do you think he'll come back?"

"I don't know, maybe he got the message" he forced a smile and placed his arm around Aaron and pulled him in close.

Adam watched their closeness with a smile. "Let's hope, or I'll have to have words myself"

"No mate, seriously don't get involved he's not worth it" Aaron told him.

"Wise words should have thought about that last night" Jackson nudged him gently.

Aaron scowled. "Yeah, yeah" he then smiled. "It was a mistake, but like I said, that's what I'm like" he shrugged.

The night continued until they all went to bed in the early hours of the morning.

….

The following morning Aaron woke to no Jackson beside him and with a hangover he precariously made his way down the stairs. Adam was already up and about; he was an early bird it seemed. Adam heard him coming down and quickly rushed to him, remembering the amount of alcohol and wondering if his hangover was as bad as his own he couldn't afford anymore falls.

Aaron groaned as he hopped down each step, it was making his stomach flip and not in a good way. Adam chuckled. "You look ill"

"I' am" his expression was a complete 'feel sorry for me' kind of expression.

Adam laughed as he walked up the last few steps to help him, placing his arm around him he got down without any problems.

"Where's Jackson?"

"Just went to get some milk…the one thing he forgot yesterday"

"Oh right…I'll be in the living room then, is the paper here yet? Wanna get started looking for a job"

"Uh yeah I just had it, nothing in it for me unfortunately"

"Ahh you'll find something mate"

Adam smiled. "I'll go get it"

Moments later Adam returned and handed the paper to him and went and got dressed.

Aaron set about reading, normally he would have skipped to the jobs pages but not this time for some unknown reason he began to skim through….

….

Aaron sat with folded arms and if looks could kill... Yeah, Aaron Livesy was not very impressed since reading that paper; he didn't even get to the jobs section after he read the interview with Jackson he folded over the paper and placed it down on the coffee table and sat silently and on the outside he appeared calm but inside he was a volcano waiting to erupt.

_What the hell is going on in his head! Grr! No I didn't ask him not to give our story because I didn't think I fucking had too! I'm livid, absolutely livid! He's gone behind my back and to some people, no it might not be a big deal, but this is to me because what we went through is very personal and now everyone who reads that's bloody paper will know what happened to us! Why should they know? It was private and a horrible experience I didn't want to be shared and he knew that! _

Aaron wasn't going to argue actually, he reached for the paper and opened it out onto the page where the interview was and he left it on the table. Moments later Jackson walked back in and Aaron looked towards the door and waited for him to appear. Seconds later when he did Aaron simply just looked away and got to his feet, grabbed his crutches and started walking towards him to the door; he passed him without a word which confused Jackson. "Aaron?" he asked with a frown as he watched him beginning to make his way upstairs.

"I wouldn't speak to me for a while if I were you Jackson"

"Erm why?"

"Because I'm so close to knocking your head off your shoulders, that's why!"

Jackson's frown deepened and he looked around the living room, his eyes widened when he set eyes on the newspaper, he approached quickly and read the headline. 'Survivor gives his story' He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, he ran back out into the passageway. "A-Aaron I had too!"

"Save it. I'm not interested in that or _YOU_ right now!" Aaron growled angrily as he reached the top of the stairs and then with a bit of a delay their bedroom door slammed shut.

Jackson couldn't leave it there so he ran up the stairs and barged into their bedroom, the crutches had been discarded on the floor and Aaron lay on the bed with his back facing him. "I have to explain" Jackson rushed.

"Have you gone deaf? I just said I'm not interested!"

"I-I did it because the police could have been at the door, he was lurking around the hospital for god sake he just wouldn't let it go!"

"But you know how I felt about it Jackson"

Jackson lowered his head and he nodded. "I know…I've explained now alright, hate me all you want but at the end of the day it saved you from being arrested and probably from jail too, and we still have each other…I did it for us Aaron…and while you're lying there moping try for one second considering that doing that interview was difficult for me too, I hated going behind your back but it hurt telling the story because you aren't the only one hurting Aaron" Jackson spoke with a sharp tone and turned and left slamming the door behind him.

* * *

**TBC…**


	25. Wake Up Call

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Wake Up Call"**

* * *

The small green area by their house was quiet; no sounds could be heard except from the light wind, the branches on the trees swayed gently under its influence. It was a cool day and the clouds were dark, bad weather was setting in. Aaron stood with the help of his crutches a few metres behind the bench Jackson was sitting on presumably lost in his own thoughts. Aaron frowned and looked up at the dark grey clouds and made a connection; that they were exactly how their relationship was at the moment, cloudy. Clouded by anger, sadness and an insurmountable amount of pain, all those things had come lashing down in a few extreme storms. Those clouds had to go away, it was time.

"I-I" Aaron stopped at the words caught in his throat; he could feel himself welling up already. He took in a deep breath and blinked in an attempt to hold back the tears for now, at least. "I've been selfish" he declared and then he began to move forward into Jackson's view. With no reply or acknowledgement from his boyfriend Aaron sat on the bench beside him facing him. "Talk to me Jackson. I-I understand why you gave the story to that creep, I-I do…" he began to panic for fear of losing Jackson and the tears that fell seconds later showed how much he didn't want that to happen. "L-Listen, I" he sighed and took a breath to calm himself for a second then he tried again. "I had a wakeup call"

Jackson lifted his head and looked at Aaron with a frown. Aaron frowned himself too as the memory resurfaced and he looked down at the ground.

…..

_With the slam of the door Adam charged up the stairs and barged into Aaron and Jackson's bedroom. "You're such an idiot Aaron! Get up off your arse right now! He's stormed out what you going to do about it?"_

_Aaron sat up and the frown on his face was seen by Adam. "Sit here and feel sorry for myself"_

_Adam rolled his eyes with a sigh. "You're so cocky sometimes; you haven't got a clue how lucky you are Aaron! You've got an amazing home, a good life and a man who worships the ground you walk on" he was on a tangent now. "…And for some unfathomable reason you treat him like shit! What the hell is wrong with you?" Adam demanded loudly. _

_Aaron shrugged his shoulders as he stared down at the bed. _

_Instantly Adam's jaw was clenched and he moved forward quickly and got in Aaron's face. "What? You starting to realise now are ya?"_

"_What do you want me to do?" Aaron asked as he looked back up at him, the tears brimming in his eyes caused Adam to soften and he stepped back. _

"_You need to get up, go and find him but if you're so blind you can't see that he did it for you…then…you don't deserve his love. If that's the case then stay here" Adam paused but his tirade continued seconds later. "And can you not imagine what it took for him to even consider talking to that idiot? But yet he did it FOR YOU"_

_Aaron sniffled as the tears were constantly flowing. _

"_You've got five seconds to get up before I drag you downstairs and shove you out that damned door!"_

_Aaron frowned, trying to think but he couldn't Adam was bombarding him. _

"_1….2" Adam began._

_Aaron let out a loud sigh and his shoulders slumped. "Why you doing this?"_

"_Because I care is it not obvious?" more silence passed between them "3…"_

_Aaron blew out a steady breath then held up his hand for Adam to take, which he did and helped Aaron up. _

"_Go on, go and find him"_

_Aaron nodded as he grabbed his crutches and left the bedroom._

…_.._

"Jackson I'm sorry" Aaron told him, his tone was sincere.

Jackson blinked as he zoned in on what Aaron was saying. "You still want to knock my head off my shoulders?" he asked quietly.

Aaron frowned harshly. "What? No…" he sighed. "I-I didn't mean it. I was angry, I'd never hurt you Jackson, you must know that?" he asked just as the rain began to pour – as expected.

Jackson looked up at the sky with a thoughtful look in his eyes. "You scare me sometimes Aaron"

Aaron nodded. "I scare myself"

"You just need to think and hopefully realise why I did it. It wasn't easy for me. On some level I lowered myself to his and I hated it"

"C-Come on let's get back inside" Aaron suggested but Jackson declined with a shake of his head.

"If I had to do it all again, just to keep you from the possibility of prison, then I would"

Aaron looked at him lovingly and proud. "You always seem so strong Jackson"

"I have to be" Jackson replied as he gave a gentle smile in Aaron's direction.

"No, no you don't…for a while there I forgot that you are hurting aswell" Aaron explained himself and bit his lower lip as he mulled over his words. "I've been so selfish" he admitted it as the tears came back with full force. "But not anymore, I'm here for you as much as you are for me. I really hope you know that?"

In that second and in response to Aaron's words Jackson let out a sob that broke Aaron's heart, the sadness from the cry was plain to see on Aaron's face as he quickly closed the gap between them and placed his arm around him pulling him in closer. "I'm so sorry please forgive me" he whispered in his ear. "Please I-I know I've been horrible, too much to handle lately and I can make it up to you p-please just don't go"

Jackson shook his head as he cried. "I-I'm not going anywhere" he told him as he lifted his head and stared into Aaron's shiny yet red teary eyes. "I told you I'd never go anywhere and I meant it Aaron. The only thing I'm sorry for is going behind your back, but not the rest because I-"

"I know" Aaron managed a smile. "You did it for us"

Jackson nodded. "I won't go behind your back again"

"And I'll, well I'll calm my little self-down" he smirked.

Jackson couldn't help the smile growing on his face. "That'd be good"

Aaron nodded. "You're shivering"

"So are you" Jackson replied as they looked into each other's eyes, a look that gave the impression that time and everything around them had stopped.

Aaron shrugged and slowly began to move closer, both aware of what was about to happen. Aaron then raised his rain soaked hand and gently cupped Jackson's wet face.

Jackson's heart skipped a beat and he swallowed hard. "Kiss me" he ordered in a husky, quiet voice, the moment entrancing him, as if under a spell, a spell he didn't want to break free from yet. His lips, his soft lips on his and the stubble on his chin rubbing against his own aroused him no end, and as Aaron's tongue slowly entered his mouth Jackson kissed back, tasting him and rubbing his tongue against Aaron's, the deep passionate kiss lasted several seconds until they parted for air, when they did their eyes opened once again onto each other's, smile's owning their lips. "Let's go home"

"Sounds good to me" Aaron smiled widely at him. "Fancy taking a bath with me?"

"What about the cast?" Jackson asked as he stood up and helped Aaron to his feet.

"Oh that's no trouble, it can hang over the edge" he explained with a really serious tone which made Jackson chuckle.

Even through the hard times Jackson realised in that moment when the man he loved made him laugh that it was one of many, many reasons why he loved him so dearly and those moments outweighed the bad times, he just had to remember that because in the end, they'd make it through and now he could see that they were almost there.

As they left the deserted rain soaked park they chatted together. "You said I hadn't been sleeping much lately…"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah"

"Which tells me you haven't either, otherwise how would you know?"

Aaron smirked. "We can work on it together"

Jackson smiled gratefully at Aaron, lost in thought at how amazing a person he actually was, it wasn't that he didn't already know but things just reaffirmed it for Jackson. "You know…I really do love you Aaron" he told him as they crossed the road to their home.

"And I love you…so much" Aaron told him definitively. "And when we walk through that front door it's a fresh start from now on, I mean it" he smiled.

Jackson was smiling too. "I like the sound of that. Come on then I'll give you a hand up the steps"

"That'd be great thanks, I'm exhausted, these crutches are great but they really take it out of ya"

"I bet, I know what else does" Jackson told him as he gave him a wink.

"Oh…" he frowned. "Oh yeah! I know what that is" Aaron grinned. "The sooner we get to it we might get a good night's sleep"

"And what if I willingly want to be kept awake all night?"

"Well then I'm sure it can be arranged" Aaron told him as they reached the top of the steps and Jackson opened up the door. "Seems I'm an expert in that"

Jackson smirked. "Oh yeah you're well versed"

Aaron chuckled. "Get in the house you, time to get warmed up"

He did as ordered. "Mmm" Jackson sounded with a smile on his lips as vivid images came to mind.

Aaron followed him in and closed the door behind them. He stood still for a moment getting his breath back and he watched Jackson walk into the kitchen, he was lost in his thoughts. This was the chance of a fresh start like he'd promised and he was going to make sure it was for the both of them.

"Aaron" Jackson called. "You alright?"

"Oh uh, yeah" he smiled. "Won't be a sec" _Fresh start _he thought _Yeah, it's definitely time for one of those _

* * *

**TBC…**


	26. Longing

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Longing"**

* * *

_Dear Mum, _

_Well its five am here, woke up earlier than normal and thought I'd write to you, not that I wasn't going too but you know what I mean. Anyway I'm sorry it's been a few months since my first letter, well four actually…things have been mad here lately, my mate Adam I told you about he moved out and got a job on a farm, he seems to like it, the family who own it rented out a room for him, he means a hell of a lot to me so I'm pleased for him. _

_Jackson and I have moved house too, far, far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I got a job, can you believe that? I never thought I'd find one; it's nothing glamorous though I just work down in the mine, made a few good mates though. I like it now everything seems to have a sense of order. Jackson started his own building firm and by the looks of the brand spanking new stuff he's bought it seems to be taking off quite well. _

_Thing is where we've moved is way closer to Jackson's mum Hazel than I had expected. You remember me telling you about her in my first letter? But yeah she can have her weird moments with me at times but I just nod smile and let it go over my head. And the more I see her and Jackson together the more I miss you. _

_I know coming to America was my choice and I knew I'd miss you but I think because of the sinking it's made me miss you even more because I know what could have been, and I know you've asked me to let you in, to let you know what happened and I'm sorry but I just can't. I hope you understand? _

_Anyway I'll stop this here, I love you so much mum, I look forward to your next letter._

_Love Always, _

_Aaron x_

Jackson began to wake up and he lifted himself up onto his elbow and looked across the room to see Aaron sat at the desk. "What you doing babe?" he asked groggily.

Aaron turned and faced him with a smile. "Just been writing my mum a letter" he said as he folded the piece of paper.

"Wow, it's been a while since you've done that"

Aaron nodded. "Four months since the first one…but I explained about stuff here so she'll understand hopefully…"

"Yeah course she will, you alright though Aaron?"

"Err yeah" he nodded. "Just thinking about the last six months…well it'll be six in a few days…and I just think about it you know? The promise we made" Jackson nodded. "That I- well w-we did it didn't we?"

Jackson smiled widely. "We certainly did…come back to bed…just for half an hour"

It didn't take much convincing and Aaron got up and walked the few steps to bed and let his dressing gown slide off his naked back down onto the floor. He smirked at Jackson and climbed into bed and snuggled up against his naked boyfriend. "Like you said it's still a few days till the actual six months mark but do you have an early indication of your decision?" Jackson asked

Aaron pouted as he mulled over the question. "Well…" he sighed and looked up at Jackson as he lay in the builders arms. "We have jobs, friends…everything we could want, I-I don't want to ruin what we've built here…yeah I miss my mum" he shrugged. "But some people can't have everything, I can still write to her, but I've got you and you more than make up for not having her around, I love you Jackson and my answer is no, I don't want to go back"

Jackson grinned and kissed him passionately on his lips. "Thank you"

"No, thank you…you were right, I just had to try" Aaron said with a smile.

….

Later that day Aaron arrived home after dark, he was always really dirty after a day's work, his hands, arms, face and neck were black. He took a breath as he closed the front door, he could hear Hazel in the living room. Seconds later Jackson appeared in the hallway with a smirk on his lips. "Who's this stranger then?"

Aaron sighed and looked at him with a frown. "That jokes getting old now Jackson"

Jackson laughed. "You're baths ready babe, enjoy"

"Oh trust me I will" he replied as he removed his boots and started walking up the stairs.

Standing naked at the sink Aaron looked at the state of himself in the reflection of the mirrored cabinet door that was hung above the sink "Angin job but someone's got to do it" he reasoned then turned to the bath and stepped in. He lowered himself down and began to lie down in it, soothing his aching muscles in the really hot water just how he liked it.

A while later after a long rest in the bath, he emerged clean and fresh, changed into comfortable clothes and he ran down the stairs and into the living room but suddenly stopped when he saw the painting Hazel had not long completed by the looks of her equipment still everywhere. The painting was resting up on an easel - it was of Titanic's stern high out of the water and light boats were painted in the foreground. She truly did have a magnificent talent, it was a true genuine take on the event but still it stunned him slightly and Jackson looked at him and knew Aaron wasn't comfortable. He smiled sheepishly at Aaron. "I did tell her"

Hazel looked up briefly as she began to pack away things that didn't need cleaning. "And you said you were both okay now"

Jackson frowned. "Still doesn't mean we'd want to see it mum"

"Well neither did I Jackson but this is what I saw and people deserve to see it and know what we went through"

Aaron rolled his eyes and smirked. "I'm not getting into this conversation, been down this road before" he told them with a chuckle. "Tea anyone?" he asked as he turned and began walking away.

"Please" they both replied.

Aaron returned ten minutes later with the tea, he'd grabbed something to eat, he assumed Jackson had already eaten, which lately had been the case. Aaron got in from work late a lot and it wasn't fair for Jackson to wait.

He placed the tea down and notices a pile of playing cards, he smiled and was lost in thought for a moment, a thought that increased his longing, the thought in fact was a memory of his mum using playing cards to teach him how to count. He smiled unknowingly because he remembered it vividly for some reason; it was the only real memory of his very early childhood he retained. Hazel looked up at him and saw in his eyes the longing.

Jackson noticed the smile and frowned. "You alright?"

Aaron came back to reality. "Yeah, fine"

Jackson grinned and patted the sofa beside him and Aaron quickly sat close to him. The evening progressed nicely with a game of cards, chatter and laughter. Aaron however had bowed out early because the start of his shift the following day was quite early.

With Hazel and Jackson alone she took the opportunity to tell him. "Aaron's doing alright now isn't he?" she asked.

"Uh yeah, misses his mum though"

"Ahh…so seeing me and you won't help"

"Well no but he doesn't mind you being here at all" Jackson told her.

"I know but maybe you could do something about it, technically he is alone here, you've got me…"

"Hmm" Jackson mumbled as he considered Hazel's words. He had a plan.

* * *

**TBC…**


	27. Curve Ball Indeed

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Curve Ball Indeed"**

* * *

Aaron walked happily downstairs and peeked into the living room and was relieved to see no Hazel but even more so to no sighting of the painting, that was a relief not having to look at that again. "Aaron?" he heard Jackson calling out from the kitchen.

"Yep it's me" he replied as he carried on to the kitchen.

"Morning babe, sleep well?"

"Yeah I did, you're up a bit early though aren't ya? What with it being your day off I thought you'd revel in the chance of a lie in"

"I'd love too but I'm busy today"

"Oh" Aaron said with a frown. "Doing?"

"Never you mind nosey" Jackson said with a smirk as he passed him a plate with a few slices of toast on it.

Aaron took it gratefully and began eating. "Oh I won't be home after work, going to the pub"

"Ah what?" Jackson sighed. "Again?" he complained.

"Yeah me and a few of the lads, I can clean up a bit there, then head back into town, still be in my work clothes but we all will and the landlady's used to it so…" Aaron said as he munched on his toast. "And anyway, you're busy lately me being out isn't going to make any difference to you, and it hasn't so far, has it?"

"No, no I-I'm just used to you being around that's all and yes I know you've got your job and mates now so I can't expect your attention twenty four seven, I- I wasn't saying you couldn't go I didn't mean it to sound that way, I just miss you lately" Jackson told him honestly.

"I know but we have to have our time apart too" Aaron told him with a smile.

After their morning routine was done both boys went their separate ways for the day after saying goodbye. Aaron went to work and Jackson headed to his mums. It was early, Jackson was aware of that and she'd probably kill him but he wanted to talk to her. He knocked on the door as the sun was rising and moments later it opened. Hazel stood dressed and ready for the day. "Blimey what's wrong?"

Jackson shrugged.

"Come on son, it's just gone half six and you're at my door" she told him with a chuckle.

"And I'm surprised you're up and ready" he replied, then his shoulder slumped and he sighed. "Can I come in?"

"Ohhh I see" she said as she stepped back to let him in. "You need one of those talks? What could possibly be wrong now?" she asked as she closed the door and followed him through to the kitchen.

"I-It's just Aaron"

"Well I guessed that, what about him?"

"He's been going out loads lately…"

Hazel frowned; she didn't see what was wrong with that. "Okay…and this started when?"

"About the time he got the job a few months back"

Hazel rolled her eyes as she rested against a bench.

"Don't look like that, what?" Jackson asked with some annoyance.

"Think about it Jackson, he's got a new job, been unleashed into a new world, made friends…could you have possibly expected anything different?"

"Well…no" he was hesitant. "But I…"

"You miss him?" Jackson nodded. "And have you told him this?"

"Yes, but he's still going out tonight"

"Right, you my child sit yourself down, I'll boil the kettle…"

Jackson blew out a deep breath and did as he was told and sat at the small table.

Hazel sat down a few minutes later and handed him the hot cup of coffee. "Okay, so you told him you miss him but he's still going?"

"Yeah, a-and I know what you're going to say but it doesn't help"

"That time apart is good for you? Well yes Jackson it is, me and your father never really spent time away from each other, look what happened there"

"No mum, you know why dad left…"

Hazel sighed. "The reason you think isn't all of the reason why…believe it or not this is good for you both and he's young it's what he should be doing, going out with mates and getting drunk…"

Jackson looked down into his cup of coffee.

"Would you rather be spending every minute with each other outside of work hours and ending up with absolutely nothing to talk about?"

"No but…"

"No there's no buts Jackson, you both have been together constantly the last six months at least until you both became employed"

"I know but at this rate I'll never see him mum, the firm is hectic at the minute we're inundated with jobs and if Aaron's just going to go out every night well…well I'm just scared we'll drift apart"

Hazel watched him and felt sympathy for him. "Is my boy feeling insecure?"

Jackson scoffed. "Oh don't mum, I know how stupid it is but I can't help feeling the way I do"

"I know you can't…and if you listen to just one thing I say today, make this it…although you run a business and you lead a busy life you have to remember that you Jackson are also still young, let yourself be young…don't worry about things like that, hey I'm sure if you go to this pub and meet him he wouldn't mind"

Jackson frowned. "No way can I do that!"

"Who says?"

Jackson pouted, thinking about it. "I-I should get what I've got to do done today but I've got to take the car and drive to the city…should be back late evening, might be able to join him…"

Hazel smiled. "Now that's what I wanted to hear"

….

The long day had ended and Aaron headed to the pub with Mark, Simon and Eric he was close to them all but to Mark more so, they worked together every day and Simon and Eric worked in a separate area in the mine but still close by that they were able to talk.

They laughed and joked as they crossed the road to the pub, as they entered they were greeted by the landlady. "Ahh, how's my mining boys doing today then?"

"Parched" Aaron grinned as he rested against the bar.

"Well then Mr. Livesy you've come to the right place"

Eric laughed as she walked away to tend to their drinks. "She so fancies you mate"

Aaron scoffed. "Yeah, right…and anyway…bit too old for me" the only part of their banter that he hated were times like this, talking about whom presumably fancied who and the jokes that went with it. He noticed Mark smirking at him. "What?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing" Mark replied, the smirk was still on his lips. "I'll go and grab a table before it gets busy"

"Might aswell go and join him I'll get this round" he offered, Simon and Eric thanked him and followed Mark. Aaron propped himself up on a bar stool and waited.

Minutes later he left the flustered land lady to ogle over him as he sauntered off to the table with their pints. "She looking then?" he asked.

"Oh yes, biting her lip and everything!" Simon grinned.

"Oh shut it you course she isn't!" he told him after whacking him on the arm as he sat down.

"Nah mate, she is" Mark told him and she was seems she really had taken a liking to Aaron.

"Ah come off it seriously" he complained as he side glanced in her direction. "She's old enough to be my mother"

"So you'd say no to a bit of action round the back then?" Eric asked.

"Well actually yeah"

"Liar!" Simon told him and he and Eric laughed but Mark however was watching Aaron's body language intently.

After a couple of pints the lads had loosened up and were having fun, Simon and Eric were at the bar getting the next round in. Aaron looked over at Mark and noticed him staring at him.

"I know, you know" Mark began

Aaron frowned. "I don't know what you mean"

"That you-…" he stopped and leaned in closer. "You know, like men" he said in a quiet voice.

Aaron sighed. "And do you have a problem with that?" he asked seriously.

"No" Mark smiled. "Not when the guy in front of me is damn fine"

Aaron raised his eyebrows. "Oh I-I see…"

"So no, I don't have a problem with it" he told him then motioned his head in the direction of their other two friends. "But they might"

"Well they won't find out from me"

"Me either"

"Cool" Aaron smiled but a worry was now placed in his mind, being called 'damn fine' by another man was something he had not expected. Life never seemed to cease in throwing curve balls at him it seemed, however though he wasn't going to let it spoil his night. "How long have you known?"

"A month or so…the look in your eyes when you see the other lads at work sometimes…I figured it out…and I don't blame you, they're attractive even in their scruffy gear…"

"And…" Aaron blew out a breath. "Am I included with them?"

"I called you fine, course you are" he told Aaron with a wink.

"A-alright…" Aaron began. "I'm getting the impression of what kind of person you are, a go getter and that's fine and yeah you're alright too, fine even" he frowned. "But just keep your distance alright, we're good mates let's keep it that way"

"Sure" Mark smiled.

An hour or so later Aaron was on his way to being extremely drunk, he was lost in his old, yet new world with his mates that he hadn't noticed Jackson enter the pub.

Jackson stood in front of the door and looked around the smoke filled room and saw Aaron sat with his mates having a drink and enjoying a cigarette, the noise from their table was loud from the banter and laughter. Jackson swallowed hard as it hit him that this was the world Aaron was used too, more comfortable in, why should he invade that? His insecurities instantly resurfaced and he turned quickly and left.

"Right" Simon said as he unsteadily rose to his feet. "I'm off otherwise the misses will kill me" he told them and Eric then rose to his feet too. "Yep, me too…"

"Oh erm…I-I better head off too…" Aaron started.

"Nah you stay, have another drink with Mark, can't be leaving him by himself now can we?" Eric laughed.

"Ha you're funny" Mark said with a playful frown.

"Yeah go on" Simon encouraged.

"Uh yeah, yeah alright then" he nodded and smiled hesitantly.

They said their goodbyes and moments later it was just Mark and Aaron. Aaron felt a little apprehensive to be alone with him but Mark had agreed to what he'd told him earlier. It would be fine Aaron told himself and it was, their conversation flowed fine and there wasn't any awkwardness. After a few more pints though Aaron got up "Now I really must be getting back" he slurred as he swayed slightly.

Mark chuckled. "You're not going anywhere by yourself" he told him as he got to his feet. "I'll walk you"

"No I'll be fine" he chuckled slightly, a way to hide his nerves that seemed to appear.

"If anything happens to you I won't forgive myself, so shut up and let me walk you"

Aaron stared at him then seconds later he made his decision and nodded, accepting Mark's help.

Outside in the cold night air both men began to walk but as they reached the alleyway that ran down the side of the tavern, Mark gently guided Aaron down it.

"Whoa!" Aaron panicked as he felt his back pushing up against a wall. "What are you doing?"

"I-I just want to talk, I'm not going to hurt you…no one will suspect now that we're down here" Mark told him.

"The place is dead anyway we would have been fine on the street"

"W-What you said earlier about keeping my distance…well…I don't think I can, Aaron…I've had my eye on you for some time"

Aaron sighed. "For god sake Mark you can't do this seriously…and to be honest I'm in no state to be having any kind of conversation, I can't even see you either its pitch black down here…which…" he swallowed hard. "Is slightly unnerving" as soon as the words left his mouth Aaron felt Mark's lips on his own, a strangers lips. Aaron closed his lips tightly and grumbled slightly at the intrusion and in the darkness he felt Mark right in front of him, too close for his liking and he began to push him away but it was a bit of a struggle but eventually Aaron pushed Mark away and Aaron stumbled back out into the light of the street.

Mark followed him.

"What the hell was that!" Aaron demanded as he wiped his lips ferociously.

"You know what that was!"

Aaron sighed. "No! Don't do that! If you managed to figure me out then you should have clicked that my brother isn't in fact my brother at all!"

Mark nodded. "Yeah what about him?"

"Ah god, come on! You can't go around doing that just because _you_like someone"

"Why not?" Mark shrugged.

"Because I love him you idiot! I can't believe you just did that. I'm not single, remember that!" Aaron warned with the point of his finger and then he turned and walked unsteadily in the direction of home but Mark decided to follow.

"I've seen the way you look at me Aaron"

Aaron scrunched his face. "I haven't looked at you in any way!"

"I-It's only a matter of time until you give in"

"Oh get a grip of yourself"

Mark began to run after him and grabbed his arm and spun Aaron around. Aaron glared at the grip of his hand around his arm then glared up at him; there was no distance between them "What? You gunna try it on are you?" Aaron asked as he began to feel Mark's hand groping his crotch area.

Aaron lowered his head, shaking it as he clenched his jaw. He didn't have the energy to react like he would have normally, the effect of the alcohol relaxed him too much but then again he wasn't expecting a situation like this.

"Hmm" Mark smiled. "You haven't moved yet…"

Aaron swallowed hard. "I-I-I" he stuttered, the feel of the groping motions distracted him but he had to try and at least think and move away. "I don't think the bosses would be very impressed by having a man down when you tell them you have two broken hands now will they?" They just stared at each other. "Remove your hands from me now or I _will_ break them"

Mark sighed and stepped back, removing his hold on Aaron at the same time. "I'm sorry"

"No, I don't think you are" Aaron spat angrily at him and walked away.

…

Jackson jumped up off the sofa when he heard the front door open. As he walked to the hallway he checked the time, it was gone one am. He sighed and shook his head, but he suddenly sensed Aaron's riled up state. "Aaron?"

"Yep" he replied sharply as he hung up his work jacket.

"You okay?"

"Oh yeah, peachy" he replied sarcastically as he rubbed his head and sighed. He then made a move for the stairs. "I'm going to have a quick shower then go to bed"

"Yeah…" Jackson frowned. "Alright…good night?"

"Suppose yeah"

"It's nearly half one Aaron"

Aaron shrugged as he stopped halfway up. "And? You didn't have to stay up; I'm not some kid who needs babysitting"

"If I was babysitting you Aaron I'd have been out keeping an eye on you but I wasn't" he chose not to tell him how close he was to surprising him earlier in the evening.

Aaron sighed loudly. "They had a lock in alright; I got swept up in the fun"

"Again" Jackson said with a roll of his eyes.

"Oh I can't be doing with this right now; I'm going for a shower"

"Is that a good idea? You're smashed"

Aaron shrugged again as he continued to make his way up the stairs. "I don't know Jackson why don't you start the babysitting now eh?"

"What the hell has got into you?!" he called up after him.

Aaron's response however was the slam of the bathroom door.

* * *

**TBC…**


	28. Trouble

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Trouble"**

* * *

Aaron stared at his reflection in the mirror, his tired eyes looked awful and his banging head made him feel crap, he wasn't hung over as such just a little groggy. He frowned as the events of the early hours of the morning ran through his mind, in a way he'd been assaulted. _Or was I? _he asked himself as his frown deepened. An unwanted kiss from another man. _Or was it? _He asked himself. A sexual grope from his friend that wasn't hinted on or asked for. _Or was it? _He asked himself once more. He dropped his head and stared down into the sink and shook his head. "You get yourself into some situations Livesy but this is by far the stupidest!" he cursed himself quietly before walking out of the bathroom and heading downstairs, as he reached the bottom he suddenly felt like a child the morning after getting told off, guilt filled his eyes. He blew out a breath and stepped down and began to walk along the hallway to the kitchen. "Up early again then?" he asked as he saw Jackson cleaning his plate from breakfast.

"Uh huh" Jackson mumbled. "You should eat"

"Nah I'm alright" he replied as he leaned against the kitchen door with his arms folded. "You off work again?" he asked with a frown.

"Yeah, and you should eat"

"And I said no" he replied sharply with a glare toward Jackson.

Jackson frowned and seconds later continued what he was doing. "Got stuff to do so wanna get it done ASAP"

Aaron flicked up his eyebrows, not surprised at his reply. "Again? That's the second time this week" he wondered what was going on. "What's so important? Can't you just relax at home?"

"No, actually I can't but maybe if I wasn't busy I'd spend the day in the pub" he said clearly and with a hint of annoyance.

"Err! You were fine with me going!"

Jackson turned to face him. "Was I? And then you stroll in after one am? Nice that Aaron, just nice!" Jackson sighed and flung the t-towel onto the bench.

"What is wrong with you?" Aaron asked with a raised voice.

"Nothing Aaron, you better go or you'll be late"

Aaron looked up at the clock then pushed himself up off the door. "Yep suppose I better" after grabbing his work jacket he left the house and slammed the door behind him.

Jackson let out a loud sigh and shook his head quickly.

Arriving at work Aaron grabbed a helmet and his tools and headed down the mine, it was dark, the low lighting from the lamps was just what he needed, to be in the dark for a while. As he approached his section he saw Mark was already there working, he chose to walk by him and start working, staying quiet until spoken too.

It was a good five minutes before there was any conversation, despite Mark noticing Aaron several minutes before hand. Mark stood up straight and looked at him. "Listen Aaron…mate I-I don't know what happened last night, I was drunk, I went too far"

Aaron scoffed loudly.

"Look! I'm trying here…"

"You tried to take advantage of me"

Mark pulled a face. "Don't say that"

"It's true, you touched me."

"I-I guess I did it because I've wanted too since we met" he explained with a shrug.

"Still doesn't give you the right"

"No, no it doesn't" Mark replied, he sounded genuine.

"I've got a boyfriend Mark"

"Shame"

Aaron rolled his eyes and bit his lip in annoyance. "You aren't coming between us"

"That will only happen if you let it"

Aaron sniggered. "See! I-I knew you weren't being nice there just for the sake of it! I won't let that happen! We might have to work together but don't talk to me, touch me or catch me off guard and kiss me, I wouldn't put it past you, let's just get this shift done then we can go our separate ways"

Mark didn't reply he pouted as he thought over Aaron's words, as he turned away a sly smirk came over him, he wanted Aaron. Oh! It would happen, at least he believed.

Lunchtime came quickly and Aaron literally threw his tools down to the ground and headed out of the shaft as quick as he possibly could. Mark followed behind at a normal pace.

Out in the hot sunlight Aaron was relieved, he needed the fresh air and to be in an open space away from Mark for a while, the atmosphere down there all morning had been tense. Aaron had no sandwiches with him but he didn't mind. He slumped down to the ground and sat with his eyes closed facing up at the warmth of the sun.

The light darkened for an instant as someone had passed him, he heard the gravelly footsteps and the crunching of the stones and dirt as whomever it was, he assumed Mark sat down beside him. Aaron opened his eyes and turned to see Mark; he wasn't really surprised. His short dark hair, his eyes, the stubble, the general presence of his body near his and even that smirk made Aaron think. He swallowed hard, had some unknown entity flipped a switch for him and made him feel things for whom before all this, was a close friend. Unknown to Aaron, Jackson was on his way over.

"I didn't like what you did last night, I mean it Mark"

"Your body said otherwise"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Involuntary, come on even though I didn't want it, obviously the bloody thing is going to react when there's a hand stroking it through my pants"

_**Hand. Pants. **_Aaron certainly wasn't being discreet.

"Oh come on you know you wanted it Aaron"

Aaron clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Alright, it felt good, but you shouldn't have done it"

"You should have moved"

"I did! A bit delayed yeah but I was drunk!"

**Felt good. **

"The delay says it all" Mark smirked as he bit into his sandwich. "Look" he began as he swallowed what he had eaten. "I like you, a lot. I can't help that, but like you said I'm a go getter, and I do get what I want Aaron" he told him quietly.

Aaron's anger was clear and he shot a look at Mark before getting in his face. "Yeah? Well not from me you won't! So pack it in! I don't want it"

"Stop fighting it Aaron" Mark smiled.

Aaron shook his head and looked around, his eyes widened instantly as he saw Jackson approaching. He then quickly got up and walked to him.

Jackson was preoccupied with his thoughts, with the words he'd heard from Aaron as he'd approached. He focussed on him and forced a smile.

"What you doing here? You never visit me at work, thought you were busy?"

"Didn't realise I couldn't" he spoke bluntly. "I changed my mind, I'll go tomorrow instead"

"Oh, right…so this is what? You checking up on me?"

"No, I wanted to see you after this morning, what is wrong with you? Got something to do with him over there, looked like you were arguing"

Aaron frowned and shook his head quickly. "It's work stuff"

"Is it top secret?" he asked as he watched Aaron carefully, he knew him so well it was obvious something was up and after hearing those words on his way over it made those suspicions worse.

"No and alright it's not work stuff but if you must know, we had a bit of a run in last night in the pub, that's all."

"Why?"

"J-Just stuff…Jackson" Aaron said as he breathed heavily.

"Hmm…something I need to be worried about?" Jackson's eyes were big, aware of every expression, every change in body language that Aaron made. Jackson wasn't stupid.

"Eh?" Aaron scowled. "In what way?"

Jackson smiled slightly. "What?" he chuckled.

Aaron swallowed hard. "O-Oh…I-I dunno I j-just…don't know what you meant, why would you get worried?" he scoffed, looking away slightly. "I mean, I can handle myself"

_Or someone can handle you by the sounds of it _Jackson thought to himself. "Yeah, I know you can but he looked pushy, what happened?"

"He's gay, he told me last night and he also told me he likes me then I told him where to go. End of."

Jackson frowned. "You like him back?"

"Eh? What? No. What do you take me for?"

Jackson began to snigger. "A big fat liar that's what" he told him as he got in his face. "You can handle yourself Aaron but from what little I heard when I was walking over here, he handled you"

"Woah! Hang on a minute…y-you don't know the full story"

"Felt good though didn't it?" Jackson asked with an angry expression before he turned around and walked away.

"JACKSON!" Aaron called after him but it didn't work. His shoulders slumped and he turned back and stopped in front of Mark who was still sat.

"Boyfriend I take it?"

Aaron sighed and turned back to see him walking further away. "Yeah, at least I-I think so…I don't know. Anyway got work to do, I'm going back in"

"Fair enough"

The afternoon went silently; normally they would chat and laugh but today, that well and truly was the last thing Aaron wanted to do, act as if everything was fine, it wasn't. They hadn't spoken to each other for hours after lunch until suddenly out of the blue Mark broke the silence.

"What did you mean when you said you weren't sure if he was your boyfriend?"

"Things have been weird and I haven't helped one bit, it's my fault" Aaron told him quietly as he chipped away angrily with his tool.

"It'll work itself out in time"

"Oh what's this?" Aaron laughed. "You're being nice? He heard certain words when he was walking over that I would never have dreamed him hearing, so yeah I'm-me and him are in trouble"

Suddenly out of nowhere a loud explosion ripped through the mine and the ground shook tremendously, Aaron and Mark were knocked off balance and fell. The heat coursed through the tunnels with speed, whatever had just happened was close because debris, the ceiling above them began to collapse.

Mark's eyes widened when he saw the direction of the falling rocks and wooden beams he lunged over Aaron's body but Aaron looked on his horror and lunged up and forced Mark out of the way before he moved to protect himself. Seconds later Aaron's screams filled the tunnel.

Aaron cried in pain as he lay on his back, his legs were trapped by a large thick wooden beam and several chunks of rocks, with the falling of the beam it allowed it all to fall in and trap them.

Mark sat stunned as he was lying awkwardly up against the wall. He breathed heavily; he could barely see Aaron through the smoke. "Wh-Why-Why did you do that?"

"Because there was no point in both of us being hurt…I-I thought I was clear" he cried.

Mark crawled across to him, keeping low avoiding the denser smoke and the heat above. He felt for him as he waded through the smoke, when his hands made contact with him he knew he was lying on his back, he looked down and couldn't see his legs. "C –can you feel anything?"

"No, what the hell happened?"

"I-I don't know…"

"Possibilities then?" Aaron asked in a frustrated tone.

"The safety lamps, a few or one of them maybe…faulty…it has happened before in other places"

"Well too bad for us…" Aaron let his eyes close and open again. "We're stuck aren't we?"

"Uh y-yeah" he frowned as the situation dawned on him. "Yeah we are"

"Oh just great" Aaron groaned.

"D-Don't get worked up…we've got a problem I know, b-but I'm going to try and get us out"

"I'm not going anywhere with you"

"Excuse me?" Mark asked with a deep frown on his face.

"You heard, you aren't touching me do you get that? You aren't getting to have me! My boyfriend thinks I'm having an affair now thanks to you"

"You were the one talking loudly out there not me"

"I was angry" he spat. "What did you expect? I wouldn't have been, if you hadn't have done anything in the first place"

"Just going round in circles now Aaron"

"Yeah well…you better hope we survive and I get to sort it out with him otherwise I'll kill ya"

Mark scoffed. "You don't mean that"

"You don't know me well enough to assume that" Aaron told him as he watched Mark moving around, to the point where the rubble began and his legs disappeared.

"I know you well enough to know you're fighting your feelings" he told him clearly and silence fell between them.

…

"Evening lads!" Hazel cheerfully greeted as she let herself in.

Jackson was sat drumming his fingers on the table in the kitchen.

Hazel stopped short, confused. "Where's Aaron?"

Jackson pouted and shrugged his shoulders while he stared at his drumming fingers.

"What now?"

"You don't want to know. But I will tell you he's nearly two hours late"

"Pub again?" Hazel asked as she sat down.

"Probably, he didn't say he was going but he'll be putting off coming home"

"And why would he do that?"

"Because me and him need to have a word that's why"

Hazel frowned. "Hang on this isn't about what you talked to me about yesterday is it?"

"No" Jackson replied as he looked her in the eye.

"What then?"

"He came home at one this morning, he was in a bad mood…which is a bit contradictory considering what I heard at lunchtime"

Hazel sighed impatiently. "And what did you hear?"

"Aaron and one of his mates talking, I went to see him at work he was outside on his lunch. They seemed to be arguing, I heard a few things…hand pants and felt good…"

"No he wouldn't…"

Jackson shrugged. "The lads gay which I found out after I heard Aaron saying those words…makes a bit of sense now…"

"Did Aaron tell you his side?"

"No, I didn't let him. I walked off, he called after me but I ignored him, I'm so mad at him right now…h-he could be but he couldn't be and not knowing is driving me crazy. But if he didn't want this or me then why has he stuck it out so long?"

"You can't think like that until you hear his side Jackson…"

Jackson nodded. "I know but I love him so much and if he's done anything with that lad then, I-I don't know where we go from here"

Hazel didn't reply but there was a knock on the door a few seconds later. "I'll get it" Jackson nodded and she got up and walked along to the door and opened it. She was greeted by a miner, the dirt and clothing told her instantly. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, we have on our employee records that Mr. Livesy lives here?" he asked as he checked over the paperwork.

"He does" Hazel nodded as Jackson walked up behind her.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm here to inform you that there's been an accident in the mine, an explosion actually…"

"Oh n-n-no no no…" Jackson breathed and Hazel turned and placed her hand on his arm to comfort him.

"We have five people unaccounted for and Mr Livesy is one of them, we believe he's been trapped with his co-worker in the section they mine…rest assured we are doing everything in our power to rescue them"

Jackson jumped into action and he grabbed his jacket. "He was meant to finish a few hours ago and we're only getting to know now!?" Jackson asked angrily.

The miner bowed his head. "I-I'm afraid so but we've had to assess the situation, count and recount our employees who made it out and brief emergency services and inform the other four families"

Jackson nodded quickly. "Alright erm…I'm coming down…"

"I'm sorry si-"

"I said I'm coming down! I'm not sitting here waiting to know if he's alive or dead"

The miner nodded. "As you wish"

"M-Mum c-can you wait here and…and I-"

"Jackson love…I'll be here…t-try not to panic" she said with a smile but the tears in her eyes said it all.

* * *

**TBC…**


	29. Nowhere To Hide

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Nowhere To Hide"**

* * *

Aaron's eyes had grown accustomed to the low lit chamber they were in and he stared up at the ceiling. He'd been there hours and he was beginning to feel tired and even he knew that wasn't a good sign, especially after previous experience. "You still with me?" Aaron asked quietly.

Mark was sat on the other side. He looked over at Aaron when he heard his voice. "Yeah…I was going to ask the same to you, l-listen I-I'm sorry that I couldn't move it…I'm sure they've got the fire brigade out there to help…we'll be out soon"

"It's not your fault"

"Hmm…still"

Aaron sighed and swiped his tongue along his teeth. "You were right"

"About what?"

"Wh-" Aaron sighed, he hated admitting this, it was a betrayal. "When you said I was fighting my feelings for you" he swallowed hard. "I' am. And last night when you said about the way I looked at you…Y-you were right there too…and I'm confused…You're attractive…b-but I do love Jackson"

"But he's just one man"

"So are you" Aaron countered.

"What I mean is…you can't help how you feel about someone"

"You're right I can't. But when I feel like I'm betraying him, the first man I've actually loved by the way, it hurts and it's wrong, I shouldn't feel like this towards anyone else"

….

Jackson ran onto the grounds and stopped in the same place he had earlier when he spoke with Aaron. A lot of people were around, workers refused to go home to their families they needed the assurance that their friends were safe and however long that took they would remain. They milled around in groups, in pairs or alone waiting. Tears filled his eyes and they fell instantly as Jackson began to cry and he fell to his knees and held his head in his hands. They couldn't let it end like that, if that was what was to be then it was damned cruel and Jackson was by no means religious but in those moments he looked up at the starry sky and cursed the apparent almighty, why let bad things happen to good people – _again! _Jackson got to his feet and walked over to a slight embankment and sat down, he could see over all of the people. He didn't see the point in going over all guns blazing, they wouldn't tell him anything, he knew for a fact they wouldn't.

…

Aaron turned his head slowly and looked over at Mark. "You're just a test. That's all you are"

"And I'm one test you're failing, tempting aren't I?"

Aaron scoffed. "Ah please!"

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with it, or me…I'm in fine form…we have a laugh…we like each other"

"Jackson is in amazing form and I have a laugh with him"

"Oh you do, do you? From what you said I sense things aren't as happy as they used to be"

"You're just finding things to use to benefit you now"

"And you're skirting around it so you don't have to answer"

Aaron let out a loud sigh. "No, not lately we don't laugh, n-not really" he frowned as a sadness hit him.

…

The entrance to the mine looked unscathed from the explosion from what Jackson could see at his distance, he couldn't so much see but he thought it was a group of the miners arguing with their boss and the fire and rescue personnel. One of them shouted and the words stuck out to him. "WE DON'T LEAVE OUR PEOPLE BEHIND! FIND THEM!" The loyalty and closeness, the bond that Jackson picked up from all the workers was amazing. They were all like a family of sorts, if one got lost or a few and they needed help then they would do anything to make sure they were helped and these guys certainly were, he wouldn't be surprised if the miners took it upon themselves to rescue them themselves if the firemen couldn't soon.

Jackson sighed. Aaron was young; he didn't deserve all these bad things happening to him…he cried again at the thought of Aaron already being dead. Even just the thought hurt like hell, an enormous pain in his chest was felt. What may or may not have happened during his visit to the pub was of no importance now, it would be sorted out once Aaron was safe and well, he would be. Jackson had to now think like that he couldn't afford doubt creeping into his mind and all the what ifs…Aaron was alive. He found comfort in that thought, it was better than the alternative.

….

Aaron hit out, slamming his fists into the uneven surface of the mine. "Why does this always happen to me!" he screamed angrily.

"W-what do you mean?"

"Nothing!" Aaron snapped as his breathing was harsh. If he couldn't talk about the events of Titanic to his mother how they hell would he be able to talk about it to him. A minute or so later Aaron had calmed down but he began to chuckle. "Why the hell do we do this job? We know the dangers yet we still come down here every day"

Mark smiled in the dimmed light; he understood where Aaron was coming from. "It's a necessity…the country, people need power…coal provides that…"

"Yeah well, if I manage to get out of this I'd happily go without having electricity"

Mark snorted. "You don't mean that"

"I do, I've done it before I can live like that again"

"You're just riled up"

"Damn right I'm riled up! I'm trapped under god knows how much debris, I can't feel my legs…and I've got a banging headache! And to top that I'm starting to feel claustrophobic" his realisation of the claustrophobia beginning reminded him being jammed up against bodies in the lower decks of Titanic as they waited for the gates to be opened. This situation was different though, he did have some room, but the air quality was awful and the light inside wasn't too great so that did not help one bit.

Unknown to Aaron, during his panicked rage, Mark had crawled over and he saw in after he finished speaking, his face looming over him. "You need to relax alright, I know this is horrible, and claustrophobia…well I don't suffer that but I can only begin to imagine…you need to take deep breaths and relax"

"You relax!" Aaron shouted.

Mark placed his hand on Aaron's chest.

"I said don't-"

Mark sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to help you…I'm not advancing on you…lift my hand slowly with your breathing, close your eyes and just breathe, you're not here, you're in an open space, a beach o-or something"

Despite his hand on his chest Aaron allowed his eyes to close and he began to slow his breathing and his body relax. Mark smiled when he did relax and he watched his hand slowly rising up and down with Aaron's chest. He nodded to himself and slowly lifted his hand up off Aaron's chest. "Good man" he told him quietly.

…

Adam stopped a few metres away from Jackson; he was already distraught over the news but seeing Jackson's pain made it worse. "He'll be alright you know" his voice cracked with the emotions within.

Jackson looked to Adam, surprised at him being there. He stood up and walked over. "What the…" he breathed as he wrapped his arms around him tightly. "It's two in the morning Adam…w-what…how did you…"

"Your mum, the farm has a phone" Adam replied. "I came here as quick as I could"

"I'm so pleased you're here"

Adam placed his arm around Jackson's shoulders and walked him back to the spot he was sat at and they both sat down. "They look busy"

"They better be, they erm, they brought three people out an hour or so ago…two were dead, i-it wasn't Aaron"

"Oh thank god, do they know what happened?"

Jackson shrugged. "I doubt it yet, just the obvious really, an explosion, caused the tunnel to collapse"

Adam nodded as he listened.

"The survivor from those three didn't seem too badly injured; I hope it's the case with Aaron too"

Adam smiled. "It will be…how are you and him now anyway?"

"I don't think now is the time…" Jackson replied while staring over at the mine entrance.

"Tell me…" Adam encouraged.

"Since he got this job we haven't been the same…he has mates now, all these men here…he drinks a lot, we've hardly seen each other in months, we've had sex a couple of times since he started here…that's not important but when it goes down to a couple in months from every night…yeah you see the problem…and I think he might be having an affair…"

"Woah! Stop…affair?"

Jackson nodded. "One of his mates is gay…last night he told Aaron he liked him, I came here today and overheard things"

"Like?"

Jackson went on to tell Adam the events of earlier that day. "Wow…okay…so you don't know if he is having an affair or not?"

"No, I'm not clear on any details right now…I will be but right now he has to be rescued, it's all I care about right now"

"Course it is"

…

Aaron coughed harshly as the air got to him. "Right!" he croaked. "I'm not lying like this any longer…" he told Mark as he pushed himself up into a sitting position and attempted to pull his legs out from under the debris. He growled as he pushed himself too far, they weren't moving.

"Aaron! Stop!"

"No!"

He pulled again but stopped when he heard more debris falling, small stones, some even just the size of bricks clinking as they hit the ground.

"Stop now! Unless you want this entire chamber to cave in and I'd rather that didn't happen! Be patient!"

"I can't!" Aaron raged. "If Jackson knows he's going to be up there worried sick wondering if I'm dead or alive and after what I've already put him through I can't keep hurting him anymore. I'm getting out of this chamber and walking right over to him"

Mark sighed, he was worried about the walking part, the fact that Aaron couldn't feel them; he couldn't determine where there was pain. If he couldn't walk out, he'd certainly be carried out. "You'll get out of this bloody chamber when rescue comes! Not a second before, you aren't going to endanger both our lives because you're impatient! I won't let you and I mean it, move once more and I'll sodding hold you down Aaron, don't push me!"

Aaron's chest rose up and down frantically as he glared at Mark, his breathing shuddered as he began to sob. He stopped and looked ahead.

Mark closed his eyes, there was nothing he could do and to hear Aaron crying made him feel like crap, for failure of removing any debris and for shouting at him.

Aaron couldn't stop it, the tears came and he sobbed his heart out.

"I-I know you're scared Aaron"

Aaron brought his sobbing to a halt. "What?"

"I know you're scared"

"Yeah cause I'm so confident in the fact that I'm going to get out of here" he cried.

"Sarcasm eh? Doesn't surprise me"

"Despite the sarcasm…yeah I'm scared" he told him quietly as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"…Me too" Mark replied ever so quietly.

* * *

**TBC…**


	30. Into The Light

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Into The Light"**

* * *

Suddenly somewhere out of nowhere the sun rise began and in no time cast light over the compound. Jackson frowned. "It's been too long…" he said sadly.

"Are you giving up?" Adam asked him quickly.

"N-No but its morning Adam he's been in there since yesterday afternoon"

"Aaron's a fighter Jackson; you know that just as well as I do"

Jackson nodded in silence.

"Listen, they haven't stopped searching, they're clearing a lot of debris from the shaft, and they _will _find him"

"You know the guy I told you about?"

"Yeah"

"They work together, h-he's probably with him right now and that's killing me Adam, he's there for him and I can't be"

"That's not your fault" Adam told him bluntly, while he understood all the possible thoughts running through Jackson's mind there was no time for any of that.

"Still…he's probably brain washing him" he chuckled at the stupidity of that comment and dropped his head in his hands. "He wants Aaron I know he does, he seems pushy…"

Adam placed his arm around him and pulled him close. "Aaron's not stupid"

"No, you're right he's not but if he has any feelings for him he'll know he'll just be hiding them"

"But what will you do if he wants you?"

Jackson shrugged. "Either way we need to talk, if he wants me we have to get back to normal, I'm hoping this surprise I've been sorting out actually sorts him out"

"What surprise?" Adam frowned in confusion.

"His mum Adam, she's on her way here or will be in a day or so"

"Oh" Adam's eyes widened. "He's missing her a lot"

Jackson nodded. "I wrote her a letter, bought a ticket and put some money in it for her, sent it express, cost loads but I don't care I just want to see Aaron happy you know, I miss his smile I don't expect a reply she hopefully will just get on the ship"

"She'll come" Adam told him with a smile.

"I really hope so"

…

Aaron's eyes opened slowly, and he didn't need his eyes to adjust to tell him he was still stuck. He sighed quietly and was suddenly aware of Mark sat beside him. He felt guilty for being quite nasty to him. "You okay?" Aaron asked quietly.

"You're awake" Mark smiled. "I'm okay, breathings difficult though"

Aaron nodded, he knew how that felt.

"I-I heard some footsteps a little while ago, moving around, shouting…didn't seem far away, I shouted back, they heard"

"They did? Y-You've been awake all night?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah, I told you not to fall asleep but you couldn't help it…I've been keeping an eye on you"

"Oh…thanks" the back and forth game of nice then pushy confused him so much. Aaron liked him when he was nice.

"You're welcome and they did hear me yeah, said it might be a while before they get to us, I told them your legs were trapped, t-that seems to be an issue"

"Why?"

"Oh they just have to be more careful when they reach us that's all, and when they do it'll be slow so that the pressure isn't removed in one go, if that happens too quick you could go into shock"

"Ah, one last hurdle then" he chuckled.

"Aaron it's not funny" Mark's tone was gravely serious.

"I didn't say it was" Aaron told him quietly as he sat up. He turned and looked at Mark who was only inches away. "I'm sorry for trying to get free, I was just going mad"

"It's alright"

"No it's not I could have killed us If I carried on"

"But you stopped, that's the main thing" he told him as he looked over at the debris trapping his legs then looked back at him but stopped when something caught his eye. He frowned. "W-why didn't you tell me you were bleeding? I didn't notice that"

"What? Bleeding?"

"Yeah, your side…"

"Forget it I'm still here aren't I?"

"No Aaron I won't forget it, it looks serious" Mark said as he moved his hand and pulled up his top to have a look. Aaron's eyes slowly followed him and when his hand touched his skin he hissed in pain, the area around the wound was sensitive. "M-must have caught me when it all fell, I didn't know until you just mentioned it"

Mark looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. "God Aaron…I-I wish I could do something"

Aaron shook his head while staring into his eyes. "But you can't"

Mark's eyes searched Aaron's and he made the slow move, his head moving closer to Aaron's.

Aaron's breath caught in his throat. "Don't do this, not now…" he whispered. Jackson was the only man he shared moments like that with.

"I- I can't help it Aaron…"

"Mark we can't do th-" he was stopped when Mark's lips kissed his own, a sensation that was amazing but different to him and Jackson, this wasn't right but yet it was. Aaron pulled back but the damage had been done, that kiss certainly could have been avoided, it wasn't and Aaron knew the answer to why it wasn't; his feelings, he did want Mark but he wanted Jackson also. But he knew he couldn't have both, he bit his lower lip and looked down, away from Mark.

"It's okay…" Mark told him softly.

"No it's not, you're messing me around, getting in my head" Aaron told him quietly.

"Yeah alright…I…" Mark sighed. "I admit I've been pushy, manipulative with stuff I've said but god Aaron…I want you so much"

Aaron shook his head in the silence then spoke seconds later. "You can't have me"

"Jackson" he said with a sigh.

Aaron snapped and glared at him. "Yes Jackson! Of course Jackson, and you know it!"

"Tell me something Aaron; you do like the attention I've given you though don't you? You enjoy the thrill of what you're doing, and you're well aware of what you're doing aren't you?"

Aaron looked up at him "I-" he stopped short and sighed. "I do know what I'm doing, and my feelings for you are definitely there but I know it's all wrong and when we get out of this, nothing will happen with us at all, I'm telling you Mark, it's not happening"

Mark didn't have a sarcastic remark or a smirk but he knew that they would get together after this incident, it was bound to happen and he would wait. Aaron was simply convincing himself otherwise.

….

From the sounds on the other side of the debris barrier between their chamber and the rest of the world it seemed like it was happening - a rescue! Aaron was apprehensive though, and simply laid waiting with baited breath.

"Listen, alright if you black out I'll make sure Jackson is told you're out"

Aaron nodded. "Cheers"

As the firemen worked on the other side, smaller pieces of debris fell around them, clinking as they hit the ground. Aaron watched and swore he could see light and debris moving on their end now from the actions on the other side. He took a deep breath and a few seconds later a hole appeared and a light shone through. "We're almost through lads just hang in there a few more minutes…"

"Yeah" Aaron replied nervously. "And hope it doesn't come crashing in eh?"

"Oh it won't son, not on my shift" The man's tone of voice was a caring one, he obviously needed it for the field of work he was in and Aaron guessed he was an older fireman, possibly a father, a grandfather, just the thought of that gave him comfort, Aaron smiled as he lay staring up at the ceiling. "Good to know" his voice cracked as he began to cry silently, the tears ran down the sides of his face. However comforted by the arrival of help he was scared to death.

"Alright mate…we're going to go for this, once this is clear I need you to move as fast as you can, we'll take care of the lad here"

Mark nodded. "Y-Yeah alright"

Seconds later the debris began to fall and the rest of the mine shaft up ahead was in view, Mark stood up and moved quickly, waiting in safety for Aaron. Two firemen crossed over the remaining debris and quickly picked up and threw away pieces of the debris from his legs. Both men winced and looked at each other, there was blood and plenty of it.

"I feel sick" Aaron grimaced.

"It's the release of the pressure, there's a bit of trauma to your legs mate but you're going to be fine alright…we're almost there…"

Aaron nodded and waited.

The two men lifted and removed the support beam and lowered it carefully but that action certainly caused a reaction, further back into the chamber the ceiling began to fail and debris started to fall. "Grab him and pull!" the older man shouted who Aaron was talking too minutes ago.

The two rescuers grabbed Aaron hard and pulled him out from under the few remaining chunks of debris.

Aaron felt drowsy and he was propped up in between the two men. He couldn't feel his legs; it was like he was floating. "I-I don't feel so…" his words trailed off as his head dropped and he blacked out.

"Get him out of here now!"

Aaron was lifted into one of their arms and he simply ran taking him out into the open air.

Once Aaron and Mark were seen emerging an eruption of cheers filled the area, they were the last to be saved, and yes while two workers were killed it was saddening but three out of the five were alive.

Jackson looked up and instantly got to his feet and sprinted over then through the gathering crowd around the ambulance that was waiting, Mark was standing in view of Jackson but he wasn't necessarily looking all he could think about was Aaron.

* * *

**TBC…**


	31. This Is How You Remind Me

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"This Is How You Remind Me Of What I Really Am"**

* * *

**SEVEN DAYS LATER**

Visiting time was approaching quickly, Aaron sighed as he rested his head back against the pillow and stared up at the clock above the door to his room. He dreaded visiting hours, he and Jackson were talking but it was awkward, both of them skirted around the issue that needed to be discussed, Aaron was skirting around the issue in fear of saying something Jackson wouldn't want to hear. He found himself missing Mark and since he woke up in the hospital that longing increased.

He was recovering well, he had stitches in his side to seal the wound that he'd received in the accident and his legs were bruised, cut but importantly working, well barely he'd been out of his room a few times to attend a physiotherapy session with the doctor to help him get the use of his legs back. He failed each time, as he got out of the wheelchair and stood properly his legs couldn't support him and he fell, over the last week and a session a day that had occurred every time until three days ago when he finally managed to stay standing and take a few steps. The doctor was pleased with his progress and simply kept reminding Aaron that it could have been much worse. Aaron knew that and was happy to be getting better, the doctor issued him with crutches, he'd used them and walked around his room unaided, he was impressed with himself.

Aaron leaned over and lifted his gown and looked at the stitches in his side. He pulled a face as he examined it, it was a nasty four inch vertical cut that was sure to scar. As he was preoccupied with examining his cut the door opened and Jackson walked in. Aaron looked up as he covered his cut and watched as Jackson sat in the chair by the bed. There was silence for a few seconds before either of them actually spoke. "That giving you any problems?" Jackson wondered.

"No" Aaron told him as he shook his head.

"Good" Jackson smiled. "How you feeling today?"

"I'm fine, ready to go"

"I know, I saw the doctor on the way in, he'll be round soon"

Aaron nodded.

"Mum sends her love" Jackson told him with an awkward smile.

Aaron smiled and acknowledged his words by a nod.

"Oh and Adam too, he said he'd come round the house tomorrow"

Aaron smiled. "I can't wait to see him"

It was time now, they'd dipped and dived around the impending conversation, it was happening whether Aaron liked it or not. "As opposed to me"

Aaron frowned. "Don't start"

"We need to talk"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I suppose we do"

"Do you even want to come back to the house?"

"What sort of question is that?"

"Well you know, I'm just curious because I don't know where I stand with you right now, you have a man that apparently likes you more than a lot…you were trapped together for well over twenty four hours, you refuse to talk about it…so something tells me that there's something going on between you two"

Aaron pouted and shook his head. "I've told him nothing is going to happen"

Jackson frowned. "See, but it already did though didn't it?"

Aaron swallowed hard. "You overheard certain things you know the answer"

"But I want to know your side Aaron"

"I was drunk" he began with a sigh. "He was walking me so far but he moved me into a dark alley down the side of the pub, he got close, I couldn't see a thing but I felt him kiss me, I pushed him away and walked off, he followed me…grabbed me by the arm and got way close again…" Aaron sighed heavily and swallowed hard. "He touched me, he put his hand on me and starting squeezing and rubbing"

Jackson bit his lip as his anger spiked, he looked away from Aaron for a second.

"I told him nothing is going to happen"

Jackson nodded. "Did you like it?"

"Jackson I was dr-"

"Answer the question!"

"No!" Aaron told him loudly with a scowl.

Jackson scoffed. "Tell me something, how many men have you had? Been with? Whatever you wanna call it"

"Just you"

"Right so, isn't it safe to assume that you wanna go play the field, experience other men? Enjoy the attention given to you by them, by _him"_

"Nope" Aaron replied quickly and while his words were true Aaron knew the other answer, to him both answers were honest. "A-Alright listen, I did like the attention but I didn't want it, it just happened, he's attracted to me, yes he wants me but that's not going to happen Jackson"

Jackson nodded. "Right this is the plan; once you're out of here we're going home, to start again"

Aaron nodded.

"But before that just answer me one question…" Jackson stared into Aaron's eyes before he delivered it. "Do you have feelings for him?"

Aaron was careful not to react in anyway. He ran his tongue along his bottom lip. "I thought I did…down there when we were trapped, he was kind, genuinely concerned for me…so yes I thought I did but I don't Jackson, I really don't. You're the one that I have feelings for"

"Not him?"

Aaron shook his head. "No" he said as he reached out and took Jackson's hand in his and squeezed gently. "And things will be different when I get home"

Jackson smiled and lifted Aaron's hand and kissed it softly.

…

Once they arrived home Aaron was the last to walk into the house and as he turned to close the door, further up the street he saw Mark watching. Aaron shook his head, a message he hoped he'd received before shutting out the world. He turned to Jackson unaware that someone else was in the house. "I'm going to lie down on the couch"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "Ok, I'll be in soon"

Aaron walked away and into the living room, he dropped his crutches down again in a huff. "I will get rid of you permanently!" he glared angrily at them then lowered himself onto the sofa, his legs were shaky but he managed without falling, he propped up the cushions behind his head and simply rested.

Jackson nodded and grinned as he walked into the kitchen and it set her off grinning madly and she walked along the hallway, her heels making as much noise as they possibly could as she walked.

Aaron opened his eyes frowning, Hazel didn't wear high heels, unless she did now, he didn't even know anyone else was in. When she walked into the room and stood with her hands on her hips, Aaron's eyes widened and he jumped up. "Mum? Oh my god! What the!"

Chas giggled and walked to him to stop him from getting up. "Hello love" she said as she wrapped her arms around him with a squeeze. "Been getting into a scrape again I see"

"As always…" he told her with a smile, his eyes, his smile and his body language seemed brighter, more positive since he saw her. Jackson stood watching on with a smile, that's what he wanted out of all of the running around organising her trip.

"Well you need to be more careful" she told him as they pulled away.

"Yep" he replied as he grinned happily.

"How you doing? You ok?"

"I'm fine love" she reached out and ran her hand over his head. "Been worried sick about you though, the titanic and then arriving a few days ago to find out you're in hospital, I've been staying here out of the way so I could surprise you, Jackson's kept me company and filled me in on the goings on"

Aaron looked up at Jackson with a hint of a frown and then looked back at his mum. "How long are you here for?"

"Um, I don't know yet"

"But I've told her however long she wants to stay is fine" Jackson told him.

"I'm so glad you're here" Aaron hugged her again.

"I'll leave you both to it" Jackson told them before walking out.

Chas pulled away. "I really am pleased you're okay but" she slapped his arm hard. "This other man? Hmm?"

Aaron pulled a face and rubbed his stinging arm. "He told you that!"

"He's told me everything"

"Well he had no right!"

"He had every right Aaron! He loves you, and I like him, you know what I'm like with people, so it says a lot that I've decided on him already, don't you dare mess this up for yourself, he's a good man"

"And what if Mark is?" Aaron countered.

"Don't!" she spoke through gritted teeth.

Aaron sighed then smirked. "Just like old times eh?"

"Oh yes and don't forget that I'm here sunshine…don't forget it, I'm watching you. I know what you're really like, Jackson doesn't know the half of it, and you can be a hell of a good liar when you want and need to be, you might be able to fool him but you can't fool me"

"And you wondered why I wanted to get away!" he spat nastily.

Chas slapped him hard knocking his head to the side. "But seeing what you have I'm glad you did, don't fuck it up!" she warned.

"I'm not that guy anymore mum, let's face it you haven't exactly been around much and back when I was at home you were never in, what did they call you? Oh yeah village bike"

Chas had to restrain herself from hitting him again. "And what did they call you Aaron? They called you gay; you were hiding it, that one man kept on at you. What did you do? Hmm? What did you do?"

"Shut up! Now" he told her quickly.

"OR WHAT?" it seemed when mother and son were alone together, a dark past surfaced and fireworks were certainly set off. "A leopard can't change its spots Aaron, I won't be fooled by you, I'm trying to save you from yourself because I know you more than you know yourself, you fight those feelings you have and you bin them. Jackson's good for you. I won't stand by and let that man in there get hurt, you can't miss what you never had so forget Mark, you have Jackson, and you would however miss him"

"Get out" Aaron said as he glared at her.

Chas nodded and got up. She smiled at him. "You rest love; I'll see you at dinner" she told him and walked out.

Jackson approached her when she walked into the kitchen. "Everything alright?"

Chas' smile was wide and she nodded. "Yeah great, he's just going to rest till dinner I think"

"Good" Jackson smiled. "And speaking of dinner, I best get started"

"I'll give you a hand"

"No you're a guest"

"I insist Jackson, Aaron might wander round here without contributing but I won't"

Jackson frowned and he chuckled. "How did you know?"

"Oh yeah I forgot to say, I met your mother when you were at the hospital yesterday, seems alright…looked down her nose at me a bit but yeah she told me she hasn't seen Aaron tidy up or cook, or…well anything really"

"Yeah well I don't mind" Jackson told her.

"Well you should, you're his boyfriend not his flipping butler"

"He's had a rough time"

"And you haven't? I'm sorry Jackson but he needs to realise this planet doesn't revolve all around him, he's selfish…saying that though…he's always been the same…d-does he talk much to you?"

"What about?"

"Life back in Emmerdale, or in general"

"He's said bits just about certain odd jobs at the garage in particular" he chuckled. "Dodgy stuff he said"

Chas smirked with a nod.

"But talking in general? No…I quickly learned that my stunningly gorgeous boyfriend is a man of very few words"

"He is that. Listen don't you worry about this other bloke right? I'm here now and while I don't think he wants him in anyway" she knew that was a lie but she could deal with it. "I can keep an eye…don't you worry"

Jackson smiled. "Thanks Chas…I appreciate it"

"You're welcome, so where do I start?"

"Potatoes are in the basket over there" he told her and off she went. Jackson liked her, she wasn't bothered what people said or thought, and she had a mind of her own and was ready to speak up.

…

Aaron couldn't rest, he got up with a sigh and looked out of the window and saw Mark hanging around still. Aaron frowned considering what he was about to do. He headed to the living room door and peaked out along the corridor, the kitchen door was half closed and he made his move, he quietly walked to the door and opened it carefully. After stepping out he walked along the path and out onto the main street, the front of their garden was lined with bushes, he stood in front of one out of sight, at least he hoped. He watched as Mark ran over, seconds later he stopped in front of him.

"I was going to wait to see if you actually would…"

"I-I can't keep away" Aaron admitted with a frown, a mixture of feelings fought within him.

Mark nodded. "So crutches then eh? I wanted to come and see you but considering"

Aaron nodded. "I know…and yeah crutches, bane of my life lately" he chuckled.

"Had them before I take it?"

"Yeah several months back, broken ankle"

"Ahh right…you should be back on your feet properly soon though" Mark smiled.

"Can't wait"

"Will you be coming back to work?"

"Uh I've been thinking a lot about that"

Mark sighed, disappointed. "You're not are you?"

Aaron shook his head. "I'm not going through that again"

"I understand"

"B-…But…"

"Just say it Aaron" Mark told him softly.

Aaron sighed and relaxed then looked at him. "But it doesn't mean I don't want to still see you"

Mark smiled. "I never thought I'd hear you say that"

"Well you just did…and listen…m-my mums here…long story but she's a proper tyrant…she knows about everything and has warned me…pretty much…so if we meet up then…" Aaron let out a deep breath.

"Yeah I get it, on the sly, in secret etc"

Aaron nodded. "Something like that yeah"

In the house Chas walked out of the kitchen for a minute and left Jackson too it, she'd heard movement a few minutes ago but didn't want to do anything for Jackson to start asking questions so she waited. She walked into the living room and Aaron wasn't there. She frowned and walked to the far side of the window and looked out, she saw someone by the bushes, just their side and it wasn't Aaron. Her frown was deep. "I think he's gone to get some fresh air, I'm just going to make sure he's okay"

"Yeah, yeah, no worries" Jackson called back to her as she walked to the door.

Once she opened it she walked along the path making her presence known by her heels.

Aaron's eyes widened and he began to panic. "Oh shit"

"That her?" Mark whispered.

"Yes, go…" he rushed him and off he went.

"Yeah you better go, and don't come back!" she spat angrily at him as she stood on the main street looking at them both. She looked disgusted at Aaron. "You make me sick"

"You've done worse!"

"I've never cheated!"

"You've never been in a relationship to cheat, unless a long line of regulars counts"

"Watch your mouth or I'll swipe you from those crutches and you'll be on your arse, get back in there now"

Aaron did as he was told and as he walked up to the house he spoke again. "You can't stop me feeling the way I do about him"

"People will get hurt Aaron and you know it'll happen"

He shook his head.

"So when Jackson pushes and pushes you for answers…what then?"

"I told you…I've changed"

"And I _told _you, a leopard can't change its spots…" she told him as she followed him in the house. "…Extreme violent episodes don't disappear…" she added quietly.

* * *

**TBC…**


	32. There Is A Tide In The Affairs Of Men

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"There Is A Tide In The Affairs Of Men"**

* * *

Over time Aaron's legs could hold their own and there was no need for crutches which delighted Aaron. The last few weeks had calmed down; Chas wasn't watching Aaron as much now. The lads were sleeping together again, slowly getting on track once again, so she saw no reason to. However for Aaron Mark was still on his mind, he wanted him, and slowly during his recovery he realised he was involved with two men, it happened in straight relationships, just like it was in his and he couldn't control it and he didn't try, why try and avoid thinking or doing something that he wanted to do? When he first met Jackson Aaron envisioned a happy, uncomplicated life with him, he still wanted that and the excitement that Jackson gave him but he wanted to discover what excitement and new things Mark could give too. Aaron was fully aware of what he was doing and he knew by doing so he was sacrificing the happy life that he did indeed want.

Aaron paced around the living room, pinching his bottom lip in between his fingers as he processed the thoughts going through his mind. He was alone in the house. Jackson was at work and Chas had gone shopping. He was at a loose end, he wanted to find Mark, he grabbed his jacket and walked to the door and left the house, locking it first before leaving, he started walking off to Mark's house, he'd try there first.

A few seconds after knocking on the door Mark opened it and smiled. "Haven't seen you in a while"

"Yeah well you know…things at home and all that; I can go if you want?"

"N-No…no…"

"You alone?"

Mark frowned and scoffed. "Yeah, I live alone…"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "But someone could be round…"

"No you're fine…come in" Mark said with a smirk as he stepped back to allow Aaron in. Mark closed the door and turned to face Aaron. "Manage to escape then?"

"Mum's out, Jackson's at work" Aaron sighed. "I wanted to see you"

Mark nodded. "Go through, it's not as fancy as your house, but make yourself at home, I'll get us a drink"

"It doesn't matter; I'm used to this…" Aaron replied as he looked around the small living room. Simple basic items made the room a little less sparse than it would be without them. The furnishings were old and the wallpaper discoloured and damaged. He removed his jacket and sat down on the two seated sofa and waited until Mark walked through a few minutes later with their drinks, he placed them down and sat next to Aaron.

"Listen Aaron while you've been recovering I've had time to think"

"Me too"

"And I realise how calculated I was, I guess that was wrong of me but I couldn't help it I see you and I want you" he shrugged. "It was just that simple for me"

Aaron nodded, he understood his words. "And when you kissed me down in the mine…"

"You didn't move away"

Aaron agreed. "Because I didn't want too despite what I said at the time and I know that this can't possibly happen and by being here I'm contradicting that and I'm betraying Jackson in the worst way possible way but…" he let out a deep breath. "There are two men in my life that I want and I'm fully aware of what I'm doing"

"So…" Mark frowned. "What you saying?"

"I'm saying that I want you, Mark…y-y-you intrigue me…I'm not doing this because of how you went about things before now, you haven't made me do this, I'm doing it because I want too…and…" a smile crept on his lips. "You're more than just fine" Aaron blushed.

Mark remembered that comment Aaron made back to him in the pub flippantly before warning him they could just be friends. "You turn me on so much you have no idea, you're very sexy…you know with your moody look going on and the attitude…" Mark told him with a smirk.

Aaron laughed "Shut up" he blushed as he whacked him on the arm playfully but as Aaron pulled his arm back Mark gently took hold of his hand, upon the touch it was like a surge of electricity zipped through his body, he quickly faced him, no words were spoken.

They looked into each other's eyes, deeply. Aaron's heart was pounding and by some hidden signal both men lunged for each other, their lips clashed as they began to remove each other's clothes. Aaron felt Mark tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt, he pulled away to allow it to come over his head, while separated Aaron took the opportunity to remove Mark's and when his upper body was bare, Aaron stared at the subtle defined lines, the hair on his chest that was just the right amount, and then the trail of hair down his middle to his belly button then continuing in a line to the as yet unseen area. Aaron's hands explored it, his skin was soft, but his muscles beneath, firm.

"Aaron…kissing is one thing…but if we do this…"

Aaron nodded. "I know, well and truly crossed the line…but to me…I already had weeks ago when I started feeling things for you"

Mark remained silent and moved closer as did Aaron and they kissed again, passionately. Aaron placed his hand around his neck to pull him close. Their tongues swiped and fought quickly as they tasted each other. As they kissed Mark tugged at the buttons on Aaron's pants and he loosened them.

Breathless, Aaron lay down on the sofa lifting his backside to pull down his pants in the process. Mark pulled at them until they were completely off. He placed his hand on Aaron's underwear and repeated the same squeezing and rubbing movements from that night after the pub. As he felt Aaron he lay over him and continued their kissing. It didn't take long for Aaron to become hard; lost in the moment Mark slipped his hand underneath his underwear and held Aaron's fully erect penis in his hand and began to jerk it. Moans came from Aaron, the pleasure was amazing. After a little bit of time things moved on and escalated to a completely different level, Aaron was taking Mark inside him. Mark was fucking Aaron deep, fast and hard, during the sensual, passionate love making…Aaron was his. Mark didn't consider Jackson; neither did Aaron - not yet anyway.

Aaron was standing in the middle of the living room putting his clothes back on as Mark watched as he lay on the sofa, exhausted from their love making. "You can keep them off"

Aaron smirked. "I wish, but I better get back before anyone realises I'm gone"

"Aaron, you're not a prisoner"

"Yeah I know but people can't know, this is the only way"

"Hmm, you're right"

Aaron was dressed and he leaned down and kissed him passionately. "Tomorrow?"

"You bet" Mark grinned. Aaron smiled as he walked away. "Hey Aaron"

Aaron stopped in the doorway and looked back towards him.

"T-that was amazing…it was more you know" Mark told him with a thoughtful look in his eyes, something Aaron had never seen from him before and frankly it surprised him a hell of a lot.

"Are you being deep?" he teased.

Mark laughed. "Suppose I' am…yeah"

Aaron smiled and gave a small nod before walking away and out of the house.

As the bitter cold air and the harsh light of day were all around him, he was hit hard by severe waves of guilt. At one point on his way back home he had to run off down a side street and vomit, it was quick but it didn't expel the guilt – of course it didn't, he had to suffer after what he'd done! He wiped his mouth and cleared his watery eyes and made his way back onto the main street and carry on to home. It seemed that when he was with Mark it all made sense and nothing mattered but when he was alone or with Jackson, it didn't make sense and everything mattered.

As the thought of sitting in the house with him and his mum pretending surfaced…well it made him angry, not them though, he made himself angry by what he'd just done, a hole that seemed to dig itself just that little deeper every day.

He hated himself, he was cruel, the nastiest piece of work going and selfish, completely damned selfish! He knew he was and he'd ruined any chance of having a life with Jackson because he knew he wouldn't be able to sit and play happy families forever or for however long it all lasted with Mark and then to continue having sex with Jackson in their bed after only a matter of hours after he'd been fucked by another man.

The guilt would be his own undoing, but after all of it, after everything he'd done in his life so far, maybe he deserved to be back at the very bottom. "I should have died on that fucking ship!" he growled angrily then punched a wall and hissed in pain as the skin split immediately as he heard a crack. He shook his hand for a second but carried on, if it was broken…well it was broken…just like the rest of him.

Aaron walked quickly as the anger forced him on and the dark thoughts ravaged his mind, a thought came back that he had told Jackson a while back, he scoffed, there were better people on board that ship that died who should be alive rather than himself, they deserved life, and in his anger he believed he didn't. No, in fact he _knew _he didn't…

He felt the blood running down his fingers; he pulled his nose up at it, he really did not care. How he was going to survive the night ahead without letting his mouth run away with it self and in doing so revealing the explicit events of his afternoon was beyond him. It would take all of his strength not too. It was sheer guilt and the possibility to salvage whatever, if anything of what he and Jackson had versus a forbidden lover that he wanted to keep secret - which was it? He was not making that decision, he couldn't…he wanted both…but at the expense of the way it made him feel?

Arriving at the house, he didn't see it as his own anymore, he didn't deserve it! It was Jackson's home. He forced his key into the hole and unlocked the door and forced it open to the extreme that it hit off the wall and slammed shut behind him. Once inside a tirade of tears fell from his eyes as he flung himself onto the stairs and a hearty painful cry left him as he shook uncontrollably and his shoulders jerked up and down with each heaving cry.

Aaron didn't know how long he'd been sat on the stairs, staring into space in the silence, he felt no anger now just a numbness that encompassed his mind and all of his body. Tear trails were still evident on his cheeks as they peaked from time to time and fell from his eyes as he was sat lost in his own world.

He remembered the conversation he and his mum had after she surprised him. Aaron knew what he had done, he'd never forgotten and he really didn't need reminding, but his mum was right he could deceive if and when he needed too he'd done that brilliantly in the past. It was only his mum who saw through it one day and found out his darkest secret. Something he was sure, she wished she had never come to know.

It made him wonder if it caused her to hate him, to feel sick at the sight of him, to feel guilty knowing she gave birth to a monster…they say a mother's love is unconditional but what if some things a child does in later life goes beyond a mothers capability of giving that love? What if she simply couldn't anymore? He wouldn't blame her.

Aaron left for America because it wasn't the same any longer when they were around each other, not that there relationship had ever been perfect but it was okay; okay enough to withstand many things, but maybe what he did couldn't withstand that. And with that thought he left, he left her and Emmerdale behind, but he missed her as soon as he was away. Then as he began to get involved with Jackson he began to forget why he left and concocted 'the better life' excuse, well why not? That's what everyone was leaving for.

Then suddenly things started to go wrong again, the sinking scarred him on top of his scars that were already present but hidden away by choice, then his relationship with Jackson became strained afterward, his new found friends created a massive chasm between his boyfriend which widened as their distance between one another increased, physically and emotionally. Mark came into the equation, an instant attraction, and then feelings, the explosion in the mine scarred him again and now this. Now sex with him, this day was quickly becoming the second worst day of his life.

Aaron was rocking back and forth, drained from his thoughts, his memories and his feelings. He dropped his head in his hands and dug his palms into his eyes in anger. He gasped and forced them away angrily and began to see white dots in his vision caused by the pressure from his hands. Aaron stood up and ran upstairs to his and Jackson's bedroom and at speed he removed his clothes, they were dirty and so was he.

Now naked, he stormed into the bathroom slamming the door behind him and he put the plug in the base of the bath and turned the hot water tap on. He sat on the cold edge of the bath and waited for it to fill. When it was filled to his liking he turned the tap off and stepped in, it was red hot just how he liked it and he lowered himself down, he didn't hear the front door closing, he was still void of any sense of reality.

Staring over at the taps he let his eyes close and he pushed himself slowly under the water. Once settled he opened his eyes in the water and looked up, he could see the shimmering of the lights on the surface of the water, he could hear the drop of water falling into the bath from the tap, other than that there was silence. He closed his eyes again and stayed under. More dark thoughts came to him; he thought that him being underwater should have happened all those months ago only then though he wouldn't have had the ability to rise up out of it. Aaron expelled his breath as he came out from under the water.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Jackson asking after him. Aaron closed his eyes and sighed. The guilt was constant but when things like hearing his voice happened, it spiked. "Yeah?" Aaron replied.

Jackson opened the door and popped his head in seeing Aaron in the bath. The way the bath was Aaron was laying facing away from him. "You alright?"

"Not really"

Jackson then walked in and propped himself onto the edge of the bath and looked down at him, he looked pale. "Why?"

"Just don't feel so good, thought a bath might you know…help" he said with a quick raise of his eyebrows.

Jackson smiled sympathetically at him. "It might…when did this come on?"

"A few hours ago I think"

"You want me to call the doctor?"

Aaron shook his head. "No don't be daft, it's probably just a virus or something, I'll be fine"

"Alright, well then can I stay with you?"

Aaron nodded.

"Aww you really aren't well are you?" Jackson spoke like one would to a baby as he placed his hand on his cheek.

Aaron's usual expressions were none existent as he shook his head. No, no he wasn't well. Wasn't well in the head!

"Come on sit up, I'll wash your back for you"

Aaron as if on auto pilot just did as Jackson said and lifted himself up so he was sitting. He stared blankly as the world around him carried on without him, at least until he snapped out of it when the sensation of Jackson's hand on his shoulder was felt, then another sensation, soap. Soap that was guided by his other hand; after Jackson had made circular movements with the soap to lather it up all over his back he put the bar down and with both hands he began to gently massage Aaron's back.

Aaron closed his eyes and tears fell silently, Jackson was being so gentle, considerate and loving. Aaron's guilt was hidden for now because Jackson simply couldn't see. Aaron's face was scrunched up as the tears fell. _Why did I do it? _

Almost instantly stopped himself and scooped up some water in his hands and rinsed his face, to which then Jackson caught sight of the cut and bruise over two of his knuckles. He frowned. "Aaron? What did you do?"

"Hmm?"

"Your hand"

"O-Oh I erm…" Aaron frowned, thinking fast. "I erm I tripped when I took the rubbish out, hit the pavement, hand took the brunt of it"

"Ah, what you like eh?" Jackson said with a smile. "I'll get a bandage when you get out, keep it covered"

Aaron simply nodded.

…

As Jackson and Chas settled for the night in the living room with a drink, Aaron was far from settled; he sat on the sofa next to Jackson with his drink in bandage wrapped hand. He hadn't uttered a single word really after he'd gotten out of the bath but Jackson didn't seem to be worried, probably because he told him he wasn't feeling well. Aaron listened to their chatter, Chas was astounded by the shops around, it didn't surprise Aaron she loved shopping. They talked about the rest of their days.

"And when I got in, I found this one" Jackson began and looked at Aaron with a smile. "Having a bath"

"Yeah" Chas frowned; she instantly assumed something wasn't right. "Don't look well at all"

Aaron looked at her and nodded. Then as Jackson shuffled closer, Aaron's eyes darted around as he began to panic, then as Jackson moved his arm and placed it around him Aaron flinched ever so slightly. Jackson didn't see because he was placing his drink down as he did so, but Chas did however see and her eyes narrowed as she began to come to conclusions. "Well whatever's wrong with you; it's come on quick hasn't it? I mean you were fine yesterday"

"Yeah well" Aaron glared at her; he knew what she was doing. "I can't control when I get ill, mum"

"No" she flashed a smile. "Of course not"

"Just ride it out, be gone in a day or two" Jackson smiled as he made circular movements on his back with his fingers.

At the end of the evening Aaron and Jackson stood in their bedroom. Aaron stood at the end of the bed staring at it while Jackson got undressed, he didn't want to get in it.

Once Jackson was undressed he pulled back the covers. "You going to undress or what?" he asked with a smirk.

Aaron jumped back to reality. "O-Oh yeah…" he smiled slightly and began to remove his pants and then his t-shirt, leaving him in his boxers and he walked to his side of the bed.

Jackson watched him as he lay propped up on his side. "And they can come off" he told him with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"No boxers, not tonight…" Jackson spoke softly.

Aaron's stomach was in throat, he dreaded this and now it was happening. "Oh yeah…course" he breathed calmly and reached down and pulled the boxers down off his legs leaving him standing naked.

Jackson grinned, he loved Aaron's body and he patted the mattress next to him beckoning Aaron to join him. Aaron forced a smile as he climbed into bed. "I don't want you getting ill too" he said half-heartedly.

Jackson pulled up his nose at Aaron's words. "I don't care; I just want you right now that's all that matters" he told him and he sat up and pulled Aaron down so he could kiss him.

Aaron kissed back because he did love Jackson, and loved their intimate moments but he wasn't fully giving himself to Jackson. Jackson did feel some resistance but he put it down to Aaron feeling unwell, no one was at their best all the time and he certainly didn't mind doing all the work. He lay Aaron down and Jackson's love making to him began, because that's what it was, one sided. Jackson's head was resting at the side of his own, buried in his shoulder and Aaron's arm was wrapped around his neck loosely. Jackson's warm panting breath against his skin as he grinded deeper inside him made him hate himself once again. As Jackson reached his climax, Aaron felt his load filling him and he closed his eyes tightly, he was disgusted at himself.

He watched as Jackson rolled off him, he smiled at Jackson and Jackson moved in to kiss him. "I love you Aaron"

The sensation of burning was felt in his eyes at Jackson's words, he wanted to cry, but he stopped it. "I love you too" he told him with a small smile. Out of everything, those words to Jackson were the only truthful words he'd spoken in a long time and would continue to be.

Aaron couldn't sleep, hell he didn't expect himself too and as he looked at the clock in the darkness he could make out that it was almost four am. With Jackson sound asleep next to him he pushed away the duvet carefully and enough so that he could slip out, he grabbed his dressing gown and once on the landing he closed the door then made his way downstairs. It was cold and the wooden floor was even colder and sent shivers through his body. He walked into the kitchen and flicked on the light. His eyes instantly closed, he'd been in darkness for hours the brightness of the light was too much straight away.

Squinting, he made his way to the kettle and filled it with water. When he turned back to put it on to boil he jumped when his mum was stood in the doorway.

"Jesus mum! You almost gave me a heart attack" he told her as he put the kettle down.

Chas didn't say a word and sat herself at the table and just watched him with folded arms.

"What?" he frowned. "Are you just going to sit there in silence? O-oh or are you sleep walking?"

"No. I'm not sleep walking. I'm very much awake"

"Oh alright then" he said with the scrunch of his face as he pottered around preparing his cup of tea. "Do you want one?"

"No"

"Okay then" he said with a sigh. He felt like an animal in a zoo being watched by visitors.

"You've slept with him haven't you?"

Aaron quickly shot his head round in her direction. "What? No!"

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes!" he hissed. "I haven't seen him, things are better here now, you know that" it seemed he could still deceive her, but it wouldn't last long.

"Yeah that's what bothers me…"

"Erm why would it?"

"Because it can act as your cover…"

Aaron scoffed. "Don't be stupid!" all the while knowing she was right.

"Yeah well…whatever you're doing…I don't have proof yet…and when I do"

"You won't" he said as he sighed loudly.

"And when I do" she repeated louder. "I'll make sure you're stopped, you aren't hurting that lad up there who is absolutely oblivious"

"Oblivious? Mum, I'm not doing anything"

"You bloody better not be Aaron" she told him as he was finished making his drink. "Oh and I'll have a tea actually" she smiled.

Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed and moved to get another mug out of the cupboard.

* * *

**TBC…**


	33. It Can Only Take One Day

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"It Can Only Take One Day…"**

* * *

It was the next morning and Aaron woke up and couldn't feel Jackson beside him, he was alone. As he listened he could hear voices downstairs; it sounded like his mum and Hazel were picking at each other. He sighed and rolled his eyes, when he heard footsteps however getting closer he closed his eyes again, pretending to be asleep.

Jackson walked in with a tray, a glass of orange juice, some tablets and a bowl of porridge. He smiled at Aaron; he looked cute when he was asleep. In that moment Aaron decided to 'wake' "Hey you, I've brought you some breakfast"

Aaron pulled up the duvet to his neck, uncomfortable with even a bit of skin on show, he had no choice in the matter last night but he did now. "How are you feeling?" Jackson asked. "You cold?"

"A bit" he shrugged. "You didn't have to do this Jackson" His guilt was increasing all the more especially when Jackson was being as loving as ever.

Jackson smiled. "I'd be no boyfriend If I wasn't looking after you. But I can't stay I've got to go into the office today, a big shipment of materials is coming in"

Aaron smiled in reply then Jackson leaned over the bed "Hey" he almost whispered and tilted Aaron's chin up then gently kissed him. Aaron deepened the kiss in hopes of any sparks as it were but nothing happened, at least in comparison to a kiss from mark. "I love you Jackson" he told him as he looked him in the eyes, as he did he realised how weird those words felt.

Before Jackson could reply there was a knock on the door and Chas entered. "How's the _patient _this morning?"

Jackson grinned. "He's getting there, he's going out to look for jobs today aren't ya babe?"

Aaron smiled and nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah I am"

Chas pouted as she listened to Aaron, yeah like hell he was! "Ohh, you mind if I tag along? A woman's influence is never a bad thing"

Aaron scowled. "Erm, nah I'll be-"

"Oh go on Aaron it'll be nice"

"If you must" Aaron told her with a sigh.

"Good" she stared gravely at him. "I'll go and get my slap on" she turned and left the room.

A while later Hazel and Jackson left the house, he was driving her into town before continuing to work. "So what was with you and Chas earlier then?"

"We clash Jackson; it's just the way it is"

"Clash because of what? Why I mean she's alright"

"Not because of her, because of Aaron"

"Eh?" he frowned "You're alright with him"

"Yeah well, not lately and she doesn't like what I have to say"

"Well she did tell me you told her Aaron does nothing round the house, cheers for that"

"Well its true Jackson, he's been strange lately and don't say you haven't noticed it, you're his boyfriend for god sake if anyone's to notice stuff, it's you"

Jackson shrugged. "He's been fine; I dunno where you're getting all this from"

"Well then you're blinded aren't you" she huffed as Jackson brought the car to a stop. "Right" she undid her belt and leaned forward. "I'll see you soon" she said before giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, see ya" he told her as she got out of the car. Jackson watched her walk away with a frown on his face; he didn't understand why she would start to bath mouth Aaron now. He was perplexed and shook his head as he pulled away.

On the other side of town, closer to home Aaron and Chas walked at a steady pace side by side. Aaron kept checking his watch and looking around which didn't go unnoticed by his mother. "Am I keeping you? Need to be somewhere do we? I've never seen you so eager to find a job"

Aaron gave her one of his trademark scowls. He sighed, he had to get away from her, he had to get to Mark, and he was all that was on his mind he began to think how he could suddenly lose his mum.

Chas smiled. "Ah, in here, you didn't eat your breakfast Jackson so kindly made you and I didn't have anything so I think this café will do us for now"

"Why?"

"Because I'm hungry"

"No mum, I know what you're doing"

"We need to have a talk; I want to understand what's going on in your head son"

"I've already told you"

"No Aaron, I haven't even scratched the surface, come on, inside" she held her arm out towards the door of the café and Aaron had no choice but to do as she told.

After their orders were taken it gave Chas time to talk. She sighed and looked at her son, she frowned he didn't seem himself at all, he kept looking around, he looked on edge and he had no reason to be, any loud noise made him jump. "Aaron…"

"What!" he replied loudly.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked, genuinely worried about him.

"Nothing, I just don't feel right"

"Why?"

"Well I don't know do I, I just don't"

Chas let out a deep breath. "You have seen Mark haven't you?"

Aaron shook his head. "No" he lied.

"Alright, well do you have feelings for him? Jackson told me you thought you did when you were stuck down that mine…"

Aaron shrugged. "Maybe but I don't see him, so nothing can come of it, not that I want it too"

"But you miss him don't you?"

Aaron sighed and lowered his head. That gave Chas her answer.

"Why do you set out to ruin people's lives? Hmm"

"But I haven't done anything!"

"No but you're missing a man who isn't Jackson" she said in a hushed voice then sniggered. "You think I'm stupid"

"No…you just know me better than anyone…"

"Yeah, and it scares the hell out of me"

"Well why do you insist on coming into town with me then if I scare you so much? You hate me, after you saw what I did…it changed, didn't it? Your love for me…"

Chas swallowed hard. "What you did Aaron…" she shook her head. "It wasn't necessary"

"At the time it was, I wasn't comfortable with myself then, and this world wasn't and still isn't ready for gay people to be open, he threatened that"

Chas sighed. "You can do what the hell you want alright? I don't care anymore but if this all comes out, I won't lie to Jackson, he'll find out some things that are best kept secret and if you so much as switch to that monster I've seen before I won't hesitate in protecting Jackson because out of all this, out of all the people he will be the one to get hurt, hurt from the affair and hurt because you go crazy and I will _not _let that happen"

Aaron just stared at the table the entire time she was speaking. He looked up at her. "It did change then…your love for me, sod this!" he told her as he jumped up from his seat, shoving it into the back of a seat with an elderly woman occupying it and he bolted, he flung the café door open and ran as fast as he could away from her. He caused quite a scene in the café and Chas was left apologising, especially to the old lady at the table in front.

Aaron was sprinting to the mine compound; it was almost break time he would get to see him. He arrived a few minutes later and Mark saw him and he grinned as his heart beat quickened. Aaron grinned too and stopped in front of him seconds later. Breathless, he spoke "Mark, I don't think we're going to be able to see each other later, my mums on my case again! She insisted walking me round town today, anyway I had to see you, she started having a talk with me, we had a bust up and I bolted, I wanna kiss you so badly"

Mark smirked. "Alright, give me five minutes, meet me down our alley…" he said with a laugh.

"Where it all started eh?" Aaron asked with a smile.

Mark chuckled as he walked off. "Five minutes" he reminded him

Aaron made his way out of the compound and crossed the road to the pub; he walked into the alley down the side of the pub and waited. Eventually Mark arrived and stopped in front of him, a thrilling passion overwhelmed him and he pushed him against the wall, kissing him quickly, hands roamed over each other's bodies, they rubbed and squeezed also. Mark brought the kiss to a halt and rested his forehead against Aaron's. "I better get back" he said sadly and his expression matched.

"Ok" Aaron nodded, it saddened him also.

Mark tore himself away from Aaron and walked up to the main street, before leaving it he turned to him again. "Aaron! I'm falling for you…big time…I'll see you soon"

Aaron smiled, it was all he could do he didn't know what to do with that at all and when he'd gone Aaron slid down the wall and put his head in his hands briefly then looked up at the clear blue sky. Minutes later Aaron headed back to the house, once there he ran straight to the phone and dialled the farm where Aaron worked. As luck would have it Adam answered. "Adam!" Aaron called out desperate to talk to him. "Oh thank god"

"Aaron, mate what's up are you alright?" concern filled his voice.

"J-Just listen alright…if my mum or Jackson asks, I came to see you today ok?"

Adam sighed loudly. "What have you done Aaron?"

"Please Adam do this one thing for me"

"I don't like this Aaron, I think me and you need to talk don't you? Meet me in half an hour at the park" he didn't wait for Aaron to reply he simply hung up.

At the park Aaron sat propped up against the trunk of a large tree, he looked up minutes later when Adam stood in front of him. Neither lads said anything; Adam simply sat down beside him. "What you up to Aaron?" Adam asked as he picked away at the grass.

Aaron let out a deep breath. "I-I..." he sighed.

"Come on mate"

"I'm having an affair"

Adam shot a look in his direction, a look of disappointment, that Aaron couldn't keep looking at. "You what!" he demanded.

"With Mark"

"Oh you…"

"Don't alright I know!" Aaron raised his voice.

"What? You know what exactly Aaron!"

"That it's wrong but I can't help myself Adam…h-he…he's different"

"Jackson knew this might happen"

"He knows?"

"Well obviously not! But when the explosion happened he was so scared that he was brainwashing you"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "He hasn't…I've done this by choice…I want them…both…and I can't, I feel so horrible and dirty, I can't help myself Adam"

"Ohh mate, I wish you never told me"

"Why?" Aaron asked him.

"Because you've dragged me into it and now I'm lying to Jackson too! I can't keep this secret"

"Well you're going too"

"He's my mate too Aaron"

"You were mine first, just remember that"

Adam scoffed. "And that should make me feel bound to keep your dirty little secret should it? I don't think so mate"

"Please Adam" Aaron begged as he pushed himself up onto his feet and began pacing back and forth in front of him.

"Don't threaten him"

Aaron's looked on in horror as his mum walked toward him, she'd been close she had to have been. He looked at Adam angrily.

Adam sighed and flung his hands in the air and dropped them helplessly. "I saw her on my way here…s-she told me her suspicions…once she knew I was meeting you, she had a plan…"

"You went behind my back?"

Adam got to his feet. "We just care about you! You're behaviour lately is way more than odd and now we know why! You're bending over for the next man that gave you some attention, and god knows why because Jackson dotes on you! He gives you all the attention you need, and frankly" Adam said as he stepped over to him. "More than you fucking deserve!"

Angrily Aaron flung his fist into Adam's face knocking him back. Chas jumped in. "Hey! No! Aaron! No!" she screamed as she tried to pull him away but he kept punching him, blow after blow to his face. With all her strength Chas eventually dragged him away and held him up against the tree.

"NOW!" she shouted in his face. "NOW DO YOU SEE WHY I'M SCARED TO DEATH?" she screamed then quietened. "Not only for the people around you but for YOU, Aaron"

Aaron's breathing hitched as he began to cry, he looked down at Adam's bloodied face. "I-I'm so sorry Adam, I-…"

Adam got to his feet and wiped the blood from his nose and eyebrow. He shook his head at him and smirked, pointing at him. "Mates don't do that" he said before walking off.

"Adam!" Aaron called after him as he cried, but there was no answer.

Chas pulled Aaron forward then back against the tree forcefully. "Do you blame him?" she asked sadness in her voice

"Get off me" Aaron pleaded.

Chas shook her head. "I'm not letting you out of my sight; you're in no state to be alone"

"Like you care" Aaron spat bitterly before forcing his mother away from him "I'm not coming home either! I've dug my grave and I will lie in it, that house isn't mine anymore, I-I love Jackson" he sobbed. "I do, but I want Mark…I'm not coming back to that house, and whatever you do next, you do it…" he told her and ran.

Chas sighed and watched him run away. "He's losing it" she muttered as she placed her hand on her forehead "Completely losing it, it's happening again…"

…

Aaron arrived at Mark's house but he was still at work. He tried the door and it was locked. He sighed and went on to pick the lock, something he'd seen his uncle Cain do many times from a young age, and it was something he'd become skilled at doing; only this time he wasn't using it to steal, he simply wanted to be inside so he could wait for Mark.

He closed the door behind him and found himself looking around Mark's home, he was so lost, he was losing himself, but he wasn't aware of it. One of the kitchen drawers caught his attention and he stepped over to it and opened it, it was full of cutlery. Aaron looked up and stared at the wall for a second before looking back into the drawer. He picked out a knife and it was no normal knife for eating. He closed the draw and held the knife in his hand; he stared at it as he moved it between his fingers and began to spin it slowly. He didn't know what he was going to do with it; all he knew was that he needed it.

Chas burst into the house and stopped when she saw Jackson. She swallowed hard, but he'd seen her, and was startled by her arrival. "Chas? You alright? Where's Aaron?" he asked as he walked to her. "Have you been crying?"

"Oh erm…yeah…this…" she pointed to her tears, she blew out a breath. "Jackson, we need to talk"

"You're worrying me now…"

"Let's go in the lounge eh?" she forced a smile, she hated the fact she was going to be the one to tell him, but things had gone too far now, he had to know.

Sitting down in the lounge Jackson wondered what was going on and more importantly he was worried about Aaron, where was he?

Chas was shaking. "There's something I need to tell you"

"Where's Aaron? Is he okay?"

"No, Aaron is far from okay Jackson and where he's at is a mystery to me…but…I have an inkling as to where he could be…" she looked Jackson in the eye and was met by his deep frown. "Mark's house…h-he…he's been having an affair"

Jackson's eyes widened and he let out a deep breath, it hurt it really hurt. "N-No, there must be a mistake"

Chas shook her head. "There isn't Jackson, I've been looking for some sort of proof…I got it…I bumped into Adam today, he told me he was meeting Aaron…we had a bust up and he ran off"

Jackson nodded.

"I went with him; hid out of the way and listened as he confessed all to Adam…anyway…when I showed my face he felt betrayed by Adam and things well…they escalated"

"Escalated how…?"

"Aaron punched Adam, repeatedly"

"Oh god" Jackson placed his hands over his mouth. "How is he?"

"He's fine just hurt, physically and emotionally, his friend beat him up, how would you feel?"

Jackson nodded, he understood.

"Still, the fact remains he's been sleeping with Mark, behind your back…"

Jackson nodded. "Y-yeah…y-y-you said Aaron wasn't okay…why?"

"This is not my secret to tell Jackson, but what I will tell you is that he's slipping into a very dark place, a place I really don't want to go back to, I hated experiencing that last time…and now…well…I just might have too, he needs my help…"

"What's that meant to mean? Slipping into a very dark place? Is this linked with Mark, the affair?"

Chas shook her head. "No, it's completely separate…you think Aaron's fully recovered from things Jackson? And by recovered I mean mentally?"

Jackson frowned. "I-I-I think so…b-but now, I don't know…Chas please tell me"

"I can't, you have to hear it from Aaron but what you need to know is that he isn't recovered, I'm no expert but Aaron doesn't deal with things, he makes it look like he does, but he just buries it all, and when it comes back to kick him, like it's starting now…I-it won't be good"

"Chas I can't help him if you don't tell me"

Chas started to cry. "I can't" she got up and started to run out. "I'm sorry"

…

Jackson mind was filled with images of another man making love to Aaron as he marched toward Mark's house, he'd stopped by the mine compound, made a cock and bull story about being an old friend and asked for his correct address, he'd lost the note he'd written it down on. They gave him it and now he was heading right there.

Stopping at the door he banged on it repeatedly. He wasn't stopping until someone answered. Seconds later the door opened and it was Mark, he remembered his face. With anger Jackson barged in and grabbed him by the neck as he did and pinned him up against the wall. "Where is Aaron?" Jackson yelled. "I know about you two, so don't deny it! Where the hell is he?"

Mark struggled for air but Jackson let go just in time and he dropped to the floor, his breathing was rapid. "I-I love him alright, we couldn't help it"

Jackson laughed. "You love him? Yeah course you do! You manipulated him!"

Mark shook his head. "No…Aaron h-he…he did this on his own…it was his choice"

"Well I've just been told Aaron isn't doing so well right now, something I should have seen…but I'm betting whatever it is has something to do with this and when I find him…he'll be coming back to our home with me" Jackson told him and walked off into the living room, searching then moved upstairs to look.

Minutes later Jackson returned, Mark had been truthful, Aaron really wasn't there, and it scared Jackson. He probably would have preferred it if he was there. He stared at Mark.

"W-why would you want him now?"

Jackson's eyes narrowed in anger as he approached Mark. "Excuse me?"

"Why would you want him now?"

"Yeah I heard you…and do you really want to know why? I love him, it's that simple…somehow Aaron's losing it, and he's out there somewhere alone, and by all accounts from what I could figure from his mum, unstable…very unstable and he needs saving"

Mark scoffed. "By you"

Jackson got in Mark's face. "Hey…I've done it before and I can do it again…it's amazing what love can do eh? Even after hearing about his betrayal…I still love him and you…well…" Jackson chuckled. "…You're nowhere near good enough for him" Jackson spat bitterly, deep down he had inherited his mother's mind-set, it very rarely surfaced but when it did, he certainly put it to use.

"Well then answer me this…why did he fall into _my _arms and not yours?"

Violence from Jackson was something he had never ever let himself lower to, but in this case he did. Raging he swiped his fist across Mark's face and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. He stopped for a second, regaining his composure, the sun was setting. He had to find Aaron.

Aaron wandered aimlessly along the boardwalk, the sun was almost gone. He'd come to the lake with Jackson before, he cried, it was a perfect day, he had never forgotten that day. He held a large heavy brick in his hand and what could be seen hanging out of his jacket pocket was a rope. His breathing hitched as he reached the end of the boardwalk, he stared down into the water then sat down as he pulled the rope from his pocket.

* * *

**TBC…**


	34. That's Where You Belong

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"That's Where You Belong"**

* * *

_In the past I've had a negative response to me adding a spiritual side to my stories, but it's been a while and I definitely wanted to include it for this chapter._

* * *

Aaron was ready, his preparations had been made, his feet were bound by a rope and the large brick was in between his legs also tied with the rope. It was tied well; he couldn't afford for this to fail. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife he'd taken from Mark's house and held it tightly in his hand, the knife now had traces of blood on it. It was dark now and the reflection of the moonlight on the water captivated Aaron as he just stared at it.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Aaron?" a voice in the darkness caused him to jump and there next to Aaron sat a man, a man that he would never forget. He gasped as he stared at him.

"D-D-Doing what?" Aaron wasn't himself, he wasn't aware.

"Hurting yourself, sat here like this ready to drown"

"It's got to be done"

"Why?"

"Because I've done bad things"

The man scoffed. "One bad thing Aaron, one that's affected you severely even to this day"

Aaron frowned. "W-w-why are you even here? You're dead"

Carl King smiled. "Yes, yes I am dead…but see I'm not really here. It's your mind Aaron, you're a mess and you're thinking about me and projecting me because I signify the point where everything changed"

"So" he scrunched his face. "I'm talking to myself?"

"Essentially, yeah…you're talking to yourself"

"Oh get a grip I'm not that far gone!"

Carl reached over and grabbed the rope and shoved it in Aaron's face. "Really?"

Aaron sighed and shoved the rope away from his face. "Why do you even care anyway? I killed you in cold blood, you should be happy"

"You think this makes me happy Aaron? Do you have any idea what this will do to your mum? To Jackson?"

"Why do you care? You pushed me and I acted" he scoffed. "And my mum hates me for it, because she loved you…she might try and pretend but I know she won't forget the night her own son murdered her lover…and as for Jackson he knows what I've done, I can sense it and do you know what…why does it matter? Why does any of this matter?"

"It all matters, all of it…you're having a breakdown and that's alright they can help you, if you let them…y-you just have to put that knife to a better use and cut that rope, you have your entire life ahead of you, I don't want your guilt for killing me to be the root cause, aswell as everything else that's going on with you"

There was silence for a few minutes before Carl spoke. "You always hated me, we were proper enemies" he chuckled. "And when I found out you were gay well I had ammunition didn't I? Wouldn't have expected to have been killed by anyone else really…I pushed and pushed you"

Aaron grimaced, he didn't like reliving it.

"But I forgive you"

"NO!" Aaron hissed as he got into his face. "Don't you dare say that!"

"But it is true Aaron, you have to let go of it…you aren't a monster, you just think you are and that's wrong"

"Why did I betray Jackson then when he does everything he can for me? Yeah I was angry at you for your hateful remarks and you're digs but it didn't mean you had to be killed, yet…I still did it…"

"People just do things Aaron" Carl shrugged. "People snap, they lose control and they have no idea what they're doing, when you picked up that brick you were blinded by anger"

Aaron dropped his head in his hands and sobbed. "I wish I hadn't"

"I know and you thought by getting away you'd be free of it but you're not…this affair business god knows why you did it…attention from someone else, someone who you have no real feelings for, to which then means you don't have be worried or frightened of them finding out what you've done"

"No real feelings?" Aaron asked.

Carl nodded.

Aaron pouted. "Mark said he was falling for me today…I just smiled…" he frowned as he thought about it all, what if his mind, or the ghost of Carl was right?

"Aaron, what did you do after you killed me? When you realised what you'd done?"

"I-I went home…"

"And your mum?"

"She knew something was wrong straight away, I-I was scared I was out of my mind and I knew…I knew how much it would have hurt her but I had to tell her and I did, I asked her for help" Aaron explained as he stared down into the lake. "I took her to the garage and she saw you lying there…it all changed"

"But she's here Aaron here in America because Jackson asked her too, no she hasn't forgotten but she'll have forgiven…so please, please just ask her for help, ask her again" he pleaded with him.

Aaron shook his head. "If I do that Jackson will have to know and I'm sorry but there's no way any amount of love for someone can withstand finding out your partners a murderer, I know it doesn't"

Carl sighed. "Fine. Jump"

Aaron frowned. "What?"

"Go on, do it…you aren't listening to a word I say"

"You aren't real!" Aaron shouted which worried the approaching person.

"No, but it's your mind, kinda like good versus evil…you have to listen to your positive thoughts Aaron…"

"Positive thoughts?" he laughed. "Yeah really?"

"I said I forgive you"

Aaron turned to face Carl but he had vanished.

"Who are you talking to Aaron?" Adam's familiar voice startled him and he turned to face him.

"If you come any closer I swear to god Adam I'll jump in" he warned him quickly to which Adam stopped dead in his tracks.

"Woah, mate slow down…I'm not going to hurt you…y-you don't look so good…w-what have you done? Let me see" Adam said as he stepped forward.

"DON'T!" Aaron raised his voice as he held the knife in view.

Adam stopped again and swallowed hard at the sight of the knife and the fact that he'd obviously used it and would be bleeding. "It's alright Aaron"

"I hurt you" Aaron said as his body shuddered as more tears broke free.

Adam shook his head. "I'm fine…I'm still your mate, I'm here"

"W-why are people nice to me!" he asked in a rage, waving the knife around in his anger.

"Because you're a good person Aaron"

"You don't know what I've done! What I'm capable of! What I could have done to you earlier!"

Adam shrugged. "But you didn't"

"Because I was stopped"

"I believe you would have stopped if your mum wasn't there, we're the best of friends Aaron and at some point y-you would have stopped hitting me and deep down I know that, you're not a bad person, something has obviously happened in the past to have triggered something…and now…I'm figuring out what that is"

"And what? What is it?" Aaron asked him.

Adam sighed. "You killed someone didn't you?"

"Bingo"

"A-Alright…and your behaviour is caused by the guilt of that…w-what I don't get is why the affair? Does it link?"

Aaron sighed. "Someone told me that because I have no real feelings for Mark, I'm less worried about him finding out what I did, as opposed to Jackson finding out….with him I'm scared as hell"

Adam frowned. "Who told you this?"

Aaron got to his feet and stood staring blankly, his view just above Adam's head. "Carl did"

"Who's Carl?" Adam was confused, he'd never heard Aaron mention a Carl.

"The man I killed" Aaron replied quietly.

It was in that moment that Adam realised the full extent of Aaron's trauma. "O-Ok…" he was in way over his head here, Jackson and Chas knew where he was heading to look, he hoped to god one of them arrived soon, he had no idea what to do. "And killing yourself is the answer…"

Aaron shrugged. "I-I hurt people Adam, I could have killed you, I have killed and I've betrayed Jackson, he knows, I know he does…I-I can't see the hurt I've caused him…"

"J-Jackson's alright…h-he is…you know, he's strong…he's just worried about you, we all are mate, please, please come away from the edge, do you want to know what Jackson said to me and you're mum before we split up to come look for you?"

Aaron didn't reply.

"I said you're the best thing that has ever happened to me"

Adam turned around startled but relieved that Jackson was standing a few metres behind him. Jackson walked over to Adam and placed his hand on his shoulder, in a way relieving him then stepped forward.

"What the hell is this?" Aaron cried out. "I-I don't want you to see me!"

"And I said" Jackson spoke louder over Aaron. "...that despite the affair…I still love you…and whatever else there is for me to find out then we deal with it together"

Aaron shook his head crying constantly now, the embarrassment and pain of knowing Jackson was seeing him such a state with his feet tied by a rope, and that rope tied by a brick killed him, he wasn't meant to see.

"Yes we will Aaron! You are the first and last man I will ever love and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you go through all of this alone, I can't and won't let you, and I certainly won't stand by and let you fall into that water, because by god if you do I'll be right in after you and I will with all my strength drag you back out, brick attached or not"

Adam now stood watching from a small distance, he could hear every word though and still see everything, he struggled with his emotions and he sobbed his heart out at the scene playing out before him.

"But I hurt you" Aaron cried.

"Yeah…but what makes it better is that I have a good inclination that you weren't acting on purpose" Jackson sighed. "You're not well babe, you haven't been for a long time…this dark secret…Titanic…the mine…I-I should have seen it…but you covered it…maybe you didn't, or maybe you didn't know what was happening…but the important thing is that we get you help"

"You're going to lock me away, padded room… everything…"

Jackson quickly shook his head. "No, no babe I'm not going to do that" he told him but he knew he may have too. The lie was necessary to rouse him from the edge and to safety.

"I killed a man Jackson, back home…I killed him…I used a brick" he sniggered as he looked down at the one tied to him. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and sniffed. "Seems fitting doesn't it…I-I couldn't have possibly whacked it over my own head, this is the next best thing I could think of to end it"

Jackson shook his head dreading the thought of Aaron falling in. "Aaron, I love you, we can deal with this together, we can fix this, we can fix everything, but _I, I _can fix you Aaron…I trust you and I know you would never hurt me…a-and Adam's here…he's fine…he's not going anywhere"

Aaron dropped his head as he continued to sob.

"Your mum is scared to death Aaron, she loves you"

"She pretends too"

"Why would she?"

"Because the man I killed was her lover"

"Well why is she here then?"

Aaron shrugged.

"Because she forgives you, you wouldn't have killed him without good reason and a reason we'll discuss another time. Right now I'm more concerned about getting you away from that water and back in my arms…that's where you belong Aaron…"

Aaron shook his head. "I'm sorry" he said quietly before he kicked the brick into the water and allowed himself to fall back.

"NO!" Jackson screamed and he ran for him. Adam jumped into action to but it was too late. Adam and Jackson just looked at each other in a grief stricken panic, completely stunned for a second then at the same time, both of them jumped into the water together.

* * *

**TBC…**


	35. Under The Wings Of Grace

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Under The Wings Of Grace"**

* * *

Jackson and Chas walked into the house, except from Jackson's sobs an eerie silence filled the place. Chas turned and closed the front door, her mascara had run from her eyes, she had been crying. Now they were simply full of tears, unable to fall free for the moment anyway. She turned back to face Jackson, she was at a loss; she did not know what to do with herself.

Jackson stood still staring down at the set of keys in his hand; his body was shuddering as he cried.

Chas stepped forward to go and comfort him but she abruptly stopped when Jackson lashed out with a scream as he flung the set of keys towards the closed kitchen door, the impact on the door echoed in the hall and then they dropped to the wooden floor and the loud noise from that caused her to jump.

Jackson's head was in his hands as he cried harder and much louder now; his pain if not known before was evident now.

Chas marched over and hugged him tightly just as her own tears began to fall again. Jackson fell against her as he sobbed but she couldn't hold him up, as he started to fall to the floor, she went with him desperate not too lose her hold on him. She rubbed his back slowly and hushed him softly.

Jackson tried to calm down, he felt her hand on his back and heard her soothing him but he couldn't, the pain was too much and the events of the last twelve hours replayed in his mind…

* * *

Jackson swam deeper feeling around for him, he couldn't all he could feel was the force of the water coming his way from Adam forcing himself further down.

Aaron was falling slowly, it was dark, he couldn't see anything and the further down he went, the colder it became. He was unaware of actually how close his boyfriend and best mate were. That was a good thing he wouldn't panic and try to quicken what he intended to do if he knew. He closed his eyes and smiled, he could feel the ability to hold his breath draining. He let go. He blew the air out, sending massive amounts of bubbles above, in the boys' path.

Aaron was drowning, his lungs were quickly filling with water and suddenly a dreading panic came over him in the last seconds before he lost consciousness but before he did, Jackson's hand's grabbed Aaron by the shoulders and pulled him up while Adam swam by his feet, and although blinded in the darkness he managed to untie the brick, that could sink; Aaron however couldn't. Jackson felt the weight on his boyfriend ease up and he kicked for the surface, dragging Aaron with him. He wouldn't have been able to do that without help, Jackson was grateful.

When they got to the surface they were close to the shore of the lake and they swam with all of the strength they could muster, a minute or so later they were out of the water. Jackson was on his knees by Aaron's side, desperately and in a panic he unzipped Aaron's jacket and pushed each side away, giving him better access to his chest. Beneath Aaron's jacket the blood soaked cut on his stomach was still bleeding, polluting the wetness and running down his side.

"JESUS JACKSON! Do something!" Adam shouted breathlessly.

Jackson nodded and he placed one hand over his other and placed it over his chest. "Go and get help, an ambulance preferably!" Jackson told him and began the vital pumps onto Aaron's chest as Adam ran off. Jackson was counting them in his head, then stopped, pinched Aaron's nose with his fingers and pulled open his mouth and locked his own on it and blew his own air into Aaron, he had to give him life again he just had too!

Jackson blinked away the tears as he continued the pumps to Aaron's chest, all the while looking down at him. His face was pale and the worst thing was that he looked peaceful that's what upset Jackson the most. "Come on…" he urgently whispered. "Come on babe, don't do this" he stopped and leaned down again and gave him more air. It was no good. "I love you and I'm not just saying it" he began as he started pumping his chest again. "I mean this Aaron, y-you are going to be alright, and whatever happens I'm not going anywhere" his tone became frustrated and he stopped. He raised his fist. "Just wake up!" he growled as he whacked his chest hard with the side of his hand.

Aaron's body jerked instantly and he began to cough out water. Jackson's eyes widened and he quickly grabbed Aaron and cradled him in his arms. When Aaron became aware of what was going on and who was holding him, he remembered and he let out a heartfelt cry and clung to Jackson.

Jackson stroked his wet hair and held him tightly with one arm and placed pressure on his cut with the other. "Shh, hey…it's alright…you're going to be alright I promise you"

…

As the ambulance took him away he had a violent outburst toward the paramedics, so bad they had to restrain him. Adam physically and emotionally could not let himself go in the ambulance to the hospital with Jackson. He was too distraught after the events of the night and needed to get his head around it all, after of course informing Chas. Now into the hours of the early morning Aaron was sedated in a psychiatric ward at the local hospital being monitored every half hour. Someone attempting to take their own life was cause for concern at any time but adding the violence and hysteria, it caused the doctors to evoke such an action, for Aaron's own sake.

Chas and Jackson sat in a waiting room with the doctor, he had just entered and they were nervous and scared for what might be said. "Ms Livesy?"

Chas frowned, it wasn't her surname but she wasn't going to get into the details to correct him. "Yes, I'm his mum, this is his brother, Jackson…he got him out of the water" Chas told them and realised how weird saying brother was; she never had to until now.

"Yes, the nurses brought me up to speed on events…I'm sorry it's taken so long to get round to you but before we sedated him I spoke to him, attempted to psychologically evaluate"

Chas scoffed and rubbed her face in despair. "I'm sorry…with all due respect doctor but surely you can see he isn't right even without an evaluation"

"Yes of course…he told me about the murder back in the UK"

Chas nodded as she lowered her head. "I thought he was fine…when he left for this country he was excited, wanted a new life…well that's what he told me…" she said with a sigh.

"You think he was running away? Thought maybe it would make him forget?"

Chas nodded. "It's possible yes"

"I'm going to have to suggest we keep him here, isolated from the world for a while"

Jackson dropped his head and bit his lip, fighting the tears, he knew it was a likely outcome but he lied and was now the one betraying him, he told him he wouldn't do this but he did know it was in Aaron's best interests to remain; still however it didn't make him feel any better. Jackson looked up at the doctor. "I told him, I promised him that wouldn't happen"

The doctor sympathised with the family's situation. "I understand how hard this is for both of you but this is the best thing we can possibly do for Aaron at the moment"

"I-I know" Jackson replied as Chas placed her arm around him.

"How long doctor?" Chas asked with tear filled eyes.

"It depends on the patient, we'll counsel him, give him medication, when he's doing well we'll slowly wean him off them and if we're satisfied he'll be allowed to go home, all of this can…" he sighed. "…well it could take a few weeks, a month, two…six months a-and then there's the possibility of no recovery, I understand that's not the answer you want to hear but you have to prepare in case he doesn't"

Chas and Jackson nodded, stunned at that possibility. "Can we see him?" Chas asked.

"Of course, the sedatives wore off half an hour ago, I thought I'd see you while he came around…but I ask only one at a time?"

Chas and Jackson nodded. The doctor smiled and got to his feet, as did they and they followed him out.

Standing outside Aaron's room, Jackson was apprehensive. "Go on" Chas said softly.

Jackson pinched his lower lip between his fingers "I-I can't…y-you go first"

Chas nodded. "Okay love…"

"Be prepared Ms Livesy, he's quite vacant…if there is an outburst do not worry I'll be on hand"

"Thank you doctor" she said with a smile and pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Aaron was blankly staring but he was aware of someone entering the room, his head swayed lazily in the direction and he saw her, no expression formed on his face.

Chas smiled as her tears ran freely. "Hiya love, it's me…your mum" she said with a weak smile as she walked around the side of his bed and just looked at him as he looked up at her. "God you're so lost" she said helplessly and she covered her mouth as her crying worsened. She stopped herself and took a deep breath and reached out for his hand and held it. "D-Do you know who I am?"

Aaron's face was still expressionless and he simply looked ahead.

"Aaron?" she asked as her breathing was shaky, his 'response' was not the one she wanted. "Talk to me?"

Aaron lowered his head and frowned, then shook his head slowly. "I…I don't want too"

"B-But I'm your mum" she sobbed out.

"And I hurt you. Y-you loved Carl…"

"Yes" she nodded. "Yes I did, but Aaron, I forgave you…in time, and I wouldn't be here otherwise. You are my flesh and blood and I love you more than I will any man, my behaviour towards you lately is something I can't apologise for because it was all out of love because I knew what you could be like and I could see you hurting Jackson and I didn't want that to happen. I'm never going to give up on you, I love you and it's time you start believing that, I don't know what's gone on in your mind kid but despite what you've done, I still do"

Aaron turned and looked back up at his mother; she could see the sadness and the tears starting. "I'm sorry" Aaron said in a whispery tone as the lump in his throat restricted him a lot.

"It's alright" she smiled through her tears and stroked his face. "Listen love, I'm going to let Jackson come in now, so…" she stopped and blew out a breath, this was the worst part. "I'll see you soon ok?"

Aaron nodded, but he felt that something was wrong. "Okay"

Chas reached down and kissed him on his forehead before turning and leaving without looking back. When she exited the room she walked a little way down the corridor and burst into tears, her crying harsh and loud. Jackson was prepared to see Aaron now so he walked in, giving Chas some space.

Jackson smiled at him as he approached the side of the bed. "Hey"

"Hi"

"How are you feeling?" Jackson asked.

Aaron shrugged. "Drugged up I think…not all there at the moment"

"No" Jackson said as he sat on the stool by the bed. "You're not, that's why you're here"

"In hospital I know, once I'm better I can come home"

Jackson smiled. "Yeah, course…" he replied quietly, then frowned. "A-Aaron…you do know where you are don't you?"

"Yeah" he frowned. "Hospital I just said"

"Well that's true but…the doctor has had a word with us…"

"Oh him…he was asking me weird questions"

"…to evaluate your…erm…" Jackson struggled, as it seemed that Aaron didn't know what was truly going on he couldn't keep him in the dark any longer. "…your mental state"

"Mental state?" Aaron scoffed.

"Aaron you're not well look what happened earlier"

Aaron averted his eyes and looked away, he vividly remembered everything.

"You're in a psychiatric ward Aaron, and you're going to be staying here until your well enough to come home"

Aaron shook his head slowly as his face scrunched and the tears fell. "Y-You…you said-"

Jackson nodded as he reached out for his hand but Aaron pulled it away quickly. Jackson pulled his hand back and looked at the floor. "I-I know what I said"

"You lied"

"I thought it would stop you doing what you actually ended up doing"

"YOU LIED!" Aaron shouted.

Jackson certainly could have bit back but he was bigger than that. "Yes, yeah I did"

"GET OUT!" Aaron screamed.

Jackson sighed. "Aaron I love you" he told him quietly. "I did this for you, w-we both did, me and your mum…this is the best place for you right now and y-you're still going to see us and Adam" he smiled but it wasn't rousing him. "Aaron! Please!"

"Go! Jackson! I hate you! I'm locked away now and you promised!" he raged as he pulled away tubes and wires from his body.

Jackson was quickly back on his feet trying to stop him but it was obviously too late, he had quickly removed all tubes. "GET OFF ME!" Aaron screamed and just as the doctors ran in, Aaron whacked Jackson in the eye with his fist which knocked him back.

Jackson winced as he regained his balance. He stood behind all the nurses who were struggling to calm him down. Aaron was kicking and screaming against their efforts. "A-Aaron, you'll still see us, we…we'll be here tomorrow"

"NO! I HATE YOU!"

The doctor who had spoken to them turned to Jackson and just nodded to him, Jackson quickly left the room, and upon entering the corridor he knew Chas had seen and heard all. "I-I'm sorry Chas"

Chas shook her head as she stared through the window of the door. "It's not your fault Jackson…this was to be expected…I-I don't want to leave him but there's nothing we can do here"

Jackson nodded in agreement.

"I think we should go home…that was quite a whack he gave you, are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah I'm fine…he didn't do it on purpose, he was lashing out"

Chas nodded and she put her arm around his and linked him and they began walking down the corridor.

* * *

Chas pulled away from Jackson put stayed in front of him and she reached out and wiped his tears away. "Come on, let's go in the lounge" she told him and she took both of his hands and helped him up off the floor of the hallway.

Jackson chuckled as he wiped his nose once he was standing. "I-I should be helping you"

Chas shook her head. "I'm alright…well you know" she smiled a little.

Jackson nodded as they walked through and they sat on the sofa. Chas looked at him and winced. "Think you're gunna get a shiner there love" she told him as she examined his eye.

Jackson shrugged. "Least of my problems right now"

Chas nodded. "I know love"

"H-he said he hates me"

"Oh Jackson…" she placed her arm around him again pulling him close. "He doesn't mean it"

"Doesn't he? Y-you didn't see the anger and disappointment in his eyes. I said this wouldn't happen"

"Ey…we've done it for him"

"And I told him that" Jackson answered with a shrug. "Didn't make a difference"

"It's only day one Jackson you have to be strong for him"

Jackson let out a shaky breath and nodded then turned and looked at Chas.

Chas could see the tears that had filled his eyes. "You can cry anytime you want love…just shows you have a heart…if men don't cry then…well they're not men at all…"

Jackson chuckled as the tears dropped from his eyes. "So can you, we can help each other through this, and we've got my mum and Adam too"

Chas smiled. "You better call her, let her know what's going on, a-and if you don't mind can you call Adam too, ask him to come over, I'd like to see him, he's affected to by all of this, I hate the thought of him alone dealing with it all"

"Yeah…sure" Jackson told her as he got to his feet and walked out to make the calls.

Chas looked towards the window, the sky was clear blue with no clouds and the sun was shining outside, it was warm too but she hadn't really noticed it on the way back from the hospital, who would after a night like that? She sighed and rubbed her face, she needed sleep and so did Jackson.

* * *

**TBC…**


	36. Timeless

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Timeless"**

* * *

With a sigh Jackson got up off his and Aaron's bed in frustration. It was now middle of the afternoon he'd been attempting to sleep since eight am, after he and Chas arrived back home. He opened the curtains and the sunlight lit up the room. He leant against the window sill and looked down over the main street, he sighed as he wished for Aaron to be there with him he just wanted him home. He moved from the window and headed out of the bedroom and made his way downstairs.

Walking into the kitchen Chas was already there making some lunch. "Can't sleep either?" she asked.

"I managed I dunno, about an hour altogether. Been tossing and turning the rest of the time" he said with a sigh as he sat down at the table. "Got frustrated eventually, I'm knackered" he said as he rubbed his eyes. "Been awake how long?"

Chas turned and looked up at the clock. "Thirty hours or so" she told him.

Jackson nodded, it sounded right.

"Are you hungry? I can make you something"

"Oh, n-no I'm alright thanks"

"You have to eat love" Chas encouraged.

"I know" Jackson replied quietly as he looked down at his hands which were clasped together. He frowned. "I…I'm just not hungry, that's all"

Chas nodded and Jackson began to relive events in mind, an instant anger sparked within him; things had simply gone way too far. He took a deep breath and considered his words. "C-Chas…I'm not being horrible but why didn't you help him? What happened all those years ago?" he asked as he looked up at her.

Chas instantly frowned and was offended. She turned and faced him. "Excuse me?" she asked while glaring at him. "I did the best I could do for him. I always have and will, but with no money there was only so much I could do, my son killed someone, it was obvious he needed help but I couldn't afford for a counsellor. Jackson…" she stopped and tried to calm herself down, his words had riled her up. "We live in a tiny village in Yorkshire, most of the jobs are in the nearby towns and even then they're hard to come by…"

Jackson shook his head. "I-I'm not judging-"

"But you are, I was lucky I got into the pub" she said then sighed. "And yes…o-o-other things but that is simply the way of life that I chose for myself, don't you dare try and judge me Jackson. Or even attempt to comprehend what mine and my sons life is like, back there it's hard, there's disease, pollution, crime and Aaron, well he got swept up in the crime, but you know that" she stopped for a breath, it was easy for her to go on a tangent but she felt some things needed to be said.

"I did what I had to, to get us food on the table, we're not all born with silver spoons in our mouths, so I'AM sorry I couldn't get an expert to talk to him about what he'd done, I' am his mother I looked after him after he killed Carl, he was distraught Jackson, he didn't mean to do it…I held my nineteen year old boy in my arms…at _that_ age Jackson…it was heart breaking"

Jackson sighed, he felt awful now. He was tired, as was Chas, this was bound to happen. "I-I didn't mean too…"

"Well I do, Jackson…if you can start asking those questions that you know would get my back up then I will bite back!" she yelled.

Jackson straightened up, a deep scowl on his brow. "Yeah!" he raised his voice. "And that's fair enough but surely you could see what Carl was doing to him?!" he demanded to know.

"No!" she screeched. "No actually I couldn't because before we even got together, they both hated each other, for whatever their reasons, I still don't know and I don't care too. So whenever Carl started goading him about being gay, it was all the same to me I just thought it was the same old feud, Aaron never talked much as you know…so I didn't think it was serious…" she blew out a breath and placed her hand on her forehead and bit her lip. "Wha…What Aaron did Jackson, it was a shock, I loved Carl so much" she explained as tears began to fall.

"Oh? As opposed to Aaron! At least now anyway?" he asked with a raised voice.

"N-" Chas abruptly stopped at the sound of the phone ringing. She sighed and glared at Jackson as she left the kitchen and walked along the hallway to answer it.

Chas quickly realised it was the doctor who she and Jackson had spoken to very early in the day. He explained to her that Aaron had accepted counselling and was taking his medication with no problems, and that he's responding but it was still however early days.

The doctor sighed. "There is one more thing…"

Chas frowned. "Go on"

"I know this will be hard but Aaron is still adamant in not wanting to see anyone and I'm sure you can understand we have to go by his wishes"

"Uh, oh, y-yes of course" she replied as fresh tears ran down her face. "How long for?"

"I'm not sure yet Ms Livesy but I will work on him, you have to trust me...you will get your son back"

"How can you be so sure?" she asked sadly.

"I'm very good at my job" he told her. "I will do my upmost, I hate losing patients Ms Livesy, I...I could try a lifetime to help them recover but it sometimes doesn't work, however Aaron's nowhere near that point. Adding his stubborn edge which I endured this morning I might add to his illness…well he is a difficult so and so"

Chas chuckled as she wiped her eyes. "Yes, yes he is"

"I will keep you informed and just remember I'll try and get him to accept visits"

"Thank you doctor, I look forward to hearing from you again" Chas put the phone down with a sigh and walked back into the kitchen and leaned up against the bench.

Jackson simply looked at her "What? What is it? Is Aaron okay?"

"From what I got from that he's fine, he's accepting counselling, the medication but he doesn't want visitors"

Jackson shook his head. "No, nope I'm not having that; I'm not leaving him there on his own"

"I don't like the idea either but you are going to have too!"

"You can't tell me what to do!" Jackson shouted back.

Chas stepped forward and leaned down over the table and got in Jacksons face. "When it comes to my son Jackson, I can and by god I will, I'm thinking of his welfare here and if that means missing him then we have too, he's ill Jackson!"

"You don't have to tell me that!"

"Well yes I do because you seem to think this is all about you Jackson"

Jackson banged his fist down on the table instantly in a rage as unknowingly to them Hazel and Adam stood in the doorway of the kitchen. There entrance was clouded by the yelling and it was still on-going.

"No it's not, it's about him, my boyfriend, I-I've looked after him since we met, _loved_ him, helped him, saved him for Christ sake and this! This is the thanks that I get? And no it's not about me; I don't like the idea because he needs me!" Jackson stopped and only then was he aware of their visitors, he swallowed hard.

Chas turned and looked where Jackson was and saw them. She sighed, that wasn't something she wanted them to witness. She turned back to Jackson. "He doesn't realise he needs us Jackson, time…we have to give him time"

Jackson clenched his jaw and he got to his feet quickly while shaking his head angrily and he barged through his mum and Adam then grabbed his jacket.

"Jackson!" Adam called for him. "Where you going mate?" Jackson's response was the slam of the door.

"I think you have some explaining to do Chastity" Hazel told her with a disapproving look.

"Oh shut up Hazel" Chas spat angrily and barged through them just like Jackson had and went to her room, her sandwich she was making before Jackson had come down could wait.

Hazel rolled her eyes and sighed and looked at Adam. She smiled at him. "Have you cleaned those cuts up properly? Eh?"

"Er, no…" Adam told her with the shake of his head.

Hazel placed her arm around him and walked him to the table and sat him down, after pulling the chair to the table from which was flung away in Jackson's temper when he'd got up. Hazel then searched the cupboards for some antiseptic; she found some and turned the tap on. "Should do the trick, don't know what's in those lakes" she said with a smile but Adam just nodded with a slight smile. Hazel walked back with a bowl of warm water and a clean cloth and sat down. She sighed as she looked at the state of Adam's face. "He certainly let it out on you didn't he?"

Adam shrugged. "It doesn't matter"

"I know but still"

"No, it doesn't" Adam shook his head. "He's my best mate Hazel, I love him, I care about him, what I feel from his punches is nothing compared to what he's going through at the minute…I-I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for him. Aaron wasn't himself when he beat me...hell even if he was fine I'd still forgive him"

"That's good of you" Hazel said with a smile.

Adam smiled at her as he nodded. "We went through a lot together so there would be no point in ending our friendship now, what me and Aaron have is timeless, there's a connection that can't simply be broken, I'm here for him always and I know he will be again for me to, when he's better"

Her heart strings were severely being pulled. Adam spoke with such warmth, pride and love for Aaron that it brought tears to her eyes, she reached out and squeezed his hand. Only then did Adam falter, his breathing hitched as he began to cry, he lowered his head and his shoulders jerked quickly as the powerful emotions left him.

"Let it out love" Hazel soothed. "He'll be back soon"

….

Jackson sighed as he put his hand out to block the door from being shut in his face. "Just let me in"

"Why would I do that?" Mark asked from behind the door.

"Because you _love_ my Aaron and this is concerning him" he spoke quietly then loudened again. "So…yeah…" and all of a sudden his temper peaked and he forced his way in, pushing the door open angrily. Slamming the door shut behind him Jackson stared at Mark who stood nervously in the doorway to the living room. "So what? You gunna hit me again?"

Jackson shook his head. "No that was a one off. So…w-where did it happen then? My bed? _The alley_, here?"

Mark sighed. "Here…on the couch…actually"

"Ahh, classy" Jackson spoke with attitude and a smile. "See, I get why Aaron likes you…I mean yeah you're attractive but…something just doesn't fit…"

"He likes me Jackson, and I…w-well…" he stuttered. "I lo-"

"Oh yeah course, sorry I almost forgot…you love him…sorry I could just burst into laughter knowing that…ahh this world eh? So…where is he then? Cause I still haven't found him"

Mark pouted and looked up at Jackson, realising something was really wrong. "I don't know Jackson…really I-"

"I lied" Jackson spoke above him. "I spent last night trying to talk Aaron down from killing himself…"

Mark's eyes widened. "You what?"

"I-It didn't work…well it did after his mate and I jumped into the lake after him, see he attached a brick to his feet…hard work that under water and completely blind…then" Jackson spat angrily with tears in his eyes as he approached him. "I had to revive him…can you imagine what that's like? Hmm!" he yelled as the tears ran down his face. "Can you? The man you love is lying lifeless in front of you and you're doing all you can to bring him back…and just as hope runs out there he was, coughing, spluttering water and crying…"

Mark's head was bowed, Jackson's words hitting him hard.

"And where was he hmm Mark? Where was he?"

"W-w-with you" he muttered.

Jackson nodded. "With me! But where were you? For a man who loves him you weren't anywhere to be seen despite knowing he was missing!"

"He's a grown lad!"

"Nineteen years old Mark, NINETEEN! Unstable and hurt…"

"I-I…I"

"You used him, you wanted to fuck him on your seedy little sofa, probably seen more action than the entire town's population put together! You're a sleaze Mark, you got what you wanted, you pretended to fall in love, like you're pretending with me now, you tried to reel him in…it worked good for you…he's in the psychiatric ward if you must know, he has other issues aside from the suicide, not share them with you? No?"

Mark shook his head.

"What a surprise…If you really are telling me the truth but I doubt…then go and see him" Jackson told him, knowing he possibly would but he'd get a big shock because even if Aaron did see him, it was likely that despite not wanting to see him or Chas he had to have realised who he belonged with and that was not Mark. At least; Jackson hoped.

"What? Just like that?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah go on, why not? But I'm telling you this, if and I mean if he still wants you…trust me I will get him back, and I'm not being a psycho or possessive I just…well there's something between me and Aaron…see Aaron and Jackson" Jackson smiled. "It fits…it works, Aaron and Mark" he pulled up his lip and shook his head. "That doesn't"

Mark scoffed. "Wow…"

"Problem?"

Mark shook his head. "No…I will go and see him but…I think I messed with the wrong man didn't I?"

"Yeah and don't go forgetting that anytime soon eh? Might be a good idea" Jackson smiled and turned and left. Once outside he frowned. "Never thought I could be so cocky" he muttered to himself. Now there was one more place he wanted to go before heading home.

….

Aaron woke up and was aware of someone sat beside the bed. His back was facing them. He sighed. "I told them I don't want any visitors"

"Aaron, I-it's me Mark…"

Aaron frowned and quickly turned onto his back and looked at him.

"Had to beg for them to let me in"

Aaron nodded. "Who hit you?"

"As if you need to ask" Mark smiled.

"Ahh Jackson"

"Jackson indeed; he's a force to be reckoned with"

"Yeah I know"

"Listen I…well Jackson told me…I wish you'd talked to me…"

"What? When we were fucking?"

Mark bowed his head, he quickly realised that maybe that's all there relationship was about, the sex, however unintentional it was.

"I'm sorry that wasn't fair"

"Nah you're alright" Mark smiled

"I-I've been thinking" Aaron began.

"Me too…"

"You first" Aaron told him.

"Well I've come to realise that despite my feelings, which I'll somehow have to get over, I-I can't get in between yours and Jackson's love" Mark shrugged. "I was wrong to do so in the first place but like you labelled me a go getter that's exactly what I' am…and I did have you, for a short time on the quiet" Mark smiled. "I'm not stupid either, you and Jackson are actually a great couple and I'm sorry for ruining that I hope I haven't?"

"This isn't just because of our fling"

"I know, Jackson told me…well…he didn't say what just that there were other things to do with what you did to yourself"

Aaron nodded. "I'm sorry, if this now makes you think I've used you, strung you along" he sighed. "I never meant to…" he wasn't going to get into the details of why the fling ended up happening, it was too much to go into. "But I will get better and when I do I'm going back to Jackson"

"You should" Mark told him with a smile but deep down his feelings wanted to be free, he was hiding them well. "But why are you refusing visitors if that's the case Aaron?"

"B-because I'm ashamed Mark, I'm ashamed of myself, I'm with Jackson and I slept with you behind his back, I've kicked off so much, so much that he didn't deserve any of it…same with my mum…" he sighed. "I beat my best mate to a pulp in a rage…him and Jackson found me in such a state where I was tied and ready to jump into the lake, with blood pouring from my stomach…then Jackson had the pain of bringing me back…and now you…I-I know you're just putting on a brave face, it's hurting you I can see but it's the best way, I do love Jackson"

Mark nodded. "I know you do and it is the right thing to do, I just hope you can forgive me?"

"For what? It takes two Mark…"

"Yeah…" his words trailed off.

"I've said some hateful stuff to people all in all Mark I hurt people, I have hurt people. Before I see anyone I have to learn not too and to forgive myself, only then will I let them see me again…c-could you if it's not too weird…give a message to Jackson…"

"Erm, yeah of course"

"Just tell him I need time and ask him if he remembers where we first met, if he does, then tell him so do I and I'll find that Aaron again" Aaron spoke calmly but the emotion of what he was saying showed, Mark didn't understand really but Aaron didn't expect him too.

"Got it" Mark said as he stood. "I'll go and find him, get well soon Aaron"

"Thank you"

Mark gave a small nod and walked out.

After trying Jackson's house and being told he wasn't there Mark hadn't a clue where to look, if he didn't tell him today, he'd make sure to find him again.

…

Jackson was sat on a stool in the smoky bar of the pub Aaron had went too with his mates, it was steady during the day but much quieter than the night time. He looked around trying to make sense of it…he wasn't used to this in his life, he'd never had it, a place for the community to meet, drink and be merry. He just wasn't accustomed to it. He picked up his pint and took a long drink and looked around again and realised that he kept forgetting this was Aaron's comfort zone. Yes a different country but a known environment to him, where the working class gather, because at heart Aaron was one of them, comfort that's all it had taken for Jackson to spy Aaron laughing so much that night. Sadness filled him, but at the same time he vowed to himself to consider Aaron for all of who he was and embrace those sides of him, when Aaron was well he would go back to that pub with him and have a drink, talk laugh and get drunk. Aaron tried in his world; he owed it to him to try in his.

When Jackson turned around Mark spoke. "Not your scene really is it?"

"Will be from now on"

"I see…so I visited"

"And?"

"And he's yours, Jackson"

Jackson nodded, he wasn't going to rub it in his face, he was better than that. "He told me to tell you he just needs time and to ask-"

"Ask me what?" Jackson asked quickly.

"Do you remember where you both first met?"

Jackson nodded. "Course I do" he smiled.

"Well he said so does he and that he'd find that Aaron again"

As if he's been hit in the chest, he felt winded, those words knocked the wind out of his sails, he blew out a deep breath, his eyes instantly glazed over and began to fill with tears.

Mark smiled. "H-he wanted you to know"

"Uh, thank you Mark…" he said with a frown as he got off his stool, he never thought he'd thank him for anything.

"You're welcome, make sure when he's okay to look after him?"

"Course I will" Jackson told him and then left the bar after a surprising turn of events with Mark and with a renowned sense of hope of having Aaron back in his arms.

* * *

**TBC…**


	37. Duet

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Duet"**

* * *

Two months had gone by without hearing from or seeing Aaron. It killed Jackson not seeing him but he was now beginning to realise how much he loved him; his love for him grew more each day. The last few months had brought bad, depressing days but some were okay, and either way each day went Jackson, Chas, Hazel and Adam simply had to get on with it. No day was happy or fulfilling and they knew why, a vital component was missing from their lives – Aaron.

Following the days of Aaron's admission to the psychiatric ward, Chas and Jackson fought and still did on occasion, Hazel had painted a picture of Aaron smiling which she took to the hospital and asked the nurses to give it to him, and they did happily. She did it in hopes of making Aaron remember who he was. She still didn't know to this day if it worked or was working but the fact that Aaron still wasn't home; well it wasn't boding well, yet she was still hopeful.

Jackson started drinking a little more, a sly one from the whisky or vodka bottle when he knew no one was looking and a sip at work too from a small bottle that he kept in the drawer of his desk. He was by no means an alcoholic; he just liked the comfort of it being there.

Adam was deeply affected and it showed to those around who loved him, he had become a part of the family and it saddened them, over the weeks Adam slowly adjusted to his life without Aaron. Although one night in the days following Aaron not being around, he did something that he now regretted and if Aaron found out, he wouldn't be pleased in the slightest.

…

It was a warm day; the sun was shining in a cerulean sky. Children played around the neighbourhood with their friends, it was a Saturday afternoon. Aaron smirked as he watched them, then slowly as he flung his bag over his shoulder he turned back and looked up at the house. This was one of the moments the doctor had spoken in depth with him about and he remembered that he should not feel like an outsider he couldn't help that a tiny part of him did as he started walking up the front path. Questions that he was told not to think of entered his mind, am I welcome? Do they want me? Should I just go? If they didn't he wasn't human. The circumstances and events leading up to him having to be away for a while were horrific, he had yet another scar, this time on his stomach from cutting himself with the knife he'd taken from Mark's home and while being recovered he would never forget what he did, what was said or anything surrounding those final dark days but he was at ease now, he had forgiven himself and now he was returning home.

Aaron stopped at the door and frowned. "Do I knock?" he muttered, then with the shake of his head he pushed the handle down and opened the door and stepped inside, he could hear music playing but other than that the house was quiet, as he closed the door a draft was felt, he pouted the back door must be open he thought to himself. No one knew he was out of hospital so he hoped he could surprise people like he wanted. Aaron walked through to the kitchen, seeing the back door open leading to the garden; he quietly placed his bag down and sneaked to the window to see who was out there.

His heart thumped at the sight of Jackson sitting topless on a sun lounger, tears filled his eyes quickly, he'd missed him so much but what was done was necessary. He hoped, just hoped the music playing outside kept his approach quiet. Aaron took a deep breath and walked to the door then stepped out into the garden. He crept up behind the lounger and quickly placed his hands over Jackson's eyes quickly. Jackson jumped slightly; Chas and Adam weren't meant to be back for hours.

_Do I assume? Do I just do-st-stop! _He argued mentally with himself. _Just… _he let out a deep breath _…do it… _

Jackson frowned. "W-Who is it? Adam you're so not funny"

Aaron smirked as he leaned down and passionately kissed him on the side of his neck in the spot where Jackson loved being kissed. "I don't think Adam would do that somehow do you?"

Jackson's eyes widened and he scrambled out of the lounger and turned to face Aaron. "Oh w-wow…oh my god, Aaron, Aaron you're here!"

Aaron nodded with a smile.

Jackson just stared in awe, he hadn't changed majorly, he may have bulked up a little, with nothing else to do there, he must have resorted to some kind of fitness. He looked good, better than good, damn right sexy, not that he didn't before but a bit of working out had done wonders for him, but despite that; he looked just like the young man he had met six months ago. Suddenly emotions came into play and Jackson's breathing hitched as the sobbing began. "Y-" he pointed. "You're here" he told him as he put his hands over his mouth.

"I-Is that okay, Jackson?" Aaron asked him.

Through his sobs all Jackson could do was nod repeatedly, giving Aaron his answer.

Aaron stepped forward and wrapped his hands around Jackson's warm smooth skin; he tightened his arms around him he'd missed him so much there were no words to explain.

Jackson hugged back just as tightly and cried on his shoulder. Aaron soothed him and when he was calmer they both sat down on the grass, there was no room for two on the lounger and Aaron wasn't fussed in getting another out, he had to talk.

Jackson shook his head as he wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry; it feels like it's been forever…" he blew out a deep breath. "I'm alright now"

Aaron smiled. "I-I know you let me hug you so I'm assuming you want me, despite knowing it all now? The doctor said it was best to get things discussed as soon as I could"

"Aaron" Jackson reached out and held both of his hands. "Do you know how much I've missed you? I've wanted you every second of every day through the past two months, there's been a massive hole in my life and my heart because you weren't here"

Aaron nodded in understanding.

"And yes I do know everything now and it doesn't change anything, I'm still me, still the man who loves you…your affair with Mark well…" he smiled. "I'm over that now, and there's no bad feeling and there certainly shouldn't be any awkwardness between me and you Aaron, it's dealt with and been put to bed"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Same here, but I do want to say how so sorry I am for sleeping with someone else…" he pulled a hand out of Jackson's then cupped his face. "It didn't mean anything" he told him honestly and Jackson could really see it in his eyes. His hand slid down Jackson's face and he held it against Jackson's chest, feeling him for a second.

"I know it didn't" Jackson replied and looked down at Aaron's hand on his body. He smiled. "You never left it" he told him, and when he saw confusion in Aaron he reiterated. "My heart, not for a second"

Tears fell from Aaron's eyes now and he nodded with a massive smile on his face. "Do you understand why I made the choice I did? In the hospital"

"At first, I'll be honest I didn't and I was angry I couldn't bear the thought of you being alone, your mum and I clashed over that but we were okay and in time I did understand Aaron and I still do, was it the right decision?"

Aaron smiled warmly. "Yes, I'm better Jackson and like the doctor said, I won't forget what I've done, what I've said, the hurt but I've forgiven myself" Jackson understood. "And that's the important bit and now I'm home, with you…a-and I'm finding it a little strange to be honest…"

Jackson chuckled. "You'll get back into it all babe, you'll be fine, and I'm here and like I promised you I'm not going anywhere"

Aaron's face scrunched as he looked down at the grass as he started to cry again, and when Jackson lifted his chin up Aaron simply moved forward and hugged him tightly once again. "Y-Y…You were my rock while I was in there…I know I was mad and hating you at first but you got me through it" he sat up properly and with teary eyes he stared into Jackson's. "The thought of your beautiful eyes and that cheeky smile and the love you have for me got me through it, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry for everything" he cried out and Jackson pulled him close and soothed him.

"There was never anything to forgive, I understand it all Aaron, I'm just so glad you're home"

"I love you so much, I never stopped" Aaron told him.

Emotionally all of this was hard for both of them but they both knew that when the time came of him returning a talk like this would happen. "I love you too" Jackson smiled.

Aaron nodded as he blinked away tears. "I know I've had too many chances but I'm asking…" he chuckled. "…again for the third, fourth however many chances I've had…Can we start again?"

"Of course we can" he told him as he laughed.

Aaron nodded and calmed down, that all needed to be done. He was back with his boyfriend now, he didn't want to be apart from him again. "How is everyone?"

"Oh yeah, they're good…your mum got a job, Adam's doing well…stays here most nights actually, we've looked after him"

Aaron gave a thankful look to Jackson, Adam meant the world to him, and he hated wondering if he was alone.

"He's like a part of the family now actually..."

"I'm glad…so my mums gotten a job? Doing what exactly?"

"She works in town in a clothes store it's not much but she really does do her bit around here and my mum's fine too"

"Ah yeah you're mum, I need to thank her actually…"

"Why?" Jackson frowned.

"She didn't tell you?"

"No"

"She painted me…a happy me and asked the nurses to give it to me early on…it helped, brought it back actually"

"Wow! That women never ceases to surprise does she?"

Aaron laughed. "No…I thought the same when the nurse told me who it was from…So everyone's good any gossip I've missed?"

There was but hell would have to freeze over before Jackson blabbed, he couldn't tell him. "Nah not really, pretty boring…you haven't missed much"

"Figured"

"Anyway" Jackson reached out and squeezed his biceps. "Look at you eh? Hot stuff"

Aaron blushed. "I got bored in there"

"Figured" Jackson repeated Aaron's reply with a smirk. "Well you look amazing Aaron, you really do"

"Ah come on, you sat there like that compared to me…god Jackson…I've missed your body" he sighed.

"Hey you, your body is perfect…I love it don't I?"

"Yeah"

"Well then" Jackson grinned.

"So I'm right to assume everyone will be alright with me then?"

"Correct"

"Good, I have to talk with my mum too"

"I'll give you some time later or tonight, whenever you want but they won't be back for hours yet"

"That's fine, actually it's worked out good, this way I've been able to talk to you and spend time with you in private before they get the surprise"

Jackson smiled. "What do you wanna do? Anything, anything you want

"Right now…I-…I just want to talk to you, I know that sounds silly coming from me but we never really did before, not properly anyway and I want us to start as we mean to go on, you're my boyfriend Jackson and I love ya…there's still so much to know, to talk about, so yeah…I'd happily sit or lie comfy with you and just talk, about anything"

Jackson was impressed and he couldn't take his eyes off him. "One last question…wanna stay out here or go inside?"

"Inside…if you catch any more rays I'll start getting jealous, can't be having that" Aaron told him and stood up, holding his hand out for him to take. Jackson chuckled as he was pulled up by his man. He just loved it!

Once inside Aaron told Jackson he'd be back in a second, and that he was taking his back upstairs. Jackson waited until he was up there and followed him. Once there he closed the bedroom door behind him and Aaron looked at him as he unpacked the bag. Jackson smiled and approached him, placing his hands on Aaron's waist he turned him around to face him. He planted a soft kiss on his forehead whilst moving his hands round to Aaron's back then as he kissed Aaron's lips he slowly lowered him slowly down onto the bed.

Their kiss was rough, raw, long awaited but yet still passionate as their hand explored their bodies, and that was all they did. Once there kiss ended they lay on their bed. Aaron lay being held in Jackson's arms as he rested his head on his bare chest. "This is perfect"

"It really is" Jackson replied as he ran his fingers up and down Aaron's back. "Are you still on medication?"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah but it's a very low dosage and I only take it before bed"

"Ah that's not so bad"

"No, it isn't" his voice was quiet as was Jackson's, they were both so comfortable. "When I look at you Jackson, I-I see perfection, an amazing man with a big heart. I see my future, I see us growing old and I know I'm young, we both are but that's what I want, for you to be by my side always, you truly are my soul mate and I'm so blessed to know you, to have you, you…you know me, you love me despite stuff, but importantly you know _how _to love me and I don't have to tell you. I realised I loved you but I didn't love you like you deserved to be loved but that, from today is going to change" he turned his head up to look him in the eyes, he was teary and Aaron wiped them away with his hand. "How did you find me, Jackson?"

"I found you on a bad day, you smiled up at me…y-you were just there…you stood out from everyone else. Aaron I have no regrets, I won't ever have any, I'm just grateful for you, for your own love, and like I said I'm not going anywhere, me and you we're for keeps and I'm going to look after you, because when" he frowned as he thought back to it, it wasn't nice. "I was giving you CPR after me and Adam got you out of the lake, I've never felt a physical pain quite like it, it hurt like hell, imagining my life without you"

"Well that's not going to happen for a long, long time. I mean it. I'm sorry I put you through that…t-this is gunna be strange cause when things crop up, I'll start apologising all over again"

Jackson chuckled. "Well don't because I know you're sorry, but there's nothing to forgive, like I said"

"Thank you" Aaron said in a whisper as he rested his head back down on Jackson's chest and absent minded, he ran his fingers up and down over his defined stomach muscles. "You cold?"

Jackson shook his head. "No"

"Good" Aaron said as he turned to face him and put his arm around him and hugged him and they remained there both lying comfortably on their bed in each other's arms.

* * *

**TBC…**


	38. Home, Once Again

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Home, Once Again"**

* * *

Later in the day Aaron was having a shower after he and Jackson shared a nap in each other's arms. He could smell the cooking lasagne from upstairs, it smelt amazing – his favourite too.

Jackson was in the kitchen setting the table as he waited for the others to arrive, he'd rang his mum and Adam to tell them he was cooking and he insisted that they be there. Minutes later Chas barged in with a sigh, cursing under her breath, she was tired and very narky after a bad day at work. She hung her coat up and continued on to the kitchen. "Something smells good Jackson" she said as she looked at him and her brow rose slightly, overcome with a slight arousal. Jackson was stood in suit, if he wasn't gay well…she got carried away her thoughts. "A-And you're looking dapper yourself" she grinned. "If only you were straight"

Jackson laughed as he handed her a glass of wine. "Thanks thought I'd make an effort for a change, first real dinner party sort of thing, invited mum and Adam too"

Chas sighed and looked down into her wine. "Shame Aaron can't be here eh? His favourite aswell by the smell of it" she paused and looked back at Jackson. "Soon though, I hope"

Jackson grinned as she had a drink of wine; she placed it down on the table. "Right well, I'll go and get myself changed"

Jackson nodded and continued laying the table as she walked off, he set it for five people, the cutlery was brand new, never been used and so were the wine glasses and plates. He was going all out. Half an hour later Chas walked back downstairs in a red dress, which she had gotten from work she was completely unaware that her son was upstairs at the time getting ready aswell.

Adam strolled happily through the front door next. "Wow smells good, I could eat for England, I'm starving!" he calls to them as he walked to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks as he glanced at Chas sat in her red dress then bit his lip and pulled his eyes away.

"You're always starving!" Jackson told him.

"Yeah well, growing lad and all that…so y-you two are dressed up a bit am I missing something?" he asked with a frown.

"Nah just a little bit of dinner that's all" Jackson told him as he handed him a glass of wine.

As Adam took it Hazel walked in, in a flap. "I can't believe this!" she growled angrily as she removed her now black jacket, it was cream when she left the house.

Jackson walked along the hall and saw the state of her, he stopped himself from laughing. "Um, what happened?"

"Some flaming numbskull drove right into a puddle and muggins here got a shower!" Hazel explained and Adam burst into laughter in the kitchen, which prompted Jackson to start smiling. Hazel glared at her son as she marched along to the kitchen. "I could hear you sonny!" she warned. Jackson followed and swung the kitchen door closed slightly as he walked through.

"Uh yeah, course sorry, terrible that…you look nice though" Adam told her.

"Yeah, my new jacket is ruined though!" she complained as she sat down at the table while Jackson checked over the food.

"Right are you all sat?" Jackson asked and looked over his shoulder. "Good, it's ready" he told them as he grabbed the t-towel that was hiding the fifth place on the table.

Adam was the first to notice and he frowned to himself. "Five…" he said quietly. "Five places Jackson"

Jackson turned around to them as he dished out the food.

"T-There's only four of u-" Adam was stopped in his tracks when he saw the kitchen door swinging open in the corner of his eye. "Oh my god" he breathed as he stared at Aaron in the doorway, he had a massive grin on his face, mirroring Jackson's as he watched on, he'd had his reunion it was time for theirs.

Chas leapt up from her chair and literally screamed. "OH MY GOD!" as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed.

"Hi mum" he spoke with a smile as he hugged her back.

Chas pulled away but kept her hands on his shoulders. She was ecstatic. "Ahh let me look at you" she said with tears in her eyes.

"I'm fine" he reassured her. "The Aaron you know is back…not that stranger"

"Oh love I'm so happy you're home"

"Me too you alright?"

Chas nodded as she wiped her tears away, she didn't want her mascara to run. "Never better love, go on…" she stepped back and sat down again.

Adam stood up and held out his hand to Aaron with a smile. Aaron grinned back, nodding at him and took his hand firmly and pulled him into him and they both hugged. "Missed you mate" Adam told him.

Aaron pulled back. "I've missed you too, you alright?"

"Yeah I'm good, things just got so much better now"

Aaron nodded and Adam sat back down next to Chas. Aaron walked over to Hazel and hugged her. "Hi Hazel"

"Hiya love, glad to have you back"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Thank you"

Hazel nodded, she understood.

Aaron walked around the table, squeezing Jackson's shoulder as he slipped into the chair between him and his mum. "Nice surprise then?"

"Oh yes" Chas told him as she placed her hand on his head and stroked his hair softly.

"So yeah I'm back now and I wanna take this chance to apologise to all of you, but I will speak to you all individually after dinner, something the doctor suggested I do…me and Jackson have talked…had an amazing afternoon together didn't we?" he asked with a smile.

Jackson took his hand and held it. "We certainly did"

"I think we all would have wanted to talk to you privately anyway love" Chas smiled. "Things need to be said to clear certain things up" she had wanted this for so long, she was going to tell him everything he needed to hear, so there would be no more doubting on his part. Chas loved her son and she was going to show it.

Aaron nodded then nudged Jackson. "Where's this food then?"

Jackson smirked as he got up. "Got distracted, sorry" he chuckled.

…

After their meal, Jackson, Hazel and Adam were enjoying their drinks in the lounge while Chas and Aaron washed up, well she washed he dried. "Everyone's in there love, want that chat now?" she asked softly as she tilted her head in his direction.

Aaron nodded. "Ok here goes. I did a horrible thing, taking someone's life I mean it's one of the worst things anyone can do but the fact you loved him makes…made it all the more worse…" Aaron chuckled slightly at his correction. "Doctor said I've got to remember it's the past and not to talk like it's now"

Chas smiled at him. "You don't have to answer this son, but that night, what made you snap? How did Carl push you to a point that up to now has been of no return?"

Aaron sighed and looked down into the soapy water in the sink. "My nineteenth, the party in the pub you planned for me…" Chas nodded "…I went out for a smoke and he was walking up to the pub, stopped and he started saying the same old stuff, you're sick, ill, disgusting, I just rolled my eyes and ignored him like I had done for months, then he changed his mind about going into the pub because it was my do he didn't want nothing to do with it and he walked away"

"And you followed him?" she asked quietly.

Aaron nodded and swallowed hard. "I started shouting at him asking why it was an issue, it's the same as a man and woman, he laughed so I told him it made no difference to him that I liked men, I-I don't even know how he found out…suppose I'll never know but he did and it all started to escalate, my anger it just built and I ran to catch him up just as he was walking up his driveway, I grabbed him and he grabbed me by the neck, I remember yelling why do you hate me so much he laughed in my face and tightened his grip…he told me that someone like me, someone so nasty, evil, perverted, disgusting and sick shouldn't have come from an amazing woman like you" he closed his eyes and sighed. Chas moved to put her arm around him but he stepped away and held out his hand, he needed a minute.

"I lashed out, we ended up on the floor punching, kicking each other, he said men like me deserved to be burned alive and if that was me, on fire he wouldn't even spit on me if I was…I-I was raging mum, he was so nasty, his tone was evil mum you know how that sounded…he kept punching, he was hurting me, had me pinned down smack after smack to my face" he blew out a breath. "That's when I looked to my side and saw the brick…I grabbed it, screamed and whacked him…"

Tears ran down her face as she listened for the first time Aaron's full side to the story.

"T…that wasn't the end of it though…I got up and he was coming around…he started laughing, goading me some more and I whacked him again, I-I've never felt such anger in my life than I did that night…it was like I'd been possessed by evil, he was dead the second time…I-I dropped the brick and I ran and the rest of the story is what you know…"

Chas nodded. "I forgave you a long time ago, when you left for this country and I was all alone I realised how much of an impact you have on my life and I missed you, despite what you did, Carl always deserved everything he got, including his death by you. I never stopped loving you either so when I got this letter filled with a ticket and money from a man I didn't know, telling me he was your boyfriend and inviting me to come to see you I jumped at the chance Aaron, me coming here didn't need a second thought…you're not evil, you were just pushed way too far, I'd have probably done the same in your shoes. I love you with all of my heart Aaron and what I want to hear from you next is not sorry because I know you are, hell…you've paid enough for it, d-don't say anything if you don't want, just let me hold you"

Aaron let out a shaky breath and stepped closer and they both wrapped they're arms around each other. "I love you too"

Chas smiled. "I know you do, best finish this washing up eh? Then we can join the party, getting a bit rowdy in there eh?"

"Just how we like it" Aaron said with a smile as they turned their attention back to the dishes. "And how I certainly plan on being like with Jackson later…" he chuckled. Chas laughed and flung the towel at him again, she had never heard him speak like that to her but she didn't mind in the slightest.

Seconds later Adam came crashing in the kitchen drunk. "Can I borrow my mate for a second?"

Chas laughed. "Yes, go on then just got a few more bits then it's done"

"You sure?" Aaron asked.

Chas nodded with a huge smile. "Yes, go on"

Adam grinned and pulled open the back door quickly and grabbed Aaron and pushed him out. Aaron was confused. "Thought we could talk now" Adam told him. "Before we get too drunk and we forget tomorrow morning"

Aaron smiled. "Alright then, sitting down?" he asked him as they sat on the bench.

Adam sat down beside him and simply just looked at him. "So…you're alright then, like really alright?"

"I've got tablets but yeah I'm fine mate" he told him with a smile.

"Good" he smiled back. "When you left, it hit me hard you know?"

"And I left you cut and bruised…mate, I am so sorry for hurting you so badly, y-you have my word that it will never happen again"

Adam nodded "I just kept reminding myself that you had it worse"

Aaron shrugged. "Doesn't cancel out the way you felt though, I really missed you Adam"

"Oh trust me, I missed you too, and I'm glad you're well and back here with us, you belong here"

Aaron nodded with a smile. "And with Jackson"

"Especially with Jackson"

"Has he been okay?"

"Erm…" Adam nodded. "Yeah…well I've seen him sneak a drink from the bottle when he's thought no one was looking but don't worry though there's no danger of him being an alcoholic I just think it was his way ya know?"

Aaron nodded. "He didn't…" he began but stopped with a heavy sigh. "No, nah don't matter"

"No, go on"

"No because I shouldn't even be thinking about it"

"Did he? Did he what…sleep with so-?"

Aaron sighed and looked serious as he gave a nod.

"No, he just went to work, came home that was it, he never really left the house apart from that"

"I wouldn't blame him if he did, the last time I saw him I told him I hated him, and I'd not long before let someone who wasn't him have sex with me…"

"He loves you, he never stopped, he just wanted you back and now you are, you can be happy together"

Aaron smiled. "Why can't the rest of the world see things the way you guys do in our little world right here, you lot just accept who we are, that we have sex, hold hands, kiss and hug each other…"

"One day, in time"

"I-I had wanted to go for a walk and when Jackson asked me what I wanted to do earlier I told him that we'd just stay here because there was no chance of me keeping my hand away from his if we were out in public…and it's not fair"

"I know but in this garden, in that house you lads can do whatever you want together, no one from out there, over that fence is any the wiser and it will stay that way"

"I just wish people could see how much we love each other"

Adam smiled. "We can, it's all that matters"

Aaron smiled. "Go on get back in there"

"You not coming?"

Aaron shook his head. "No not yet, I just want to be by myself for a few minutes, going from being alone in silence most of the time to this…well it's a shock to the system"

"Understood, don't be long though right?"

Aaron nodded and Adam left him to it.

Chas frowned when Adam came back in alone. "Is he alright?"

"Yeah he just wants some time…y-yo…you didn't say anything to him did ya?"

Chas sighed and rolled her eyes. "As much as I hate keeping secrets Adam, no I didn't, we had other things to discuss first and to be honest for your sake and for HIS I think it's best we keep it that way don't you?" Chas asked sharply as she glared at him.

…

Late that night, Aaron was still outside and unbeknownst to him Hazel had gone home, Adam had crashed out on the sofa and Chas had gone up to bed. It had been a while since Jackson had seen him but he'd been assured that he was okay, now after the drinking had worn Adam down and his mum had gone home, Jackson went outside and found him sat staring up at the stars. He smiled as he sat beside him. "You missed a good night"

Aaron looked at Jackson. "Oh I-I'm sorry I just-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain to me…it's weird after all that time away I get it, I do babe"

"Thank you"

"My mum said that the thank you, you said to her was the icing on the cake for her, she was emotional when she told me that, she said that just to know she helped you in some way was a great feeling, and she told me to tell you to take your time adjusting and that we're all here for you, and we are"

Aaron nodded and then began to chuckle. "Six months ago on Titanic could you have imagined her talking about me like that?"

Jackson let out a laugh and shook his head. "Not a chance, but I'm so pleased she does now"

Aaron nodded. "Me too"

"When you were in hospital I remembered something, something very important"

"What was it babe?" Aaron wondered.

"Do you remember when we were sitting on the debris, you were in front of me and I had my arms around you, you were in bad shape"

"I'll never forget that"

Jackson nodded. "And I said to you that we could declare it between ourselves…be our secret"

Aaron smiled. "I remember, like a married type of thing"

Jackson nodded and he pulled out an untied necklace from his pocket and a ring. And let Aaron see them.

"Wow…Jackson" he gasped.

"I-I know we can't do anything like it but, the secret and declaring it between ourselves…we could…a-and I'm not suggesting a marriage type vow just, I want to give you this ring to keep close to your heart so that you'll always know how much I love you" he told him as he placed the necklace through the ring and moved to put it round Aaron's neck and clipped it together.

"I-I don't know what to say" Aaron was stunned, emotional and so completely in love.

Jackson smiled. "You don't have to say anything" he told him as he took hold of his hand.

Aaron held the ring in his palm and looked at it. An engraving on the inside read _A&J April 10__th__ 1912 – _It brought tears to his eyes. "I never want that last date to be added anytime soon"

Jackson was crying too and pulled him close and held on tight. "It won't be" he told as he kissed his forehead.

"I love you so much, thank you"

"You're welcome, I love you too" Jackson replied. "You ready for bed?"

"Hmm…yeah…I hope you're not tired Walsh"

"Me? No, I'm never tired when you have bedroom plans"

"And who said I did?" Aaron asked as they walked back into the house.

"You did, the cheeky glint in your eye and the smirk on your lips when you said that, see…I know you Aaron, you were being very suggestive and I do hope you follow that through when we get to the bedroom"

Aaron chuckled and stood against Jackson and whispered; his voice husky through his arousal "Well you lock up down here, give me a couple of minutes and you'll see how I put that suggestion into action…" Aaron slowly turned and walked along the hallway, once at the stairs he stopped and turned to Jackson and simply winked.

Jackson chuckled and bit his lip as he watched his boyfriend saunter up the stairs to the bedroom. He still couldn't believe his luck, Aaron was perfect. He shook himself from his daze of Aaron and quickly ran to both doors and locked them then walked upstairs. Everything was so perfect and it was about to get a hell of a lot better as he pushed open the bedroom door, Jackson walked in and closed it behind him…his man had been waiting…

* * *

**TBC…**


	39. The Roll Of The Dice

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"The Roll Of The Dice"**

* * *

A few weeks had passed since Aaron's return home and he'd quickly headed out in search for a job. He came across a motor servicing garage, he sparked up a conversation with who at the time he didn't realise was the owner, and he told him he did have some experience but he was willing to learn and do anything. He said all he needed too short of begging.

"Well you're asking the right man, I own this place, Dan Harman" he told him and held out his hand. Aaron took it and shook his hand firmly. "Good to meet you, Aaron Livesy"

Dan nodded. "Come back on Monday, 9am and we'll see what you can do and from that we can work on other things that you need to learn"

"Wow, cheers mate, I appreciate it" Aaron was overjoyed and grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"See you Monday then"

Aaron had now been there a full week; well he will have been when he headed out for work. He was upstairs getting ready while Jackson caught Chas on her way out to work herself.

"Oh Chas!" Jackson called to her as he walked quickly to catch her up.

Chas turned to face him as she stood outside. "What's up love?"

"Okay well there's no easy way to ask this but I've seen certain things, heard him sneaking into your room when he's stayed over so…are you with Adam?"

Chas blushed and looked away. "Alright you got me…yeah, we're together I suppose, hasn't been said but we get on, he's good looking, we've done the deed…I-I think after that night when we sought comfort in each other there was something, yeah awkward for a while but lately we got over it"

"Obviously" Jackson smirked. "I'm just asking because Aaron should know, he might be alright with it he might not, but its best he doesn't barge in to something he doesn't want to see, and he's been back a few weeks, he's settled in now, got a job, so I think you should"

Chas smiled and nodded. "Me and Adam will tell him after I get home…well if he's able to get out of bed"

"Ugh, Chas…"

"Oh n-no, not like that, he's not feeling so well today, he said it's just started but I think he's been trying to hide it…men eh?"

"I'll check in on him when Aaron's gone to work, that way he won't know where Adam's been sleeping lately"

"Oh yeah" Chas groaned. "If he asks, he's already left, please?"

"Alright" Jackson nodded. "Have a good day"

"You too love"

Moments after closing the front door, Aaron came walking down the stairs. "Well hello there sexy all done up in your suit"

Jackson grinned sarcastically "I'm an office man now remember"

"And every time you say that you're tone gets that littler bit lower…what's wrong?" Aaron asked softly.

Jackson sighed and looked at himself in what he thought was a pathetic suit. "I miss the practical side"

"Okay, well you're the man, the big boss, fix that" Aaron grinned and walked over to him and kissed him passionately then started walking into the kitchen.

Jackson laughed. "And that's it?"

"Oh, erm no, I'm looking forward to our date night tonight" he told him as he turned and winked at him.

"Me too"

Aaron quickly grabbed his lunch from the fridge, pulled out a cigarette from his packet and put in his mouth, his box of matches in hand then walked back toward him.

"You light that in here Livesy and I will not be impressed" Jackson told him seriously.

Aaron scowled. "Does it look like I'm going to light it in here?"

"N-"

"Well then" Aaron rolled his eyes but smirked and past him to open the door. "Love you"

Jackson couldn't help but smile. "Love you too, have a good day"

"Yeah you too, and remember! Fix it!" Aaron called to him just before he closed the front door behind him.

With just him and Adam in the house Jackson headed up to check on him. He knocked on the door, waited a few seconds and entered. When he did he saw Adam sat on the edge of the bed in his underwear, cradling his head in his hands. "Hi mate, Chas said you're not feeling so good, anything I can do?"

Adam shook his head, it wasn't normal for him to be silent, that was a worry in itself.

"Tell me what's wrong?"

"Cough, fever and I'm knackered Jackson, absolutely knackered" his voice was hoarse probably from the cough he'd mentioned and he sounded drained.

"Want me to call a doctor?"

Adam shook his head. "No I'll be alright it'll pass I just have to rest, you mind if I stay here today?"

"No, not at all, although I think the girlfriend is expecting you up and about later you're both going to tell Aaron"

Adam finally looked up at Jackson and it made him grimace, he was so pale and soaked in sweat. "Is she serious?"

"Yeah, he needs to know mate, he can't find out any other way"

"Yeah you're right, I'll get myself pulled round, don't worry" he attempted a smile and Jackson nodded.

"If you need anyone, call me at the office alright? I don't mind"

Adam nodded. "Cheers mate"

"Right I'll see you later then, get some rest" he told him before leaving the bedroom.

….

Lunchtime came and Aaron was in desperate need of a pint. His work and training was coming along well, he just needed a break from the mind baffling techniques that were bombarded upon him for fixing whatever it was at the time. The land lady who he knew well now from his mining days and now this job pulled his usual pint and handed it over without him needing to order, he smiled and handed over the cash and walked over to a table and sat down.

Minutes later Mark walked in and Aaron saw him straight away, mining lunch plans hadn't changed. Aaron turned his attention to the beer mat and fiddled with it but in his peripheral vision someone stood in front of his table, it didn't take a genius to know who it was. Aaron looked up and was met by a shy smile from Mark.

"Alright?" Mark asked.

Aaron nodded. "Uh yeah, yeah not bad you?"

"Yeah I'm good" he replied, the awkwardness was clear. "So mechanics gear then? Is there anything you can't do?" he chuckled.

"I can't build stuff, and I wouldn't have the patience for an office so..."

"I see" Mark smiled. "Mind if I join you?"

"Erm…" Aaron frowned. "I think it's best if you don't eh? Considering…"

"Ahh" Mark sounded as he nodded. "Yeah, course…I just thought we could be mates"

"Yeah we can but it needs a bit more time"

"I understand"

Aaron downed his pint and stood up. "I- I better go" he told him and squeezed between the chair and Mark, awkwardly they looked at each other in the eye, their connection was still there.

Mark quickly placed his hand on Aaron's chest to stop him. "W-Wait Aaron just wait…"

"Why?" he asked harshly as he looked down at his hand touching him. Mark quickly removed it.

"Is this the way it's going to be then?"

"I just said, more time is needed that's all then I'm sure we can be mates like before the affair…I-I'm better Mark I don't need anything fucking things up for me, I'm still on tablets alright…it's a dangerous game this mental health, a-anything can send you back to square one and I can't risk it alright?"

Mark nodded and stepped back to allow him past. "Alright, I'm sorry, see you soon though yeah?"

"Yeah, sure…see you around Mark" Aaron told him and quickly left the bar.

….

Jackson walked back into his office after conducting a walk around of the facility, checking off health and safety statements as he did so. He filed them away and sat at the desk but he was interrupted almost immediately by a knock on his door. "Yeah!" he called and his assistant walked in.

"Jackson there's a woman here to see you regarding a build"

"Any of ours?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No"

"Well then I'm not interested Dave" Jackson told him.

"I'm sorry Jackson but she's really insistent"

Jackson sighed and nodded. "Alright show her in"

"Erm, one more thing, this won't be the usual meeting you're accustomed too"

"How come?"

"You'll see"

"Oh great, I dread to think!" he told him as he sat back in his chair and rubbed his face tiredly. When his hands moved past his eyes, he sat forward quickly, absolutely stunned.

"You look exhausted Jackson" Samantha said with a smile as she stood holding a baby in her arms.

Jackson frowned. "You have _got _to be kidding me" he rested his hands on his desk, he felt like he was going to faint.

"No, actually…L-look I know this is a shock and I had to come up with some story before they let me in here…It took me ages to find you…y-you must know that I didn't tell you because I didn't know myself, not until we'd gone our separate ways"

Silence passed between them for a few seconds. "He's your son, Jackson…his names Jak...spelt slightly different but sounds the same…" she explained as she watched him. "It's a shock, I-I know…"

"A shock!" he began to laugh and he walked over to the window and began to pace in front of it. "Yeah, yeah you could say that, I imagine your father wasn't too impressed, a baby out of wedlock and all that"

Samantha shook her head. "No, he's come around now though…he finally realised things just happen in life regardless of tradition…" she rolled her eyes.

"He's not too happy with me is he?"

"Oh I wouldn't go there actually; he's about ready to tear you to pieces"

"Nice to know" Jackson said sarcastically. What the hell was he going to do? What would Aaron say? He dreaded his reaction.

"D-Do you want to hold him?"

Jackson shook his head. "N-N-No…No…I just need time to digest this, you come here after all this time, after what I thought was a final goodbye, and you're holding a new born…y-yo…" he sighed. "Ours…how do you expect me to react?"

"Well embrace it for one, hold him and get to know him…he's really good, sleeps well…"

Jackson nodded "Why are you here? Really?"

"I was hoping I'd ask this after we'd had a chance to talk but I don't have time, I need your help, My dad's away on a business trip for a while and I'm due to head off in a few hours but I have a ton of things to do before then…I'm meeting up with him to help secure a new deal for the business…I-it's important and I can't take Jak with me, he's too young"

"And your father approves this does he?"

"He doesn't need too, you're Jak's father I don't need his permission when it comes to our son"

Jackson nodded. "And you realise I have no idea what the hell I'm doing when it comes to babies don't you?"

"You have your mum for help" she smiled. "And I'm sure Aaron will help"

"He'll be worse" he sighed. "…I'm dreading telling him about that little man…"

"Well if he loves you Jackson there shouldn't be a problem"

"Yeah but still, me and him are a gay couple, children don't exactly come into the mix…I wasn't ready when you asked me about it all those months ago remember? For obvious reasons you now know of"

"And I really had no idea I was pregnant Jackson you have to believe me"

"I do, I do" he sighed.

"You can do this Jackson; he's your flesh and blood…"

Jackson nodded. "Alright then, don't think I've got much of a choice have I?" he said as he stepped forward and held out his arms.

Sam began to pass her six week old son to him. "Watch his head alright, all of his stuff is with reception, instructions, food, clothes, diapers, lists everything…you'll be fine"

Jackson quickly nodded as he adjusted his son in his arms. It was an amazing, totally life affirming experience. He stared down at his big brown eyes, tiny hands and tufts of dark hair.

"See…you're doing great…mummy loves you Jak, this is your dad" Sam spoke to her son with tears in her eyes. "Be good for him"

"H-How long?" Jackson asked.

"I'm not sure yet Jackson" she replied as she stepped away, upset at leaving her child. She left quickly. Jackson sighed, walked and opened his door then whistled for Dave. He quickly walked up to him. "Yes boss?"

"This is all complicated alright…b-but that woman was going to be my wife a long time ago, she was pregnant, I didn't know…"

"Ahh…hence"

"Yeah, so…I-I'm looking after him for a while, I need you to adjust my schedule for the time being"

"And by adjust you mean-?"

"Wipe it…yeah…that's what I meant, I can trust you to take care of things here, I'll be in touch and I'll be back once I've sorted out a babysitter"

"Not a problem, go sort out your family"

Jackson nodded as he walked back to his desk and grabbed his car keys and jacket.

"He does have your eyes" Dave smirked.

"Forgive me if I can't see that just yet…" he said in a rushed tone, he had to get home.

"Perfectly understandable, good luck"

"Yeah cheers" Jackson said as he marched off with his son in his arms, his jacket under his arm and his keys in his mouth.

…

Parked up outside the house Jackson looked into the back of the car where his son was strapped into a car seat, Samantha was well and truly prepared. "Right then…this is going to be your home for a while Jak" he smiled to himself. "Jak…nice touch eh?" in that second Jak began to cry. "Oh n-n-no no crying please…come on it's alright" he told him and got out of the car and quickly opened the back door and unstrapped him from the seat and took him in his arms. He walked to the boot and opened it, he took out the Moses basket and laid him down in it and picked it up. There was so much of his things in the back he'd have to get him settled then bring them all in. But first he needed help.

He walked up to the door and placed him down then stepped forward and opened it. "Chas! You home?"

Seconds later the clip clop of her shoes on the wooden floor could be heard and she came out of the lounge and looked at Jackson. "You okay?"

"Er, erm no…I-I need your help"

"Okay, now I'm worried, you Jackson never need help, what is it?"

"Has Aaron ever told you about Samantha?"

"Yeah he told me" she smiled. "Why?"

Jackson blew out a breath, literally panicking.

"Jackson?"

Jackson nodded and stepped aside.

Chas eyes widened. "Oh fuck" she then covered her mouth. "S-Sorry…"

"It's alright, my reaction was similar…"

"H-he's yours?"

Jackson nodded. "She came to the office today, needs me to look after him while she goes away…she didn't know she was pregnant until after we parted ways…so as you can imagine, I'm out of my depth, and I'm so scared of what Aaron's going to say"

"Hey…" she soothed as she put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry love, it will all be okay" she smiled. "You give him to me and you can bring his things in, I'm assuming she left them with you?"

Jackson nodded as he carefully handed the moses basket to her. "Yeah, I-I won't be long…" he rushed back along the front path out of the garden to the car. "H-His names Jak by the way!"

"Oohh well hello Jak" she smiled as she looked down at him, he was the double of his dad, and there was no mistaking who the father was.

Upstairs, Adam was worse than he was earlier and he was now bowled over the toilet vomiting badly. He gagged and more vomit ejected from him. It was painful and he clutched his chest in the process, his eyes were soaked with tears and were red from enduring this sudden sickness.

The sickness stopped but it left him exhausted; he rested his head on his forearm, which rested on the toilet seat and he took deep breaths, he experienced a few heart palpitations and then he felt light headed. He opened his eyes to ground himself, he breathed calmly and soon the dizziness disappeared. He gave himself a few minutes and pulled himself together, splashing water in his face and then went and got dressed, he wished he didn't have too, he was way too hot for clothes at the moment, he had been all day.

An hour later Aaron had finished work and as he opened the front door he had no idea of what was to come…

* * *

**TBC…**


	40. Fighting From Within

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Fighting From Within"**

* * *

Aaron walked into the house and closed the door behind him then removed his oily jacket and hung it up. "I'm homee!" he called out in song.

Jackson was sat on the edge of the sofa in the living room with Jak in his arms; his belongings were all piled, for the moment by the window. Jackson pulled a wary face as he heard Aaron was home. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

Aaron frowned when he got no reply so he made his way to the living room. "Hello?" he called out just as he walked into the living room.

Jackson swallowed hard and looked everywhere innocently expect at Aaron.

Aaron's frown deepened. "Hi babe want a drink?" he asked and without waiting for a reply he turned back and walked to the kitchen. As he was about to open the kitchen door he stopped himself, blinked then turned back and walked to the living room once again. "Okay, Wh…what is that?" he asked as he pointed at the baby.

Jackson slowly stood up and held Jak close to his chest as he did so. "Aaron, please listen don't be mad"

"Chas stop ear wigging!" Adam told her before coughing harshly.

"I can't help it!" she told him and remained with her ear up against the closed kitchen door.

Aaron's confusion was clear as Jackson cautiously moved toward Aaron whilst staring intently at him. "This is Jak, m-m…my son" he smiled warmly.

Aaron's eyes widened and he dropped down into the single chair with his hands covering his mouth.

"I-I never thought I'd say it…" Jackson muttered.

"I'm confused Jackson, how-"

Jackson sighed, cutting him off. "Samantha dropped into the office today and dropped this bombshell"

Aaron's eyes widened once again with a slight fear, after all his ex, had been to see him.

"I was shocked to Aaron, bu-but I can't turn my back on my son"

Aaron frown slowly took the form of a scowl, he was angry. "What makes you think it's even yours?" he bit back flippantly.

Jackson raised his eye brows "She might have been many things Aaron but she was no slapper"

Aaron sniggered "Don't you see Jackson? She still loves you, this is her way of trying to get you back, and she'll have heard how well the business is going Ja-"

"Stop Aaron! I'm not having you slag her off in front of" he motioned his head toward Jak.

Aaron stood up and began to pace around the room, and then looked properly at the amount of things Samantha had brought for her son. "So, when's she coming back for him? I wanna see her for myself"

Jackson sighed with a roll of his eyes. "That's the thing Aaron, I…I don't know when she'll be back, she's going on a business trip overseas, he's too young to go…so…"

Aaron suddenly began to laugh. "You can't be serious? So she has left her new born son with you and done a runner? This is flipping priceless this Jackson"

"Oi, she hasn't done a runner, it's a business trip, and it's ideal that I get to know my son"

Aaron smirked. "If you believe that then…"

"I thought you'd at least be happy for me Aaron, happy for us? Its good practice for one day when we can have a family"

Aaron chuckled as he ran his hands slowly over his face; frustration wouldn't even come close to how he was feeling at the moment. "Jackson."

"What?"

"That is never going to happen"

"W-Who kno-"

Aaron cut him off sharply. "Is a family what you want?"

Jackson looked down at Jak in his arms, a silence fell over them.

"Fucking hell, it is isn't it? I-I can't give you that" he told him as he slowly started walking to the doorway. "Maybe you should go with her if that's what you want!" He yelled

"Aaron you're being ridiculous!"

"No! Jackson you are to even think I'm capable of coping with this!" he growled as he stormed out of the room and ran up the stairs.

Instantly Chas burst out of the kitchen and ran along to the living room. "You ok Jackson?" she asked as she could see that his eyes were full with tears. "I'll have words, you stay with Jak" she told him then went upstairs.

Despite how terribly ill he felt, Adam sighed and got up from his chair at the dining table in the kitchen and sought out Jackson; his friends needed him more. He was sweating and pale with big dark bags under his eyes. Adam stood in the doorway, he didn't want to get too close, he was ill and with a new-born in the house it wasn't safe. "How did you expect him to react, Jackson?" Adam asked quietly.

"Well I knew he would be confused but mad like that…h-he could have at least understood"

"He might…"

"And he might not, that's what I'm scared of" Jackson admitted with a sign.

"What? Nahh, he won't leave you"

Jackson simply flicked up his brow quickly and shrugged. "It's like he said, he's not able to cope with this"

"That's just an initial reaction"

"No, Adam he was sectioned he's better yeah but still recovering even now, it's not just an initial reaction…w-what the hell have I done?"

"You did what was right for your son Jackson, he needs looking after…and while I've been stood here he's just lying there looking up at you"

Jackson scoffed. "Yeah cause he doesn't know who the hell I am"

"No, it's because he knows exactly who you are…A-Aaron will adjust"

"He shouldn't have too; it's not fair on him it's all he's done for months"

"Well…he'll have too again, won't he?"

"Adam, mate sorry if this is harsh but you look terrible"

"I feel it too…"

"I can call the doctor?"

Adam shook his head again which confused Jackson, why was he so persistent?

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine" he smiled slightly. "I'll be in the kitchen" Adam told him and walked off.

…

"Aaron!" Chas raised her voice. "Will you stop pacing and talk to me!"

In a rage Aaron swiped his arm across Jackson's desk which startled Chas and everything crashed to the floor. He sighed and held his hands behind his head and clenched his jaw while he stood intentionally with his back towards his mum. He closed his eyes and attempted to calm down.

Seconds later he felt Chas' hand on his shoulder, it was placed down gently so he didn't react and he didn't. "Come on son, sit down on the bed with me and we'll talk"

Aaron turned and walked the few steps to the bed and sat on it with his legs crossed. Chas sat in front of him but enough space to give him room; she waited until he wanted to speak.

A minute or so later he did. "I-I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry" he told her quietly.

Chas smiled. "It's fine love, all easily put back"

Aaron nodded and finally looked up at his mum. "I love Jackson so much mum but I can't cope with that"

Chas nodded. "Because of your illness?"

Aaron blew out a breath. "I suppose…I'm still recovering…what I did to the stuff on that desk is seen differently when it's me but if it was someone who was 'fine' like you it would just be an outburst..."

Chas looked down sadly. "I-I'll admit you speak some truth there love…I-I panicked, I thought what if I couldn't stop you…"

"That's fine" Aaron nodded. "A-And what if I do that in front of his baby? What if I don't stop-"

"Hey, you can't think like that"

"Mum. I don't want this, it's plain and simple…I can't look after myself never mind help Jackson with his son" he sighed and put his head in his hands. "I can't, I can't" he told her then burst into tears.

"Heyy son, it's alright" she soothed. "How well do you think you're coming along? I know you take your medication but how do you feel?"

Aaron just shook his head as he cried.

"I need you to talk to me…"

Aaron shot a glance at his mum. "This everything!" Chas pulled back a little as he got angry. "That downstairs a-and Sam! She's gunna get her claws back in to him or not come back at all and leave him with Jackson!"

"What makes you say that?"

"Well I dunno if you've noticed but even I'm bright enough to know that's way too much stuff down there for a baby"

"Jackson did say he didn't know how long she was going to be"

"Convenient! Oh and then I realise he wants a family and you know me and him can't, a-and then tonight, the kid will be in here with us all cosy or so Jackson will think but I don't want it!"

"Aaron, Aaron…you need to calm down!"

"A-A-And he'll expect help won't he oh yeah, like I can change a fucking nappy! I can't even eat without spilling it down me…that egg sandwich the other morning, prime example right down my front!"

"AARON!" she yelled and shook him. She had no choice, Aaron's words just spilled out and he didn't intend on stopping, but overall it wasn't good for him and Chas knew that. It wasn't good for him at all.

Aaron gasped after Chas shook him and he stared at her. "I-Is it happening again?"

"No-"

Before she could reply Aaron got up off the bed and stormed to the door and onto the landing. She rolled her eyes and ran after him. "Aaron!"

"What's up?" Adam asked from the bottom of the stairs as he watched them both rushing down.

"He's gone off it…" she warned him as she followed Aaron to the kitchen. Adam followed too.

Aaron was rummaging quickly through the cupboards in search of his medication. He found them and he quickly unscrewed the cap and tipped out more than his recommended dosage into his palm.

Adam tightly grabbed Aaron's wrist. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I-it's happening again mate…I-I have to have some now and more…"

"Babe get J-" Adam stopped and his eyes widened as he realised what he'd said. He cursed himself silently.

Aaron's eyes narrowed at him. "What did you just say?" he asked then looked over at his mum who was looking extremely guilty.

"We…we were going to tell you mate tonight but the baby and…" Adam began but Aaron held his hand out for a second to stop him, and he suddenly became aware once again. He took his tablets but not all the ones in his hands just the recommended two and placed the rest back in the bottle. He grabbed a glass from the side and turned the tap on. Chas and Adam just watched, waiting for him to speak.

Aaron swallowed down his tablets and put the glass in the sink then turned to them both. "Going to tell me what?"

"T- That me and Adam are...we're together" Chas told him nervously.

"Oh…" Aaron said slowly with a nod of his head.

"We would have told you sooner but you'd just got home mate and we didn't want to unsettle anything…we sought comfort together a-after you were sectioned…that's how it started" Adam told him, he frowned though, he was struggling, and he began to take deep breaths and as he did so he pulled out a chair at the table and sat down.

"Adam?" Chas asked as she approached him quickly

"I-I'm alright"

"What's wrong?" Aaron asked as he stared at his mum kneeling down by his side and placing her arm around him.

"He's not well, refuses to go to the doctor" Chas told him.

"Well that's a bit stupid isn't it?" Aaron asked, his words hid his concern well.

"And so are you" Adam told him. "No offense mate but you just flipped completely and n-now you're normal…"

Aaron sighed. "Because I'm still a bit unstable, how pathetic does that sound eh?" he said sadly.

"It's not" Chas answered. "You're just getting all worked up which doesn't help it Aaron"

Aaron rubbed his forehead excessively. "Alright, alright…so…y-you two?"

"Yeah" Chas replied with a smile.

"And Adam's the reason why you're really happy lately?"

"I hope so" Adam chuckled to which Chas slapped his arm. "Yes son he is the reason"

Aaron nodded. "Alright…it's weird you've got to see it from my point…he's my best mate" Chas nodded. "But as long as you're happy, both of you…then alright, no issue with me…just a bit of a shock that…"

Adam couldn't get up from the chair, he was so dizzy but he gave him a thumbs up and a nod of acknowledgement. Aaron smiled and walked over to his mum and squeezed her shoulder as he continued out of the kitchen.

"You going to talk to Jackson?"

"No…" he turned back to her. "He would have heard all that commotion that I was causing, did he come and see if you, or I were okay? No he didn't because he's got his son now, which to be honest is how it's going to be from now on and yeah I'm probably being selfish but it's how I feel"

"Oh come on love" Chas pleaded.

"All I've known for a long time till you came here and Adam is Jackson, just him and that's fine we still got our time…no…now we won't…because _that_ kid is going to be his priority, I won't be, he won't have any time for me, so right now mum I'm going out, it's been a long day then all of this…I-I… I need to go out…I need to think, maybe get a bit drunk" he shrugged. "You've got Adam now too" Aaron smiled; he was actually pleased for them. "I don't fit; I need to find my place"

"Yeah you are being selfish" Chas told him.

"Well it's a good job I'm going out then isn't it?" he snapped at her and turned back round to see Jackson stood in the hallway, having heard everything.

"I did hear the commotion and I was worried Aaron but I couldn't leave him"

"Oh no but his mum could! Funny that Jackson!" Aaron started as he stormed down the hall but Jackson grabbed a hold of him and stopped him. Aaron rolled his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"You can't go out, you're still in a state and riled up…I can't let you leave"

Aaron snatched his arm back from Jackson's hand. "Watch me" he threatened and with that he pulled open the front door and stormed out, letting it slam behind him.

Jackson shook his head and looked helpless at Chas. "What else did he say then?"

"You want the quick version?"

Jackson nodded.

Chas took a deep breath. "He told me, he doesn't want it. To be honest love he's scared to death because he's still not right, he swiped your desk up there…he started asking what if he did it in front of the baby, completely lost it…he broke down into tears, he can barely look after himself Jackson"

Jackson nodded again. "I'm not asking him too though"

"I know that but he assumes because you're a couple that he'll have too and he can't, like he said look after himself and I think, well no I don't it was obvious right there, he's used to it being just the two of you and he's scared love…"

"What? T-this isn't going to be for long"

"Jackson" she sighed. "Aaron's right in what he told me and I've seen all Jak's things too…it's too much for even just not knowing how long, because you could buy things when they run out but all that, that's being well prepared"

"He said she's dumped him on me, something along those lines anyway…"

Chas nodded. "Think about it…how did she seem?"

"Rushed…erm…she didn't say I'll see you soon to him or nothing, she just said be good and left…nah…" he scoffed. "Nah, I refuse to believe this, she'll be back"

"Well if you're so sure" she shrugged.

"I am…what should I do about Aaron?"

"I hate to know he's out there in that state, but leave him…leave him for now…"

Jackson nodded and slowly retreated back into the living room.

…

Aaron bought a bottle of vodka from the store and simply walked the streets, swigging away occasionally. He sighed as it started to pour down with rain. "Just give me a BREAK!" he yelled and kicked an empty carton that was on the ground in front of him.

"Aaron?"

He heard the voice behind him and he closed his eyes, he shook his head ever so slightly and carried on walking.

"No, wait!"

Aaron heard him beginning to run to catch up. He ignored him and took a long swig of the drink.

Mark grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him. Aaron stood face to face with Mark in the pouring rain.

"Are you following me or something?" Aaron spat angrily.

"No" Mark frowned. "Course I'm not but when I saw you wandering the streets in the rain and then yelling at it, as you hold that bottle, kinda gets a man worried…"

Aaron scowled. "You don't have to worry about me, trust me you're well rid mate" he began to laugh as pulled himself away from Mark's grip and started walking away. "I'm nothing but yet another disaster waiting to happen!" he held up the bottle. "Cheers by the way"

Mark again ran to catch up to him. "Something happened at home Aaron?"

"Yes…No…J-Just life happened Mark, and I don't mean that in a I'm gunna kill myself way it's just things just keep coming at me and I can't take it" he explained as Mark was now walking to the side of him matching his own pace.

"Like?"

"I'm not telling you that!" Aaron spat before taking another drink.

Mark let out a heavy sigh. "When do you take your tablets Aaron?"

"Already had them I'll be fine"

"Oh for god sake" he groaned and moved to pull the bottle from his hands. He wasn't expecting a fight. Aaron fought back to keep it in his possession but Mark pulled harder. "You can't drink that when you're on medication!"

"So!" Aaron growled.

"No Aaron!" he shouted back but was struggling to get it off him.

Aaron raged and pulled away from Mark creating a gap of a few metres and in a split second Aaron flung the half full bottle to the ground causing it to smash. "THERE! YOU HAPPY NOW?"

"No" he replied quietly as he watched Aaron, he was in a bad way and for the first time he was seeing a glimpse of what Aaron could be like.

"STAY OUT OF MY FACE MARK! I SWEAR…I- I don't need you or your help!" he told him and stormed off, this time alone and in peace.

"YES YOU DO!" Mark shouted to him but Aaron ignored him and kept walking.

* * *

**TBC…**


	41. Run

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Run"**

* * *

A grandson. Hazel was shocked by the news initially but then quickly excitement overcame her and she told Jackson she'd be right there and put down the phone. Hazel had also been told of Aaron's reaction the previous night. It didn't really come as a shock but she was worried about him, they all were. Hazel left her home and started the walk to Jackson's house, a trip she'd made many times. It was a bright warm day, it was lovely and she enjoyed the walk more especially in good weather. The wetness on the ground from the previous night's rain was quickly drying.

Hazel strolled through the park, there were a lot of other people around and they knew her and said good morning, she replied happily and with a smile. Then as she saw him, she rolled her eyes and rushed to the bench where Aaron was lying on it asleep. She shook her head as she stopped and looked down at him. "Get up this instant young man!" she raised her voice.

Aaron groaned and covered his eyes from the sunlight.

"Aaron, what the hell are you thinking?"

He groaned again. "Go away Hazel"

"No. I most certainly will not" she told him harshly and quickly moved his legs out of the way which made him get up as she sat beside him.

Aaron begrudgingly had sat up but he was half asleep and with his elbows resting on his legs he put his head in his hands. "Why can't people just leave me alone eh?"

"Oh charming!"

"Well it's true Hazel"

"We only care about you, Jackson told me you hadn't come back but I certainly wasn't expecting to find you in the park"

Aaron shrugged. "Nowhere else to go"

"Well home would have been a good place"

Aaron shook his head. "I don't belong there anymore"

Hazel scoffed. "Don't be so silly"

"No, I won't…"

"And this is because of Jak?"

Aaron nodded. "And my mums got Adam now, I-I'm just there…a spare part for whenever Jackson will have time"

Hazel sighed.

"And the fact that I can't cope Hazel, it's too much"

Hazel nodded. "This may or may not come as a surprise Aaron but I understand where you're coming from"

"You do? Thought you'd be on Jackson's side"

"This isn't about sides Aaron, you're still recovering then this shock comes into our lives I wasn't surprised when Jackson told me what happened, I'm worried about you, and so is he…he loves you so much you know that don't you?"

"Yeah but…he's all I've known for a long time, I know it's selfish Hazel I do but I, I didn't think I'd have to share him"

Hazel understood perfectly. "Jackson is a loving, caring boy…he would never neglect you Aaron…it may be hard for a while with Jak…whether or not she doesn't come back or not, yes he told me about that too…"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "And what do you think to that?"

"If _she_ has then she's just let go of the best thing to have come into her a life, a child" she smiled. "But he is Jackson's gain, he can be a good father, and you well in a way you're his step father"

Aaron pulled his nose up at her statement. "In no way shape or form am I father material"

Hazel began to laugh. "Oh but you might just surprise yourself"

"No I doubt it"

Hazel chuckled once again. "Aaron regardless of your condition, you can be, anyone would be frightened"

"But actually adding in the fact of my condition are you not slightly a bit worried of me being around your grandson?"

Hazel sighed. "No"

Aaron scoffed and shook his head. "Yeah! Okay" he said with a roll of his eyes.

"It's the truth, you're a wonderful young man Aaron and you can overcome anything if you put your mind to it…the Tita-"

"No. Don't mention it alright…I-I don't want to talk about it"

"You never have been able to really have you?"

Aaron shook his head.

"Why?"

Aaron clasped his hands together and looked around the park. "It's still too raw…remembering it all hurts, I can't talk about it and if I ever do, it'll be a long time"

Hazel nodded. "I understand" she smiled at him and reached out and turned his head to face her. "Did you do anything stupid last night?"

"Apart from drinking vodka after I'd taken my medication, no…and don't Hazel" he continued after she sighed and shook her head. "I know alright, I'm one massive screw up"

"You're not your just young, and ill, what we going to do with you eh? In fact I won't let you answer that; god knows the replies I'll get"

Aaron stared down at the ground. "You're going to make me go back aren't you?"

"I'd like it if you did but I can't make you no"

"I don't see what good it would do" he told her quietly.

"Well it would give them all peace of mind that you're alright and secondly a talk with Jackson wouldn't go a miss Aaron"

"I don't want to talk to him"

"Alright but at least come back and you can get a bath, your clothes are damp from the rain…"

"And then I'm going out again" He told her as he stood up.

Hazel nodded, that could be dealt with at the time.

…

A screaming Jak could be heard as soon as Hazel opened the front door; she smiled and turned to make sure Aaron was still with her. She gave him a nod. "Come on, it's alright"

Aaron stepped inside and instantly Chas stormed along the hall from the kitchen. "YOU!" she screamed as she pointed at him.

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes as he tirade continued. "YOU HAD US ALL WORRIED SICK, we were all out of our minds!" She looked at Hazel. "Where was he?"

"Asleep in the park"

"Oh well isn't that just great!"

Aaron scowled. "Shut up, I'm going for a bath" he told her and marched up the stairs.

Jackson appeared in the hallway. "Aaron?!" he called up to him. Hazel just shook her head at Jackson.

"I don't want to talk to you Jackson" Aaron told him before he slammed the bathroom door.

"He does that a lot doesn't he? Slamming doors" Hazel said with a sigh.

"Yes, too often" Chas replied angrily.

"Don't be mad Chas he's just in a bad way that's all" Hazel advised.

"And you think I don't know that?"

"Alright ladies let's not start fighting now eh, there's too much going on at the minute without you too starting, mum…" he motioned his head to the living room and started to walk in with Hazel following.

Chas just stood in the hallway and listened as Hazel became emotional over meeting her grandson. Chas shook her head and walked back into the kitchen. "I better get to work babe, are you sure you're alright?" Chas asked Adam but it was clear he wasn't he was looking extremely ill and he was losing weight.

Adam nodded and managed a smile. "Yeah I'll be fine, you get yourself to work"

Chas smiled, hiding her worry. "See you later"

Adam nodded and watched her leave.

In the living room Hazel was holding Jak and insisted that Jackson go and speak to Aaron, he nodded and left her to it. When he walked into the hallway he caught sight of Adam in the hallway, he blew out a breath of frustration and walked to the kitchen. "Alright…mate enough is enough, I'm calling a doctor for you"

"No! Jackson, I don't want one"

"Tough" Jackson told him and turned to walk to the phone.

"No!" Adam told him.

Jackson stopped and walked back. "Why are you so adamant about this?"

Adam swallowed hard and averted Jackson's eyes. "Because…" he sighed. "I-I…I can't afford it alright"

Jackson sighed, the penny had dropped. "Ahh…you and Aaron are like two peas in a pod, you're so full of pride and stubbornness, I'm calling a doctor, we all love you mate this can't go on, it could be anything"

"Jackson I…I don't want charity"

Jackson smiled. "It's not…pay me back if you have too but if you don't well that's fine too"

"I'm paying you back" Adam spoke definitely.

Jackson nodded. "I'll call him now"

"Alright"

Jackson went off and made the call and a few minutes later he told Adam he'd be there within the hour. Adam thanked him and sat waiting in the kitchen, he'd never felt so bad in his life.

…

Jackson pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside. Aaron turned to see who it was, when he realised it was Jackson he turned his face. "Well…we've been here before" Jackson said quietly as he walked over and knelt down on the floor at the side of the bath. "Talk to me babe" he asked as he just stared at him as he lay in the steaming water.

"You already know how I feel Jackson"

Jackson nodded; it was true he did know. "Listen, I trust you completely around Jak, you will be fine, I trust you Aaron, I-I know it's another adjustment and I'm so sorry for that but there's nothing I can do, he's my son and he's an amazing little thing and I want you to be a part of it with me"

"I-I don't know Jackson"

Jackson sighed. "Please Aaron"

"Can you just leave me in peace please? I need to think and it's difficult when you're trying to sell all this to me"

Jackson frowned. "I love you Aaron but your words can be so nasty at times" he told him as he got up off the floor and stormed out.

…

Over an hour later Aaron sat at the bottom of the stairs waiting to see what the doctor had to say about Adam, they were in the kitchen alone. Minutes later the doctor emerged with Adam. Adam looked devastated. "W-What's wrong?" he asked as he jumped to his feet.

"Adam has active TB…tuberculosis…there doesn't seem to be anyone else suffering with it but I have to take him to a sanatorium until the time is right for him to return"

"A-A…a sanatorium, well what's that?"

"A medical facility Aaron, I'll be confined there in hopes that I recover"

"In hopes of!?" Aaron was out of his mind.

"Please I assure you this is the best course of action right now" the doctor told him.

"I-I'd hug you but you know…" Adam began, Aaron nodded. "W-Will you tell Chas what's happening and that the doctors will keep you all informed?"

Aaron nodded quickly; this was all happening so fast. "Y-yeah course I will…" he swallowed hard as the doctor and Adam walked to the front door. "T-take care of yourself mate yeah? I'll see you soon"

Adam gave Aaron a helpless smile, he was so scared and it showed. Before Aaron knew it he was gone and he sat back on the stairs, completely shocked by the turn of events.

…

Aaron watched Jackson from the top of the stairs as he left the house, no words or attempts to speak had been attempted by either of them since Aaron had his bath. He then watched as Hazel carried baby Jak through to the kitchen in his moses basket and he listened as she gave the baby a running commentary of what she was going to do, which was put the washing out on the line.

Aaron then walked downstairs quietly and walked into the kitchen, completely ignoring Jak in his moses basket. He frowned when he didn't see Hazel outside. Jak was gurgling the entire time he was stood looking out of the window and then he began to cry as he wriggled in the basket. Aaron sighed and turned to the basket and stepped closer and peaked over into it which instantly settled Jak.

With this the first time Aaron had really looked, he saw Jackson in Jak, he was adorable but he couldn't think about that, he couldn't let that draw him in he was scared to be around him. Aaron scowled down at him and Jak smiled, Aaron was sure he did. He chuckled to himself. "No you don't" he said and turned away but Jak started to cry again. Aaron sighed and turned back. "Don't do this!" but he carried on screaming. Aaron sighed and hesitantly picked him up and held him at arm's length. Jak stopped crying then and his and Aaron's eyes locked for a second before Jak's attention was taken elsewhere, to the room around him, new surroundings.

Seconds later Hazel walked in with a smile that had been her intention, to see if Aaron would do anything, she knew he'd surface when Jackson had left. "Told you it'd be alright"

Aaron sighed. "You're not funny, here take him" he quickly handed Jak over. "He needs changing by the smell, and I'm not doing it"

"Aaron what do you possibly think you could do wrong?"

"Drop him, hurt him…and there's the more extremes to do with my mental issues"

"Oh give over"

"No, I won't, you can all coo around him but I'm not alright" he told her before walking away.

When Jackson returned home an hour later with shopping bags Aaron was sat on the stairs and Jackson simply ignored him out of anger from earlier and walked into the kitchen. Aaron frowned as he watched him. Hazel was in the kitchen with Jak still as she prepared dinner. He watched as Jackson straight away went to his son and picked him up and held him, tears filled Aaron's eyes as he watched Hazel and more so Jackson's attention on his son. Was it wrong for Aaron to just want Jackson's attention? Yeah he'd not taken this well but surely they understood that and why?

With a shaky breath Aaron stood up and walked into the kitchen, blanking out their little family and he took the capsule of his medication and then walked upstairs. Fifteen minutes later he walked downstairs with his rucksack over his shoulder. He sighed and took a look around then quietly opened the front door and left.

By the time the mining lot finished their shift, Aaron was almost falling off his stool at the bar. "I'll have another please"

"Think you've had enough don't you Aaron?" the land lady asked.

"Ah come on, just one more please I'm not causing any trouble am I?"

"No, no you're not but you've had too much now, go on, go home"

"What home?" Aaron asked as he moved to get off the stool but he fell and crashed down onto the floor.

Mark sighed and moved away from the group and approached Aaron and held out his hand. Aaron began to laugh. "I'm not taking your hand!"

Mark looked at the land lady. "I'm sorry about this"

"Just get him out of here Mark, he's had enough now"

Mark nodded and quickly reached down and pulled him up and grabbed his bag at the same time. With Aaron at his side he led him out of the pub. "Going somewhere?"

"Haven't decided yet" Aaron slurred.

"What's happened Aaron?"

"That's nothing to do with you"

"No it isn't but we're here again, I could have helped you last night but you didn't let me, well I'm telling you something you're not stopping me this time, can't you see I care about you? Whatever is happening is having a serious effect on you and you don't need it Aaron…"

"SO! What…y-you're taking me back to yours are ya?" Aaron said as he began to laugh.

"Yeah I am and don't try to stop me, I'll be prepared this time, you need time away and my couch is free…"

"More like you take this as you're chance to take advantage again…why not just now?" Aaron said as he looked and saw the alley as they passed it. "It's there…why not eh? Go on you know you want too"

"I fell in love with you Aaron; give me a bit more credit eh?"

Aaron didn't reply and before he knew it he was being led into Mark's house and then was helped down onto the sofa. Mark stood at the opposite end of the living room by the fireplace. "Talk to me"

Aaron sighed and then went into depth about the arrival of Jak, and how he felt and how scared he was of himself and what his own actions could do. "Bet it's funny from where you're standing eh? Well I missed the fucking joke alright!"

"Hey, I haven't said anything"

"I don't blame you, I'd be smiling too if I wasn't so desperate, I'm at the back of the line, of Jackson's priorities and I don't want to be but I will not be his clown pretending everything's alright, playing happy families when I can't"

"Don't then"

"I feel like it's all happening again, a huge crash landing" he admitted as he put his head in his hands. "Adam's gone now…for however long I've no idea…h-he might not come back…and Jackson has Jak and who have I got eh?" he began to sob. "Go on, laugh…I would if I could see myself"

Mark stepped forward and knelt down in front of him. "You've got me Aaron, I loved you, I still bloody do, I wish I didn't but I can't help it, I tried to get rid of these feelings for you but I couldn't…when I saw you again in the pub they came back…" he explained and then stopped to let it sink in. "I'm not saying you should be with me, but if you want to give up everything you have with Jackson then that's your choice but you're mind isn't processing all of it properly, relax think about it all carefully…b-because it's not so bad really and I'm sure Jackson wouldn't shove you to the back"

"You didn't see him earlier, him and his mum with Jak…"

"You said you'd argued, he was bound to ignore you if he was mad"

Aaron sighed. "Can I stay here?"

"Of course you can but if Jackson comes knocking I'm not going to lie"

"I don't think he will"

"Well he might surprise you"

"I-I'm not doing this for attention you know"

"No, I didn't say you were, I understand why Aaron, you don't feel a part of anything, so staying in the house is unbearable, I get it"

"You're the only one who does" he said as he wiped his tears away.

"I'm gunna make us some food, you just relax alright?"

Aaron nodded as he sat back into the sofa. Mark got up and walked into the kitchen. "Mark…" he stopped and looked at Aaron. "I'm uh…I'm sorry for being horrible to you"

"Don't worry about it" Mark told him with a smile.

…

Chas came down from her bedroom with news for Jackson. Her eyes were red from crying over the news about Adam, she didn't get chance to say goodbye, and now, well now she was just shocked and angry. Chas hesitantly walked into the living room to see Jackson holding Jak, Hazel had been gone a few hours. "Jackson I uh…"

"What's up Chas?"

"Have you spoken to Aaron?"

He shook his head.

"Nah course you haven't…" she began to feel quite angry toward him. "Well you won't get a chance"

Jackson looked at her with a frown.

"He's gone. His rucksack is gone, and so is he, and he wasn't here when I came home and that's been hours and you didn't notice! And you supposedly love him eh?! Nice Jackson, just nice."

Jackson closed his eyes at the news of Aaron being gone. He could have prevented that. "I-I'm sorry I had too much-"

"Yeah you had your hands full I get it…"

"He…he's been horrible Chas"

Chas stepped closer angrily. "He always says horrible stuff; we grin and bear it, Jackson! I know you have Jak now and I understand I do, but Aaron is _my _son and I won't stand by and watch him crumble because of his insecurities, insecurities in which you aren't helping! If he ends up in the arms of someone else Mark perhaps, I wouldn't blame him right now!"

"Well then he'll have made his choice"

"He shouldn't have had to feel pushed out in the first place, he's fragile Jackson and you damn well know it! Now I will be out for the rest of my night finding my son, and then we're both leaving…he obviously doesn't want to be here, I have to look after him"

Jackson sighed. "Chas no, j-just bring him here…"

"No, no actually, you can…you can get your backside out there and look for him, Jak will be fine with me…"

Jackson took a second to consider what she was saying but was stopped when Chas yelled. "Now!" He nodded and handed Jak over and he walked out of the room, grabbed his jacket and left, he was going to Mark's first.

* * *

**TBC…**


	42. The Voice Within

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"The Voice Within"**

* * *

So I'm away until Friday after this, and I doubt I'll get to update, so in my usual style, I thought I'd leave you all with one hell of a cliffhanger! ;)

* * *

Mark walked back into the living room after putting their dirty plates on the bench next to the sink. Aaron was now more sober than when he first arrived and a lot calmer. He smiled at Mark as he sat down next to him. "Thanks, that was nice"

Mark smiled back with a nod. "You're welcome"

"Listen, I'm sorry I stopped your after work drinks in the pub, I know how religious it is for you guys to do that"

"Ahh don't worry about it, you needed me"

Aaron smiled. "Still…I seem to be wrecking everything lately"

"You will be alright you know, you're strong Aaron"

"More like weak trying to survive in a strong world" he snorted.

Mark smiled, it lit up the room and his eyes twinkled in the light, and the way that light was, his defined cheekbones cast a shadow. "No you are strong" he moved to get back up. "I'll just get us another can" Before Mark could move any further Aaron grabbed his arm. He quickly turned to face him. "What you doing Aaron?" he asked softly.

"I-I…I don't want you to go" Aaron answered as his eyes locked on him. "You're the only one who seems to get me…" he shook his head ever so slightly and swallowed hard. "D-Don't go" he begged.

Mark sat back down next to him, facing him this time with his arm over the back of the sofa. "I was only going to get cans…"

"Yeah…yeah I know but…"

"But what Aaron?"

Aaron looked away shyly, he took a deep breath. "But I didn't want you too, me and you it's still there…"

"You're right but I'm not going to influence anything that could jeopardise what you and Jackson do have Aaron"

"He doesn't want me"

"Now, after everything you've said you've never said that and to be honest I don't think that's true"

"It is, he's infatuated with that little sprog"

Mark frowned. "You English are weird…I can just about understand you at the best of times but when you start adding words like 'sprog' into the mix well then I'm just baffled" he told him with a smirk.

Aaron looked offended and playfully whacked him on the arm. "My English is fine thanks"

"Hmm, okay" Mark chuckled. "Anyway…you're just jealous Aaron; if you actually included yourself in this new mix then you might understand and accept what is happening"

"Right now I don't want to accept anything, there's no place for me there, I just don't fit…right now I'd rather have yo-…you taking me up-…" he sighed, embarrassment over coming him.

"Take you where?" he eyed him suspiciously.

"U…upstairs…" Aaron said in almost a whisper.

"Are you absolutely sure about this?" Mark spoke firmly making sure there were no uncertainties as to whether Aaron heard him or not.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, I am"

"First room on the right, I'll clear up down here…"

Aaron smiled, he wanted him, and he really did. There was a connection since Mark told him he was gay and then it deepened since the incident in the mine, and more once again after their sexual encounter and Aaron in that moment felt like Mark cared and was importantly was bothered about him. Aaron got up and left the living room and headed up the stairs.

Mark thought long and hard about what was going to happen once he went up there, they would make love in his bed, sharing each other. Mark's feelings for that lad upstairs were so strong, he cared; he really did, seeing him hurt the way he had once he got to his house was so upsetting for Mark to listen too. Aaron didn't feel worthy, and he certainly felt lost. He wanted to change that and he couldn't think about Jackson now, Aaron was his only concern and he'd go with whatever Aaron wanted too as long as he himself knew he hadn't influenced anything, and so far he hadn't.

Suddenly and unexpectedly his door crashed open and he watched as Jackson stormed in, in a complete rage. Jackson grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up against the wall. "Woah!" Mark yelled. "What the hell are you doing!"

"I saw you and Aaron looking very cosy, I watched through that window!" he screamed. "You said this was over!"

"I did! But if I remember rightly!" Mark yelled back as he pushed Jackson off him. "I asked you to look after him?! You failed! Now look at him! He's a mess Jackson!"

"Do you think I don't know that?" Jackson's chest rose and fell quickly.

"What the hell's going on dow…" Aaron's words trailed off as he ran into the living room, stood with his top off, he just started getting undressed when he heard the crashing noise. He locked eyes with Jackson and swallowed hard as he slowly walked into the living room.

"W-What's this then?" Jackson asked tearfully.

"I-I said he could stay, he just went up to bed in the spare room"

Aaron frowned. "Why are you lying?"

Jackson looked between the two of them. "What?"

"I wasn't going in the spare room"

"Y-…yes you were Aaron, I just told you, first room on the right" Mark explained as he nodded at Aaron from behind Jackson telling him to play along.

Aaron scoffed. "No it's not I've just been in there, that's your room"

"W-Why are you doing this Aaron, to hurt me?" Jackson asked and Mark sighed, now Jackson was going to go crazy, in his own way he tried to stop that. Aaron was having none of it.

Aaron shrugged. "I-I'm not coming home Jackson"

Tears ran down Jackson's face and his breathing shuddered as the tears escaped. "W-why?"

"Because I don't want to" he explained while looking away, anything not to look in Jackson's eyes.

"Y-you want him?" Jackson's pain was clear to be heard.

"You pushed me out Jackson" Aaron replied quietly. "A-and you want a family…you got it now…so in a way I'm not needed…"

"Not needed? I love you Aaron, I-I never meant to push you out, you angered me today with what you said, I-I wasn't trying to sell Jak to you…I was just explaining…I know it-he is a massive adjustment to our lives but we can do it, I trust you wholeheartedly I know you wouldn't hurt him…p-please just come back" Jackson cried out in a panic, he couldn't lose him.

Aaron shook his head. "I-I've had enough Jackson, I'm sorry"

"Please, I'll get down on my knees if I have too" he cried. "I love you so much"

"Jackson mate…" Mark began.

"I'm not your mate!" Jackson growled angrily and Mark had no further intentions to speak

Aaron shook his head. "Aaron" Jackson sobbed. "Please" he shook his head again. Jackson got down on his knees and Aaron looked down at him. "I'm begging you now, I love you Aaron, I want you so much…t-the ring…the date…don't put that last date on it…r-remember what you said? You didn't want it adding anytime soon, please" he sobbed. "Come home"

Tears broke through eventually, Aaron quickly wiped them away and he told Jackson no again before turning away. Jackson's cries were the only sound heard in the house. Mark watched as Jackson stood up again weak and broken hearted. As Jackson began walking out Aaron turned and watched him go. When he was out of sight, he looked down at his chest and lifted the necklace with the ring on it and held it in his hand. He frowned at it.

Mark could see and feel the sadness coming from Aaron. He realised once again this was not the way. "You have to go after him" he told him quietly.

Aaron's eyes locked onto Mark's. "I'm so sorry" he cried. "For doing this again"

Mark smiled bravely. "You go…"

Aaron nodded and ignoring his bare upper body he ran out of the house. He stopped trying to find Jackson in the darkness. "JACKSON! WAIT!" he yelled. Mark stood out on the street watching, he saw Jackson turn around at the sound of Aaron's voice. Seconds later Mark was distracted and he looked in the direction and bright erratic light movements blinded him and he heard a screeching sound. Aaron was about to step out onto the road. Mark gasped. "AARON NO!" he screamed.

Jackson's eyes widened, he saw it too and started to run as fast as possible to Aaron. "AARON DON'T!"

Why couldn't he see it? Jackson was all he could see. He smiled through teary eyes, then in a second once he'd reached the middle of the road he felt an almighty pain shoot up from his legs to his side. After that it all went black.

Mark watched as Aaron was flung over the top of the car and back down onto the road. Jackson stopped at the edge of the pavement and fell to his knees, crying hard and screaming out. "Oh god no… please…please no!" he sobbed so much it racked his entire body.

Mark ran back into the house to phone an ambulance. When he walked back outside Jackson was knelt down at his side. Aaron had cuts on his face and his nose and lower lip bled. "I-I called an ambulance…Is he alive?" he told Jackson.

Jackson simply nodded and pulled Aaron into his arms and held him.

"I-I'm so sorry Jackson" Mark spoke quietly, stunned by the accident.

"It's not your fault…" he told him then looked back at his unconscious Aaron. "Come on gorgeous wake up…w-when's this going to stop hmm? It's got too…please, please wake up…me and you, w-we'll be fine…I promise you, you are still a massive part of my world Aaron and you always will be…" Jackson sobbed. "I can't lose you, not now…and…and I don't blame you for tonight, I'm not mad, I'm not, wake up babe please" as the sounds of the sirens could be heard in the distance Jackson felt helpless and he desperately shook him. "WAKE UP! Aaron wake up!" Jackson got himself worked up and he began to cough and gag as the shouting and emotion was too much for him. "Please, I love you…I always have, I'll never stop…please just be alright…"

* * *

**TBC….**


	43. Perfect

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Perfect"**

* * *

Jackson watched on as his boyfriend, his lover, his best friend and soul mate was fighting for survival with the nurses and doctors rallying around him, his eyes were full with tears, he couldn't take it anymore and he turned away from the window, he couldn't take seeing Aaron in anymore pain, he'd watched him suffer enough. He took in a deep breath and shakily let it out as the tear drops fell from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Momentarily he looked up and saw Chas running towards him, in a state equal to his own. She immediately pulled him into a hug and they both cried against one another. Once she calmed down she pulled away and looked him in the eyes and asked him to go over the events, she hadn't understood him properly on the phone he was in too much of a panic. Jackson went on to tell her everything, from finding him topless and claiming to have been in Mark's bedroom and how it was designed to hurt him back because in Aaron's eyes, that's what Jackson had done to him – hurt him.

Chas rolled her eyes at the replay of events been told by Jackson. What the hell was Aaron thinking? Why couldn't he just be happy for once in his life? And with someone who loved him more than anything? Those were questions she intended on getting answers to. Jackson explained the accident and that Aaron had ran out to him, had chosen him but then only to be run down by an out of control car and how horribly he then landed back on the concrete road.

Chas wiped her eyes and nodded, she blew out a deep breath. "How bad is he hurt?"

Jackson sighed. "They've said he has swelling on the brain, a broken hip from the impact of the car, a broken arm, and internal bleeding which they are dealing with at the minute, he has other minor cuts and bruises…" Jackson explained with a sigh and looked away apprehensively.

Chas' eyes narrowed at him. There was something else. "Jackson?"

"They aren't sure when he'll wake up, they're going to try and reduce or completely remove the pressure on his brain but the next forty eight hours are crucial and, and we have to be prepared" Jackson's expressions faltered from the braveness he'd put up for Chas' sake. Chas immediately saw his sadness return and moved to comfort him but Jackson stepped back, shaking his head slightly. Chas wasn't offended by him, he needed space it was perfectly understandable.

"O-o-okay…" she smiled and cleared her throat as she wiped away her tears "Well then we wait" she told him with a nod.

"I let him down" Jackson told her quietly.

"No" Chas frowned. "You both let each other down and I hope to god you both get another chance…and before you start thinking anything this accident was neither his or your fault, got it?"

Jackson nodded, she was right as always. They had let each other down, it was clear to see now, typical when faced with the possibility of his boyfriend's death, a bad situation…why were things always seen clearly in the aftermath of such disaster?

…

Mark hadn't moved from the footpath outside of his house since the ambulance left with Aaron almost an hour ago, he just stood staring down at the pool of blood on the road, tear trails were evident on his cheeks and his red eyes were still full with tears. He just cried silently. He knew why he kept getting involved with Aaron, the love he had for him but it didn't make it any easier when each time he was knocked out by the combined love of Aaron & Jackson, when it came to those two he should have expected it again after the first time, but he hadn't, he thought Aaron wanted him and on one hand he knew Aaron meant his words, but on the other he knew he was just using him as an excuse, a safe haven from his life with Jackson, a place to hide, problem was Mark had let him, again the reason for that was love, his true love for Aaron Livesy. Absent minded; Mark turned and walked back into his house, he was blank, complete void of any expression at least until he closed the front door and a disgruntled look washed over him and he vomited heavily all over the kitchen, sick to the stomach from what he had witnessed.

…

Aaron frowned as he realised where he stood once again, he looked up and the funnels were bellowing out black smoke, the sun was shining and the ocean was a calm deep blue and the boat deck was filled with passengers going about their daily business. "This isn't funny, what the hell is going on?" he muttered to himself as he leaned against the iron railings and looked out at the ocean. He'd been here before, he'd already lived this and knowing what was to come he'd rather he didn't relive the rest of it. He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

Adam smirked as he stood next to him. "This is one dream you can't get out of"

Aaron turned and looked at Adam with a frown. "W-what the hell, you're in a sanatorium right now"

Adam nodded with a smile. "In the real world yeah…"

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Okay is this one of those inner mind things again?"

"You don't remember do you?" Aaron's confused scowl gave Adam his answer. "You were run down by a car…you're in a coma actually"

"Oh well how's that for luck?" Aaron grinned sarcastically. "Yet again causing more hurt, I hope I don't wake up"

"Hmm…let's think about that shall we?" Adam said and he had no intention of waiting for a reply. "What your loved ones lives could have been like if you weren't in it…."

"I'd rather we didn't" Aaron replied with a heavy sigh.

"Tough" Adam answered with a glare. "First…Jackson…you know the man you love? The man you ran back to but were stopped by the car? Well imagine his life without you…he'd still be with Samantha living a lie, Hazel making his life hell…maybe even to the point of suicide…possibly on this very ship…I mean look around it's pretty easy too…jump over the edge, gone in a few minutes from the cold…that's if the impact doesn't do it…"

Aaron frowned, he did not want to hear that but he didn't seem to have any choice.

"But then you came into his life, an attractive, healthy young man, you showed him what his life could be like and you both started a journey together that cannot be broken because the bond you two have is indestructible, you love each other and now Jackson is free, his relationship is better with his mum…and I know, I know that is down to you Aaron"

Aaron scoffed.

"Oh you're being daft now, stop with the grunts and listen because it's true"

"And what about Jak then?"

"An addition to your life together, a test if you will I suppose, one you're pushing to a fail, so when you wake up, I suggest you adjust to him in your life, he's apart of Jackson, you can love him just as much as you do him"

Aaron didn't answer, his silence spoke volumes, he was thinking about the possibility. "And then there's your mum…Carl was a nasty piece of work, what if you weren't around and that relationship became abusive…where would she be now? The fact is though Aaron you are alive and very much here, if you weren't she wouldn't know what would be the best thing in her life"

"And you're saying that's me?"

"You know you are" Adam told him and looked him in the eye and held his gaze for a few seconds. "Tell me something, what do you think your life would have been like if this ship hadn't sunk?"

"A load of shit, for one I don't think Jackson would have gotten off this ship with me if it docked like he said, leaving me heartbroken probably, he'd be that coward again"

"But" Adam smirked. "That didn't happen"

Aaron sighed. "Are you deliberately trying to confuse me?" he asked. "No it did not happen like that; now we're together through convenience"

"That's a bit daft innit? You were running after him so somewhere inside you, you know you are both in love with each other, and you know damn well you can be happy. The problem in this relationship is not him, it's you"

"Oh cheers, and why are we here anyway? Back here on this ship? It's the last place I'd wanna be, coma or not"

"Now you're just being stubborn, you can't be here, or in the real world even talk about it, you're here because it means a hell of a lot to you, it changed your life"

"No, I hate it"

"Your life?"

"No this. It almost killed me"

"And Jackson, don't forget that"

"Is he here? No he isn't! I'm the one that messed up again and ended up in hospital"

"Well why did you do that?"

Aaron shrugged and looked away. "I'm too damned selfish, I thought about no one except me. I had sex with another man and then I intentionally hurt Jackson by telling him I was in Mark's bedroom, and I had to watch as he got on his knees and begged me to go home with him because he loved me, and do you know what I did? I as good as laughed in his face, I'm cruel, selfish, and cold-hearted and I don't deserve his or anyone else's love, what I did to Carl and this ship made me like this" he told Adam quickly in a rant then stormed off.

Adam sighed, rolled his eyes and followed behind him. "Oh grow up and stop with the self-loathing! I'll tell you what you are shall I?"

Aaron shrugged as he charged on ahead.

"Aside from the issues you have right now, which aren't permanent…y…yo…well you're just perfect alright, t-that's what you are and everyone loves you Aaron, they do…you just have to wake up and live your life and this time I mean properly, live it like it's your last day because like this proves you just don't know what's around the corner"

Aaron stopped and turned around with tears running down his face. "And how the hell do I know I'll even wake up? How do you know? This is just a dream"

Adam nodded. "Yeah it is, but you're a fighter, does the aftermath of killing Carl and the aftermath of Titanic not make you see that? You've gone through so much Aaron, you really are a fighter, Carl and this ship may have impacted you severely but you can stop them from taking hold of you. You know you can do it, they almost won before you've just got to have faith in yourself again"

"How?" Aaron sobbed as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Letting yourself be loved by the right man might help for a start" Adam smiled. "Keep fighting Aaron, you're not done yet" in seconds everything went black.

…

Twenty four hours had passed since Aaron arrived in the hospital, Jackson hadn't slept and neither had Chas. The doctors had done all they could, he was stable now. They were waiting on him, waiting for him to wake in his own time, the fact that he was breathing on his own was a great relief for Jackson and Chas. Chas was in the waiting room while Jackson now sat in a chair beside the bed.

Jackson reached out and held Aaron's hand gently. He had a bandage around his head and his face was pale which caused the cuts and bruises to stand out just that little more. He watched as Aaron's chest rose and fell slowly. Jackson smiled as he brought Aaron's hand to his lips and kissed it. "You've got to wake up babe. I'm missing you like crazy, mum sends her love…I know that confused me too…you're not awake to hear it…" Jackson frowned as he explained. "A-anyway I've been thinking, when you get out of here me and you will go on holiday, mum can have Jak for a while. I have to focus on us first before you adjust to Jak in your life aswell as both of ours combined. I-I wish you didn't have to adjust to something else but he's my son Aaron…a-and I love him the same as I love you, I can't forget about him now, I just hope you can accept him too" he told him and then reached out avoiding the cuts, he stroked his face.

"I love you so much" his voice cracked as he cried at those words. "Come back to me Aaron, please" he sobbed. "I'm begging you…again, I need you like you need me and I know you do, you chose me, you shouted for me, I know you love me a-and I forgive you, you wanted to hurt me…I don't blame you I didn't handle things well and it pushed you away, I-I'll never ever push you away again Aaron I promise you, just please wake up we all miss you, our lives aren't complete without you in it and I don't want that to be a reality anytime soon…" he told him as he reached out and pulled out the necklace from under the hospital gown and held it tightly in the palm of his hand and sobbed his heart out and rested his head on the bed as he became overcome by his emotions. "I love you, I'll never stop, please wake up" he begged once again.

When Jackson calmed down he sat back up again and Aaron was still unconscious. He wiped his tears away and let go of the necklace and ring and placed it down carefully on his chest on top of the gown. He stood up and leaned down and kissed him softly on his lips. "I won't be far" he whispered then walked away and out of the room. The realisation of not knowing how long or when he'd wake up hit him hard and it hurt badly.

The following morning Chas insisted that Jackson go home to rest and see his son then come back fresh he gave in and left; upon returning to the house someone was waiting on the doorstep. Samantha. He frowned and walked up the front path. "What are you doing here? Thought you were overseas?"

Samantha nodded. "I'm still going, I lied a bit…m-me and you need to talk Jackson…can we go inside?"

"Erm, now isn't a good time…if you want to see Jak he's with my mum"

"I don't Jackson" she replied with a sigh. "But I did hear about Aaron and I am so sorry"

Jackson snorted as he unlocked the front door. "Yeah, course you are"

"I don't understand your attitude"

"Well over a day without sleep Sam, I don't have a clue whether he's going to live or die! Now you understand!" he told her as he stormed inside and moved to close the door in her face but she stopped him. "I'm not in the mood for this"

"Tough, we need to talk Jackson and I need to do it now"

Jackson sighed and opened the door. "You've got ten minutes" he told her as she walked in and he closed the door behind her.

* * *

**TBC…**


	44. The Wait

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"The Wait"**

* * *

"This won't take long" Samantha told him as they both walked through into the living room. "I-…I want you to look after Jak permanently"

Jackson pouted as he began to frown, Aaron was right, but he didn't see that coming either. He wasn't doing so good with things lately was he? "Why?"

"Because I have plans, before, a family was what I wanted, now well I don't want a family, Jak is your son and I want you to take him, I…I want no part in his life"

"Do you have any idea what kind of questions he'll have when he's older?"

Samantha sighed and nodded. "Yes I have but I need to go away, you will raise him well Jackson you'll think of something to tell him, but for now he's a baby and it's not a concern you can deal with that when the time comes"

"Oh well that's just nice…"

"It's either you or an orphanage" she told him bluntly.

Jackson's eyes widened. "I don't think so, he's my son of course I'll look after him but I need to make you aware that what you're doing is disgusting and wrong!"

"I know that but a child doesn't fit into my life anymore, I-I wouldn't have no one to look after him anyway, my father's not interested in him"

"Because he's mine?" Jackson asked.

Samantha nodded and turned away from Jackson. "I know you have your own life and career but you have people to help you, I don't…and I know this is harsh but I have to think about me, not some child I don't want, I'd resent him in time and that's not something a child should pick up on, he's best off with you"

"And what do I tell him? Because he might just ask when he's old enough"

Samantha turned to face him again and shrugged her shoulders. "That I died…or the truth, whatever you tell him is up to you"

"This is crazy" Jackson said as he rubbed his face in frustration.

"Maybe but it's the way it is, I know you'll take good care of him"

Jackson just watched her as she slowly made her way to the hallway. He followed. "I will…b-but I still don't understand"

Samantha walked to the front door and opened it and turned back to face him. "You don't need to, just know he's yours and he needs you now"

Jackson frowned, stunned by all of this.

"Goodbye Jackson" and those were her final words before she left the house and closed the door behind her.

She, however was the least of Jackson's worries at the moment, of course he'd take Jak without question but how heartless could she be, but then again she had reasons he supposed not that they excused her actions though. He sighed, baffled by her and he lowered himself onto the stairs. He put his head in his hands and remained there motionless for a few minutes before getting to his feet and walking up the stairs to bed. He would try and sleep for everyone's sake; they all needed him to be at his best, or at least near enough. If he couldn't sleep he'd shower and eat, that was the next best thing to sleep.

…

Hazel had joined Chas at the hospital and Chas took Jak for a while after all Hazel had, had him for a while it was only fair. Hazel went off to the cafeteria and Chas smiled at Jak as she walked into Aaron's room with him. She looked over at himself and immediately felt the lump in her throat but she forced it back. "Look Jak, who's this eh?" she asked as she settled into the chair with him in her lap. "This is Aaron and deep down he loves you really" she told him. "He's just a moody stubborn so and so" she smiled. "But he loves your daddy so, so much" Chas voice hitched as she began to cry. "And he loves him back, and that makes Aaron your dad to in a way because your our family now aswell" she told him as she looked down at him sitting in her lap. Jak's head flopped back into Chas' chest and he looked up at her as he gurgled and giggled as he tried to free himself from her hands. She pulled him further up and into her arms. "People don't understand about things like this, your dad and Aaron… but as you grow up you'll understand, it'll just seem natural, at least I hope it will" she spoke with a smile as she looked down at him. She then moved her gaze to Aaron who was still showing no signs of waking. She sighed.

"Come on kid, you were always a good sleeper but this takes the mick a bit don't you think?" she asked with a chuckle. "I miss my boy, you have to wake up Aaron, because we can't live without you, I assume Jackson's probably said the same but it's all true…we love you so, so much and we can't lose you. Just open those beautiful blue eyes and I promise you everything will be alright" she told him as she reached out and took his hand. "We promise" she said in a whisper then looked down at Jak. "We do don't we?" Jak simply replied with a gurgle.

In the corner of her eye Chas saw someone looking into the room from the window, she turned and instantly anger raged within and she got up whilst still holding Jak and stormed out of the room and stood face to face with Mark. "I don't know what the hell you think you're doing coming here but you're lucky I'm holding a baby" she warned him.

Mark sighed and nodded. "I know I-I need to see him"

Chas sighed and looked away for a second. "Jackson's mum is in the cafeteria, you've got five minutes to say your goodbyes"

"Goodbyes?" Mark asked with a frown.

Chas nodded. "We don't know if he'll wake up or not, and if he does you won't be seeing him again so yes" she snapped. "Say your goodbyes"

Mark looked through the window at Aaron and swallowed hard. He nodded and began to walk in.

"Five minutes" Chas reminded him harshly but actually he got more than he deserved in being allowed to see him, she only did that because she saw the concern and love he had for Aaron, but she wanted him and Jackson to work and there could be no room for another man so his goodbyes to her son were a must.

Mark sat in the seat beside the bed and took Aaron's hand in his own, he smiled his skin was always so soft. He blew out a shaky breath and looked up to the ceiling to stop his tears from falling. The lump in his throat physically began to hurt him but he ignored it and just stared at Aaron. "I should have known" he began. "But my feelings for you clouded what you were actually doing and I don't blame you, I don't Aaron but it's best now that we don't see each other at all and this time I will keep to my end of it, although it's a small town we might bump into each other, I won't smile or say hi either, you don't need that, you need Jackson and you have to focus on that life, not the life you pretended you wanted with me…even if it wasn't pretence I have absolutely nothing to offer you Aaron so this is for the best" he spoke as tears ran down his face. "Jackson loves you, I can see it you have to accept that love and live your lives because you can do it you have to stop running"

"Wise words" Jackson spoke from the doorway.

Mark instantly turned to face him with a frown. "I didn't think you were here, his mum said I could have five minutes"

Jackson nodded. "I wasn't but I couldn't sleep so I had food, showered and came back…and now I want you to leave"

Mark nodded and got up from the chair and let go of Aaron's hand and walked to the door with his head down but when Jackson took hold of his arm as he walked to pass him he looked up.

"I won't fail in looking after him this time, you have my word" Jackson told him sincerely and then let go of his arm.

Mark nodded. "I-I hope he wakes up"

"Me too"

"I'm sorry Jackson"

"You can't help who you fall in love with and because it's Aaron" Jackson smiled slightly as he looked across at him. "Well…I understand why"

Mark nodded and then left the room and walked straight past Chas and quickly down the corridor. Chas then entered and stood next to Jackson with Jak in her arms. "I'm sorry Jackson I-I just thought…"

Jackson shook his head ever so slightly. "It's alright, he's gone now for definite…it's just us and him" he smiled. "And he will wake up, he will"

Chas' smile was an unsure one, a one where she was trying to be positive for Jackson's sake. None of them knew if he would wake up, they just hoped he would.

Jackson then stepped up to the bed and smiled down at Aaron. "Well you were right…"

Chas frowned as she listened.

"Samantha was waiting when I got home and guess what?"

Chas sighed and closed her eyes briefly, she knew what was coming and she held Jak just a little more tightly.

"She doesn't want him, so it's up to us now, I-I should have seen it, I should have listened to you but I didn't, I couldn't…you were right Aaron, oh I'm so sorry" he said with a sigh as he slumped down into the chair. "I've been useless to you, and it's not fair and look where it got you"

"No, Jackson…" Chas intervened quietly.

"But it is true Chas, I may aswell have driven that car myself"

"That's not true"

"Is it not?"

Chas walked to the opposite side of the bed and looked at Jackson. She snorted. "What? You want me to blame you? Make you feel a bit better? Well tough because that's not going to happen, grow up Jackson, he needs you; look at him for god sake!"

Jackson then looked at him and he started to cry. "I know!"

"Do you?! Do you really? If he gets out of this then the whole cycle starts again, yet another recovery, his hip is broken, he'll be in a chair! His arm is broken, and to top it all he's had a major head injury…w-what if he doesn't wake up the same?"

"Do you think I haven't thought about that?"

"I don't know Jackson, have you? I haven't got a clue what's going on in your head right now!" she vented and let out a deep breath. "I am sick and tired of my son hurting and while I couldn't stop this, it's all I need on top of Adam being god knows where…h-he might not survive either, we don't know, everything is an uncertainty and I can't take it anymore, I can't so do forgive me if I can't help you drown in your own self-pity because I can't! I just won't do it, man up Jackson, two men need you right now and this one is healthy" she told him harshly then passed Jak over to him and stormed out.

Everything was getting on top of Chas and she burst into tears and she began walking along the corridor. Hazel hurried to her and took her in her arms. "W-what's happened?" she asked as she hugged her.

Chas shook her head. "I just can't take anymore Hazel, I can't, it's not fair…Adam…Aaron…" she sighed. "I can't-"

"Shhh" Hazel soothed. "They will both be alright"

"How do you know?"

Hazel shrugged. "I don't but I just have to hope and be positive"

"I'm trying" Chas told her as she pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"I know you are love, go on go home and get some rest" she suggested with a smile and Chas easily agreed which came as a shock to Hazel, she couldn't pry Chas away a few hours ago. She watched her leave then walked into Aaron's room and sat with Jackson.

"So, this holiday?" she began, Jackson needed some kind of distraction.

"Oh erm…I was thinking somewhere in the country, a cabin with maybe a lake…nice weather, just somewhere for me and him to go where we can be alone, no disruptions…"Hazel began to grin. "What?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"I might have just the place; a friend of mine owes me a favour"

"Ahh, so I'm assuming it'll be a posh cabin then" he joked.

"No" Hazel began with a smile. "Basic, cosy and just what you boys need"

Jackson nodded. "It'll take a bit more than that though won't it mum?"

Hazel shrugged. "You won't know until you both go"

"B-But what if he doesn't-"

"Hey! No" Hazel cut him off. "I'm not having that sort of talk anymore, stay positive don't think of the what ifs, they might not happen"

"Exactly! Might not…"

"Jackson, just do as I say for once in your life"

Jackson retreated with a sigh and he nodded. "Alright…um when you go home do you mind taking Jak? Chas brought his bag but there's not enough for a night stay and I-I'm not sure I want him here too long anyway"

Hazel nodded. "Of course I will, I'll tell you something he doesn't seem fazed by anything, he hasn't cried, caused a fuss…he's a good boy" she said as she grinned at the baby.

"He is" Jackson said with a nod. "And our family will be complete again soon"

"Now that's better" Hazel told him. "All you have to do is be patient, it's up to him son"

* * *

**TBC…**


	45. Reawakening

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Reawakening"**

* * *

I stare nervously up at the cross up on the wall, the rows of benches continue behind me. I breathe out a deep heavy sigh and close my eyes and begin.

_I'm not so sure why I'm here, I'm not religious and I certainly don't believe. I think I just wanted to be somewhere where I could talk alone in private, just to get my thoughts out you know? And you haven't struck me down yet so I guess that's a good sign…and by all accounts you made us in your image so if you didn't want men to love other men then you wouldn't have allowed it when you made us, but like I said I don't believe I'm just here to talk to get stuff out…I'm trying to be brave and positive but to be honest I'm so scared it's been a week already and he hasn't woken up. I-I…I keep talking to him, telling him about what's going on, my day and I tell him about Jak, when he's done something funny or even just smiled, he smiled at me this morning and I just cried, I cried because I want Aaron to smile at me again, I miss that cheeky little smile, I love him, every inch of him. He just needs to come around so I can hold him tight and tell him it's alright, because it will, it will be alright. _

_Mum and Chas have been great with Jak, we've all taken turns to look after him in between our shifts here at the hospital, we've kind of come up with an unspoken routine it's quite freaky how it all just happened actually. _

_I know I don't believe but if there is some higher power out there, watching over us send him back, just send him back to me, he can't just die now, that can't happen so please if you can hear me send my Aaron back to us, he's got his entire life ahead of him, he's had a year of hell so far, so please send him back so he can start again, please. _I clear my throat and sit back. _That's all I wanted to say really, I won't be able to live again if he's taken away…just do this one thing for me. _

Jackson sat in silence for a few minutes before speaking again. _Chas had a go at me again the other day, she kicked off blaming me, said I'd done this to Aaron, I was upset but it was nothing I hadn't thought myself so I just let her get it out, she's been trying to be strong, the poor woman is exhausted, trying to cope with Aaron and Adam, juggle Jak and still going to work on the odd day…I can't begin to imagine what she's going through…well I do a bit I just have to look at Jak and imagine him where Aaron is when he's older…I-it doesn't bare thinking about but that's the place Chas is in, I want to make everything better but I can't. She apologised and I told her it didn't matter, that I understood her outburst, she had to get it out, we hugged made up and now we're fine, the last few days have gone by quietly without any arguments. _

_I gave Aaron a bed bath this morning, it was a daunting task I'll tell ya but I managed, it was quite a nice moment, might sound weird because he's in a coma but it was as if in the silence of the room while I wiped him down with the sponge I could feel him around me, the loving bond we have was there and when I realised it I just looked at his beautiful face, I felt the love even more, he's still very much alive and I got that feeling today and it gave me a new sense of hope and I haven't stopped smiling since. He really is the man of my dreams and I wouldn't change him for the world, if I could swap places with him right now I would, because then I'd know he was okay…d-do you think they dream, coma patients? I wonder if he's dreamt about me…hell I'd settle to know if he could hear us all when we're sat talking to him, I wonder what he'd say. _

_Oh I erm I sat Jak on the edge of Aaron's bed and held him there and he kept looking at Aaron and back at me, I smiled so much then he started hitting him, his little hands out flat and hitting him with the palms of his hands, it was like he was willing him to wake up, it was cute and I could have watched it forever but I moved him away just in case he hurt him, doubtful though there's no force in him. _

Moments later the door burst open at the back of the chapel causing Jackson to jump and turn around, when he did he saw a tearful Chas. Jackson immediately got up and walked as fast as he could to her. "What's happened?" he asked in a panic, it was only until she began to smile that he relaxed ever so slightly. "What? What is it?"

Chas cleared her throat. "He-he's awake. Jackson he's awake!" she was ecstatic and ran back out into the corridor, Jackson followed quickly behind her, his heart beat quickened and a minute later he burst into the room to see Aaron awake and sitting up, he cried hard and dropped his head into his hands.

Chas soothed him and urged him over to Aaron.

Aaron lay smiling. "Hi" he said with a croaky voice.

"Hi" Jackson shakily replied as he stopped by his side. "How are you feeling?"

Aaron nodded as he looked up into Jackson's eyes. "I'm okay, everything's a bit stiff but I'm not surprised, been out a week by all accounts"

"The worst week of our lives" Jackson told him and Aaron grabbed Jackson's hand and held it tightly.

"I'm so sorry Jackson…p-part of me didn't want to remember what I'd done…but I'm glad I can remember in a way…I'm going to start making it up to you…I shouted for you, I wanted you and I would have ran to you"

Jackson nodded as he listened to his boyfriend.

"How are you?" Aaron asked with eyes full of tears.

Jackson broke down and cried again as he leaned down and hugged him tightly. "Better now, much better"

"Good" Aaron ran his hands up and down Jackson's back comforting him "I've made so many mistakes Jackson and I keep running away…I'm going to stop running now"

Jackson nodded and pulled away and took a proper look at him. "I just want us to be happy Aaron"

"And we can do it" Aaron told him with a smile, he remembered Adam's words from his dream vividly. "How's Jak?"

Jackson chuckled. "He…he's fine, I mean his dads in hospital and he's just laid back with no care in the world…how rude eh?"

Aaron grinned. "Y-You mean that don't you?"

"What?"

"Dad…"

Jackson nodded. "I want you to be but in your own time…I won't push you, although I must tell you he was getting a bit frustrated with you" he smirked.

"Oh?"

"Well I sat him beside you this morning; he started hitting you, think he wanted you to get up"

Chas watched on with a huge smile and she couldn't have been happier when Aaron laughed at what Jackson had just told him.

"Well I'm awake now, I don't know about up yet, I can't move my legs"

Jackson frowned and looked at Chas then looked back at Aaron. "Well…the accident was really bad babe, your hip is broken…you might just need some therapy" he told him with a smile then looked at Chas.

Chas nodded slightly, receiving his silent message and she walked out in search of the doctor again.

"Yeah" Aaron said in a sigh and rested his head back on the pillow. "Have we heard anything about Adam?"

Jackson shook his head. "No I'm sorry babe, not yet"

"Oh okay…"

"I'm sure he'll be fine too...you wanna hear some news?"

Aaron nodded. "Go on then"

"Alright but don't tell me I told you so alright…"

"Ah Sam?"

Jackson nodded. "She's abandoning him, said it was me or an orphanage" he scoffed and shook his head. "So I told her of course I'll have him, he's my son"

"I'm glad you did, I-I just didn't like the idea at first, selfish reasons…"

"Yeah, about them…just because I have a son doesn't mean I'm going to neglect you for one second, you are my life to and I'm going to treat you properly from now on"

"You've always treated me properly Jackson"

"Not recently…I haven't been good with you, I shouldn't have pushed you out and I never will again…you will always have my attention, you and Jak are all I care about…you two are what my life consists of and that's never going to change"

A teary Aaron nodded and swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I love you so much"

Jackson smiled and leaned over and kissed him on his lips. "I love you too" he whispered against them. "I don't know what I'd have done if I'd lost you"

"You'd have thought of something" Aaron told him with a smirk and Jackson chuckled. "Not funny Livesy"

….

One Month Later

It was a warm day and the sky was clear; Aaron stood holding Jak outside by the car. He sighed and shook his head. "What's he like eh? He then turned to the house again. "Oi! Are you still faffing Walsh!"

"He's trying to close the case" Chas told him as she stood in the doorway.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "We're only going for a week! Mine's in the boot already"

"Yes love but judging what you left for Titanic with I'm not really surprised that you're ready before him, that man knows what he needs" she grinned.

Aaron pulled a shocked face and looked at Jak who just stared wide eyed at him. "Did you hear that? Like I'm not prepared for this holiday, one I've been waiting ages for and frankly what has got me back on my feet and your dad of course…but…" he sighed. "You have no idea what I'm talking about have ya?" he looked back at Chas and shrugged.

While he waited for Jackson, Aaron paced the footpath with Jak in his arms, humming a tune he'd heard on the wireless. "I'm ready!" Jackson announced as he walked outside with a massive suitcase.

"Ahh about time, right you" he said and held Jak out in front of him. "You be good alright, and look after your grandmothers" he said but frowned at how weird it sounded. "They're getting old" he whispered but Jackson was within earshot and laughed which made Chas glare over suspiciously. Aaron saw her and laughed himself. He hugged Jak and kissed him on the cheek. "Dad's turn now" he told him and handed him over.

Jackson hugged him close and said goodbye while Aaron said bye to his mum.

"You take care of yourself you hear me?" Chas asked.

"Yes mum, I will"

"You haven't been off the crutch long and before that was the chair" she sighed "I just worry that's all"

"Well don't, I have Jackson and he's perfectly capable of looking after me if something happens, which it won't"

"But what if you fall?"

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes in frustration. "Mum! I'll be careful"

"I know, I-I just remember after you woke up you said you couldn't move your legs and I left to find the doctor, I was so scared in those moments until he told me it was normal, normal?" she scoffed. "I-I just don't want anything to happen that could hurt you again"

"I'll be careful I promise"

"Good…alright, come here you" she pulled him close and held him tightly. "I love you"

"I love you too" Aaron told her as he pulled away. "We'll see you in a week" he said as he walked to the car.

Minutes later after Jackson gave Jak to Chas he got in the car and they drove away. As they left Aaron noticed Jackson had tears down his face, he leaned over and wiped them away. "He'll be alright"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "I-I know we just haven't left him with anyone for this long that's all…"

"He'll be fine babe, I promise" Aaron smiled lovingly at him. "So, where's this peace and tranquillity then?"

"Out west…perfect for me and you" Jackson replied as he glanced over at him with a smile.

"And if you play your cards right, tonight could be the night" Aaron teased to which Jackson playfully glared at him in response. Aaron stared at him as he drove the car. "It's been a while hasn't it"

"Too long gorgeous" he replied while paying attention to the road.

"It'll be like a reawakening of sorts…"

Jackson frowned. "Did you swallow a dictionary or something?"

Aaron tutted. "No, I-I ju-…"

"I'm only joking" Jackson butted in. "That's lovely, what you just said…very meaningful and I know it will be, a reawakening just like you said"

Aaron smiled happily. "I've missed you Jackson, I'm so glad I don't need the chair and the crutch anymore, I'm free now and we can make love again"

"It'll be amazing Aaron, better than ever I'll make sure of that"

"Me too, tonight…" he smiled. "I can't wait" he said as he settled comfortable in the seat and looked out of the window as Jackson drove and the world passed by.

* * *

**TBC…**


	46. One

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"One"**

* * *

***Sexual content***

* * *

Their cabin was stood in a small clearing then it became surrounded by the woods and ahead a lake with a few rowing boats for visitors to go fishing. Aaron smiled as he walked up to the steps of their home for the next week ; Jackson followed a step or two behind as he carried his case, he was smiling because he knew Aaron was, he loved making him happy. "Well, what do you think?"

"This is amazing babe, h-how did you manage it?"

"My mum knows someone, said we could stay oh and we won't be interrupted either" he told him with a grin.

"Sounds perfect" Aaron replied as he walked up the steps and stood on the decking, waiting by the front door for Jackson to unlock it.

Once inside Aaron walked through into the large open plan kitchen and living room. He was amazed. "This is brilliant Jackson"

"I'm glad you like it"

"I do, I really do" he replied as he walked around then suddenly stopped again at seeing a dining table all set up with two tall candles just waiting to be lit. He eyed Jackson suspiciously. "What's this?"

Jackson chuckled and walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around him. "This is all set up for an anniversary meal"

"What?" he frowned "O-our anniversary meal?"

Jackson rolled his eyes; Aaron could be clueless at times. "Do you see anyone else here?"

"No"

"Well then yeah it's for us, we missed the sixth month mark so I thought what the hell, we can still do it, only it's our eighth" he smiled.

Aaron turned his head and looked up at Jackson then slowly reached up with his hand and pulled his head close and then passionately kissed him, showing just how grateful he was. When they stopped for air Aaron bit his lip and sighed. "I-I didn't realise Jackson I-" he admitted sadly with tears in his eyes.

"Hey no it's alright Aaron, you've had other things to think about, your recovery. I wanted to do this for us, so I asked the owners to set it up…all we have to do is cook…well I am…I want you to rest" he told him with a smile.

"Jackson I can help"

Jackson shook his head. "Nope, you aren't doing a thing, the log fire…you go and chill on the rug in front of it" he told him with a beaming smile.

Aaron nodded. "Alright but I'm going for a smoke then I'm unpacking, only then will I relax"

Jackson rolled his eyes. "If you must"

Aaron nodded and kissed him quickly. "See you in a bit gorgeous" he told him before he walked to the double doors leading out onto the raised decking. He leaned against the railing and took out a cigarette from his pack and lit it then looked over at the lake, it was quiet the only sound came from the birds. He smiled to himself it was perfect, just what they needed.

…

It was dark outside by the time Jackson was dishing out their meal. He looked over at Aaron who was lying on the rug by the fire. He stared, completely and utterly in love with him. He had to shake himself sometimes; he'd been so close to losing Aaron on countless occasions. It was moments like that, just staring that were the moments to savour. When he'd finished he called over to Aaron as he placed their plates down on the table. Aaron didn't answer and Jackson smiled as he walked over to him. His heart melted when he saw he was asleep. "Oi cutie wake up" he said as he knelt down beside him.

Aaron groaned then quickly sat up. "W-what?"

"Dinners ready babe"

Aaron smiled and got up as did Jackson. Stopping at the table Jackson pulled Aaron's chair out for him and motioned for him to sit, a cheeky smile seemed to be permanently on Jackson's face, as Aaron sat down Jackson pushed the chair in. "Good?" Jackson checked as he walked to his seat on the opposite end.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, perfect, this all looks amazing thank you" they both had a sirloin steak with vegetables and chunky chips, he'd only had home-made chunky chips from Jackson once before and from what he remembered they were amazing, he couldn't wait to dig in.

Jackson raised his glass filled with lager and motioned for Aaron to aswell. He did quickly so Jackson began. "It's been a horrible year Aaron, but now hopefully we can start our lives" he smiled happily. "I love you Aaron, to us"

"To us" Aaron said with a smile then took a sip of his lager. "I love you too"

A while later Aaron sat back with his hands on his stomach. "Oh my god I'm stuffed"

"Me too, I think we should leave dessert"

Aaron nodded. "Good idea" he replied then stood up. "I'll clear up, you rest" he told him as he picked up his plate and Jackson's. Only he froze, his eyes had locked on Jackson's, he couldn't move, the look in Jackson's eyes had neutralised him completely and he was becoming aroused very quickly. Aaron kept his gaze on Jackson as he got to his feet and slowly took the plates from Aaron's hands and put them back on the table.

"Those can wait don't you think?" Jackson asked in a quiet but deep voice that ran wild on Aaron's senses causing a definite reaction.

Aaron swallowed hard. Jackson was so close; they'd not been this close in an intimate way in a very long time. He was quite nervous actually, but he felt safe and loved. He nodded quickly and with a raspy voice he replied. "Yeah…B-…But this can't" ignoring his nerves he closed the very small gap that existed between them and he wrapped his arms around Jackson's neck and kissed him. Jackson instantly allowed Aaron entry and their tongues swiped and rubbed against one another. The kiss became heated and in frenzy they both began to undo each other's pants and push them down as far as they could whilst standing. Moans and deep groans filled the cabin as they kissed frantically, wanting each other so much. In a second Jackson lost his footing and he fell to the floor, on the rug to be precise by the burning log fire. Aaron fell too and landed on top of Jackson. He chuckled as he sat up on top of him.

Quickly Aaron removed his t-shirt and got up briefly to remove the rest of his clothes, while he did that Jackson removed his own, revealing his erection. Aaron smirked at the sight of it and bit his lip. Jackson was his and he was going to give him the night of his life, it had been far too long.

Jackson moaned as he felt the warm skin of Aaron's backside on his cock. He began to straddle Jackson slowly, rubbing his arse along his long, thick shaft. He leaned down over him, his hands roaming his fine smooth body as they kissed once again, then he nibbled, sucked and bit on Jackson's neck, the groans of pleasure coming from him added to his own arousal and it was certainly felt in his cock, a tightness, a throbbing that needed to be expelled…but that could wait.

Aaron slowly lowered himself down over Jackson; he kissed and licked down the centre of his body, his lips gliding over Jackson's six pack muscles. Aaron groaned Jackson was perfect. Then in seconds there it was, Jackson's bulbous head throbbing at his lips. Aaron grinned and flicked it with his tongue causing Jackson to throw his head back as he hissed in pleasure.

Aaron tightly locked his lips around his boyfriends cock and he began the up and down motions, and he jerked it at the same time with one hand and with the other he cupped his balls in his hand and stroked and pulled at them. A few minutes later Aaron pulled away and watched as Jackson's soaked wet cock slapped back down onto his stomach. Aaron grinned and moved to kiss him, so he could taste himself. It was such a turn on. As they kissed Aaron fingered himself, to ease his hole open a little so he could take Jackson inside him.

"I want you" Jackson whispered against Aaron's lips.

"You're getting me" Aaron replied equally as quiet as he sat up and with his hand behind him around Jackson's cock he guided it towards his hole. Aaron moaned when he felt it against the waiting entrance, he couldn't wait any longer so he pressed down on it, he hissed as the head broke through his tight ring.

Aaron rested his hands on Jackson's chest as he began to lift himself up and down on it. Jackson lifted himself up and licked and sucked Aaron's nipples, occasionally flicking them with his tongue, it made Aaron bounce faster and harder on his cock. He'd missed this, groans and sighs escaped both men as the made love. Jackson lay back down and held Aaron's necklace with the ring on it in his hand and he gently pulled Aaron down for a kiss. Jackson couldn't just let Aaron do all the work and while he was semi distracted by the kiss Jackson thrust his cock hard into Aaron, a loud groan escaped him it caught him off guard, Jackson forced his rod deep inside and he kept going, none stop thrusts fucking Aaron as they were locked in a passionate kiss. As Jackson's thrusts continued Aaron tightened his arse muscles and Jackson definitely felt it, if the moan escaping him was anything to go by. Aaron kept doing it as he lifted his arse up and down his dick at the same time as the thrusts.

Aaron looked in Jackson's eyes as they made love, his hands roamed his now sweat glistened body. He could see it, Jackson was close, he tightened his arse muscles again and with a cheeky smirk he slammed himself down onto Jackson.

"Ah shit!" Jackson exclaimed. "Yes…Aaron…aa-arrgh!" Jackson shot hot thick loads of his juice into Aaron's hole. He dropped his head back in exhaustion. Aaron grinned and continued to slowly grind along his cock, he could feel Jackson's cum leaking from him, he fucking loved it! "Mmm" he sounded as he lifted up off him, and moved up his chest, he needed to release his own now and he jerked his cock while Jackson sucked his head. Moments later Aaron's entire body tensed and shuddered as his heavy load was released into Jackson's mouth, when he was fully spent Jackson pulled him down for a kiss, a kiss in which they shared his load. Aaron didn't mind it, it was something they did the first time they made love on Titanic and Jackson certainly didn't mind he could have pulled away at any time but he never had once in all their sexual encounters. Aaron chuckled. "You love that don't ya?"

Jackson nodded. "Yeah" he said as he wrapped his arm around him as they now lay side by side on the rug. "It's you though innit…there's no reason I wouldn't love it, it comes from you"

Aaron smiled and rested his head on Jackson's chest. "I love you Jackson"

"I love you too babe, that was amazing"

"It really was" Aaron told him and soon they both fell asleep together, bare-naked on the rug.

It was safe to say that both lads had undergone that reawakening Aaron had so philosophically mentioned. They were once again, one.

* * *

**TBC…**


	47. Day One

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Day One"**

* * *

Aaron quickly and desperately tried his best to keep up with Jackson as he stormed ahead in a major huff. Aaron found it hilarious, despite not knowing what he'd said out in the row boat on the lake. Aaron chuckled as he still tried to keep up. "I know I should know this babe but, are you mad at me?" Jackson didn't utter a word "Jackson!" Aaron called after him with a sigh. "Ahh come on this isn't funny, my legs hurting now"

Normally Jackson would have stopped out of concern, and yes he was concerned for him upon hearing that but he was too pissed off and he could have just been saying it. He ignored him and carried on.

"What did I say? Is it what I think it is? Or is it something else that you haven't told me about? Or is it something you just think I did?" Aaron asked quickly and Jackson turned to face him, a thunderous look cast over to Aaron.

Aaron swallowed hard and stopped smirking. "No I did something, it was a bad thing a bad, bad thing and I'm sorry" he apologised but began to laugh. "Ahh come on Jackson!" he yelled and seconds later he finally caught up to him, grabbing his arm to stop him. Jackson stood stone faced.

"Come on you've got to talk to me...or are you gunna wait till we're inside..." Jackson averted his eyes from Aaron; his silence gave him his answer. "Yep you are aren't ya?"

Jackson turned quickly and continued on his way. Aaron started to chuckle, he found it quite hilarious.

Once inside the cabin Jackson went mad and almost slammed the door in Aaron's face. Aaron frowned and tutted as he stopped the door and walked in after him.

"Yes a bad thing Aaron, you know you said it!" Jackson told him angrily with an edge of frustration.

"I didn't mean it, whatever I said"

"Yes you did, you mean everything you say" Jackson spoke sharply with a deep frown on his face.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Well sometimes I mean nothing when I say something"

Jackson removed his jacket and flung it onto the sofa. "Something is never nothing, it's always something"

Aaron frowned and let out a heavy sigh. "Well most of what I say is nothing it's just something to say"

"No, Aaron! You say it's just something to say in order to get away with saying something, but you know you're saying something every time you say it" Jackson's rampage continued and he stormed around the living room and kitchen of their cabin tidying away things that were left lying around.

Aaron shook his head, he was confused now. "Say what? What did I say?"

Jackson stopped what he was doing and faced him. His arms flung around angrily as he began. "We were on the row boat, you caught a fish, you lost your grip, you fell back and lost us our oars, then said one or both of us is gunna die from water, and you laughed!" he raged as if he was completely mental "Well I am sorry!" he shouted. "But considering our history I didn't find that very amusing! Oh and thanks for the splash by the way when you decided to jump in for the oars!"

Aaron stood with his hands on his hips and he shrugged, smirking still, but the penny had dropped. "Ah well I'm sorry but I do find it amusing, come on you should be happy I'm making light of it"

Jackson scowled at Aaron and shook his head. "Not really"

"Oh come on Jackson surely you'd take that any day over what I've been like the last several months"

"Don't even bring that into it Aaron!"

"God you're such a drama queen Jackson!"

Jackson began to walk off, his speed increasing and as he slammed the door joining the small hallway he yelled back "And you're such an insensitive prick!"

Aaron growled in frustration and stormed through the same way Jackson had gone and walked into the bathroom and slammed the door. Aaron sat on the toilet seat. "Well that was different" he mumbled to himself. "Okay maybe it was a bit too-" he stopped and sighed then got to his feet and opened the bathroom door at the same time Jackson was coming out of the bedroom. Aaron smiled a little at Jackson when their eyes locked. "Are we done?"

Jackson instantly walked up to him and pushed him up against the wall and kissed him passionately, it was deep and sensual. Seconds later Jackson began kissing his neck.

"I'm sorry…" Aaron moaned. "I _was_ insensitive I-...it won't happen again"

"No...No" Jackson breathed heavily as he spoke in between kissed. "I overreacted I'm sorry babe"

Seconds later Aaron groaned as Jackson increased pressure from his crotch onto Aarons. In that moment Aaron pushed Jackson back into the bedroom.

…

Several hours later Jackson woke to find Aaron wasn't beside him, he frowned and got out of bed and simply followed the smell of bacon back to the kitchen. "Mmm" he mumbled when he stopped in his tracks at Aaron cooking naked. "Naked chef eh? God that's such a turn on!" he told him as wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Well I thought why not, it's just us" Aaron said with a smile. "And you obviously had the same idea when you woke up because I can feel how happy you are to see me"

"I'm always happy to see you" Jackson replied in between planting kisses on his neck.

"Just thought I could make something for us, we kinda worked up an appetite earlier…again…and I'm not complaining…"

Jackson grinned. "Good, me either and yeah I'm starving…" he frowned and looked for a clock but he couldn't see one and he'd left his watch on the bedside table. "What time is it babe?"

"Erm, about half seven I think, we were at it for a while then we were asleep for a few hours" Aaron told him as he saw to the bacon. "Perfect way to spend the afternoon if you ask me"

"Certainly is" Jackson said with a smile. "So, I was thinking we could go for a walk by the lake tonight"

"In the dark?" Aaron asked bluntly.

"Yeah why not? Could be kinda hot if you're thinking what I'm thinking"

Aaron chuckled. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about Jackson…" he teased. "I mean sex outside at night, no one around, the excitement of it…no of course not; I wouldn't want to do that at all"

Jackson grinned, seeing through his pretend response. "It might not though, it might just end up being a nice romantic walk with the man I love…that would just be as amazing"

Aaron smiled and leaned back against Jackson, letting out a content sigh, as he relaxed into him. "We'll eat these and then we'll put some clothes on and go"

"You can keep them off I really don't mind" Jackson chuckled.

"Yeah, like that's gunna happen" Aaron said as he laughed and slapped him on the top of his leg. He then stood properly and deciding the bacon was ready he took them from the pan and put them into the buns that were cut waiting on the plates.

…

The sky was filled with stars and the full moon shone bright in the sky, Aaron and Jackson held hands as they walked along the edge of the lake, a light breeze brushed gently across their faces but it was not too cold, it was quite refreshing actually, just what the boys needed after an afternoon indoors. "I still can't believe you couldn't reel that fish in this morning, how hilarious that was you falling back into the boat"

Aaron smirked. "It must have been massive, I'm strong" he nodded, convincing himself of that fact.

"But the fish was stronger yeah?" Jackson sarcastically asked with a nod

"Of course" Aaron played along. "And about this morning I'm sorry for what I said"

"We've already sorted that"

Aaron nodded. "I know but I wanted to apologise again"

Jackson smiled. "Well you're forgiven"

Aaron smiled also and a content silence fell around them until he spoke again a few minutes later. "Did you ever think you'd be a dad? Even knowing you were gay but hiding it? Did you ever imagine there'd be a possibility it could have happened?"

Jackson pouted as he thought about it. "I never wanted to be because I knew what I was inside, I didn't choose to be gay but that comes with no children, I wasn't bothered so I never really thought about it…Sam started bringing the subject up I sidestepped the issue for a long time, and then Titanic came along and I met you, I ignored it completely but told her bluntly I didn't want kids…I'd fell head over heels in love with you by that point already so nothing else mattered"

Aaron smiled as he listened to his words.

"So, no I never thought I'd be a dad, nor there be a possibility of it but obviously now I have Jak so we weren't as careful as I thought we were" he said with a sigh.

"But now you have him?"

"It changes everything Aaron…w-when I held him for that first time something just changed inside me, like a paternal instinct just switched on inside, I loved him immediately, because he's mine" he sighed and shrugged. "It's weird how things play out isn't it?"

Aaron nodded silently as he reflected on what Jackson had said. "Yeah" he mumbled. "I-I'm not sure if it's a paternal instinct for me but there is a bond between me and Jak, I can feel it and its getting stronger, I know I'm not blood family to him and if I'm honest I still see him as just yours, that might never change I'm not sure"

"That's understandable" Jackson said with a nod.

"But I will protect him with my life if I have too, I'll look after him and I'll help him whenever he needs it"

Those words from Aaron brought tears to Jackson's eyes, he wiped them away quickly _Wow _he thought to himself. "You're amazing" Jackson told him with a smile.

Aaron turned to face Jackson as they walked. "And I'd protect you with my life too, I mean it"

"I know, so would I" Jackson replied.

Aaron smiled and leaned closer as they walked and kissed him on the cheek. "He looks so much like you"

Jackson chuckled. "Yeah, he does, doesn't he? I bet you were a cute baby with that little frown going on"

Aaron pulled a shocked expression. "I'm not always frowning you know!"

"You frown at everything!" Jackson argued as he laughed.

"Hmm, yeah alright…I suppose"

Jackson laughed louder. "See! I can see it even in this light!"

Aaron smirked and tried to stop his frown. "You're mean"

"And you love it!"

Silence passed easily between them as they carried on walking. Jackson cocked his head to his side, he'd been wondering. "How many men have you been with?"

Aaron frowned he wasn't expecting that. "Erm…two…you and Mark" he replied before swallowing hard.

Jackson then stopped and placed his hands on Aaron's shoulders. "Right, don't kick off babe cause I'm not mad anymore but…but why?"

Aaron frowned. "That's like asking me why does Monday come before Tuesday" he shrugged. "I don't know"

Jackson nodded and looked out at the lake briefly before looking back at him. "You must know…in fact I think you do you're just scared of telling me…please I want to know why"

Aaron sighed and looked down at the ground. "I just hated our-my life as it was then, I hated it, I felt like you didn't want me, I wanted someone who gave me the attention that I needed, I-I did it to get away from you" he said quietly as he still stared down at the ground as he gave his reason.

"Right" Jackson said with a nod. "Okay…I-I…"

"No wait, Jackson" Aaron cut him off in a panic. "You…you have to know I don't feel like that anymore, you're the one that I want alright, I mean it, y-you just asked and you wanted an answer…I'm not going to lie now after everything"

Jackson smiled. "I was only going to say that I hope you don't feel the need to get away from me again"

Aaron's heart settled back in its rightful place in his chest upon hearing those words, a relief washed over him and he shook his head. "It won't I promise you" he said as a small smile crept on his lips.

"Good" Jackson smiled and kissed him softly but then Aaron pulled away quickly. Jackson frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I heard something"

"It's probably an animal" Jackson chuckled. "Relax"

Aaron stared into the trees, a hard frown on his face as he tried to see if anyone was there, it was too dark it was pointless; he sighed and tried to relax. "Sorry" he apologised.

"No need to apologise, why don't we head back? I'll drop you off at the cabin then I'll head along to the log station to get some for the fire"

"Erm alone?"

"Yeah why not?"

"Because its pitch black that's why"

"I'll take a lamp"

"Oh I dunno babe, it can just wait till morning, I don't like the idea of you out there alone"

"Come with me then"

"I just jumped at the slightest noise, I'm no good to you out there" Aaron laughed.

"Alright, well it'll only take ten minutes and I'll be alright"

Aaron nodded and smiled and they both headed back. Once they were back at the cabin, Jackson told him he'd be ten minutes at the most and Aaron told him to be careful, his little fright from the noise in the woods still unsettled him. They parted ways and Aaron locked the door of the cabin and started getting ready for a nice evening in, as he undressed he took his necklace off and took the ring off from it and happily and with pride placed it on his finger, it was better there.

He smiled down at it as he sat on the bed but he was startled by a knock on the door. He jumped to his feet and pulled on a t-shirt quickly. "What you knocking for ya numpty, you've got a key!" he mumbled to himself. He unlocked the door and his eyes widened and he jumped back in shock. "Oh my god!"

Adam stood grinning at him. "L-listen before you start I know this holiday was just for you and Jackson and I'll go back tomorrow but I-I had to see ya mate…tell you something though, finding this in the pitch black is hard"

Aaron stared at him, completely stunned, he couldn't move. Adam chuckled and walked in and grabbed him in a hug. "Missed ya mate!"

"Uh, yeah…you too…" he pulled away and closed the door and walked through into the lounge. "I don't know what the hell just happened" he shook his head.

Meanwhile in the woods Jackson was nearly at the log station when he heard footsteps behind him. He smirked. "I told you to stay in the cabin"

Immediately the lamp he was carrying was swiped out of his hand and thrown to the ground causing it to smash and Jackson was pushed up against a tree by a masked man, he gasped in shock, completely paralysed as the man fiddled with his pants. Jackson's eyes widened in horror, "No!" he yelled out as he tried to push away the man but he was too strong, he was pinned down by him. What he endured in the following minutes was the worst experience of his entire life…

…

"So it was you I must have heard then"

"How come?"

"Oh me and Jackson were walking along the lake, heard rustling in the trees"

"Oh right, I didn't know I was anywhere near water, concentrating too much on where I was going" he chuckled.

"So" Aaron grinned as he handed Adam a drink. "Your better? Like properly then?"

"Like properly yes" he laughed. "It was horrible though mate"

"You don't have to talk about it mate, it's alright" Aaron told him after he saw the discomfort show when he spoke of it being horrible.

Adam nodded. "So what's been going on with you?"

Aaron frowned. "Don't ask that, cause I know full well my mums briefed you already"

"Uh yeah, alright then" he then slapped him on the arm hard. "That's for being an idiot with Mark - again"

"Okay" Aaron nodded. "I deserved that"

"Damn right you did what the hell were you playing at"

"Needed an escape"

"Alright, we'll talk about it properly tomorrow but first where's Jackson? I never saw Jak properly before I left, didn't want to get too close but I held him this morning, he's gotten so big" he said with a smile.

Aaron matched his smile. "Was he ok?"

"Oh yeah, fine…Chas and Hazel are fine too"

"Good, Jackson's not here, he went out to get some wood for the fire, speaking of…he's been longer than ten minutes"

Adam frowned. "How longs he been gone?"

"Nearly half an hour" concern filled Aaron's tone as he walked away to get his shoes. "Gunna go out and have a look"

"Alright, I'll come with ya, but let me down this pint first eh? I haven't had a drink in god knows how long"

….

Jackson sat up against the tree sobbing; he shuffled to pull his pants back up. His entire body was shaking as tears ran down his face and he could feel blood running down the side of his face, something he'd got when he tried to fight back, his head was rammed into the tree. It hurt aswell as everywhere else. He sobbed as he buttoned up his pants. All of a sudden he heard footsteps getting louder and he panicked and put his hands over his head. "No, no don't!" he screamed.

Aaron stopped and looked on his horror and then looked at Adam whose expression matched. Aaron then ran to him. "Jackson, Jackson babe it's me" he told him as he fell to his knees by his side.

"No, no! Go away!" Jackson yelled.

Aaron grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "It's me babe, Aaron…it's Aaron…y-you're safe now…I'm here" he frowned, what the hell had happened, answers however would have to wait, his main concern at that moment was getting Jackson back inside.

Jackson lifted his head up and through his teary eyes he stared at Aaron, he calmed down a little when he realised it was him.

"Come on, we'll get you back" Aaron smiled nervously, but inside he was scared to death. "Give me a hand mate"

Adam nodded and jumped into action and helped Jackson along, back to the cabin.

* * *

**TBC…**


	48. Into Darkness

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Into Darkness"**

* * *

_Hi guys, I know this is M rated anyway but there's a part(s) that you may find upsetting and disturbing, quite different to my norm._

* * *

Once back inside the cabin, Aaron let go of Jackson and locked the door. Adam helped Jackson into the living area and sat him down on the sofa as Aaron continued around locking the windows aswell.

As he walked into the living area Aaron simply cried silently as he looked at the state Jackson was in. Adam looked at Aaron and placed his hand on his shoulder, a show of his support that he was there. "Why?" Aaron asked quietly as he shrugged his shoulders. "What could have happened?

Adam motioned his head in the direction of Jackson. "Mate, you need to ask him, he's in a really bad way, he needs you right now"

"I'm scared Adam" he admitted in a hushed voice. "J-Jackson's always the strong one…I-I d-don't know what…" his words trailed off and he sighed.

"Hey" Adam soothed him. "You can do this mate and I'm here for you both"

Aaron nodded and slowly began to walk over to Jackson, then sat beside him. "What happened babe?"

Jackson frowned, the truth. He shook his head slightly at his own thoughts, he couldn't say it, he couldn't say what had happened, not the truth, what would they think of him? He knew the answer but it wasn't the answer he was thinking of, his head was all over the place. "S-someone, a-a a man came at me, rammed my head into the tree and t-the loose money in my pocket, th-the notes...h-he took it and ran, I was so scared" he explained as he sat rocking back and forth, "I-I thought I'd never see you again"

"Hey" Aaron soothed. "You're safe now Jackson, you're safe and I won't let anyone hurt you again" he told him as he moved to put his arm around him, he frowned when Jackson flinched, but after what he'd just been through Aaron understood why. "It's alright" he told him with a gentle nod then moved his arm around him, this time Jackson allowed it.

"Do you want me to call your mum?" Adam asked as he stood looking on.

"No, no!" Jackson barked, startling both of them.

Aaron rubbed his forehead and sighed. "There isn't one here anyway mate; you'd have to go into the town"

"That's fine with me mate" Adam replied quickly.

"I said no, alright, mum and Chas have got Jak, the last thing they need is a phone call worrying about me I'm fine!" Jackson told them quickly and stood up.

"But you're not though babe" Aaron told him gently, he didn't want his head bitten off. Jackson ignored him however and slammed the bathroom door shut behind him.

Aaron decided to give him a few minutes, his mind ran round in circles wondering why someone could do that to someone else, mug them and especially when the place was deserted, or was thought to be. Why could someone do it? He was raging inside and as he let out a deep breath he got up and walked calmly to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Will you let me in Jackson? I just need to know that you're okay"

"I am" Jackson replied from the other side of the door.

"Well I'd rather see babe...I-I need to clean that cut for starters"

"I can do it"

Aaron sighed but he wasn't giving up. Hesitantly he began to speak "I'd prefer it if I did, you're in no state Jackson…please"

Seconds later Aaron watched as the door handle was pushed down and the door opened slowly. Aaron smiled warmly at Jackson. Jackson wasn't really there though; he was shifty, his eyes looking everywhere especially as he stepped out of the bathroom. "H-Have you locked up?" he asked quietly

Aaron instantly nodded "First thing I did…everything is locked, even the windows" he smiled again to reassure him.

Jackson nodded and allowed himself to be led to the kitchen by him. As Aaron got him sat down Adam walked over. "Aaron give me your key"

"Why?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"Because I'm going to try and find the scum bag that did this to him"

"No" Aaron shook his head. "None of us are going out there until the sun comes up, you got that?"

"I-I thought you'd be the first to go if Jackson wasn't in this state…w-why won't you let me?"

"Adam I appreciate what you want to do and trust me I do want to go out there and find who did this and make him pay…but my own feelings aside I have Jackson to consider, I have to be with him and trust me, I'm not leaving his side and I don't want you going out there just for the same thing to happen to you"

"He wouldn't get a chance mate"

"No, and I'm sure Jackson wouldn't have given him the chance either but he was obviously caught off guard, you're not going, sorry mate end of" he let out a deep breath. "He's probably long gone anyway"

"Well for his sake I fucking hope he is"

Aaron nodded and he set about cleaning away the blood from down the side of Jackson's face. He frowned and looked up at Adam who was stood behind the chair in which Jackson was sat. Aaron sighed as he started to speak. "Don't suppose you can do stitches can ya?" he shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"It's alright Aaron" Jackson told him.

"No, Jackson it's not, it's bad and it's still bleeding"

"Actually, don't laugh but I can yeah" Adam replied with a nod. "And we're hours from a hospital that is the only reason why I'm doing it…needle and thread please…don't say you haven't got any after all of this"

Aaron stood up. "I know where there is some" he told them and walked off.

Adam moved round to the front of Jackson and smiled. "You'll be alright mate"

Jackson sighed. "Don't feel like I will be"

"You will, you're in good hands"

Jackson remained silent but nodded at Adam's words.

A while later the cut had been stitched up by Adam and Jackson was now standing in the shower with his forehead against the wall, his eyes closed tightly. Slowly he moved his hands around to his lower back and then moved them further down, once there he placed two fingers between his buttocks and winced in pain, in a second he felt it, the intruder's sperm. Jackson's entire body shook as an onslaught of tears escaped him and a cry that was so powerful it hurt his throat. As he cried he washed every inch of his body clean; several times.

Adam walked into the living area and looked at Aaron who was sat with his elbows on his legs and his head in his hands. He sat beside him and nudged him, when Aaron looked up he handed him a tumbler with whisky in it. "Thought you might need it"

Aaron scoffed and nodded. "Cheers" he thanked him then in a split second he downed the lot then put the glass down. "Yep, I needed that"

"Do you think he's okay?"

Aaron shrugged. "I honestly don't know well no he's not but I don't know how bad he is, he might be a bit better in the morning who knows?" as he spoke he swore he could hear something outside, footsteps possibly, he frowned and Adam quickly saw it. "What?" he asked.

"Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Footsteps"

"Are you going daft?" Adam asked. "There is no way the guy who did that to Jackson would come back, this place is deserted mate and I mean creepily deserted, there's not a soul here"

"But there was" Aaron said while looking Adam straight in the eye. "And still might be" he told him as he got to his feet.

"Aaron!" Adam called to him in a quieter voice as he come around to the possibility Aaron was right.

"Shh!" Aaron hushed him as he peaked out of the patio doors from behind the curtain. All he could see was darkness, it unnerved him and if someone was there they'd most definitely see him so he quickly put the curtain back and stepped away. "I'll go and check on him" he told Adam and as he walked along to the bathroom Jackson emerged in his pyjamas.

"How are you feeling?"

Jackson nodded and managed a faint smile. "Clean. Had blood in my hair and it was horrible" however his use of the word clean had a completely different meaning for him.

Aaron nodded sympathetically. "I love your curls" he said as he reached out and ran his hand through his wet hair.

Jackson's smile widened just that little more. "I love you, I-I'm sorry about this"

"Don't be daft, this isn't your fault"

"How can you be so sure? He could have been watching us…saw what we are and didn't like it…wanted t-..t…to" he stuttered as his mind raced. "…punish us but he only got me"

"Jackson who knows?" Aaron said as he placed his hands in Jackson's and rubbed the back of his hands with his thumbs. "If that's why he did what he did then he's sick, he caught you off guard that's all and I'm not going to let anything or anyone hurt you again, do you hear me?"

Jackson nodded slowly. "I-I'm going to go to bed, do you mind?"

"No, of course not" Aaron told him. "I'll pop in and check on you in a bit, no one can get in here okay, where are your clothes?"

"Oh, erm in the bathroom" Jackson replied.

"It's alright; I'll get them…night gorgeous"

Jackson smiled weakly and turned and walked over to the bedroom.

Aaron walked back to the kitchen as Adam spoke. "How is he?"

Aaron pouted and shook his head. "He thinks whoever did this must have seen me and him together and did what he did to punish him"

"It's was only a mugging, if the guy feels so strongly about gays then surely he'd do something that has a bit more of a lasting effect?"

Aaron blew out a deep breath and shrugged. "Like? I don't know mate I really don't, I'm tired, worried, and on edge to be honest, I-I can't even think straight…and don't, no jokes now eh…before you start" Aaron told him with a smile before he turned back. "I'll be back in a sec" he walked into the bathroom and picked Jackson's clothes up off the floor and walked into the kitchen and placed them on the bench, then took Jackson's pants in his hands and started to absent-mindedly double check the pockets in case anything was left in them as he spoke to Adam. Seconds later Aaron's words cut off abruptly which caused Adam to frown, Aaron looked down and pulled his hand from the pocket; however in his hand were the loose notes of money Jackson had previously mentioned had been taken, he held them up to show Adam.

"Eh?" Adam asked as he got up and walked over. "H-he said he was mugged"

Aaron nodded his eyes were wide as he stared at nothing in particular. He swallowed hard and turned his gaze back to Adam. "Yeah, he did…I want to know what the hell's going on"

"Well don't go marching in there to him; I'm sure he'll tell you in his own time"

"I can't wait that long!" Aaron said as he flung Jackson's pants back on the bench and stormed over to the door and pulled his jacket off from the hanger.

"No!" Adam pointed in a panic. "You are NOT going out there?"

"Oh am I not Adam?" Aaron snapped as he threw on his jacket then he faced him. "There is someone out there, I can sense it! Now you aren't stopping me alright, I'm upset, I'm angry, someone's hurt _my_ Jackson, mine; Adam! And for reasons I can't fathom he's lied about what actually happened, now I will find this guy and I'll find out what went on then I'll make him pay, mark my fucking words" he finished and he unlocked the door and ran out.

As he ran out he heard a faint laughter and footsteps quickly moving away at a fast pace.

"COME HERE YOU SCUM!" Aaron screamed as he followed the sound of the footsteps.

Adam had his head in his hands and he shook his head, he had to think quickly, what to do…. He sighed. "Jackson!" he called out along the passageway to the bedroom. "We've got a big, big problem!"

* * *

**TBC…**


	49. Because I Can

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Because I Can"**

* * *

Surprisingly Jackson was drifting off, and had heard nothing until Adam shouted for him. He frowned and jumped out of bed, he sounded worried from the sound of it. He quickly flung the bedroom door open and squinted because of the bright light in the hallway; he looked at Adam at the other end of it. "What? What's wrong?"

"It's Aaron…mate…h-he got your clothes from the bathroom and went through your pockets to double check for anything before he put them in the washing bag…he…" Adam sighed, he felt sad too, something much worse had happened and he had no idea what. "He found those loose notes of money you said were taken when you were attacked…"

Jackson closed his eyes and lowered his head. He'd forgotten about the money, he hadn't been thinking straight after the rape, the thought of throwing the money as a cover did enter his mind but for some reason he didn't get rid of it. He'd not realised until Adam told him.

"A-And now Aaron's gone out chasing some guy in the patch black woods Jackson, he thought he heard footsteps before…"

"What?! No…h-he he's not safe!" Jackson told him in a hurry as he walked to the door and grabbed his own jacket and began to put his shoes on.

"A-and when he opened the door he must have been there cause I heard another set of footsteps before Aaron even moved, w-what are you doing?"

"I'm going to get Aaron"

"You have no idea where he is Jackson!"

"Tough! I have to find him he's not safe"

Adam sighed. "Well you're not going alone"

"Fine but just hurry up" Jackson told him as he opened the door and stood looking out into the darkness.

….

"We've been out here for an hour Jackson; I haven't heard or seen a thing"

Jackson nodded. "I know that"

"And in the past hour you haven't said a word and to be honest I'm not very happy at the minute, what the hell happened Jackson? What did he do to you?"

"Nothing alright, forget it, I'll be fine"

"No Jackson!" Adam began to raise his voice. "I won't forget it, you are my family and it might not look like it but I'm worried about you, I want to help"

"You can't!" Jackson bit back.

"No, you're right I can't, you won't talk! Both of you are falling apart, Aaron's ran out in a rage after this guy, who has done something to you that you won't tell me about! So NO! Jackson I can't help you or Aaron unless you speak up!" he shouted but instantly regretted his outburst.

….

Aaron stopped against a tree in the darkness, out of breath and struggling for air. He had no idea how long he'd been running for. He was bowled over in agony as his lungs and muscles in his legs burned. He sharply looked to his side when he heard leaves crunching but further back from his limited field of view, his eyes had adjusted and the moon light helped but still it wasn't a lot that helped. Aaron swallowed hard. "Who's there?"

The eerie laughter sounded again as a figure came into view. Aaron quickly stepped away. "I-I want to know what you did to him" he bravely uttered the words.

"I-I watched you both since you arrived, two men…hmmm…then I thought I had to do something about that"

"And what exactly did you do?"

"Oh you know, taught him a lesson…" the man replied as he stepped forward, the moonlight through the trees slowly revealed his face.

Aaron grimaced. The man was pale, a long scar was etched into his left cheek, his eyes were big, his hair long, messy and certainly not clean, the man overall was unkempt and dirty. "What did you do?" Aaron asked nervously with a raise of his voice, he was scared to death.

"T-the way you walked hand in hand earlier, the conversations you had, it's sick!" the man edged closer making Aaron move further back a lot quicker. "A-And to put your lips on his!" the man grimaced.

"I don't live in the same world as you, to me, to us… to our family and friends it's normal"

In response to Aaron's words the man lunged forward with his hand outstretched to grab him but Aaron kept moving. "A-alright…m-mate just relax yeah…I don't think you're well"

The man began to laugh. "That's what they all say; it's what he said after I was done"

Aaron's eyes narrowed at him. "They all say? Done? Done what? What the hell did you do to my boyfriend?"

Outraged, the man swung for Aaron and his fist connected with his cheekbone and knocked him to the ground. Aaron winced in pain and tried to get his bearings but he couldn't, the man had his feet either side of his body, the next thing Aaron knew the man was leaning down and tugging at his t-shirt. He tried to wriggle away but the man's hand gripped tightly around Aaron's neck, choking him as he ran his free hand over Aaron's flat smooth stomach. "GET OFF" Aaron croaked as he struggled to free himself. In that split second, his question was answered, he knew what the man had done to Jackson and now he himself was in danger.

Aaron gasped for air, he couldn't breathe he had to do something, anything to get him off him. Quickly he lifted his legs and forced a kick to the stranger's stomach which effectively flung him back. Aaron got to his knees and got his breath back.

…

Needing a break, Adam and Jackson sat in what looked like an open area. "He told me not to come out here, to wait till the sun came up…and what's he gone and done?"

Jackson sighed. "Circumstances changed; you know what Aaron gets like"

"That's what I'm scared of Jackson; please I know you're hurting I can tell. What did he do?"

Jackson blew out a deep breath and began "He raped me Adam. He raped me"

Adam's eyes widened in horror "H-he…raped you?" he felt sick.

Jackson nodded and dropped his head in his hands and sobbed

"Oh Jackson I'm so sorry" Adam told him as he put his arms around him and held him close.

"No, no don't be" he told him as the tears continued to run down his face. "I've never felt pain quite like it, I-it was a violation, an attack because of what I am, it has to be…b-but why would he do that then? It doesn't make sense"

Adam placed his arm around him and pulled him close. "Like you said maybe? Teach you a lesson"

"But by fucking me?"

"The fact you didn't want it aswell…"

….

Aaron got to his feet and stormed over to the stranger and grabbed him by the collar with his fist ready. "You are unwell! You hurt the best thing that has ever happened to me, what do you think I'm going to do?" Aaron screamed in a blind rage. That blind rage was overheard by Adam and Jackson and they were quickly on their way.

The man laughed. "You can't hurt me, you aren't in control, you're weak…I'm in control"

"No, you almost were…unlike my boyfriend you didn't catch me off guard"

The man cocked his head sideways and looked up at Aaron. "And what if you hadn't of kicked me away?"

Aaron clenched his jaw and bared his teeth. "I would have stopped you one way or the other!"

"Unlikely, I'd have had you pinned down, raping you and hurting you in the process" Aaron's angered expression worsened by the second. "Making you pay for what you are, a perverted sick human being!" he yelled in Aaron's face.

"What does that make you then?!" Aaron screamed and punched him in the face. "No one hurts him! No one! Do you hear me?!" he repeatedly asked as he landed blow by blow to his face.

The man laughed. "But I already have" he shrugged his shoulders. "He might think twice about touching you again, cleanse him, rid him of those twisted thoughts of wanting a man! Wanting to have sex with you" he told Aaron and laughed again. "I did it because I could, same for women who've come round these parts, because I can. Your sick boyfriend deserved it!"

Aaron punched him hard several times after his pathetic speech and found something to the side of him and he reached and grabbed it, a bulky round heavy branch, he held it in the air. "I-I swear to god I'll use it!"

The man laughed and got to his feet and stood face to face with Aaron. "What? You going to kill me?" he asked.

Aaron stepped back so he could if he had to get enough swing to whack him. "If I have too"

"You won't"

Aaron swallowed hard. "I've done it before; trust me I will do it again if necessary"

"You? A little thing like you…you killed someone? Funny" he scoffed. "Your boyfriend couldn't fight me off but you could…and he's much stronger"

"He was at a disadvantage"

"It was very easy"

Aaron remembered the last time he was as angry as he was then and that was the night he killed Carl.

He was struggling, he wanted so much to wipe that smug, disgusting grin from the psycho's face but something was stopping him, for now at least. "From behind I bet…yeah that's easy, that's a coward's way!"

"Either way I got what I wanted though didn't I? I pleasured myself and damaged him in the process, do you want damaged goods Aaron?" the man was stepping closer but Aaron was stood frozen as tears ran down his face. "It's not just been you inside him now…I bet that makes you want to throw up"

Aaron scowled as he remained staring at nothing, tears still falling.

"I imagine your little break away has been ruined"

Aaron scraped his tongue across his teeth and came out of his stare and glared at him. "I'd love to say no to make you feel like you haven't got what you wanted but yes you have ruined it, but I'm going to spend the rest of my life making his life alright for him, he didn't deserve this" he hissed angrily. "He didn't ask for it, a-and you well you probably didn't ask to be a psycho…I was too once, I didn't ask for it either but there's a significant difference between us, I only hurt myself physically and emotionally which yes inadvertently hurt my loved ones but I didn't phys-" he stopped and sighed, no he did physically hurt one of them.

The man grinned. "Quite similar really then I gather?"

Aaron nodded. "Still, it's completely different from what you go around doing, you're sick and you need help"

Quickly he punched Aaron again but it didn't knock him down this time just back, he quickly regained his balance. "I've had enough of this! You messed with the wrong bloke!" he growled and he swung the thick, heavy branch at him.

The man groaned in pain as it struck his ribs.

"You stay away from us! Stay the hell away or I will kill you!"

The man clutched at his ribs as he laughed and watched as Aaron got in his face. "Hurt does it? Good" he spat. "Stay away from us, if you don't" his breathing was heavy and trembling. "I will kill you"

"Do you think some words from a little kid like you are going to stop me?"

"I might be a kid in your eyes _mate _but I'm one hot headed, out of control lunatic when I want to be, and I advise you don't push me"

"What? Like this?" the man hissed and immediately Aaron was bowled over wincing in pain as the man had grabbed his balls and was increasing pressure quickly.

Aaron was red in the face; the veins in his neck were bulging. God it hurt!

"See that's the thing with pants like that, they're loose, easy to get too…I-I bet you've turned some heads? Another man's perhaps besides your boyfriend…I wouldn't blame them"

"Yeah, but that was a much more pleasurable experience" he told him quietly. "This is not" he told him.

"You're a tease Aaron"

Those words, they tipped him, he raised the piece of wood again and tightened his grip which caused his grazed knuckles from the punches to sting as the skin was being stretched, and he began to swing it.

"NO!" Jackson yelled and ran over. "AARON!"

Aaron suddenly stopped what he was doing and watched Jackson running toward him. He breathed a sigh of relief but he wasn't letting that sick man get away with what he had done to Jackson. He swung the wood again at speed, Aaron screamed in anger as he let it impact him, a loud crack could be heard and the man screamed in agony. Aaron kept hitting him, smashing the man's kneecaps and legs in the process.

"Aaron!"Jackson screamed. "Stop!"

"NO! Not after what he's done to you!"

"But I'm fine!" he sighed, Aaron was slipping further away, he walked over and pushed Aaron away, holding him tightly in his arms as he did so.

Adam walked over and looked down at the man, he was still conscious. "You got away with it lightly"

The man couldn't speak, the pain was too much.

Aaron turned around in Jackson's arms and hugged him tightly and he cried. "I'm sorry he hurt you, I-I should have come with you"

Jackson held Aaron's face in his hands and looked him in the eye. "No, don't think like that, don't even blame yourself, I went alone, I thought it was fine, that this place was deserted…I-I should have told you…b-but I couldn't Aaron"

Aaron nodded.

"Come on we're heading back" Jackson told him and turned back and walked over to Adam. He handed Aaron over to Adam and told him he'd catch up. When the lads were out of earshot Jackson knelt down in front of the man, teardrops hung on the verge of falling from his eyes.

"Now you know the pain I feel from what you've done to me, thing is your broken legs will heal, I'm not so sure if I will, you aren't fit to be alive, and Aaron, well…he would have killed you, did he tell you he's done it before?" the man nodded. "You underestimated him then, and you might think you've won for now because I will be uneasy with him, I won't want to be touched, and no, those scars will never go away but my insecurities and uneasiness will not last forever, so in the long run, what did you achieve really? I still love him and I will make love to him again…so" Jackson moved even closer to him and his tears fell. "You did this for nothing" he said through gritted teeth then he got to his feet and quickly and angrily he got his own revenge by kicking him in the face, knocking him unconscious. It disgusted Jackson as he walked away, that, that scum would wake up and live another day.

….

It was the early hours of the morning when all three of them arrived back at the cabin. Aaron was silent, coming down from the almighty adrenaline rush he had likely experienced. Jackson locked the door behind them and smiled slightly at Adam as he watched him walk Aaron through to the living area. Adam was always a tower of strength, the voice of reason, maybe things would have turned out differently before Aaron's accident if he'd been around, it made him wonder.

He followed them through and stopped when he saw Aaron looking at him with big teary eyes. He looked so sad. "Are you okay?" Aaron asked.

That question broke him down, the sadness, care and love in which it was asked. He sobbed and shrugged his shoulders. Aaron then quickly got off the sofa and hugged him. "It will be, I promise"

Jackson buried his head in Aaron's shoulder and stood crying in his arms.

* * *

**TBC…**


	50. Extreme Measures

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Extreme Measures"**

* * *

So this is my 50th chapter which makes this now my longest fic! :D I want to thank you all for continuing to read and review, your support means a lot, and even everyone who doesn't review that's fine :) I know you're there! I love writing and you guys just make me want to keep doing it so cheers x

This 50th chapter is from partly from Aaron's POV – also extreme violence, just a heads up.

* * *

_Jackson and Adam were still asleep when I left, I don't know how they manage it but I've not slept at all, Jackson h-he's a mess, I've sat watching him sleep for hours and all I wished was that I could take his pain away. When the sun started to come up I quietly got out of bed. _

_I was looking through the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen, as you do when you're bored. I'd never seen it before, but when I did I took it and quietly left the cabin. I'm walking back through the woods now. _

_I can feel the anger building again, I don't think it really left once I got back to the cabin, I-I just had to be there for Jackson. I can't believe that psycho! He hurt him! Jackson never breaks and now he has a-and I don't know what to do I've never had to save anyone before. I don't think I'm strong enough to get him through this, but…but there is one thing I can do. _

_It takes a while but I finally get there, I smirk, he's still here unconscious. I laugh as the tears break through and fall down my face, I raise my hand, it's an old thing, must have been there for years, I-I just knew what I had to do…I've already checked it's loaded. I take a deep breath and tighten my grip and slowly apply pressure to the trigger. "You will never, ever hurt anyone again" I utter through gritted teeth, my blood is boiling I can feel it, I'm all hot, I know what I'm about to do and I can't stop myself-I won't stop myself. Nobody hurts Jackson, especially in that violating way and gets away with it, I was stopped last night. I won't be stopped this time._

_I pull the trigger fully and I'm unaffected as the loud gunshot racks my hearing, and echoes through the woods and the only thing I do in reaction is close my eyes… and then I felt it. I grimace as the splattered blood of that psycho trickles down my face. I'm not fazed by what I see when I open my eyes. His facial features are unrecognisable. I lower my arm and put the gun back in my pocket and walk away, wiping that sicko's blood off my face as I do so. _

_I finally reach the edge of the woods and emerge at the lake, I look around and I know where I am now. Suddenly I catch sight of my jacket, it's a light colour, I sigh and berate myself, it's covered in blood, I have to get rid of it so I start to take it off. My pants and shoes are black, it can't be seen but I'll deal with them later. I pull out my match box from my pocket and look around, double checking the area; I don't know why there has not been a soul in sight since we arrived except him, still as expected I'm alone and I strike the match and drop it onto my jacket which is now on the ground, I step back and watch as it catches fire and burns. I'm not walking away yet I have to see that it is gone, completely; I don't have to wait long, the flames engulfed it and destroyed it completely in a minute or so. _

_I watch as the flames slowly died down and all that was left was a small pile of smoking ash. I'm satisfied. I make my way to the edge of the water now, I need to clean myself. _

_After walking along the edge of the water for what seemed like forever I can see the pathway now, I know full well what I've just done, I'm not panicking but I need to act normal, Adam and Jackson…well they just cannot know. After a while I reach the cabin again. I take a deep breath and walk up the steps to the raised decking and slowly push down the door handle. _

…

As Aaron walked into the cabin, he was ambushed immediately. "Where the hell have you been?" Adam barked angrily. "Jackson woke up in a right panic Aaron! He thought something had happened to you. I had to calm him down do you have any idea how long that took?"

"I'm sorry alright! I had no sleep so I went for a walk"

"A walk to where?"

"By the lake, the woods" he replied with a frown.

Adam's eyes narrowed at him. "Did you go back to him? That psycho? W-what have you done Aaron?"

Aaron scowled and barged passed him and stormed along the passageway to the kitchen, Adam followed behind. Once in the kitchen Aaron spun around to face him. "Why the hell would I go back to that freak? He raped Jackson, the man I love! And he nearly tried it with me"

"Alright" Adam said with a sigh. "I'm sorry I just thought…w-well I know what you can get like"

"Not this time Adam" it was a bare faced lie but he covered it extremely well.

"Well I'm sorry mate…Jackson got freaked out alright you should go and see him"

"Where is he?" Aaron asked.

"He's in the bathroom…oh"

"I'll wait then"

"Okay, get yourself sat down; I'll get you a drink"

Aaron swallowed hard as he turned and walked into the lounge and he slumped down into the sofa, almost immediately he felt the gun slide. His eyes widened in a quick rush of panic and he placed a cushion over his leg to hide it until he could get a chance to put it back where he'd found it.

Adam had finished making his drink and walked through and handed it to him. "Are you alright mate?"

Aaron nodded as he took a sip. "Yeah fine you?"

"Yeah not so bad just a bit freaked out about it all" he said as he caught sight of blood on the cuffs of Aaron's jumper, they were lighter than the rest of it.

"You and me both" Aaron replied.

"What's that blood off Aaron?" Adam bluntly asked, staring hard over at him.

Aaron frowned and an instant heat sensation washed over him and his heart flipped. He looked around. "Where?"

"On your cuffs?"

Aaron looked down and there they were the specs of blood. "Oh, must be his from when I was hitting him"

"Ahh" Adam replied with a nod. "I'll be back in a sec" he told him then got up and walked away unknowingly giving Aaron his chance to put the gun back. He quickly grabbed the gun and got off the sofa and rushed to the kitchen and opened the very bottom drawer and put it back.

Half an hour later Aaron got up off the sofa heaving a heavy sigh. "He's been in there ages, I'm going to see if he's alright"

Adam nodded and watched Aaron go. Adam frowned, while he'd been sat with him he asked where his jacket was and his reply was that he'd put it down somewhere and that Adam knew what he was like, and it was probably in the bedroom. It didn't make sense because he'd hung it up after they came in the previous night and then this morning it wasn't there and he wasn't wearing it and he hadn't been in the bedroom since he came back. Adam shook his head and put it down to recent events and the exhaustion he could be feeling.

…

When Aaron walked into the bathroom, the sight of Jackson cut a sad scene; he was sat, slumped down in the shower cubicle with the hot water falling onto him. Tears filled his eyes and his body shook with the emotions he was feeling.

"Jackson?" Aaron asked with a frown.

"Where the hell were you?" Jackson yelled as he cried.

"I had to get some air babe, I couldn't sleep, I should have left-"

Jackson cut him off. "I thought something horrible had happened to you!"

"I-I-I'm sorry Jackson, I really am...last night it was horrible, that man, I-I found out what he'd done to you because he pinned me down and ran his hand along my stomach"

Jackson's head dropped in his hands.

"But he didn't...and I'm fine, I-I'm not bothered about me anyway" he sighed and walked over and opened the cubicle door and stepped in fully clothed, the water began to soak him quickly. "I'm more concerned about you" he told him as he looked down at him then his tears fell as he lowered himself down.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting with you" he said with a gentle smile as he got himself as comfortable as possible. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he told him as he began to move his arm around him.

Jackson was watching carefully and he backed away a little. "No…d-don't…I-"

Aaron nodded but his heart sank and he tried to fight the tears, he had to be strong for him.

"I had a nightmare that he came back, that he got you and killed you, and then he came for me…"

Aaron slowly closed his eyes and then opened them again and looked at his boyfriend. "Babe, he's not coming back"

"How do you know?"

Aaron shrugged "I just do, I smashed his bloody legs in Jackson, and I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib or two before you two found us…I think, yeah I think he got the message" Aaron explained with a nod. "Do you want to go home Jackson?"

Jackson's expressions were none existent, seconds later he quickly nodded at Aaron.

"Alright, I'll go pack while you get yourself sorted"

"Change of clothes might help, you're soaked"

Aaron chuckled as he pulled himself to his feet. "Might do yeah, listen Jackson…it'll be alright you know" he told him as he looked down at his lover.

"Hmmm" was all Jackson said.

"I'll bring some clothes in for ya"

Jackson nodded and watched Aaron go, when the bathroom door was shut again, he reached over and pulled the cubicle door shut. He didn't want to get out yet.

…

It was lunchtime when the car pulled up outside their home. Aaron looked up at it as the car came to a full stop. It was a completely different world. Silence dominated the long drive back. "Before we get out of this car, my mum is not to be told. Not until I'm ready if I ever am, and we act whichever way we have to, to hide it. Is that understood?" Yes, it was a question but Jackson wasn't asking, he was telling and the boys picked up on that straight away. Aaron and Adam looked at each other then back at Jackson and nodded. "Good" Jackson said before he opened the door and got out, followed by them.

One by one, they all entered the house and the first thing they could see was Jak sitting in his rocking cradle, it brought a smile to them all, but then a familiar sound to Aaron began, a god awful rendition of something on the wireless, his mums attempt at singing. He rolled his eyes as they walked along the hallway.

When they entered the kitchen Jak laughed as he watched Chas dance around the kitchen as she sang. The sound of laughter filled Jackson with warmth and he just watched him. Slowly Adam crept up behind Chas and started dancing with her, when she felt him she jumped and screamed. Immediately she saw them all. "What ar-Why are you back? You've only been gone a day?" she frowned and looked at Adam and slapped him in the chest. "I told you not to go"

"Hey! It wasn't my fault, they were missing Jak…" he said as he rubbed his chest. Chas then turned her attention to Aaron and Jackson. Aaron was stumped; he didn't know what to say.

"Yeah, missed him" Jackson smiled. "There was nothing there anyway, n-n-nice though just way too quiet" he told her as he walked over and picked Jak up and kissed him on his forehead. "How's he been?" he asked as he kept his eyes on him.

Chas smiled. "Ah he's been brilliant"

Aaron nodded with a smile to his mum then carried on watching Jackson with Jak.

"Been a very good little boy, apart from throwing his tea all over Grandma Hazel" she informed them and sniggered. "Talking of which I'll give her a call, let her know your back"

"NO!" all lads shouted in unison, stopping her in her tracks, she frowned.

"What's going on lads?" she asked as she looked at all three of them.

"Nothing" Jackson chuckled. "W-We just want time to breath you know what she can be like" he explained. "I'll go and change his nappy and get him dressed, thanks for having him Chas"

"Aye and we'll go and get the stuff out of the car" Aaron said then shoved Adam toward the front door. Before leaving Adam gave Chas a quick kiss "Missed you babe" he told her before heading outside.

Chas smiled as she watched him go back out then turned her attention to tidying around the kitchen and living room.

…

Jackson was sat on the edge of his and Aaron's bed holding Jak in his arms; he was quickly dozing off to sleep. He smiled as he watched him with tears in his eyes and protectively he held him closer and tighter to his chest and he started stroking his soft cheek with the back of his index finger. "Look at you" Jackson began as a sob escaped him. "You're so innocent, not aware of the evil in this world. I never really realised till last night" his tears were in full swing now, they just kept falling. Jackson swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "But daddy promises, I will never let anything happen to you I promise Jak" he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead "Daddy will always be here to protect you ok?" he started to cry properly and sat rocking back and forth while cradling Jak.

Outside Aaron and Adam were at the back of the car and Adam had just pulled Jackson's suitcase out and down onto the path. "Do you think he's alright?" Adam asked.

"Yeah he's on top of the world Adam" he snapped then sighed "Sorry mate"

Adam frowned and stepped closer to him and squeezed his shoulders "Where did you really get to this morning Aaron? You've been acting weird ever since mate"

In a split second Aaron dropped the bag he was holding in his hands onto the road in a temper "For god sake Adam I went for a walk!" he moved closer to him and spoke through gritted teeth. "My boyfriend had just been raped" he said through gritted teeth "I needed some air" he told him angrily and stormed off into the house.

Adam sighed "I'll get these then shall I?" he asked as he watched Aaron walking into the house, he shook his head and reached down for Aaron's bag, closed the boot of the car and started pulling the suitcase along the path.

* * *

**TBC…**


	51. Affects

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Affects"**

* * *

The following morning Jackson woke up in a drenching sweat. His breathing was fast and his heart was beating faster than normal. He swallowed and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He looked over at Jak's cot and saw him awake just wriggling around, then he realised Aaron's side of the bed hadn't been slept in, a sadness hit him, he was pushing him away again, he knew that but it wasn't on purpose he just couldn't deal with his closeness at the moment. He blew out a deep breath and pushed back the duvet and walked to the cot and smiled down at Jak. "I won't be long" he told him then grabbed some clothes and headed to the shower.

Outside Aaron was sat outside on the front step puffing away on a cigarette; he was exhausted he hadn't slept since he left the cabin that night in search of answers and now the bags under his eyes just got worse by the day. He didn't sleep in his bed because he didn't want Jackson to have to face that prospect, not sex just him being there beside him, he didn't want him to have to deal with that aswell and he knew he wouldn't sleep it was pointless. He spent the night sat in the lounge with only the lamp on for light. He couldn't remember much of it actually, all he remembered was thinking of that man and asking himself why, then the rest was a blank until he realised the sun was coming up and he knew for a fact he didn't go to sleep. He blew out the smoke from his cigarette and he watched it, transfixed by it as the light breeze took it away; if everything was just that simple.

The opening of the front door caught his attention and he turned to see Adam walking out, it was his first day back on the farm, well so Aaron assumed by his clothes.

"Alright?" Adam asked.

"Does it look like I'm alright?"

Adam sighed and walked away, Aaron watched him as he finished his cigarette, he threw it away and got to his feet and walked back inside. When he walked into the kitchen Jackson was sat at the table with Jak in his rocking cradle. Aaron took his cigarette and match boxes from his pocket and placed them down on the bench.

"You didn't get in bed last night" Jackson began

"There wasn't any point, I couldn't sleep"

"And it's showing"

"Well there's not really much i can do about that Jackson is there?" he snapped then sighed. "You aren't looking your best either"

"At least I'm sleeping"

"Filled with nightmares though?"

Jackson simply nodded.

"If I could make them go away Jackson, I would" Aaron told him quietly.

"I know that" Jackson told him equally as quietly.

Aaron smiled slightly and moved to the rocker and as he approached Jak smiled at him which instantly made him smile just that little more. He reached out to unstrap him but was stopped straight away by Jackson. "Leave him"

Aaron frowned and looked at his boyfriend, confused. "I'm just gunna give him his breakfast"

Jackson shook his head. "I said leave him, I'm gunna do it"

"Oh, right" Aaron felt put out and moved away and sat at the far end of the table.

Minutes later Chas emerged from upstairs, now ready for work. "God I feel rotten this morning…" she stopped as she immediately picked up on the tense atmosphere, instantly she knew the lads weren't getting on for some reason. "Jesus, who died?"

Aaron sharply looked up at her and scowled. "Will you just shut up?"

"Err don't speak to me like that thank you"

"I can do what I like" he spat angrily with a scowl and he stormed up from the chair and walked away.

Jackson shut his eyes and shook his head. "Where are you going?" he called out after him.

"To get ready then I'm going out"

"Out where?"

"If I wanted to tell you I would, I don't. So I'm not" he said as he charged up the stairs.

"What the hell has gotten into him today?" Chas asked.

"Wish I knew" Jackson replied, he hated the lying but it had to be done.

…

An hour later Aaron walked up to the garage, intending on going back to work. He spotted his boss Dan; he smiled at him as he approached. Dan stopped what he was doing "Oh you're coming back now? "

Aaron frowned as he stopped by the side of the car Dan was working on. "Well yeah, I do work here"

"Up till a few weeks ago you did. Hell Aaron I gave you the benefit of the doubt, I gave you a month, thought there has to be a reason"

"There was!" Aaron defended; he had neglected to inform them of being run over then his long recovery.

"Tough, I don't want to hear it now"

Aaron's anger appeared instantly and suddenly he raged and slammed his fist through the window of the car, breathing hard and heavy with anger as he glared at Dan.

"And that'll be coming out of this pay packet" he told him as he held up the small packet.

Aaron scowled and turns away. "I don't give a stuff you can keep it! I don't want your money"

Dan frowned and began to run after him, when he caught up he grabbed Aaron by the arm which stopped him, the look on his face is a one of worry. "Aaron? Are you alright?"

Aaron shrugged "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just don't seem like the same lad I know"

He shrugged again and turned away again and walked off.

…

Dave, Jackson's right hand man was shocked to see him walking into the office with his son in his arms, he frowned and walked over he stood in the doorway. "Alright boss, we weren't expecting you or…your son"

"Yeah well" Jackson said with a sigh as he sat down at his desk "I'm back now and Jak will be with me a lot so your assistance is still needed just as it was when I was away"

Dave nodded.

"Thanks for keeping this place going while I've been away"

"No worries, everything alright though boss?"

"Uh yeah" he forced a smile as he looked up at him once he was comfortable in his chair. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Dave pouted and shook his head. "Just wondered, you look tired"

Jackson simply pointed at Jak with a smirk,"Ahh" he chuckles. "Right I'll get back to work"

Jackson sighed and looked at Jak as the office door was closed. "Sorry about that son, had no choice...you're actually a good baby, you never wake during the night but by me doing that doesn't mean you can start now alright?" Jackson said with a smile and Jak chuckled and kicked his legs and arms out. Jackson smiled again and then turns his attention to the paper work, making sure everything was still in order.

…

As Chas left work for her lunch she caught sight of Aaron across the street looking in the windows of the shops. As he kept walking mindlessly along he caught sight of his mum coming his way, he rolled his eyes and sighed he decided to stop, she'd catch him up anyway. "What?" he bluntly asked.

"Oh you know, your loving mother is on her lunch, she saw her only child and wanted to see if he was okay because this morning he was horrible to me for no reason" she said with a sarcastic smile.

Aaron nodded "Alright, I'm sorry"

"Forgiven" she smiled. "So what's happened and what did you do?"

"Eh?"

"It doesn't take a genius to work out that you and Jackson aren't talking, and its usually your fault"

"Oh cheers"

"Well it is true, so come on"

"I..." he blew out a breath as he tried to think of something. "I told him no" he couldn't think of anything else and he felt bad because of the real reason

"Told him no?" she chuckled.

"Do I have to spell it out?"

"Ohhh...okay, why?"

"I haven't been sleeping well, I'm knackered and the last thing I have the energy for is sex so...yeah he's pissed at me"

"I see, you do look shattered I can definitely tell"

Aaron grinned sarcastically. "Cheers just what a guy needs, anyway I'm off and please don't mention to Jackson that you know, alright?"

"Course not, where you off to?"

"To get what I'm owed" he told her as he walked off.

Chas frowned. "Aaron?" she asked with a concerned tone. Aaron simply waved without looking back.

…

_I've been walking for a few hours now; stopped at the park for a while I just sat and watched the world go by. I-I can't stay in that house twenty four seven and now I'm faced with that prospect because I've lost my job…my fault really I should have told them about my accident, ah what the hell I'm not fussed anyway, it's not like I'm good at it or anything…all I seem to be good at is killing…killing? Can you believe that…I wonder if that was what I was born for? _

_But no, I can't be in that house all the time, I know I have to be there for Jackson but it's hard, what can I do? What can't I do? I'm confused at how far I can go with the support that he needs, I've tried hugging him he won't let me and that's nothing compared to what we used to do and now he won't and I understand I do, what he went through is unimaginable and it's made him close up, he doesn't want me and I can cope with that. I think. _

_Like I say I'll be there for him but I need to do something with my days, I wince in pain my hand is killing me, dried blood everywhere, I don't learn do I? _

_I've made my decision I can't turn back now, they'll take me back, they have too they owe me._

…

Hours later Aaron returned home to see everyone was home aswell. He walked straight to the empty kitchen, ignoring Jackson's call to him, once there he turned the tap on and cleaned the blood from his hand. Jackson walked in seconds later; he frowned at seeing the cuts across his knuckles and fingers. "What did you do?"

"Punched a window" Aaron replied bluntly.

"Why?"

Aaron let out a sigh and faced Jackson as he turned the tap off. "Because I got sacked! I forgot to mention the accident to them, they said they gave me the benefit of the doubt, that there had to be a reason, so I told him there was, but he didn't want to know, and that I was fired, I got angry" he told him with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Well done you eh? Lashing out…suppose you'll never change in that respect"

Aaron scowled at him and ignored him as he dried his hands.

"So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know I'll sort something, can't stay in this house forever" the truth was that he had already sorted something and he'd be at work again the following day.

"Well like what Aaron?"

"I don't know, stop going on at me I'll have a look around…" he told him then noticed the suit he was wearing. "You weren't wearing that this morning"

"Oh I went into work, took Jak along too"

"Oh" his frown deepened. "Right, what was wrong with your mum looking after him?"

Jackson shrugged. "Didn't think of asking her, you coming in the living room, we've all just got some drinks"

"Erm, nah…I'll pass thanks"

"Why?" Jackson asked with a frown.

"Because I don't want too"

"Suit yourself" Jackson told him before turning and walking back to join Adam and Chas again.

Minutes later Aaron heard Hazel walking through the front door, jokingly ranting on about how she was the last to know that they were back early. Aaron rolled his eyes and sighed. "I can't be doing with this" he mumbled. "I'm going to bed" he told himself then peaked out of the kitchen, the hallway was clear, she was with the rest of them in the living room. He opened the door further and walked along to the stairs and up them quickly.

Hazel saw a glimpse of him passing by as she stood taking off her coat in the living room. "Oh hello love" and when she got no response she frowned and looked at them. "What's with him?" she asked as they all heard the bedroom door bang shut.

Jackson looked away, he knew why, the strain that had been placed on them by his rape was causing this, he couldn't help it though but it didn't stop him feeling sad for Aaron, it wasn't his fault and he didn't deserve the effects of it all.

"He's been like that all day" Chas told her. "He'll be fine, get yourself sat down, there's a drink waiting" she told her with a smile.

"Just how I like to end the day" Hazel smiled giddily and walked to the chair and sat down, picking up her wine glass in the process.

Upstairs Aaron was lying on the bed and just when he felt like he was drifting off. Bang; the sound of the gun echoed in his ears just like it had that night. He shot up in a panic, his heart was racing; it frightened the life out of him, he swallowed hard, it was starting now, he knew it was – the effects of what he had done began to sink in, guilt being the main affect.

* * *

**TBC…**


	52. Heartbreak

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Heartbreak"**

* * *

The next morning Aaron woke up and saw Jackson beside him awake, the sight of his bare chest sent shivers right through him, he wanted him back so much. They exchanged a gentle smile and then Aaron thought he would try so he moved to put his arm around him aswell as kiss him on the cheek but Jackson moved so quickly he nearly fell out of bed.

Tears instantly fill Aaron's eyes. He let out a shaky breath. "I-I know right, I get it I do but how long Jackson? I'm trying" he said as he started to cry. "I love you so much" he said as his body shuddered from the emotions he was feeling. "I-I miss you" he told him unaware that Chas was listening on the other side of the door.

Jackson let out a sob as he simply got out of bed. When Chas heard the movements from within the room she walked away. "I'm sorry" he sobbed out as he picked up his dressing gown; he put it on then picked up Jak and walked downstairs.

Aaron lay back down and cried until he couldn't cry anymore. When he got up he felt sick and he rushed to the bathroom and vomited. A few minutes later he cleaned himself up and looked at himself in the mirror; he was pale and the bags under his eyes looked horrendous. Once he at least felt fresh he grabbed some clothes and got dressed.

Chas frowned as she walked back into the kitchen after listening from the hallway. "He's just been sick, wonder what's wrong with him?"

"Must have been something he's eaten" Jackson replied.

Chas frowned. "Well that's funny because he hasn't eaten a thing in days, what the hell is going on around here?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno" he told her as the front door opened and shut quickly.

Chas sighed. "And there he goes again, off without a word; I'm really getting sick of this"

"Well, have words with him Chas not me alright?"

"I'm going to get ready for work" she told him and left him too it with Jak in the kitchen.

When she reached her bedroom Adam was just waking up, he smiled at her but he could immediately tell Chas wasn't in the mood.

"Right what the hell going on? I've asked Jackson he's playing dumb but something is and I wanna know what, my son won't speak to anybody and he looks exhausted…and ill Adam! Do you know something? Anything?" she was desperate now, she was worried about them both but more so for Aaron, naturally.

Adam sighed. "L-look you need to ask them"

Chas narrowed her eyes at him. "You do know something"

"It's not my place to say Chas!"

"Fine, I'm getting Hazel around and tonight we're all gunna sit down and talk about this, this isn't good for anybody the atmosphere in this house is unreal and it's not good for baby, this is getting sorted, believe me"

Adam nodded, she had a point.

…

It had been a while but he was walking up to the mine complex once again, they gave him his job back pretty much straight away after Aaron started mentioning compensation for his injuries in the explosion, that quickly shut them up and they accepted him back and told him to go back the next day and there he was, walking up to grab his gear which he quickly changed into then he signed in and headed down. He looked down at the work sheet he was given and he sighed when he saw who he was paired with. "Just had to be didn't it?" he mumbled to himself. He blew out a deep breath, he felt ill, and waves of nausea kept coming and going. When he arrived at his work area Mark turned to see who was there; he pouted, surprised to see Aaron again. He didn't say anything however despite having many questions for him, like why he was back, if he was okay etc. Aaron didn't say anything either they both simply got on with the job.

Jackson had taken Jak to work with him again and he was sat in his chair on the floor by his dad's desk. Jackson kept glancing down at him smiling and picking up his rattle that he kept throwing at his legs, it made him laugh and Jak was finding it funny also. Dave knocked on the office door a while later and Jackson called him in.

"What's up?" Jackson asked.

"Erm…" Dave frowned. "Listen boss…Is this really the right place for a baby?"

Jackson scowled, he had no right. "That's none of your business"

"Fair enough but what if you're called away? A meeting? None of us out there in the office can look after him, he shouldn't be here boss"

"Excuse me?" Jackson yelled which caused Jak to start crying, Jackson looked at him for a second but he was too angry and returned his focus to Dave. "I think I'll be the judge of that, he is _my_ son and I'll decide where I bring him, not you, and last time I checked, I pay your wages so if I were you I'd get the hell out of my office right now!"

Dave shook his head as he stepped out of the office to go back to work leaving Jackson to deal with Jak.

Back in the mine Aaron had only been working half an hour and he had to stop, he felt nauseous and took deep breaths and had to reach out and hold onto the side of the tunnel. Mark saw him look as if he was about to fall so he put his hand out to steady him but Aaron pulled away as he scowled at him. "You don't talk to me but you think you can touch me?" he spat nastily.

Mark sighed. "Just looked like you were gunna fall back there, that's all" he told him and seconds later a loud bang from in the mine caused Aaron to jump out of his skin. Mark frowned at seeing that. "Are you alright? You don't look so good"

"Just shut up and get on with whatever you're doing and I'll do what I'm doing. I came back here so I could get paid, not to talk to you"

"I-I don't get you, we left it on an alright note, what's with the nasty attitude towards me?" Mark asked quickly in frustration.

"Because I can" Aaron shrugged with a frown and stepped forward and carried on with his work.

…

Several hours later the long day ended and Aaron returned home dirty and sweaty from his shift. He heard chatter in the living room as he shut the front door. He walked to the living room and took one step into the room and everyone looked at him. Jackson however quickly turned away and shook his head, not happy one bit that he'd hidden the fact he'd went back to the mine.

"Oh you have to be kidding me!" Adam exclaimed and rubbed his forehead but Aaron simply shrugged. "What's it to you? Does it affect you Adam? No it doesn't so just shut it eh?"

"Now that's enough Aaron, get in here now and sit down!" Hazel raised her voice, unhappy with the whole situation.

"Please?" Chas added when she realised he wasn't moving. "We're all just worried about you love"

"You don't need to be I can look after myself" he told them all.

"Obviously!" Jackson yelled. "You look ill!"

Aaron glared at him. "Shut up, now!"

"Right! I've had it!" Chas raised her voice and got to her feet and grabbed Aaron by the arm and pulled him further into the room "Sit down now!"

Aaron sighed and walked over to sit down passing Jackson on the way, as he did he spoke to him. "I'm fine, not that you care either way" he told him bitterly.

Completely out of character and shocking everyone Jackson jumped up from the sofa to go at Aaron. "What did you just say?" he asked angrily through gritted teeth. Chas and Hazel are stunned by the turn of events but Adam jumped up ready.

Aaron scoffed. "What? You gunna hit me Jackson? WELL COME ON THEN!" he screamed.

"Don't push me!" Jackson warned him and stupidly that's what Aaron did, he flung his arms outward and pushed Jackson back but he regained his balance and both of them went for each other.

"ENOUGH!" Adam screamed as he rushed in between them but as he did Aaron grabbed him by the neck leaving struggling for air, then his fist was raised ready and a nasty evil expression washed over Aaron's face.

Hazel glared at Jackson; neither parent knew what to do. "Jackson do something!" she told him.

"Aaron!" Chas screamed. "Get off him now!"

"Or what?" Aaron bit back nastily.

Hazel shook her head as she stormed over. "I'll tell you what sunshine!" she told him as she grabbed him and pulled him off Adam with strength she never knew she had and then whacked the palm of her hand onto his face, he deserved the biggest slap going and he got it. "SIT DOWN" Hazel told him as he rubbed his stinging cheek while staring at her with tears in her eyes.

…

Five minutes later everyone was sat in silence, except Aaron and Jackson who were crying quietly. Aaron was sat on the floor resting against the sofa with his legs up and his head hiding in his arms. Chas walked back into the room and handed Adam a drink of water. "You alright?"

Adam nodded with a smile as he took the glass from her. "Yeah, thanks"

Chas cupped his cheek in her hand and leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Hazel was sat watching Aaron and Jackson carefully. "Without killing each other, I want to know what's going on and trust me neither of you is leaving this room until we find out" she told them and when Aaron's sobs increased she realised he was no good at the minute so she moved her attention fully to Jackson but he just shook his head.

"Fine" she began as she sat back in the chair. "We'll sit here as long as it takes"

A few minutes later Adam sighed. "Jackson, come on mate you've got to tell them"

Jackson's sobbing increased at Adam's words and he shook his head again "No" he cried out as he put his head in his hands, he couldn't deal with telling people, dealing with the embarrassment and seeing them change their opinion of him, he just couldn't face it.

Aaron let out a loud sob and got to his feet and quickly moving to rush out. Chas softened instantly toward her son, he seemed heartbroken in those seconds when he stood up, and she reached out and tried to stop him. Aaron moved out of her way. "Will you just leave me mum?" he asked as he sobbed then he walked into the kitchen. Chas sighed and let him go then sat back down beside Adam when Hazel spoke again.

"Jackson? Tell us what? Whatever it is, it's ok"

"But it's not though! Y-you won't understand, it'll never be okay mum"

In those seconds Hazel started to cry "But I'm your mum Jackson, I will understand, you're my boy, I've always been there Jackson and Chas and Adam are family you can tell us anything"

Tears ran down both Adam and Chas' face as they listened and watched. Chas smiled. "Of course you can" she told him trying to be supportive. In the kitchen Aaron was leaning up against the bench listening. Jackson took some deep breaths and attempted to calm himself down, when he had done so enough to speak, he did. He looked his mum in the eye; he felt the tears again already. "I was raped by a man" he told them all and broke down once again and hid his face in his face in his hands, rocking back and forth slightly.

Chas' eyes widened in horror and Adam simply looked down into his lap. Hazel's hand covered her mouth. "Oh my" she said and at the same time, Aaron rushed back into the living room after hearing him tell them all. As he rushed to Jackson he apologised repeatedly. "Please" Aaron begged as he cried. "Please let me hug you"

Jackson shook his head. "Do you still not get it? I can't Aaron" he explained with a shrug. "I can't"

Aaron's cries increased and he simply turned away. Hazel got to her feet and walked over as she wiped the tears from her face and as she sat next to him she took her son in her arms.

Chas got up to comfort Aaron, she now realised and understood why he was behaving the way he was, well half of it. "Why? Why will he let Hazel?" was all Aaron asked as his breathing hitched as his emotions got the better of him.

Chas held him tightly. "Because that's a different kind of love Aaron…it will be alright"

Aaron shook his head "No it won't"

"I'm so scared mum" Jackson told her. "What if he comes back?" he sobbed.

"He won't darling, he won't hurt you again, I won't let anything happen to you" she reassured him lovingly.

In Chas' arms still Aaron sighed and shook his head once again, an urge to tell Jackson he won't be coming back was strong, he desperately wanted to tell him it was because he had shot him, killed him, he was gone…completely gone.

* * *

**TBC…**


	53. No Turning Back

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"No Turning Back"**

* * *

The following morning Aaron woke up with a very stiff neck after getting about an hour's sleep, he decided to sleep in the living room following the events of the previous evening. He got up and had a wash in the kitchen sink, it was 7am. He decided to leave for work before anyone even woke up, he'd be way too early for work but he didn't care, he couldn't talk to anybody in the house at the minute, in fact he didn't want to.

Later that morning Chas, Adam and Hazel were sat having breakfast, only the odd word was spoken. A little while later, Jackson came downstairs in his dressing gown, holding Jak close to his chest. Hazel looked up and saw him and felt an immediate sadness "How are you feeling this morning love?" she asked, concerned for her son.

Jackson shrugged his shoulders and set about getting Jak's bottle sorted.

"Have you and Aaron sorted it out Jackson?" Chas asked.

Jackson frowned and swallowed hard as he shook his head "He never came to bed, so no not spoken to him" he told her quietly.

Chas frowned "Has anyone seen him this morning?"

Hazel and Adam both shook their heads.

"Aaron!" Chas yelled then got up, left the room and quickly checked the living room and a couple of other rooms but there was no sign, she rushed back to the kitchen "He's not here, his work stuff has gone"

Jackson snorted "Figured, first sign of tension he goes running back to _him"_

"You don't think? Adam questioned

"This is Aaron, every other time things have got tough he's jumped straight in his bed" his words however and understandably angered Chas who then slapped Jackson "You talk like he's some slag! Do not talk about my boy like that, we don't know what's going on, I mean you've said he's not been right since the cabin"

Jackson motioned his head toward Adam, who nodded.

Chas sighed in frustration. "I'm going to work!" she told them all as she stormed along the hallway and out of the house.

When Adam had left too Hazel was still sat in the kitchen watching Jackson with Jak, her heart warmed "My boys a natural"

Jackson smiled at his mum then down at Jak. "Why don't me and you stay in and have a chat today huh?" her tone wary

"I'll go and put him down" he told her, avoiding her question.

…

Chas was indeed going to work but she was going to be late, she had an appointment at the doctors and was sat in the waiting room, she checked the clock on the wall and tapped her foot nervously on the floor quickly. Eventually her name was called out and she followed the female doctor to her room and sat down. The doctor smiled at her. "So how've you been?"

Chas nodded with a smile. "Generally I'm fine but in the mornings I'm so sick"

The doctor smiled at her. "That is understandable I have your results back"

Chas nodded and waited eagerly.

"You are pregnant Miss Dingle" the doctor smiled at her and Chas smiled too and tears filled her eyes and she covered her mouth in surprise, even though the sickness was a giveaway it was amazing to have it confirmed. "Congratulations" the doctor added. "Now we'll schedule further appointments so we can check your progress, you told me you already have a son yes?"

Chas nodded and smiled. "Yes I did, is there a problem?"

"No, no" the doctor smiled. "Just checking for my notes" she told her and scribbled something down on a piece of card and handed it to her. "This is the date of your next appointment"

Chas nodded and took the reminder card. "Thank you doctor"

"You do have someone to help I'm assuming?"

Chas grinned "I do" inside she wasn't nervous about Adam's reaction at all she thought he would want it.

"Good you'll need it as you're very well aware"

Chas chuckled as she stood up. "Oh I am, thank you doctor"

The doctor nodded and watched with a smile as Chas left.

…

Jackson walked back into the kitchen and sat at the table opposite his mum. "You wanted to talk" he told her quietly.

Hazel nodded and smiled warmly at him. "How are you love?"

Jackson shrugged. "I'm struggling" he told her as he nodded. "Like my whole life is crashing in around me and there's nothing I can do to stop it, I'm so scared mum, I-it was horrible" Hazel nodded as she simply listened. "A-and now I can't even touch the man that I love because despite all of this, the effect on me it doesn't change that fact" Jackson broke into tears. "I love him so much mum, b-but I can't let him and I can't let myself touch him"

"But Aaron wouldn't hurt you Jackson" she said in a soothing manner as she held his hand.

"I know, I know, but I was sexually attacked mum…t-there's bruises on my waist from that man's hands" he cried out and dropped his head in his hands. "Why would Aaron possibly want me like that?"

"Because he loves you, but last night son, it was very much unlike you to lash out at him like that"

Jackson nodded. "I'm angry at myself that's why, I let this happen and now look at the consequences of it…it's pushing him away again, he's gone back to the mine for god sake mum and we know where that leads to"

"I don't think Aaron even knows whether he's coming or going Jackson never mind able to think about doing all that with Mark again"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "I'm scared mum, I'm so scared, he's shut himself away, he's not eating, not talking and it's all my fault"

"Hey now less of that! What happened to you wasn't your fault love!"

"How do you figure that out eh?" he asked frantically as he wiped his tears away.

"It's like you said son, you were attacked, you did not ask for this"

"Doesn't make everything better though"

Hazel sighed and shook her head, she definitely agreed with him there. "No I suppose not, I'm here for you Jackson, we all are, just please don't forget that alright?"

Jackson blew out a deep breath and nodded.

…

Adam finished work early and wanted to see Aaron was okay, so he could reassure Chas who had been literally going out of her mind with worry even before it all came out the previous night. He stood outside of the mine complex and waited a while before he saw Aaron emerging. Adam watched him and it was clear Aaron hadn't seen him even as he walked out. Adam quickly walked up to him. "Alright mate?"

Aaron frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"Fancied a pint"

"You can have one at home"

"Well not today and you're joining me" Adam grinned and Aaron sighed, he didn't really feel like he had a choice in the matter and with only three hours sleep at most altogether over the last few nights he didn't have the energy to argue back so he followed Aaron into the pub which was filling with miners.

Adam ordered and once he got their pints he paid and walked over to a table with Aaron lagging behind. Aaron sighed as he sat down. "Why are we here?"

"Alright…I want to talk to you. Mate you're really not well"

Aaron shrugged. "I'm fine"

"But you're not, what's going on?"

Aaron rolled his eyes as Mark sat at the next table beside Aaron. "Nothing and I really don't want to talk about anything here"

Adam frowned. "What's the difference? You won't talk at home either so I'm pretty much wasting my breath aren't I?"

"Pretty much" Aaron said with a sigh and looked at his pint. "I don't even want that"

Adam narrowed his eyes at him. "Now I know something's wrong, fine are ya? Really?"

"Ah shut up Adam, I'm going to the loo" he said tiredly then got up from the table and to get out he had to walk through the gap between the next table where Mark was sat.

As Aaron got up Mark looked up at him. "You sure you're alright? You never turn down a pint"

Aaron scowled and shook his head. "Who asked for your opinion?"

Mark sighed. "I'm getting tired of this"

Adam frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He isn't well! He keeps having dizzy spells, he went mad because I put my arm out to help him"

"Oh that's right, I am here you know!"

"So what you gunna do about it Aaron? He cares about you and he needs to know!"

"Yeah I do need to know"

Aaron shook his head and walked off to go the toilet, leaving Mark and Adam to talk amongst themselves, but their discussion was interrupted when they heard Aaron scream loudly at someone, Adam instantly got up and ran over to him after he watched him push the innocent miner. Adam grabbed a hold of Aaron and dragged him back, his fists were ready just like they were on him the previous night, he couldn't let that happen. "What the hell Aaron?" Adam asked as he dragged him toward the door.

"He bumped into me!" Aaron raged his breathing heavy and agitated as he was led outside.

Once out in the open Adam flung him down to the ground in his own temper, he watched as Aaron hit the ground harshly and rolled a few times, ending up off the footpath and onto the road. "THIS HAS TO STOP, WHY THE VIOLENCE AARON?" Adam yelled angrily. "I am at the end of my tether here, WE ALL ARE!" he warned him.

Aaron pushed himself to his feet. "Leave it Adam" he told him more calmly before he ran off.

Oh no, Adam was not letting him out of his sight so he started running after him. Eventually he caught up to him and they walked at a fast pace side by side. "I-I'm not safe to be around Adam, I'm not who you think I am"

"Oh shut up and get home now!" he told him.

…

Jackson was suddenly aware of raised voices and he got to his feet and walked out into the hallway to see Adam and Aaron arguing. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded.

"Ask him! He's just nearly gave some guy a pasting for no reason at all! Good job I was there!"

"I wouldn't have been in that pub at all if it wasn't for you!" Aaron shouted, then he stormed into the living room to avoid them, and upon seeing Jak in his rocker, he stopped instantly and he slowly started to cry. Jackson and Adam stood in the doorway and watched as Aaron fell to his knees in a complete breakdown.

"I'm sorry" he sobbed out, aiming his words at Jak. "I-I can't do this anymore"

Chas walked through the front door as she had finished work for the day and frowned when she saw Jackson and Adam stood in the doorway of the living room. "What's going on?"

Aaron didn't even hear his mum and his words just continued. "I can't pretend anymore"

Jackson's eyes fill with tears at the sight of him. "W-What do you mean Aaron?" he asked as Chas pushed through them and saw what they were seeing, Aaron on his knees on the floor with his back to them.

"I'm a murderer" he answered.

Jackson and Adam frowned as Chas walked over to Aaron and slowly knelt down in front of him

"Don't be silly, that's all in the past love" she told him but Aaron was having none of it, he knew the truth, they didn't.

"No - no it's not" he told her as he sobbed.

Adam sighed. "It was months ago mate, before me and Jackson even met you"

Suddenly Chas felt a change in Aaron's demeanour as he started to rub each temple ferociously with his hands, his eyes were closed and his breathing was heavy. She frowned and shook her head at Adam and Jackson basically and in no uncertain terms for them to shut up, Chas cautiously got to her feet and picked Jak up as she did so.

All of a sudden Aaron began to laugh. "Good idea" he told her.

"What do you mean by that?" Adam asked quickly. Aaron got to his feet and turned to them. Adam's eyes widened. "Oh my god" he muttered.

"What?" Chas asked as she and Jackson exchanged a confused look.

Adam walked to Aaron and placed his hands on his shoulders. "Y-You d-…you did it didn't you? You lied to me, y-your jacket…the bl-…." He had to stop he couldn't speak as it was.

Aaron was blank and void of any emotion now.

"What?" Jackson asked with a raised voice.

"What's going on Adam?"

Adam shook his head as tears strolled down his face.

"What did you do Aaron?" Jackson demanded, angrier now.

Aaron sighed, closed his eyes for a brief second and looked at them again. "I-I killed him"

Adam immediately turned away, his face scrunched as he fought with his emotions but they were too strong, they came out in floods silently for now. Jackson stepped back away from him as he simply stared at Aaron. Chas didn't believe it and shook her head at her son.

"He's dead Jackson; y-y-you don't have to worry anymore. He's never going to hurt you again, y-you shouldn't have stopped me, b-but you did a-and I couldn't leave it…I-I found an old gun in the cabin a-and I went back out. I shot him dead"

Adam stepped away from him to, his cries now audible and he shook his head in complete denial.

"No" Jackson managed to say but it was almost a whisper. "No…No…y-y-you didn't" he told him as he shook his head then he turned but Adam was blocking the doorway and he had to push by him to run out and then, out of the house.

Silence filled the room and Chas wiped her tears away and turned and walked out and along to the kitchen with Jak in her arms, she was in shock.

With the front door left a jar Adam and Aaron heard Jackson being sick in the front garden. Aaron looked down and sank into the chair beside him, he felt calm a weight had certainly been lifted from his shoulders, but he also knew there was no turning back now, damage was done as soon as he opened his mouth he accepted that.

* * *

**TBC…**


	54. Broken Souls

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Broken Souls"**

* * *

A few hours passed in complete silence, Aaron was in the living room, Jackson was upstairs with Jak and Adam and Chas were in the kitchen. None of the adults were getting any sleep that night. They all milled around for hours occasionally exchanging the odd word but none to Aaron, they likely would through the night but not yet.

It was almost one am, and Adam walked back into the kitchen after going to the toilet. He was fed up with the silence, he cautiously approached Chas. "Babe…listen, I know you're not okay, if I could have stopped him I would have"

Chas backed away a little, her mascara had ran and she had no intention of bothering to clean it off, her tears were coming and going anyway, they had been so far, understandably. "But you knew something was up"

"Yeah but I didn't know what he'd done"

"You knew how angry he was why didn't you keep an eye on him?" she asked as the tears started again.

"Chas, at the time me and Jackson were asleep when he did it, we woke up and he wasn't there, some things didn't make sense but I just put it down to him being tired, Chas…please, this isn't my fault"

Chas blew out a deep breath and shook her head. "No, of course it's not I'm sorry"

Aaron nodded and at the same time Aaron passed across the hallway and walked upstairs, they heard the bathroom door closing quietly.

Chas wiped her tears away and approached Adam and held his hands in hers. "W-we can't have secrets Adam, you should have told one of us, I can't have that especially when there's a baby to think about"

Adam frowned "Jak will be fine" he told her with a chuckle.

Chas smiled slightly. "I'm not on about Jak Adam, I'm on about ours" her smile had widened and happy tears fell.

Adam's eyes widened and he smiled. "You what?"

Chas nodded. "I haven't been feeling well in the mornings for a few weeks, I know the signs, so I went to the doctor, I went back today and I got the results confirming it"

"Oh wow" Adam said in a whisper and stepped forward and hugged her. Chas chuckled as he does and she wraps her arms around him too. "You're happy then?"

"Of course I am he tells her I- I love you Chas, I know I've not said it before but I do" he told her as he pulled away and they shared a kiss, Chas smiled at him "I love you too"

...

A while later Adam heard the shower stop and he moved to walk to the stairs. "No, Adam…don't…" Chas quickly pleaded with him. He turned and kissed her on her lips softly. "I'll be fine, I promise" he told her then walked away up the stairs. Once on the landing Adam waited until Aaron emerged a few minutes later.

Aaron saw him but he looked away again, unable to look him in the eye, he carried on his business and walked toward him to the top of the stairs.

"It's ok Aaron, I just want to talk"

Aaron shook his head and swallowed hard. "There's nothing to say, I've done it now and do you know what I don't regret it Adam" he shook his head again "I don't. The scumbag got what he deserved in the end…" he took a breath then spoke quietly, so Jackson didn't hear if he was still awake in the bedroom. "I-I did it for him" he told him

Adam frowned "But what about the body Aaron? What did you do?"

"I left it, you saw how deserted that place was and even if people are there it's doubtful they'll go that far into the woods"

"You don't know that" he said with a sigh as he looked up, he needed strength! He sighed again and looked back at him. "I know he did a horrible thing but he was still a man Aaron, a man with parents who loved him despite his flaws, he might have had kids, he was just unstable. No it doesn't justify what he did, but it also doesn't justify what you did either"

Aaron nodded slowly and looked down at the floor. "Fair enough but I will never regret killing him, not this one" at the same time Jackson could hear from in the bedroom, every word and he lay crying silently.

Adam felt a lump in his throat and he felt his eyes burn as tears surfaced once again. "P-part of me understands that Aaron I do…b-but the other part of me" he stopped, taking in a sharp breath as his tears fell. He shook his head and continued. "…But a part of me hates you" he said as he sniffled and wiped his eyes as he breathed out another shaky breath.

Aaron nodded as his own tears fell. "I know"

Adam was sobbing hard now. "And it kills me! Because you are my best mate, a-and I never thought that could ever happen, after everything we've been through together"

Aaron simply nodded.

"I-I don't know where we go from here Aaron" he explained.

"That's okay" Aaron said as he looked up at him with a teary smile, he gave a final nod and walked down the stairs.

…

Jackson couldn't stay in the bedroom any longer; Jak was sound asleep so he left him and joined Chas and Adam in the kitchen, he couldn't bring himself to speak as he closed the door behind him. But when he turned they were both watching him. He swallowed hard, he hadn't spoken in hours. "I-I didn't want this"

Chas nodded as she watched him sit at the table with them. "I know love"

"I-I can't cope Chas" he told her as he broke into tears "I can't" he repeated.

Chas leaned over and hugged him tightly. Adam watched them sadly. "It will be alright mate you've got us two, and we're staying as long as you want us too"

Chas pulled away from Jackson and turned to Adam with a frown "Adam you can't assume that, things have changed now, and I'm Aaron's mum…Jackson might not want to be reminded, do you want move out Jackson?"

"What? No" Jackson replied sharply. "No, no it's not your fault he did what he did" he reassured them with a small smile.

Chas scoffed and let out a sigh. "I'm not so sure about that"

"Hey, don't do that Chas, don't!" Adam told her gently.

Jackson nodded. "He's right Chas you can't blame yourself, Aaron alone did this, he did it, not you, I- I don't know where me and him go from here if I'm honest" he said sadly.

"How do you feel love?" She wondered.

"I don't know" he told her as he shrugged. "Nothing is making sense, I-I can't think Chas...it was too much but what I do know is you're family now, I'm not gunna push you out and make you suffer for your son's killer instinct" Jackson mentally kicked himself. "I'm sorry" he quickly apologised.

Chas pouted and shook her head. "No, no you're perfectly right love. Just try to relax, have a think and we'll make sure he goes nowhere near you until you're ready, I don't think he dares anyway"

Jackson nodded and smiled gratefully.

…

A while later Chas walked slowly into the living room and saw her son, her beautiful boy, she was a wreck and tears came once again as she just stood and watched him, he was sat on the opposite end of the sofa with his legs up and his arms wrapped around them.

"Why?" Chas asked in the silence.

"Because he hurt the man I love"

"It doesn't give you the right to go around killing somebody Aaron"

Aaron shrugged. "I was angry"

"Everybody gets angry for different reasons Aaron, they don't go killing who they're mad at"

Aaron sighed. "Okay" he didn't have the energy to argue. "But it's done now and I can't change it even if I wanted too"

Chas bit her lip as her emotions continued to peak. "What happened to you?" she cried out quietly. "Where did my little boy go? W-where has my funny, gentle and kind boy gone?"

Aaron blinked away the tears. "I-I grew up" he said sadly.

Chas placed her hand on her throat and stepped forward as she sobbed. "A-are you like this cause of me?" she couldn't bare the answer if it was. "W-what did I do wrong Aaron? Please? I-I need to know what I did wrong that made you so angry that you killed two people before you're even twenty"

"No" he cried. "No, mum please you didn't do anything, I-I know we weren't very close but it's not because of you, it's not your fault I'm the way I am, it's just me" he shrugged. "I'm screwed up, I'm messed up in here" he tapped his index finger on his head. "It's not you" he sobbed. "I don't want you thinking that"

Chas broke down and sat on the sofa and put her head in her hands. "Y-You were always a trouble maker once puberty hit, always moody…I-I'd settle for that Aaron back, not the one sat there. We all loved you so much Aaron but this, what you've done…I don't know about them but I-I don't think I can" Aaron's body shuddered and his shoulders jerked up and down quickly as he cried at her words. "I- I can't" she told him as she struggled to speak through her sadness. "And it hurts me to say that Aaron…I-it really does, this is not how I wanted your life to go, I-I never even imagined you'd do such a thing, even though you had a temper. I am so…so sorry Aaron…but I can't love you anymore, you've hurt me too much. When you told us earlier…I-I went into shock, you'd done it again…" she sighed, and took a few breaths to calm down. "In my eyes…I lost my son the night he killed Carl" Instantly at those words Aaron let out a heart-breaking cry, which made her cry again. "I-I'm sorry" she told him and got up and left the living room, but Adam was there to comfort her.

…

Chas had taken herself to bed, completely drained from the events of the day night and early morning, she didn't sleep.

Adam and Jackson were sat at the kitchen table and Adam couldn't keep it in any longer. "I've got some news and it might not be the right time mate but I can't keep it in…"

Jackson smirked. "Tell me"

"How do you feel about another baby around the house?"

Jackson jaw dropped and he grinned, nodding his head.

"But I don't want him to know Jackson"

"I understand" Jackson told him. "I'm so happy for you mate, I really, really am" he said as tears fell from his eyes.

Adam smiled as he placed his hand over Jackson's "If I could take it all away" he began as his tone wavered because of his sadness "I'd do it in a second"

Jackson nodded and turned his hand and gripped Adams "We've lost him mate" he told him and they both simply cried together, that fact was so true. When they calmed down Jackson stood up. "Something I need to do alright…keep a listen out just in case"

"Jackson?" Adam asked with a frown.

"Just keep a listen out…I might need ya I might not" he shrugged. "I don't know yet"

Adam nodded and watched him walk along to the living room where Aaron was.

Jackson stopped in the doorway and his heart sank when he looked at him sat on the sofa in the same place he was when Chas spoke to him. Jackson walked in and sat on the sofa with him. Aaron frowned and turned to face Jackson, what was going on?

"I've uh…I've heard some of the conversations that have gone on with you tonight…and I…I understand why you did it for me, I do, but like Adam said he was a man Aaron, he was despite what he did to me. But what you did does not help me in the slightest, I can imagine you didn't even think anything through before you blew his brains out but it was pointless Aaron, it won't help me, the only thing that can help me are the people I love and…" he blew out a breath. "Well…" he smiled softly at Aaron but Aaron knew what was coming and his lower lip trembled. "In some way deep down I will always love you Aaron, you did make me happy, you changed my life but I can't live that love…" he narrowed his eyes at him. "You're too messed up and I have Jak to think about, you've killed again and I know where that takes us now…"

Aaron just dropped his head in his hands.

Jackson wiped away his tears and took in a deep breath before continuing. "Your bag is packed, I need you to leave Aaron, I don't know where, I don't care even…" he spoke calmly, there was no nastiness from him to Aaron. "I just need you to leave…I'll always love you deep down…it will always be there" he smiled. "But you're too dangerous, I wish I could turn back time Aaron…I-I wish I could…but I can't, you're a disaster…" he cried silently and reached out and put his hand on Aaron's head and rubbed it gently. "A complete disaster and none of us can help you; you have to leave me to get on with my life"

Aaron sobbed loudly. "I love you so much Jackson, I-I'll change I won't do it again, I-I was just so mad, he hurt you, no one hurts you Jackson"

Jackson nodded as he fought back more of his tears. "I understand that Aaron, and thank you but…me and you…we-were done Aaron…please leave"

"It's the middle of the night Jackson"

Jackson nodded. "You'll manage"

Aaron cried even louder. "No, please don't do this, don't please I-I need you Jackson"

Jackson shook his head and got to his feet and turned to see Adam in the doorway holding Aaron's bag. "Come on, it'll be easier this way"

"How can it be?" Aaron asked quickly as he got to his feet.

"Because we won't end up fighting, and causing a scene, I just need you to leave quietly"

"A-Adam?" Aaron asked.

Adam nodded. "Just go mate…"

"No please I'm so sorry!" he said in a raised voice as he backed up against a wall by the door to the hallway.

Jackson shook his head. "No…come on…I have my family to think about Aaron, you don't count as that anymore" he told him then he grabbed his arm and yanked at him and dragged him to the front door, and once he opened it he threw Aaron out, followed by his bag from Adam.

"Stick around and I'll call the police, goodbye Aaron"

Aaron frowned, he knew he deserved it but some small part of him thought they would get through it, as the front door closed in front of him and he heard the lock click he fell to his knees in the darkness and cried.

In the hallway Jackson slid down the wall in bits. "He made me so happy Adam, I-in the beginning…his smile…_thee_ smile…it brightened my life…" he sobbed. "Where did it all go wrong?"

Adam knelt down in front of him and hugged him. "It was all wrong even before then mate" he told him as he rubbed his back to soothe him.

Minutes later when Aaron calmed down, he got up and walked away from his boyfriend who he loved so much, his mum and best mate and baby Jak who he loved too and also the home they all shared, it broke his heart but he understood why. Nobody could live with a monster and despite the reasons for what he did, that was exactly what he was; a monster.

* * *

**TBC…**


	55. Sometimes I'm Gunna Have To Lose

**AARON & JACKSON**

**-1912: The Aftermath-**

**"Sometimes I'm Gunna Have To Lose"**

* * *

Three very exhausted adults sat together at the kitchen table with a very awake and giddy baby. They all ate breakfast together and in between bites Jackson gave Jak a spoonful of his baby food. "Chas I'm sorry" Jackson muttered.

Chas looked over at him and smiled slightly. "You did what you had to do, I support your decision Jackson, Aaron's gone now and it will be hard, for all of us" she said as she looked around at Jackson, Jak and Adam. "But we can get through this together"

Adam nodded. "It hurts so bad to say this but, I don't want him anywhere near us, no contact, so if we can decide together that, that is the right thing to do then, it would make this horrible day just that much more bearable" he told them.

Chas swallowed hard and looked at Jackson, they agreed. "Fair enough" Jackson told him.

"Yeah that's fine" Chas answered with a smile

Adam nodded and got up to put his bowl in the sink. "Good" he told them and walked out of the kitchen.

…

Aaron frowned as he started to open his eyes, drops of rain being the cause of him waking. He jumped up into a sitting position on the park bench. He sighed, he had nobody, his life was a complete mess and he couldn't fix it. He was going to miss them all so much. He looked at his watch it was still early morning but he knew Hazel would be up; he needed to speak to her.

Arriving at Hazel's soaking wet from the rain he knocked on the door and she opened it seconds later. She frowned, wondering why he was there. "Aaron?"

"C-Can I come in?"

"Of course" she said as she stepped back to let him in. "W-what's happened, what's with your bag?"

"Jackson has thrown me out and for good reason"

"What why?" she asked him.

"I-I don't want you to hate me too Hazel"

"Aaron whatever it is…"

"But you're going to find out anyway…" he told her and took a deep breath. "T-that man who raped Jackson…I-I found a gun" he explained with his head down, avoiding eye contact. At hearing those words she placed a hand over her mouth. "It was an old thing in one of the drawers in the cabin…as soon as I saw it I knew what I had to do, he hurt Jackson Hazel, I was so angry s-so I went back into the woods and I killed him"

Aaron then looked up at her. "I know you hate me now too and I don't blame you, he threw me out in the middle of the night, slept in the park again…I-I'm going away Hazel and can I ask you to do something for me?" he asked as he felt his emotions stirring and he didn't feel like he could stop them and he suddenly began to sob as he waited for her answer.

Hazel nodded, stunned completely by his admission.

"P-please look after him and Jak, all of them my mum and Adam, I-I know I deserve this I know that now but the man I love was hurt and I lashed out…" he wiped his eyes as he still cried. "I will always love him Hazel, I love them all, so, so much, please do that for me"

Hazel found herself nodding, how could she say no. "W-Where are you going Aaron?"

Aaron shrugged as he stepped back toward the front door. "I'm not quite sure yet" he said with a gentle smile then pulled open the door.

"N-No…Aaron wait…" she exclaimed and rushed to the door to stop him. Aaron turned and faced her. "I-I don't hate you" she said whilst shaking her head. "I don't and I know I should but I can't Aaron…you are an amazing person deep down…"

"No, I'm not Hazel"

"Jackson fell in love with you"

Aaron started to cry again. "Don't Hazel…" he sobbed. "Don't…I want to go back to those days when we were on Titanic so badly, it was love at first sight and he's such an amazing man…b-but I've done too much now, I'm dangerous and he can't love me anymore" Aaron cried out.

Hazel took him into her arms and held him, he was an emotional wreck and she felt his entire body shuddering as he cried. A few seconds later Aaron pulled away and wiped his eyes. "I-I don't know if I'll ever see you again, I know we didn't get on at first but I admire you so much, you're such a strong and lovable woman and I am honoured to have known you" he told her with a gentle smile, his eyes shone in the light from his tears. "Take care of yourself Hazel…"

"Oh Aaron" she said sadly as tears ran down her face.

"Look after them" he told her with a nod before he left and closed the door behind him.

…

Jackson drove to work, the same route every day, passing the same buildings, nothing ever really stuck out to him, until that drive. He frowned as he watched him. His eyes widened and a panic rushed through his entire body, he pulled over as quickly as he could and got out of his car and ran to him. "Aaron! NO!" he yelled.

Aaron was in a daze walking to the building, he frowned and wondered why he'd hear Jackson's voice, he only realised it was real when he felt a hand on his arm pulling him to a stop and Jackson ran around him and faced him. Aaron frowned.

"What are you doing?" Jackson asked.

"Going in there, why are you even bothered Jackson? I've hurt you too much"

"Yeah you have but like I said I will always love you and n-now I'm scared for you…what you're about to do, you don't have too"

Aaron nodded. "Yes I do Jackson…" he felt himself tear up again and so was Jackson. "You are the most amazing person that I know, you loved me" he smiled. "And I will never forget how special that felt, you were mine and I will always love you, I'll remember you in here" he tapped his chest. "You'll always be there; you'll never leave me no matter what happens"

"No Aaron please you've got your whole life ahead of you" Jackson told him as tear after tear ran down his face. "I-I know I was mad but I did what I had too…but this? I don't want this for you"

"My life is over Jackson…it was over the night I killed Carl…"

"Please don't do this" Jackson begged him as he sobbed.

"I'm done Jackson, I've got nobody now and that's down to me, I did it, me" he said as he cupped Jackson's cheek with his hand, he was past the point of caring whether people saw. "None of this was your fault so don't blame yourself alright?" he asked with a smile.

Jackson couldn't take it, this was all too much and he held Aaron's hand that was on his face as the tears continued to fall.

Aaron's body shook as more tears came; he pulled his hand back slowly. "I'll never forget" he told him with a smile and all Jackson could do was stare into his amazing ocean blue eyes. Aaron then walked past him and Jackson helplessly turned to watch, unable to do anything to stop him.

As he neared the building Aaron turned to face him with his lovely smile, it broke Jackson's heart even more, because despite what he had done he could not stop loving him, and he smiled back at him. Aaron smiled wider. "This is the way my life was meant to go…maybe prison can fix me…" he blew out a shaky breath. "Goodbye Jackson" he told him with a nod. "I'll miss you so much"

Jackson broke down but felt numb, frozen to the spot, he couldn't do anything but watch him walk away, walk into that building. It hurt him so much knowing that Aaron's life was now over. Because in there what his confession would lead too, it would make it over and he couldn't bare Aaron being in there. He didn't quite realise how important he was in his life until he was gone.

* * *

**The End…**


End file.
